Anonymous

This is less of a question, more of a discussion.

When I was 16/17 I was drawn to “sad girls.” Classic fixing mentality, I guess. My first relationship started great, but it became very very apparent towards the end how toxic it was. I vowed not to get involved with girls like that again, that I wanted a confident girl who knows live life a little more. Now, 21, I feel tons more confident in myself, and I want to get back into dating now that I’ve resolved my own problems. But holy ****, does it not just seem like every girl is depressed?

I mean NONE of this to be disrespectful. I have been there.

And I DON’T mean I want a girl who’s never sad.

How do you navigate the dating world like that, though? Without hurting feelings that are fragile to begin with. Can you? You might not even realize until the initial honeymoon phase has started wearing off, in which case there is no way of avoiding hurting someone. Am I just being a jerk? Has anybody else experienced this?

I recently moved to the US from England, to start college.

I met this girl in my class. On the first day we had to go round "speed dating" the other students. For about two minutes you get to know someone in your class. I had good conversations with a couple of people, this girl was one of them.

Next day in class we have to get into groups of 3. This girl immediately turns around and says "I'm going to go with you." Which I would not take so much notice of if we were already friends.

Then, when I mention to her that we're in the same Maths class (it's a big class, in a lab), she says "I need to find you!" And when she did we had a good time.

If she's just being friendly, that's cool too. I don't really know anybody here yet.

But she is really attractive, so I wouldn't mind asking her out.

What do I do?

I'm planning on getting my ears pierced but my work doesn't allow earrings, can I take them out for 5-10 hours then put them back in?

So for 2 months I went to the gym religiously and stuck to a hard diet, I lost well over 2 stone.

Now I've started a new job as a Waiter and so I spend on average, 10 hours a day on my feet or doing light manual labour. As a result my feet hurt so bad I can't go to the gym, my diet has also been a lot less strict, I've had the odd day where I've had a few fries or a brownie.

And don't get me wrong I've still been to the gym a couple of times but nothing like I used to

I eat anywhere from 900 to 1300 calories a day (I was eating 900-1000 before)

Since I was little I never wanted more than one girlfriend. I had been dating this girl for about a year when she ended things out of the blue. Even she can admit she changed drastically, but at first I believed this to be a phase, so I refused to let her go but inevitably she ended the relationship - I met up with her today, and turns out she has slept around since the breakup a couple of months ago so I really don't know who she is anymore.

It scares me, because she was such a sweet girl and we were so so so in love, head over heels and just best friends.

I want that back, but I don't want it to end. Am I just too young to find that? Did she change because she is young?

I know it's cliche and typical for somebody to say after a breakup but I don't think I'll find anyone and have what we had ever again. I guess I need somebody to tell me otherwise

I'm 18 and my girlfriend left me about 2 months ago, to be honest we had a very sweet relationship and were head over heels for each other - things just got very complicated (on and off feelings). I still have feelings for her.

She 'moved on' very quickly, we continued to speak after the break up; fact is she was my best friend too. We spoke of getting back together but I guess she lost interest in the idea when she met someone else. They aren't officially together but I'm sure its only a matter of time.

I've been trying to speak to girls too, and I've been very successful - managing to talk to some very beautiful girls, but my heart just isn't in it, and I inevitably shut them off.

All except this one girl, who I really get along with, I'm supposed to meet her for coffee soon. I just really don't know how to move forward. One minute I'm really down with this girl and the next I'm reminiscing about my ex and having an urge to win her back. Truth is deep down I have a feeling it isn't over between us. Maybe it'll take a year, two years, but I just have this feeling we will get back together.

How do I go forward? ANY feedback is greatly appreciated, thank you very much.

I am an 18 y/o Male, I eat anywhere between 900 and 1,000 calories per day. I go to the gym almost every day and do A LOT of cardio.

Is this Healthy?

She broke up with me 32 days ago.

On the day of our breakup things were sweet, we had a nice day, she told me she loved me passionately, she even told me she would never leave me 40 minutes before she went home and broke up with me via text :)

Just take my word for it - we had a very sweet relationship, we were best friends and we made each other better people (not so much towards the end but there was still lots of love there)

2 weeks after we break up she's talking to somebody else... seeing somebody else... she's clearly pursuing another relationship despite saying her main reason for breaking up with me was not wanting one

Is she trying to fill a void? Is the impact of the breakup going to hit her further down the line? From what I can tell (and shes told me this too) she tries not to think about it?

ANY FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED THANK YOU!

basic summary:

She broke up with me recently. We were really good together, we were in love, we were like best friends and really looked out for each other. The breakup was just straight up confusing because we were fine, we argued a bit because things were really sensitive, but we literally sat and cuddled, saying how much we loved each other 30 minutes before she left me. In fact the entire week I can recall us having a good time (we always have a good time but obviously only the past week or month is relevant), she even brought up marriage and kids briefly at some point during the week, something like "our kids won't do that" or "you know that's still going to be a thing when we're married"

Anyway, now that we have broken up I am under no illusion a huge number of guys are currently having a go at her, I know this for a fact too as she tweeted something about a guy asking her for nude pictures...

We're both confused emotionally, we don't know what we want. We acknowledge there is a chance we will get back together but we need to let our emotions settle before making any decision

We thought by meeting up and talking and just catching up it may make us see a bit clearer about what we want

Based on all that information, what shall I do now? I kind of want to be friends with her first and slowly build up which she agreed would be the way to go if we did give it another shot

But what about these other guys? Can I do anything about that rn? HOW SHOULD I PROCEED!!?

When I first got together with my (now ex) girlfriend, she was very depressed. Her dad had just passed away and her ex-boyfriend had left her.

I did a really good job at helping her, she couldn't praise me enough on how I made her feel not depressed anymore. We were so in love.

But as time went on that initial "newness" of the relationship fades, only naturally, and she is clearly finding things rough again.

That's when I was introduced to this feeling. "Numb" ? what did that mean? She tried explaining it as best she could, but one day I found out for myself when I started feeling it. I felt no love for anything, I felt depressed, empty, but not TOWARDS anything, just in myself. So I started to worry, and asked "so when you feel numb, do you not love me?" she said of course she did, now that we've broken up she admitted that in those moments she didn't feel love or anything in the same way I didn't.

Now we're talking about the possibility of us getting back together, we're going to meet and talk through it. But we both talked about how our emotions are all over the place. One minute I'll really want her, she's my best friend and I want her

The next, I couldn't care less and I just feel depressed

What do I do? Any answer will be appreciated - thank you so much!

You could say the fact I have to question it would be a clear indication... but...

We both express our desire to be fully committed with each other, but we're both young, and I have heard of couples breaking up after 3 years, 7 years, blah blah (we've been together for 8 months) so I'm always sceptical

We click really well, I look forward to seeing her - it has the power to completely change my day, I always want to be with her and I get extremely depressed at the idea of her leaving or going away for a while (or permanently) and ofc I picture a future with her

I've been very unlucky with girls, and she's amazing - so I almost feel like I'm settling? In the sense that I could happily be with her for the rest of my life, but is that enough?

EXTRA INFO:

I'm really starting to grow up, and it isn't pretty. My life feels bleak, but I know I can pull through with her

She has yet to get to this stage in life though, can I rely on her to pull through for me?

I feel like perhaps I'm mistaking myself, I feel like maybe I am putting 2 and 2 together and saying "I'm depressed for X reason, why should I be? Because I'm supposed to have the girl I am going to spend the rest of my life with" and thoughts run from there I guess

But that's just an idea...

SORRY THIS WAS LONG, ANY FEEDBACK IS APPRECIATED !

I've been with my girlfriend for 6 months

We get along ridiculously well, we have down time like any other couple - that doesn't worry me

But sometimes I feel an absence of love from her part, one minute she will be obsessed with me and really passionate about her love for me, and the next she's just "love u" ? Our communication is really good and our relationship is strong enough that I felt able to talk about this but I didn't really get anywhere, I don't think I made my point tbh

ANYWAY, sometimes I feel my love for her completely escape me when there is a clear absence of love, and it REALLY hurts, it's almost physical ... but why? It's usually only for a few seconds

Like I feel unloved (that's my problem, I'm pretty needy tbh) and then all of a sudden I get this gut wrenching feeling for a few seconds that I don't love her? I think that's what it is anyway

SORRY THIS WAS SO CHATTY BUT I HOPE YOU CAN HELP, THANKS!!

I'm 17 and my girlfriend is 16, we're way beyond our years in terms of maturity, so sex is f***ing great, we just communicate so well! But we have sex almost every time we see each other, and if we're not having sex, we're still touching each other (unless we're out in public, even then, she MAY grab my... so she can get turned on that I'm struggling with a hard on lol)

We lost our virginity together, and we both love each other very much - but I'm worried, is this becoming a sex-based relationship? Or are we simply two young people exploring the wonders of sex together?

We try to cut down, we watch Game of Thrones together, and we forbid anything sexual whilst its on...but once its over boy does it go down!

Help!!

HERE ARE THE CIRCUMSTANCES:

It occured before you met your partner, therefore you would be unlikely to win a court case.

Your partner knows exactly who it was. Finding the culprits whereabouts wouldn't be too difficult.

Would you murder them? If so, would you attempt to get away with it or hand yourself in immediately?

Would you take matters to court? Bearing in mind you would be unlikely to win a case.

Would you simply do nothing? Just comfort your partner.

Or something else?

FACT: most rape victims simply want the person(s) responsible dead. To not exist.

I understand rape is a sensitive subject and I don't mean to upset or offend anyone :)

I want to dye my hair blonde from dark brown, but not permanently, yet BLONDE. Not just a lighter brown.

Will bleaching it make it permanent?

But I want it to stay blonde for as long as I like it, for example: a dye that I have to reapply once a week - and I can stop applying it when I want to go back to being dark brown.

I heard if its your first time you're best going to a salon, I am a guy - isn't that a little weird?

Any answers are appreciated!

I often feel REALLY frustrated, so much so I just want to kill myself to end it

Most of the time I feel worse in the evening

When I'm happy I couldn't even tell you why I get so frustrated

If I'm in that mood I get irritated VERY easily

Hugely unmotivated

Overeat

I can happily look at deadlines for school, and miss them (I used to freak out and get it all done)

However, I don't have this "up" that people say is associated with Bipolar disorder. I don't feel "unstoppable." I do have more enthusiasm to achieve my goals, I don't feel sad, and as I said before: I couldn't even tell you why I get so frustrated - but once I am in that state I couldn't tell you either, because I would be so confused, I would probably try and tell you, and then get mad that I didn't tell you properly or something equally stupid.

OK, so I've been seeing this girl who is in a relationship (she originally lied, saying she was single), and I admitted my feelings for her, and she said she is fine with that? I'm very confused...

OK, so I've been seeing this girl who is in a relationship (she originally lied, saying she was single), and I admitted my feelings for her, and she said she is fine with that? I'm very confused...

We text everyday, sometimes she will text me first, others it's me. Often texting until the early hours of the morning.

We recently met up and had coffee.

I have also taken her to see a film and walked her home.

I have been back to hers.

She has come back to my place and we watched a couple of horror movies until late at night.

My friends all believe she must have something for me.

But she has a boyfriend who knows about me (although she has lied to him before, saying she didn't want to talk to me any more, when she clearly still did: because she was).