Louise

Started a new relationship recently, but I'm not sure what pace I should go at, I really want to settle down and have kids, and I don't want to date someone if they do not, when is a good time to figure out if we are going in the same direction? How long should you be with someone before settling down, I waited in the past for over 2 years but it seemed to fall apart after that, yet friends of mine have got married after only a year and have been very happy.

went to see my family recently, I had lots of gifts and had made a lot of effort so we'd have a good time, but as ever we had a big argument, I said some horrible things and feel awful. My parents have been unkind to me a lot in the past, my Mum has outbursts that come out of no-where and says unkind things pulling me down and threatening to drop me. My Dad is also very mean and says unbelievable cruel things that have hurt me deeply. It seems to be a cycle and happens every year or 2, then we make up but the only person that ever says sorry is me. This last time I saw them they just blamed me for everything, I know I had a big part but I also know this stems from all the things they have said and done to me, we are no longer talking and to be honest I don't think I want to know them anymore, however they are all the family I have and wanted some advice on dealing with this and the guilt I feel for what has happened? Please don't say counselling, I've had 2 now and they were both nuts!!! Human error happens even with letters after your name, I'd prefer more self help advice please :)