Anna

I made a friend with my selfish interest in the beginning. I knew he never felt much for me and is friends with me because he likes the attention and importance I gave him and I also stayed friends with him because I felt good being around him, the way he used to make me feel, the attention etc etc. I always knew there was no selfless love for the each other but a selfish motivation of fulfilling our emotional needs. I did care for him lot, I loved talking/spending time with him so much that you can say I was obsessed over him but I never felt that pure, selfless eternal feeling of love for him. I have been mean to other people and sometimes even to him for being with him. Deep inside my heart I always knew it was all about me and not him.

But then suddenly things changed. This friend turned out to be a total cheater. He has got a new girlfriend and for some unknown reason he told a very sensitive secret of mine to his girlfriend and on her demand totally broke up our friendship without even telling me the right reason. In the first moment I was just very angry at him and I thought since I didn't really love him, I will get over it once I can get busy with other stuff. But the problem is , this not happening. After the anger settled, I have started to miss him/the friend I had a month ago. I JUST CAN'T STOP MISSING HIM. I miss him so much that for a month I have not been able to stop thinking about him. I can't sleep, can't study, can't work. I start to cry seeing anything that reminds me of him. People are surprised I am so upset about loosing a friend and that too after I know his reality. In any case, I don't want to go back to him but I can't stop wishing that this incident never happened. I am totally unable to let go of it. I feel it would have been OK with me if I could still be friends with him without knowing that he was a bad person.

Is it possible that I love myself so much/I am so selfish that I can't take it that I lost him or I don't get to feel the way I used to feel with him? I really doubt I loved him so much that I can't forget him, so it means its about me??? Am I upset in his absence because I am missing the time we were together as that time made me feel so good? Can someone be so selfish that it hurts? Please help me figure out this, may be this will help me get over him.

I had a guy friend who was my only close friend in this place and we used to spend a lot of time together. I really enjoyed being around him but I never felt anything more than that. Some people and my boyfriend who lives 2 hours away used to tell me that I sometimes behave as if I have a crush on this friend but I never felt anything deep for him and so I never believed them.

Now, things have changed drastically. This friend turned out to be a total cheater. He has got a new girlfriend and for some unknown reason he told a very sensitive secret of mine to his girlfriend and on her demand totally broke up our friendship without even telling me the right reason. I later found out that he has always been lying to me and other people to his benefit. Now I realized that he was never my friend as he was even giving me wrong advises just to keep me around him, may be to get some advantages from me at work etc.

I hate this guy and I am totally shattered by his betrayal but I don't know why, I JUST CAN'T STOP MISSING HIM. I miss him so much that for a month I have not been able to stop thinking about him. I can't sleep, can't study, can't work. I start to cry seeing anything that reminds me of him. No-one can believe I am so upset about loosing a friend and that too after I know his reality. People say I must have been in love with him as all of these are typical symptoms of a break up. I agree that I did love him a lot truely from my heart but only as a friend and not anything more. I say so because, 1) I never thought of him being my boyfriend or spending life with him. 2) Now he has a girlfriend and I don't feel bad that another girl is with him (there is no jealousy), I am just sad that I am not with him. In any case, I don't want to go back to him but I can't stop wishing that this incident never happened. I never felt so deep for him as I am feeling now. I still don't believe I was ever in love with him romantically but I don't know why the pain and emptiness is so intense. Please help me figure out my feelings. It is important for me as this issue is affecting my boyfriends trust on me and also figuring it out might help me get over the pain sooner

I had a guy friend who was my only close friend in this place and we used to spend a lot of time together. I really enjoyed being around him but I never felt anything more than that. Some people and my boyfriend who lives 2 hours away used to tell me that I sometimes behave as if I have a crush on this friend but I never felt anything deep for him and so I never believed them.

Now, things have changed drastically. This friend turned out to be a total cheater. He has got a new girlfriend and for some unknown reason he told a very sensitive secret of mine to his girlfriend and on her demand totally broke up our friendship without even telling me the right reason. I later found out that he has always been lying to me and other people to his benefit. Now I realized that he was never my friend as he was even giving me wrong advises just to keep me around him, may be to get some advantages from me at work etc.

I hate this guy and I am totally shattered by his betrayal but I don't know why, I JUST CAN'T STOP MISSING HIM. I miss him so much that for a month I have not been able to stop thinking about him. I can't sleep, can't study, can't work. I start to cry seeing anything that reminds me of him. No-one can believe I am so upset about loosing a friend and that too after I know his reality. People say I must have been in love with him as all of these are typical symptoms of a break up. I agree that I did love him a lot truely from my heart but only as a friend and not anything more. I say so because, 1) I never thought of him being my boyfriend or spending life with him. 2) Now he has a girlfriend and I don't feel bad that another girl is with him (there is no jealousy), I am just sad that I am not with him. In any case, I don't want to go back to him but I can't stop wishing that this incident never happened. I never felt so deep for him as I am feeling now. I still don't believe I was ever in love with him romantically but I don't know why the pain and emptiness is so intense. Please help me figure out my feelings. It is important for me as this issue is affecting my boyfriends trust on me and also figuring it out might help me get over the pain sooner.

I am a person who cannot be alone and always like to have company. In my work place I could only find this one person to reciprocated to my friendship and I became so attached and dependent on him. Since he was the only one who fulfilled my lack of a friend in this place I loved spending time with him so much that even when my husband, (who lives 2 hrs away and visits me only in weekends) felt insecure about it I could not stop it.

One time something happened and we made a terrible mistake. It was bothering me so much but he convinced me that its just one mistake and we can totally try to ignore it and stay friends and since his company was so much precious for me that I could actually ignore the past and stay normally with him. Recently, he has started dating a girl, he is very very serious about. One day in some context I happened to say something that reminded him of that bad incident and he told me that now since he is in love with someone those memories are bothering him and I should never talk about those things. I totally agreed and promised him that those things are trivial and his friendship is what matters to me. But next day to that he called me and told that me that he wants to cut all contacts with me and not even keep talking terms because being with me reminds of the mistakes he made and are bothering him. He removed me from facebook, chat everything and told me that its nothing my fault just his guilt. I told him that even I want to forget those memories but we don't talk and get awkward with each others it would rather remind us more, we should just ignore them and stay friends as before. He refused to even talk to me about it and just told me that he would not keep any contact with me.

Now, I feel so cheated because I feel that its not his guilt but his fear that if I am around him what if accidently those things come out and that girl with not like it. I was such good friends with him and loved and cared for him like anything, how could he just throw me out of his life like this. He is weak and selfish person and I hate him for this. I feel like whatever we had was actually never serious for him, only I was the fool who thought of him as a true friend and got so emotionally attached. In no way I deserved to be dumped like this in return of all the love and care I gave. Now even I want to totally cut him out of my life but unfortunately we work on the same floor and we have all common friends(and we can't tell about this to those friends), so we have to see each other everyday. Even if I want to forget him I can't as I always see him and people talk to me about him. I think I got too emotionally in this relation then I should have and now this betrayal is causing so much pain to me that I can't express in words. Whenever something happenes first I get sad because I miss all the good times we spent, then I get sad thinking that even those times were not real as he was only playing with me and then I think of the betrayal. This is even affecting my work and health. Please give me some suggestions how to get over him, even when I see him everyday.

My roommate is insanely obsessed about one of her guy friends but can't tell him or get him because he already has a serious girlfriend. Whenever he goes out with her girlfriend she keeps on crying and weeping in her room. Her feelings are so intense that she would keep sobbing like anything for hours and hours and looking at this sometimes I get scared that, what if her sorrow and pain can actually cause some kind of Jinx or curse on the guy's relationship and happiness. What do you think?

A friend of mine told me that once she had sex with one of her male friends while they were both drunk. She said it was a total accident and next morning they were both really embarrassed and so decided to not talk about it or mention it to anyone to avoid awkwardness between themselves and also complications in their respective relationships. She told me that her friend's girlfriend is totally obsessed and over possessive, she always misbehaves with all female friends of this guy and since my friend works with this guy and so spends a lot of time with him she would trouble her the most. She never complained to the guy because she did not want to come between him and his girlfriend. She told me that although this incidence was sleeping with the guy was unintended and she really feels guilty about it but it made a part of her feel happy as it felt like a secret revenge that she took against this girl. My question is, when the girl doesn't even know about it and has suffered no pain out of it how come you can call this a revenge and how does it make my friend feel happy about it

I am happily married but a few months ago I felt like I have a crush on one of my new colleagues. I really loved to spend as much as possible time with him. However, this never made my love for my husband any less and I knew its a momentary attraction, so I did not worry about it. Slowly, as I became friends with that guy, that crush feeling got lesser and I am now pretty casual with him. Also, I try to stop myself from spending much time with him. Things are pretty smooth and I don't really feel much anymore generally. But I don't know why whenever I see any other women getting close to him or he being interested in another women, I get extremely jealous. I have no reason for that as I have my husband and a happy married life as well but I can't control my emotion whenever I see any other women around him. What is this feeling, is it something serious or it happens to everyone?

I am an Indian girl in late twenties. I have a boyfriend for last 5 years and we are doing kind of fine with each other. Of course there are many things we don't like in each other but whenever I encounter such a thing I always tell myself that no one is perfect and if I never met with him and I would have got married through a arranged marriage what is the assurance that the other person will be better than him. In last few months, there have been so many differences between us that I felt like if I had an option I would may be not be with him. He is a very nice person but I some how feel that we are not made for each other. These thoughts make me feel that I am not in love but denial. However, I can't break up with him because if I do so my parents will make me get married by arranged marriage and I don't want to get married so some stranger, atleast I know this guy for last 5 years. More and more I am getting into these thoughts I am getting detached from him and our relationship is becoming stressful. Somehow, I feel that even he has started thinking like that and he is with me because he does not want to back off from the commitment he has given to me. I tried to talk to him about it but it looks like we both don't have the courage to take a decision and we fool ourselves by telling that we love each other so much that we can't live without each other. But if this is love, why do we have these confusions.

We are very close to getting married and I am so confused about it. For me I still feel that it is a fair deal because otherwise I would be marrying a complete stranger but I feel that I am doing wrong to my boyfriend by being in this relation.

If two good friends with no emotions for each other then just friendship have sex with each other once in a while in completely unplanned encounters. I mean they are not regular sexual partners or have mutually decided to be "friends with benefits' but do end up doing it if they come too close and get aroused. They are not attracted to each other in any sense (physical or emotional) but just feel comfortable with each other's body to satisfy their physical desire. They don't talk about it the next morning and their friendship remains exactly the same even after this.

If two good friends with no emotions for each other then just friendship have sex with each other once in a while in completely unplanned encounters. I mean they are not regular sexual partners or have mutually decided to be "friends with benefits' but do end up doing it if they come too close and get aroused. They are not attracted to each other in any sense (physical or emotional) but just feel comfortable with each other's body to satisfy their physical desire. They don't talk about it the next morning and their friendship remains exactly the same even after this.

If two good friends with no emotions for each other then just friendship have sex with each other once in a while in completely unplanned encounters. I mean they are not regular sexual partners or have mutually decided to be "friends with benefits' but do end up doing it if they come too close and get aroused. They are not attracted to each other in any sense (physical or emotional) but just feel comfortable with each other's body to satisfy their physical desire. They don't talk about it the next morning and their friendship remains exactly the same even after this.

I am kind of happily engaged with my boyfriend. He is generally good to me but since it has been many years to our relationship and especially after engagement I do feel very taken for granted and not so special for him. I am obviously sad about it but I never felt those things were as big and serious for me to stop loving him or think of reconsidering about this relation. I always took it as ' there are problems in every relationship'. A few months before I met a guy at work he is very nice and charming. I instantaneously had a crush on him but it was not strong enough for me to love my fiancé any less and also my fiancé is way better than him in many ways. But what I felt for him was uncontrollable, it was like a new thrill and excitement in my otherwise monotonous life where I never even stopped feeling beautiful because my fiancé stopped telling me that. Also I read at many places that such crushes are normal we have to just set our priorities so I did not do anything about it for many months. We became friends and everything was fine untill one day while simply talking to him and just as a part of some joke we came very close to each other and I actually ended up in being bed with each other. I would say that during every moment of that act I was questioning myself that what am I doing but still I wasn't able to stop myself. I really don't know what happened to me. I talked to him and he told me to forget about it as it was just a weak moment of physical desire. But I still can't believe that I could ever cheat on my fiance. I never thought I can be person who has so less control over sexual desire and also I was only slightly attracted to him and never even thought of having sex with him even in my dreams. We are still friends and we don't talk about it at all. But I have so many questions in my mind, is it cheating even if I don't have any affair with that friend and that happened only once? What do I do now? and the biggest one, Why did I even do it in the first place?

I am kind of happily engaged with my boyfriend. He is generally good to me but since it has been many years to our relationship and especially after engagement I do feel very taken for granted and not so special for him. I am obviously sad about it but I never felt those things were as big and serious for me to stop loving him or think of reconsidering about this relation. I always took it as ' there are problems in every relationship'. A few months before I met a guy at work he is very nice and charming. I instantaneously had a crush on him but it was not strong enough for me to love my fiancé any less and also my fiancé is way better than him in many ways. But what I felt for him was uncontrollable, it was like a new thrill and excitement in my otherwise monotonous life where I never even stopped feeling beautiful because my fiancé stopped telling me that. Also I read at many places that such crushes are normal we have to just set our priorities so I did not do anything about it for many months. We became friends and everything was fine untill one day while simply talking to him and just as a part of some joke we came very close to each other and I actually ended up in being bed with each other. I would say that during every moment of that act I was questioning myself that what am I doing but still I wasn't able to stop myself. I really don't know what happened to me. I talked to him and he told me to forget about it as it was just a weak moment of physical desire. But I still can't believe that I could ever cheat on my fiance. I never thought I can be person who has so less control over sexual desire and also I was only slightly attracted to him and never even thought of having sex with him even in my dreams. We are still friends and we don't talk about it at all. But I have so many questions in my mind, is it cheating even if I don't have any affair with that friend and that happened only once? What do I do now? and the biggest one, Why did I even do it in the first place?

I am kind of happily engaged with my boyfriend. He is generally good to me but since it has been many years to our relationship and especially after engagement I do feel very taken for granted and not so special for him. I am obviously sad about it but I never felt those things were as big and serious for me to stop loving him or think of reconsidering about this relation. I always took it as ' there are problems in every relationship'. A few months before I met a guy at work he is very nice and charming. I instantaneously had a crush on him but it was not strong enough for me to love my fiancé any less and also my fiancé is way better than him in many ways. But what I felt for him was uncontrollable, it was like a new thrill and excitement in my otherwise monotonous life where I never even stopped feeling beautiful because my fiancé stopped telling me that. Also I read at many places that such crushes are normal we have to just set our priorities so I did not do anything about it for many months. We became friends and everything was fine untill one day while simply talking to him and just as a part of some joke we came very close to each other and I actually ended up in being bed with each other. I would say that during every moment of that act I was questioning myself that what am I doing but still I wasn't able to stop myself. I really don't know what happened to me. I talked to him and he told me to forget about it as it was just a weak moment of physical desire. But I still can't believe that I could ever cheat on my fiance. I never thought I can be person who has so less control over sexual desire and also I was only slightly attracted to him and never even thought of having sex with him even in my dreams. We are still friends and we don't talk about it at all. But I have so many questions in my mind, is it cheating even if I don't have any affair with that friend and that happened only once? What do I do now? and the biggest one, Why did I even do it in the first place?

I am engaged with my boyfriend of many years. Few months ago I had a crush on one guy. I always knew that my boyfriend is much better than him and is the person I love and this guy is just a temporary crush, so tried to suppress my feelings for him. Then we became good friends and everything was fine untill one day in a spur of moment I ended up sleeping with him. That time I decided not to do it again but another time it happened and I was the one who initiated. Then I decided to avoid falling in such situation again where such things can happen but once again such a situation arrived and this time he made the move first. I know that I got weak and vilnerable in that moment because I do have some feelings for him but when I asked him why he did that, he did not give a proper answer. Is there a way to find out if he also has some feelings for me and because of me being engaged he is not expressing them or is he just using me because he knows that I am not strong enough to refuse to him.

Many of you are going to hate me and write some abusive things here but please answer my question as it is important for me to know what he thinks of me? I have already fallen in my own eyes and atleast I want to know what I am in his eyes.

One of my guy friends best friend is falling for him and is not telling him for the fear of loosing him. She blamed me that I spend too much time with them and she doesn't get enough time to make bonding with him. Although I did not think that was true but just to help her I tried spending even less time with them and also tried to help her a bit in getting closer to the guy. But, somehow she always end up finding a way to hurt me. I feel that she kind of considers me a competitor or something. This is not true as I am just casual friends with the guy and I myself have a boyfriend. I have done enough sacrifices for her and I many times even ended up getting my friend get mad at me but it looks like nothing seems enough for her. She would hurt me and then say sorry giving the excuse that she is disturbed as she is unable to express her love to him and I would always trust her and forgive her. But now I am totally annoyed it and I have realized that she is actually mean and never really want to apologize. She apologizes only because she feels that the guy would know she is driving her friends away and will not like her. I don't want to write all the details here but she has hurt me for so many times now even after I did whatever she asked me for. She exploited my forgiving nature and kept hurting me to take her frustrations out. I am now done with it and want to either get back at her or at least not do any more sacrifices at her. How should I do it so that I can spend as much time as I want with my friend and still she does not get a chance to complain to me or hurt me?

# The guy has no such feelings for her and doesn't know about her possessiveness. He is the one who always calls me to hang out with them.

#I can't tell him the truth as she is his best friend and if he has to choose between the two, he would probably choose her and I will be at loss.

I am getting too desperate to get a revenge from her for all the tears she made me cry.

If you secretly do something as a revenge on someone who has hurt you and the other person doesn't even know of what you have done. How does this make the person taking revenge feel better? I mean if the person who has hurt me is still thinking high of themselves and they have no clue of what I have done to them in return, then how am I supposed to feel a victory over them?

I know I am asking ideas for doing really mean thing but trust me, the girl to whom I want to do this is much meaner and totally deserves it.

So, This girl has a very serious crush for her best friend. What can I do to make her doubt that her crush had sex with me. I want to do something very subtle so that she has very slight doubt and she cannot have the courage to talk about it to anyone but this thought keeps bothering her and makes her life miserable. This is actually not true, I never had sex with him and so I absolutely do not want her to ask her best friend directly.

I know I am asking ideas for doing really mean thing but trust me, the girl to whom I want to do this is much meaner and totally deserves it.

So, This girl has a very serious crush for her best friend. What can I do to make her doubt that her crush had sex with me. I want to do something very subtle so that she has very slight doubt and she cannot have the courage to talk about it to anyone but this thought keeps bothering her and makes her life miserable. This is actually not true, I never had sex with him and so I absolutely do not want her to ask her best friend directly.

I have a feeling that my friend has started liking me. He will never tell me because I am already engaged and soon to get married and he knows that I love my fiance very much. Although, it is not going to change anything for me but this thought is bothering me and I don't know how to react to him and so it is important for me know if it is the way I am thinking or not.

We were just casual friends and it was always me who would go to him as I like his company just as a friend and never felt that I am even important for him but one time I went on leave to stay with my fiance for a week and then he used to always msg me on IM and kept asking when I was going back. It showed that he was missing me and when I came back I felt some changes in him. he was giving me more importance. Whenever he asks me to go out with him and if I refuse, he gets mad at me. Previously, he used to do a lot of teasing and some funny flirting with me but now he has stopped it. Definitely there is change in him and he is not telling me the reason for that. I want to make sure that I am not over-interpreting. I can't ask because it would make the situation awkward. Please suggest me some ways to know if he has a feeling for me. I know he would try his best to hide the feelings even if he has. What to do?