Kittykatgirl

So here is the situation, My 19 yr old son is living with a 49 yr old woman who has 4 kids, 3 of which are older than my son. I have come to terms with the relationship in order to be in my sons life. Still doesnt mean I have to like it. This woman is 10 yrs older than me, has never worked, doesnt clean the house, and had "been with" every cousin in the family. I really dont know what my kid sees in this old wrech. His car has been broken for 4 weeks now, so I have been taking him back and forth to work. He doesnt have money for lunch at work, and his woman wont make him a lunch, so guess who he askes every day to bring him lunch. I dont mind making it for him, in fact its the only time I get to spend with him, and I enjoy it, but its the priciple behind it that just pisses me off. Anyway, this morning my son comes over to borrow a dozen eggs so his girlfriend could make a family breakfast for her kids. He wouldnt have even come over but the little store didnt have eggs. Hell, I wasnt even invited over for breakfast. I feel like a doormat. I know he doesnt have money, and I dont want gifts, but a little time set aside for me on mothers day would have been the best gift ever. Now I am heartbroken and all alone. I know some of you will say tough love, and I agree, but I dont want to have a big family brawl because all it will do is cut me out of my sons life. He is my only child and I couldnt bear that, but at the same time, im tired of never being appreciated or even considered.......what to do?????

So here is the situation, My 19 yr old son is living with a 49 yr old woman who has 4 kids, 3 of which are older than my son. I have come to terms with the relationship in order to be in my sons life. Still doesnt mean I have to like it. This woman is 10 yrs older than me, has never worked, doesnt clean the house, and had "been with" every cousin in the family. I really dont know what my kid sees in this old wrech. His car has been broken for 4 weeks now, so I have been taking him back and forth to work. He doesnt have money for lunch at work, and his woman wont make him a lunch, so guess who he askes every day to bring him lunch. I dont mind making it for him, in fact its the only time I get to spend with him, and I enjoy it, but its the priciple behind it that just pisses me off. Anyway, this morning my son comes over to borrow a dozen eggs so his girlfriend could make a family breakfast for her kids. He wouldnt have even come over but the little store didnt have eggs. Hell, I wasnt even invited over for breakfast. I feel like a doormat. I know he doesnt have money, and I dont want gifts, but a little time set aside for me on mothers day would have been the best gift ever. Now I am heartbroken and all alone. I know some of you will say tough love, and I agree, but I dont want to have a big family brawl because all it will do is cut me out of my sons life. He is my only child and I couldnt bear that, but at the same time, im tired of never being appreciated or even considered.......what to do?????

So here is the situation, My 19 yr old son is living with a 49 yr old woman who has 4 kids, 3 of which are older than my son. I have come to terms with the relationship in order to be in my sons life. Still doesnt mean I have to like it. This woman is 10 yrs older than me, has never worked, doesnt clean the house, and had "been with" every cousin in the family. I really dont know what my kid sees in this old wrech. His car has been broken for 4 weeks now, so I have been taking him back and forth to work. He doesnt have money for lunch at work, and his woman wont make him a lunch, so guess who he askes every day to bring him lunch. I dont mind making it for him, in fact its the only time I get to spend with him, and I enjoy it, but its the priciple behind it that just pisses me off. Anyway, this morning my son comes over to borrow a dozen eggs so his girlfriend could make a family breakfast for her kids. He wouldnt have even come over but the little store didnt have eggs. Hell, I wasnt even invited over for breakfast. I feel like a doormat. I know he doesnt have money, and I dont want gifts, but a little time set aside for me on mothers day would have been the best gift ever. Now I am heartbroken and all alone. I know some of you will say tough love, and I agree, but I dont want to have a big family brawl because all it will do is cut me out of my sons life. He is my only child and I couldnt bear that, but at the same time, im tired of never being appreciated or even considered.......what to do??????

My husband of 10 years does not want sex with me anymore. The last time was about 2 months ago and before then it was 2 years. This morning I was using his cell to try and find an app and saw that he has been viewing porn while he is at work. He says I am being ridiculous because i am ******* pissed, and my feelings are crushed. It makes me feel like he doesn't want me, but is looking elsewhere. Not to mention that my self confidence was not the greatest, but now it is really busted. I know that porn is everywhere, and most men watch it. It really doesn't bother me as much as the fact that he wont have sex with me. It makes me feel like ****, and that he would rather look elsewhere. Even worse that he is going elsewhere. Any advice?

My husband of 10 years does not want sex with me anymore. The last time was about 2 months ago and before then it was 2 years. This morning I was using his cell to try and find an app and saw that he has been viewing porn while he is at work. He says I am being ridiculous because i am ******* pissed, and my feelings are crushed. It makes me feel like he doesn't want me, but is looking elsewhere. Not to mention that my self confidence was not the greatest, but now it is really busted. I know that porn is everywhere, and most men watch it. It really doesn't bother me as much as the fact that he wont have sex with me. It makes me feel like ****, and that he would rather look elsewhere. Even worse that he is going elsewhere. Any advice?

My husband of 10 years does not want sex with me anymore. The last time was about 2 months ago and before then it was 2 years. This morning I was using his cell to try and find an app and saw that he has been viewing porn while he is at work. He says I am being ridiculous because i am ******* pissed, and my feelings are crushed. It makes me feel like he doesn't want me, but is looking elsewhere. Not to mention that my self confidence was not the greatest, but now it is really busted. I know that porn is everywhere, and most men watch it. It really doesn't bother me as much as the fact that he wont have sex with me. It makes me feel like ****, and that he would rather look elsewhere. Even worse that he is going elsewhere. Any advice?

My husband of 10 years does not want sex with me anymore. The last time was about 2 months ago and before then it was 2 years. This morning I was using his cell to try and find an app and saw that he has been viewing porn while he is at work. He says I am being ridiculous because i am ******* pissed, and my feelings are crushed. It makes me feel like he doesn't want me, but is looking elsewhere. Not to mention that my self confidence was not the greatest, but now it is really busted. I know that porn is everywhere, and most men watch it. It really doesn't bother me as much as the fact that he wont have sex with me. It makes me feel like ****, and that he would rather look elsewhere. Even worse that he is going elsewhere. Any advice?

OK, this is more of a rant instead of question....... I am 39, have a wonderful husband and a 19 yr old son. My mom is between stage1 and 2 of dementia. I am her caregiver. I do all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, manage her money etc...I dont mind doing any of the things that I do for her, but she has a husband of 20 yrs who just flat refuses to take care of her. The only thing that is wrong with him is pure laziness. He feels that if my mom cant wait on him hand and foot like she always did, then I should have to. I have medical issues of my own, and am having back surgery in April to try and repair 3 disks in my back. I have permanent nerve damage, from my injury that make it difficult to walk sometimes. With that being said, My mom lives in an apt bldg where they have a coin laundry which is pretty expensive, so I drag their laundry to my house, sort, wash dry fold drag back and hand deliver back to them. I have been doing this for 2 yrs. My problem is that her husband is too lazy to put up the clean laundry and leaves it in the basket, then piles dirty laundry on top of the clean laundry and it gets sent back for me to rewash. I usually try to put the clean laundry away, but sometimes if I am in a hurry I forget. This has happened not once or twice but over and over and it pisses me off. I was sorting this morning and guess what??? Yep, you guessed it. So I went on a rampage and called my mom and just let her have it. I feel bad, but come on, enough is enough...... I told her that they better get some quarters cause they will be doing the laundry from now on any thoughts???

OK, this is more of a rant instead of question.......My mom is between stage1 and 2 of dementia. I am her caregiver. I do all of the cooking, cleaning, shopping, manage her money etc...I dont mind doing any of the things that I do for her, but she has a husband of 20 yrs who just flat refuses to take care of her. The only thing that is wrong with him is pure laziness. He feels that if my mom cant wait on him hand and foot like she always did, then I should have to. I have medical issues of my own, and am having back surgery in April to try and repair 3 disks in my back. I have permanent nerve damage, from my injury that make it difficult to walk sometimes. With that being said, My mom lives in an apt bldg where they have a coin laundry which is pretty expensive, so I drag their laundry to my house, sort, wash dry fold drag back and hand deliver back to them. I have been doing this for 2 yrs. My problem is that her husband is too lazy to put up the clean laundry and leaves it in the basket, then piles dirty laundry on top of the clean laundry and it gets sent back for me to rewash. I usually try to put the clean laundry away, but sometimes if I am in a hurry I forget. This has happened not once or twice but over and over and it pisses me off. I was sorting this morning and guess what??? Yep, you guessed it. So I went on a rampage and called my mom and just let her have it. I feel bad, but come on, enough is enough...... I told her that they better get some quarters cause they will be doing the laundry from now onany thoughts???

My 19 year old son is involved with a 49 year old woman who has kids that are almost as old as me. She just asked her husband (who is 26) for a divorce, and left him for my son. I know what he has done is totally wrong, and I DID NOT raise him like this!!!! Neither of them have a job, but they just rented a house and moved in together, along with her 16 year old daughter. This is so sickening to me. I would love to take her out in the woods if you know what I mean. I have talked to my son until I am blue in the face, but he is of age and there is nothing I can do. I feel so helpless!!!!

My mom was diagnosed 3 years ago with Dementia. She is now in stage 2 and must have supervision at all times. She is unable to drive, cook, clean dress, etc. She and her husband of 21 years have their own place about 1/4 mile from my home. He has always been a selfish person. He used to be a truck driver, and was making really good money, and would only send 200.00 a week for my mom to pay all the bills with, then she would come to me to help her pay bills and buy food, and he expected big meals on the table when he got home. Now that she is sick, he refuses to take care of her. He still expects her to cook, clean, and take care of him. It got to the point that I had to quit my job and go to her house everyday (daylight till dark) to cook, clean, give her a bath, and everything else that goes with it, after she nearly burned the house down, and everyday I found feces all over her because he refused to help her clean up. I have explained to him in detail what he needs to be doing for her, but he just goes and lays in the bed and leaves her alone. Mom has hallucinations which is a part of the illness. About 6 months ago I get a call at 1 am. Its my mom. She was seeing "bugs crawling all over her and her house" she said, but its ok I got a knife and pokes plastic bags under the door and they cant come in now. I asked her to put her husband on the phone and she said he wouldnt get up. Then she said she had gotten into her medicine (which is supposed to be locked up) and taken something to calm her down. I got my shoes on and went flying over there, could hear her screaming from inside, had to break the door in and found her under a blanket on the floor hysterical. He was in bed. That night, I moved her into my house. Now my dilemma is that I know he needs to disappear from her life, but she still has days where she knows what is going on, and wants to he with her husband "because she loves him" I take her home for short visits usually 2 hrs or so, after she has been fed, bathed, meds and all that, AND only if she is having a good day. Now the latest thing has been that he has told her twice that she cant have anything to eat because he is saving it for himself. When she is there I know he goes to bed (that is where he stays) and makes her go with him. To be honest with you, and this is selfish of me, but I NEED A BREAK from her sometimes too. I dont know what to do? It isnt safe for her to be with him alone, but I cant even be in the same room with him for his own safety! It really isnt my decision to break up her marriage, and she gets angry with me if I am upset with him. Any help is appreciated.

My son is grown, so I dont have that responsibility, however having to quit my job has put a burden on my husband and is causing a strain in our marriage. I will never put my mom in a home. My husband is wonderful about it and supports me 100% but the money problems are taking a toll on us.

My mom was diagnosed 3 years ago with Dementia. She is now in stage 2 and must have supervision at all times. She is unable to drive, cook, clean dress, etc. She and her husband of 21 years have their own place about 1/4 mile from my home. He has always been a selfish person. He used to be a truck driver, and was making really good money, and would only send 200.00 a week for my mom to pay all the bills with, then she would come to me to help her pay bills and buy food, and he expected big meals on the table when he got home. Now that she is sick, he refuses to take care of her. He still expects her to cook, clean, and take care of him. It got to the point that I had to quit my job and go to her house everyday (daylight till dark) to cook, clean, give her a bath, and everything else that goes with it, after she nearly burned the house down, and everyday I found feces all over her because he refused to help her clean up. I have explained to him in detail what he needs to be doing for her, but he just goes and lays in the bed and leaves her alone. Mom has hallucinations which is a part of the illness. About 6 months ago I get a call at 1 am. Its my mom. She was seeing "bugs crawling all over her and her house" she said, but its ok I got a knife and pokes plastic bags under the door and they cant come in now. I asked her to put her husband on the phone and she said he wouldnt get up. Then she said she had gotten into her medicine (which is supposed to be locked up) and taken something to calm her down. I got my shoes on and went flying over there, could hear her screaming from inside, had to break the door in and found her under a blanket on the floor hysterical. He was in bed. That night, I moved her into my house. Now my dilemma is that I know he needs to disappear from her life, but she still has days where she knows what is going on, and wants to he with her husband "because she loves him" I take her home for short visits usually 2 hrs or so, after she has been fed, bathed, meds and all that, AND only if she is having a good day. Now the latest thing has been that he has told her twice that she cant have anything to eat because he is saving it for himself. When she is there I know he goes to bed (that is where he stays) and makes her go with him. To be honest with you, and this is selfish of me, but I NEED A BREAK from her sometimes too. I dont know what to do? It isnt safe for her to be with him alone, but I cant even be in the same room with him for his own safety! It really isnt my decision to break up her marriage, and she gets angry with me if I am upset with him. Any help is appreciated.

My husband and I have lived in our home for a little more than 4 years with our 19 year old son. The day we moved in, my neighbor came down and introduced herself, bringing potted plants as a gift. That's where this all started. She calls literally 15 times everyday, if I don't answer the phone, she comes down and knocks on the door, and looks in the windows, If I don't let her in she goes back home and calls some more. Her husband died 6 months ago with leukemia, leaving her and a 6 year old son behind. I am a compassionate person, and have tried to be there for her, but I am being STALKED!!!! I have to drive past her house to get to mine, and before I can get my car in park, she is standing on my porch. She is at my house more than hers. Even when my husband is home from work, she is here. We have no private time together. I have tried talking to her about it, I even was trying to shower one day while she called 7 times, knocked at the door and went home called back twice (yes in the 15 Min's it takes to shower) I was pissed so I answered the phone screaming at her. So what does she do but come down 10 Min's later crying and begging for my forgiveness. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean to anyone, but I truly feel like Im being stalked, and forced to be her friend when truth is, I never really liked her from the start. I have tried to talk to her family to get support for her, suggested counseling, church. What to do???? She is literally driving me crazy! This didn't just start when her husband died. It has been going on the entire time Ive lived here. I have tried to be her friend, and help her thru the horrible things that have happened, but the more I try to help, the worse it gets. I have even told her not to call or visit at certain times, but she does anyway. I really DON'T want to hurt her feelings, but this has to stop.

My husband and I have lived in our home for a little more than 4 years with our 19 year old son. The day we moved in, my neighbor came down and introduced herself, bringing potted plants as a gift. That's where this all started. She calls literally 15 times everyday, if I don't answer the phone, she comes down and knocks on the door, and looks in the windows, If I don't let her in she goes back hope and calls some more. Her husband died 6 months ago with leukemia, leaving her and a 6 year old son behind. I am a compassionate person, and have tried to be there for her, but I am being STALKED!!!! I have to drive past her house to get to mine, and before I can get my car in park, she is standing on my porch. She is at my house more than hers. Even when my husband is home from work, she is here. We have no private time together. I have tried talking to her about it, I even was trying to shower one day while she called 7 times, knocked at the door and went home called back twice (yes in the 15 Min's it takes to shower) I was pissed so I answered the phone screaming at her. So what does she do but come down 10 Min's later crying and begging for my forgiveness. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean to anyone, but I truly feel like Im being stalked, and forced to be her friend when truth is, I never really liked her from the start. I have tried to talk to her family to get support for her, suggested counselling, church. What to do???? She is literally driving me crazy!

My husband and I have lived in our home for a little more than 4 years with our 19 year old son. The day we moved in, my neighbor came down and introduced herself, bringing potted plants as a gift. That's where this all started. She calls literally 15 times everyday, if I don't answer the phone, she comes down and knocks on the door, and looks in the windows, If I don't let her in she goes back hope and calls some more. Her husband died 6 months ago with leukemia, leaving her and a 6 year old son behind. I am a compassionate person, and have tried to be there for her, but I am being STALKED!!!! I have to drive past her house to get to mine, and before I can get my car in park, she is standing on my porch. She is at my house more than hers. Even when my husband is home from work, she is here. We have no private time together. I have tried talking to her about it, I even was trying to shower one day while she called 7 times, knocked at the door and went home called back twice (yes in the 15 Min's it takes to shower) I was pissed so I answered the phone screaming at her. So what does she do but come down 10 Min's later crying and begging for my forgiveness. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to be mean to anyone, but I truly feel like Im being stalked, and forced to be her friend when truth is, I never really liked her from the start. What to do????

Ok....so here is my story....

When I was 17, I met my soul mate. I have loved this man more than life itself since then. The problem is that when I was 19 and found out I was pregnant, He left me. He was never there at all for the first 3 years of our sons life. He was with another girl, raising her son who was 1 week older than our son. After 3 years, she left him and there was a DNA test which proved that he wasnt the father (I know...KHARMA!!!!) Anyway, after the 3 years past, he decided he wanted to be a part of our sons life. I had met my future husband, though I never "loved" him like I loved my ex, he was there for me and my son, and I was so hurt and angry that I would not allow him to be a part of our lives and would not allow him to see his son. I got married and stayed that way unhappily for 10 years. My husband was a very childish, selfish person who never had any dreams in life. To make a long story even longer. One day while I was in my office at work, My ex popped up on my yahoo messenger after 10 years of no contact whatsoever. I have always been in love with him, despite everything that he did to me and our son. So one thing led to another, and I ended up leaving my husband, my job and my home and moved 300 miles from home to be back with him. The point of this story is now that Im here (been here for 1 1/2 years now) His ex wife has become a huge problem. They have a 7 year old son together, but from what Ive been told they never could get along and were never living in the same house together for more than a few months at a time. So she is now pregnant with her 3rd kid by daddy # 3 the 2nd child has my husbands last name, and he is listed as the father on the birth certificate. Now I have been informed that kid # 3 is going to have his name and he will be listed as the father of this one too, and he is VERY upset with me because I refuse to let him go to the hospitial with her and hold her hand while she has this baby. She calls my house every day 2-3 times a day while I am at work and they talk for hours not about there son, but about her and how bad she needs him to be there for her. He gets furious with me because I get upset for her calling. I tried to explain to him that it hurts me, but that doesnt seem to matter. I had to run her off from my house a few months ago because I came home from work 5 or 6 times and she had been there all day with him while I was at work. I mean she had been there ALONE while the kids were at school. So last noght, he got drunk, and he is brutally honest when he drinks. He explained to me that he would always lover her and always be there for her no matter what. Now as a mother, I know that he should be there for his son, and I would never try to come between them, but as far as the other kids and thier mother....WHY????? Any advise????

54 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.

Additional Details

Thanks to all that gave HONEST advice. I love him very much, and we are very happy when she is not interfering. And BTW, There is no chance the new baby is his. She is for the lack of a better word, a loose lady and is pregnant by an abusive drunk who will never be there for her. She is just using my husband right now because she needs a place to live. We only hear from her when she is in CRISIS, but other times she never calls or lets him see his son. She is trying to move in with my mother in law and she asked him to move there with her. Its only because she is about to loose her home because she wont work and take care of herself (even when she isnt pregnant)

29 minutes ago

sorry somehow the first post got cutt off ????

Ok....so here is my story....

When I was 17, I met my soul mate. I have loved this man more than life itself since then. The problem is that when I was 19 and found out I was pregnant, He left me. He was never there at all for the first 3 years of our sons life. He was with another girl, raising her son who was 1 week older than our son. After 3 years, she left him and there was a DNA test which proved that he wasnt the father (I know...KHARMA!!!!) Anyway, after the 3 years past, he decided he wanted to be a part of our sons life. I had met my future husband, though I never "loved" him like I loved my ex, he was there for me and my son, and I was so hurt and angry that I would not allow him to be a part of our lives and would not allow him to see his son. I got married and stayed that way unhappily for 10 years. My husband was a very childish, selfish person who never had any dreams in life. To make a long story even longer. One day while I was in my office at work, My ex popped up on my yahoo messenger after 10 years of no contact whatsoever. I have always been in love with him, despite everything that he did to me and our son. So one thing led to another, and I ended up leaving my husband, my job and my home and moved 300 miles from home to be back with him. The point of this story is now that Im here (been here for 1 1/2 years now) His ex wife has become a huge problem. They have a 7 year old son together, but from what Ive been told they never could get along and were never living in the same house together for more than a few months at a time. So she is now pregnant with her 3rd kid by daddy # 3 the 2nd child has my husbands last name, and he is listed as the father on the birth certificate. Now I have been informed that kid # 3 is going to have his name and he will be listed as the father of this one too, and he is VERY upset with me because I refuse to let him go to the hospitial with her and hold her hand while she has this baby. She calls my house every day 2-3 times a day while I am at work and they talk for hours not about there son, but about her and how bad she needs him to be there for her. He gets furious with me because I get upset for her calling. I tried to explain to him that it hurts me, but that doesnt seem to matter. I had to run her off from my house a few months ago because I came home from work 5 or 6 times and she had been there all day with him while I was at work. I mean she had been there ALONE while the kids were at school. So last noght, he got drunk, and he is brutally honest when he drinks. He explained to me that he would always lover her and always be there for her no matter what. Now as a mother, I know that he should be there for his son, and I would never try to come between them, but as far as the other kids and thier mother....WHY????? Any advise????

Ok....so here is my story....

When I was 17, I met my soul mate. I have loved this man more than life itself since then. The problem is that when I was 19 and found out I was pregnant, He left me. He was never there at all for the first 3 years of our sons life. He was with another girl, raising her son who was 1 week older than our son. After 3 years, she left him and there was a DNA test which proved that he wasnt the father (I know...KHARMA!!!!) Anyway, after the 3 years past, he decided he wanted to be a part of our sons life. I had met my future husband, though I never "loved" him like I loved my ex, he was there for me and my son, and I was so hurt and angry that I would not allow him to be a part of our lives and would not allow him to see his son. I got married and stayed that way unhappily for 10 years. My husband was a very childish, selfish person who never had any dreams in life. To make a long story even longer. One day while I was in my office at work, My ex popped up on my yahoo messenger after 10 years of no contact whatsoever. I have always been in love with him, despite everything that he did to me and our son. So one thing led to another, and I ended up leaving my husband, my job and my home and moved 300 miles from home to be back with him. The point of this story is now that Im here (been here for 1 1/2 years now) His ex wife has become a huge problem. They have a 7 year old son together, but from what Ive been told they never could get along and were never living in the same house together for more than a few months at a time. So she is now pregnant with her 3rd kid by daddy # 3 the 2nd child has my husbands last name, and he is listed as the father on the birth certificate. Now I have been informed that kid # 3 is going to have his name and he will be listed as the father of this one too, and he is VERY upset with me because I refuse to let him go to the hospitial with her and hold her hand while she has this baby. She calls my house every day 2-3 times a day while I am at work and they talk for hours not about there son, but about her and how bad she needs him to be there for her. He gets furious with me because I get upset for her calling. I tried to explain to him that it hurts me, but that doesnt seem to matter. I had to run her off from my house a few months ago because I came home from work 5 or 6 times and she had been there all day with him while I was at work. I mean she had been there ALONE while the kids were at school. So last noght, he got drunk, and he is brutally honest when he drinks. He explained to me that he would always lover her and always be there for her no matter what. Now as a mother, I know that he should be there for his son, and I would never try to come between them, but as far as the other kids and thier mother....WHY????? Any advise????

Ok....so here is my story....

When I was 17, I met my soul mate. I have loved this man more than life itself since then. The problem is that when I was 19 and found out I was pregnant, He left me. He was never there at all for the first 3 years of our sons life. He was with another girl, raising her son who was 1 week older than our son. After 3 years, she left him and there was a DNA test which proved that he wasnt the father (I know...KHARMA!!!!) Anyway, after the 3 years past, he decided he wanted to be a part of our sons life. I had met my future husband, though I never "loved" him like I loved my ex, he was there for me and my son, and I was so hurt and angry that I would not allow him to be a part of our lives and would not allow him to see his son. I got married and stayed that way unhappily for 10 years. My husband was a very childish, selfish person who never had any dreams in life. To make a long story even longer. One day while