outremerknight

Its about 3 cm long

For UK answerers ONLY please.

A friend (yes, really it is a friend) has a holiday property in Turkey. He is a UK citizen and resident. The maintenance of the property is organised and looked after by a 'committee' of people who all own property in the complex.

Lately, the maintenance has not been carried out, security has been so lax that locals have been living in the apartments and have stolen items.

My friend has tried to raise the issue at committee meetings but he has been blocked, so in protest, until the situation improves, he has decided to withhold his 'maintenance payments'.

Can he do so legally? or might he get into trouble over it (he is actually looking forward to the 'committee' taking legal action so he can bring out the problems, there are other more serious ones too). Should he pay a small nominal amount?

Your many varied suggestions will be read avidly.

In work one day a blonde turns to her colleague and says " My boyfriend is coming over for dinner and I thought I would cook his favourite, a roast chicken. But how do you cook a chicken?"

Her friend says "Wrap in in tin-foil, put in an oven tray, put in

the oven at 350 for one and a half hours"

The blonde sits and looks at her for a moment then says "Thats no good, I don't get in from work until four thirty"

The other afternoon the teacher decided that all the children would talk about what their parents did for a living. There were the usual answers, secretary, policeman, shopkeeper, mechanic, van driver, but when it came to wee Billy he said, "My Da's a con man". The teacher gasped, as he went on, "My Da pretends to be a builder and goes around to old people and gets them to pay for roof repairs he doesn't do and they don't need."

At the end of the day the teacher asked Billy to stay behind. She asked him. "Is this true about your daddy?"

" No Miss" says Billy"

"But why did you say all that?" she asks.

" Well" says Billy, "he's really the goalie for Northern Ireland but I was too ashamed to say so"

I got a very threatening letter from a senior member of the local Royal British Legion (of which I am not a member). The contents threaten my life. I have gone to the top of the RBL and complained but they are doing nothing, not even investigating. I was hoping to keep the police out of the matter so that the RBL could keep their 'face' but should I now go to them?

I bought a car part from a seller on Ebay. He advertised it as a steering pump. I bought it as a steering pump. I am not a mechanic and bought it according to its description. But the mechanic who was to fit it says it is a (hydraulic?) steering rack. The seller is ignoring my emails to resolve this. I think he should take it back and refund all the money paid, including the exhorbitant amount he charged for sending it to me. What do others think?