lauryn

Mine are a tie between Hannah Hart, Tyler Oakley, and PAINT.

My weirdest dream was when I was eight. My house was invaded by angry penguins that wanted the cold in our fridge because the global warming made their home melt. Lol

I'm bisexual but more lesbian than straight. What do you identify as?

I am only 13, but I've always been quite concious of my body and weight. When I was 9 I got upset when I gained weight due to getting taller (even though it was normal for someone of my age.) I don't weigh myself because I don't want to see the numbers, but last time I checked my BMI is 18%. I have been tracking calories for four months, and for the past three I have been gradually restricting more every week. (My lowest was something around 450 calories). I exercise whenever I can, and I've purged a few times after eating an average sized meal. I am terrified of gaining weight, and I am trying to prevent that. My friends say I am very thin but I don't see it. I only see that I want to lose weight. I am scared that I will become out of control, but I can't stop. I am staring to eat more, but I still eat less than everyone else (under 1000 a day, and purging whenever I'm alone.)

So, do I have an eating disorder? If so, what kind? If necessary, how can I recover without gaining weight or feeling out of control?

(P.S I have self-damaging tendencies such as cutting and scratching, so it is vital that I do not feel out of control or I will only get worse.)