Know one

I'm a girl who has fallin in love with my best friend who is also a girl. Her behavior suggest that she feels the same way, but then she always claims she was joking. It's hard for me to get close to people. And i'm not sure if i'm in love with her, but what i do know is this is the most intense feeling i've ever had for someone. She is the most important person in my life. I don't know what to do but i think i'd rather just not have a relationshiip with her then constantly think about her, and want her in ways that i might not ever have. I also know i'm prone to throw people away. I've gone to over thrity different schoold in my life so i'm more then hard to get close to. You'd think i was more robotic then human. These feelings scare me.