Yoshihiro

Hi there.

I am a Japanese man who has lived in New Zealand for four years. I have worked as a railway signalling electrician and railway signal construction engineer, a hotel porter and a restaurant waiter. But now I want to do something else and the job must be where English skills are essential to do tasks. After having investigated myself, my decision is that doing media work is the best option.

I would like to take a course and classroom based one is the best, but I live in a Japanese city where there are not so many English speaking people, so it's impossible to find a course taught in English. I have researched about online media course taught in English, but couldn't find a sutable one.

Do you know any good online media course or someone I should contact to get more details about a potential course?

Thank you in advance.

Yoshi

Hi. I am a Japanese man and want to fulfil my goals including having good friends whom we can see regularly and dating a nice western woman.

My concern is that I often feel negatively if I have passion on something and work hard but other people don't admire or even talk to me - e.g. at a tennis club, I played tennis hard but no one admired me or talked to me, and subsequently I left the club because I didn't find any motivation. Tennis club's issue occurred a decade ago, but similar situation is happening in the voluntary work (I feel I am less likely to go back because other people are not interested in me). As for the voluntary work, I had to do as I had been required to apply for an Australian scholarship program. As I was not succeeded, there is no point to keep doing even if I wish helping people. I have been studying English hard, but fellow Japanese women tend not to pay attention to me (especially those who have no interest in English language or the western world), but many western women compliment me on my English skills.

As for dealing with Japanese people, I have to say that it causes due to different perception and because being different is not appropriate for Japanese people and they don't like Japanese people who have lived overseas (I've lived in New Zealand for more than 4 years with my own decision).

I am helpful, kind, friendly and loyal to others. I don't understand why many women (especially Japanese ones) don't see me positively as a potenial partner. I've heard that some women prefer to talk to blokes who have been already in a relationship - it's unfair for single men like me. Also I don't like seeing western guys who have a Japanese partner try to flirt with another Japanese woman. I have heard that many western guys living here in Japan had no luck with a woman in their country so they came to Japan to get a wife. I understand their frustration because I have never had the one (even I'm 40), but such behaviour is terrible. That's why I only want to date a western woman.

Sorry for having written too long to explain how I feel. But can you please give me advice how to keep motivated even if under the hard circumstances.

Thanks in advance :)

Yoshi

Hi. I'm a single Japanese bloke who is struggling to find a girlfriend. I will be 40 next month that I wish I wouldn't. I have lived in New Zealand for more than 4 years and due to my values and interests, I only want to date a western woman.

There are not so many western women in Sapporo, Japan. I googled where to meet white women in Sapporo, but I found no useful information. I think I might need to relocate myself to find the love. I would go back to New Zealand or start a fresh start in Australia. Where will be the best place to live for me?

Thanks!

PS I like All Blacks and follow Aussie Rules Football (barrack for St Kilda).

Hi. I am a 39-year-old Japanese bloke who has been having issues on mental mainly anxiety, depression for decades. Recently I have bought a CBT book.

I wonder if my negative believes of Japan are wrong or not. My thoughts, life values and opinions are much different to fellow Japanese people ones. I have lived in New Zealand for four years and feel much more comfortable living in NZ than in Japan. In the western world, people believe that individuals are different and they try to understand each other, but in Japan being different is much less appropriate.

I have never had a girlfriend. I believe that this circumstance exists because a) I have different characters to other Japanese people, and b) my social skills are not enough good. As long as I speak good English and have a strong desire to speak English, it’s absolutely possible for me to have a western girlfriend and I prefer to have such a woman. I perceive that a) many Japanese women who speak English want a western boyfriend because western blokes are nice and handsome, and b) Japanese women who have no interest in English or the western world want an ordinary Japanese boyfriend. I have seen many couples of western blokes and Japanese women, but the opposition is less seen. I feel I have difficulty in dealing with many Japanese women (especially who have no interest in English or the western world) and it’s easier for me to talk to western women than Japanese. If I say “I want to get married to a western woman” to Japanese people, they tend to object me. I think I should not worry about such rubbish comments, but I wonder if my thoughts about future girlfriend are impaired or not.

I believe that I have been struggling with getting a job here in Japan because I had worked in New Zealand on my decision. I have had proper works only for four months after I had had to leave New Zealand in October 2008. At job interviews Japanese employers criticise me for having left a railway signalling job (secured one in a famous company) and worked in New Zealand (saying negative comments). I was really shocked when it happened at a job interview for an English teaching position. Some people insisted me that I didn’t appeal well for reasons why I had lived in New Zealand, but I practised with the government employment agency for improving job interview skills. I heard that Japanese people who have lived overseas are more likely to struggle with getting a job for a Japanese organisation. Someone tells me that there should be a Japanese company who understands what I have done. But I disagree with this idea because if it’s true, I would not be criticised at job interviews. I believe that my strengths and talents, especially English skills, are more respected and appreciated in Australia and New Zealand so I have applied for a TAFE course in Perth and a scholarship program due to financial situation.

Also I feel that fellow Japanese people see my negative sides rather than positive sides as they point out my weaknesses more than compliment my strengths. When I was in New Zealand, people did the opposite. I am more likely to gain self-confidence in the western world rather than hatred Japan.

I perceive that my thoughts and opinions are disregarded in the Japanese community because I am much different to fellow Japanese people. When I have different opinions and thoughts with other Japanese people, I am always told (forced) to follow the major opinions and feel they don’t care my opinions or thoughts. I perceive that almost all of my opinions and thoughts are rejected. As I have been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, I am likely to be pointed out that I don’t compromise. But in my view, fellow Japanese people don’t compromise (seek the middle of both parties’ sides), but force the minority to accept all of major party’s opinions and thoughts. Consequently it’s easy for me to feel worthless. Also they don’t appreciate what is going outside the country or talking about overseas. I hate such Japanese culture which doesn’t accept individual’s difference or adopt anything about overseas.

Also I have been treated badly by Japanese psychiatrists and medical people who don’t listen to my feelings, but only prescribe medicines (they never offered me CBT or counselling sessions). When I have such feelings, I want others to understand why it happened by listening to my feelings. Then I say “I don’t trust Japanese psychiatrists” but other Japanese people object. It’s very hard to communicate with them due to cultural differences. I felt much more comfortable discussing with a counsellor (a Kiwi woman) while living in New Zealand.

I try to accept who I am even if I am under extremely hard life circumstances and to seek the better life which my strengths and talents contribute to reduce negative stress.

Thanks in advance.

Yoshi

Hi. Congratulations on being voted as world's most liveable city to Melbourne. I'm a Japanese bloke who has been to Australia but not Melbourne (sorry!) and loves Australia. I always compare my city (Sapporo) and Aussie cities. I mostly read the Age website to keep up Aussie news.

Do you think Melbourne tries to adopt other cities' positive side to build a better city? If not, what made Melbourne to be such a lovely city?

I am extremely sad that Japan doesn't appreciate to hear about overseas' positive sides. I assume that any Japanese city is never voted as a world's liveable one. I guess that the reason is because Japan used to trade only with Holland (the Netherlands), China and Korea (sakoku).

Thanks in advance :)

Yoshi

Hi. It's easy for me to get excited about sports. Recent days I have strong interests in Australian Rules Football. I have just watched a footy tipping video on the Age website and while the journalist gave us his tipping, I did thumb up or down as showing my opinion and tried not to make noise, but someone interrupted me and felt bad because I didn't think I did anything bad and I wanted to concentrate in English (my first language is not English and I am in the home country that I feel very sad!). Do you think it is okay / appropriate to show passion on sports? Recently I heard that Melburnians talk about footy (including injuries and tribunal) and join footy tipping competition at work, so why not me? Please express your opinions about sports. Thanks :) Yoshi

Hi. St Kilda Saints is my second favourite AFL club and I hope they are playing final season in September. I am sad that they were defeated by Collingwood on Saturday. I have just watched Front and Centre video on the Age website. Football journalists said that Saints would miss the final season in September. Do you think they will miss? I checked their draw and they are playing with Melbourne, Geelong and GWS. I hope they can be in the 8th in the home and away season. Thanks in advance :) Yoshi

Hi there. I am a 39-year-old Japanese guy who has lived in New Zealand for more than four years. My concern is about communication difficulties with fellow Japanese people. Last week, I tried to ask someone to grill onions when we had a barbeque, but he (59 or 60) didn't listen to my speech completely and just guessed what I wanted to say and replied that didn't reflected my question. Two days ago, I talked to a woman (I thought she was a friend, but now I try to take distance) on the phone and tried to tell her that it's better for me to work in Australia rather than here because I have been criticised at job interviews (they don't see my skills but comment negatively about overseas work experience). But she said that it was due to my lack of speech skills (I didn't tell the interviewer about my opinion of living overseas properly).

I have researched about communication difficulty on the Internet, but webpages are for listeners. I should not worry too much because I cannot change other people. But I wonder if there is any tip to cope with this issue.

I have been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome and it's hard for me to deal with fellow Japanese people because I am much different to other Japanese people. Another issue is that many Japanese people disrespect those (Japanese people) who have lived overseas on their own. That's why it's very hard for me to get a job here in Japan.

I have to admit that many Japanese people don't listen to me and then I got frustrated and I can't speak calmly to many people (but I don't behave aggresively to shop staff, etc). Do you think I should take Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or speech therapy or something else?

Japanese language is so complicated and many people speak lazily (omit words so that it's hard to understand), so I wish I can communicate in English more and more.

Thanks in advance.

Yoshi

Hi. I'm Japanse bloke who has lived in New Zealand for four years (working holiday, studying in hotel operations and services, and worked for hotels). But sadly I had to leave the country because I lost my last job and visa had been expired. Living overseas is likely to be inappropriate especially if people have left a secured job for a famous company, unless overseas work is due to Japanese company's transfer. I have been told to avoid talking about New Zealand and overseas work experience by fellow Japanese who is single-minded. After I had had to come back, I have been criticised at job interviews for having lived in NZ on my decision. I will not get invloved in a work for a Japanese company who contributes their job for Japanese people because I hate their intoralence for my overseas experience and think it's hard for me to get on with others. To fulfil my life, I am planning to move to Australia. And I think I should have a western girlfriend rather than a Japanese one because of cultural issues (but I would not say "I want a western girlfriend because I cannot have the Japanese one" - I like western women).

I would like to know how you think and/or feel about your home country after your overseas experience. Please feel free to express me. Thanks :) Yoshi

Hi. I'm a Japanese bloke who is interested in Aussie culture and AFL. I have been curious about popularity division between AFL and NRL since I had read the news article how Melbourne's the Age newspaper reported about NRL's State of Origin held in Melbourne. I have just checked AFL history and heard that Aussie Rules Football was established in Victoria and then speard to then other colonies including New Zealand. However the sport code was declined in NSW and Queensland. One of the reasons is interstate rivality. Does it mean Sydney didn't like Aussie Rules Football because Sydneysiders didn't like Melbourne? Also how does it (interstate rivality) affect the popularity of AFL nowadays? Thanks :) Yoshi

Hi. I'm a Japanese guy who has lived in New Zealand for more than 4 years that I am proud of. My concern has been that it's hard to ignore / discard negative comments made by others including criticise. For example, "why did you leave the secured railway job to move to New Zealand?" at a job interview in Japan (after coming back from NZ that I didn't wish to). Also I feel many fellow Japanese people don't see my positive sides, but they point out my different behaviours and etc. I have been working with a self-help book written by an American life coach that is good. Today he advises us to make a good decision for better life. It indicates that it's my responsibility to take negative psrsonal comments or discard. I want to throw away this kind of stuff and gain self-esteem. I have just researched on Google, but I didn't get the right answer. Can you please tell me the best way to cope with this issue? Thanks :) Yoshi

PS If your advice is negative one (hurting my feeling), I straight away report an abuse.

Hi, I'm a Japanese guy who lives in Northern part of the country. Recently it is about 16C (about 60F) to 20C (80F) outside in the daytime. I'm doing a small work at a place where adults who having mental issues are working (I have the one, but not severe. I can communicate with westerners easy but not much with fellow Japanese). Other people especially women feel cold, so the room is heated (by a heater, not an air-conditioner). It's easy for me to feel hot. I have told staffers how I felt, but they just only reject my issues. I can't believe they use a heater when it's about 20C outside. I am afraid I will get heat stress soon. I wonder if how people generally feel about the temperature. I understand that people are different and feel differently for the temperature. Can you please tell me how you feel about temperature (for example, it's easy for me to feel hot. I feel hot at 15C)? Thanks :) Yoshi

Hi there. I'm a 39-year-old Japanese guy and have never had a girlfriend. I had a small chances to meet girls between age of 18 and 30 because of the environment (fellow students were guys at university and colleagues are men at a railway company). I joined tennis clubs and went to an English language school, but there was no luck. I tried to open the door wide to get more opportunities, but it didn't work. I lived in New Zealand between 2004 and 2008. It was easier to chat with women there than here, but no luck with having a girlfriend. I have adopted western culture including hugs that we don't do, and love the culture. I have strong interests in western stuffs (including sports and music) and English language, but nothing for Japanese stuff. I watch Australian and New Zealand news, but don't watch Japanese news. I have nothing to talk to many fellow Japanese people. I feel uncomfortable living in Japan, so I hope my plan to study in Australia works out. I would like to go out with a western woman because I like western women and have more common things to talk and share (than with Japanese people). I have a strong hope finding a partner in Australia. Ladies, what would you advise me? Is it my fault for not having an experience being a relationship? Thanks. Yoshi

Hi there. I am a 39-year-old Japanese bloke (curretnly in Japan) and have never had a girlfriend. I have lived in New Zealand for four years (work and study) and adopted western culture. I feel more comfortable living in NZ than here in Japan, and I hope my plan to take a course in Australia works out. Also I have a strong passion on speaking English, so I would like to have a western girlfriend. My concern is how women think about me as I have never had a girlfriend and try to the one from different 'culture'. Now I don't have so many problems chatting with western women, but it's hard for me to talk to fellow Japanese people because I am much different to them and have nearly nothing to talk as I love western stuffs including music and sports (I am a big fan of AFL). Can you please express your opinions? Thanks. Yoshi