wildchild

I am tired of trying to end it. I have several unsuccessful attempts and want to make sure this one works. The rope broke, the gun jammed, and my car is broke down so no carbon monoxide. Serious answers only please

My ex walked out on me and our oldest son (10 now 13). She took our youngest son (now 4) with her. She was pregnant with the other man's baby when she left. Basically, she has abandoned our oldest son as he feels anger, rejection, and bitterness towards her through this. Our oldest son lives with me all the time and our youngest son is home every other week for the entire week. Consequently, the ex blames me for the sad situation of her relationship with our son. She was ordered by the court to attend counseling and meet him in a neutral place, and she did neither. Now our son will not speak to her or even acknowledge her. I still keep him involved with her side of the family as it is important for him to have that relationship with them as well. I am constantly commended by his counselor for how well I have handled this situation. I do not nor will I use our children as a method of revenge to her. I guess the best revenge is that she is living with a no working no child support paying alcohol drinking ex-probationer with drug issues and now she has a 2 yr old of his to deal with. She has to work now as she was able to be a stay at home mom with me.

The problem is now that me and our 4 yr old are getting close I am finding that I am competing with the other man for my son. I feel I should not have to compete with anybody for any of our children and I simply do not know what to do. As I am stuck with all the finances I do not have a lot of extra funds to do a lot with our son. Can anybody tell me if they had to experience anything like this and how did they handle it. It is really causing me a great deal emotionally as I am a good dad and I love my children dearly. Should I igore it and accept it or should I find a nice dark alley and take care of business??

Does anyone know where the vacuum lines are to this engine as I believe I possibly have a vacuum leak somewhere causing my engine not to run as smooth as it should.

This has been the most difficult time of life. I know divorce is inevitable but how do I get my normal happy self back. I have been an emotional wreck since she walked out on me and our oldest son. She was pregnant with her boyfriends baby, and has no contact with our oldest son. This has been going on for over two yrs now. Financially I do not have the funds to divorce since I handle the bills the kids needs and everything. It still hurts and I cannot seem to forget her and her selfish a$$ and move on. How do you all get yourselves back?