Sam

Here it goes, I'm in pain always. This is by far the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I can't access my emotions whether how hard I try. This isn't a bad feeling, this is pure plain suffering which i didn't think was possible. I feel like crying everyday and nothing gives me belief, I have been like this for the last 2-3 year, it feels like my mind wants me dead by creating false scenarios and forcing me to believe them. Nothing has changed where how hard I try. I mask these horrendous feelings with a smile but inside I'm dying, i never thought it was possible to feel this much pain, pain that never goes away traumaization painful chest, blocking me from living a happy and care free life, i dont want to kill myself but i can't live like this for much longer. It feels like my mind is frozen and has zero activity. I just want to feel normal again. Ive tried some anti-anxiety meds which have helped a bit and sertaline. The pain never fully goes away.

Today, my friend who is 19 (the same age as me), passed his driving test. This caused me suicidal thoughts and obsessional thoughts about me never be able to drive in my life and my friends laughing at me for being so incompetent. I felt feelings of embarrassment, trauma, major jeously and shame of which I had no control of. It was like a sudden natural response from my brain. That evening I was really quiet with my family because I

really wanted to kill myself, as i couldn't escape these obsessional thoughts, I felt nothing but pain in my chest. I can't detach these feelings form rational thinking because logically I came close to taking my driving test but Uni got in the way and so did my anxiety and depression, logically i shouldn't be so hard on myself but my brain/mind made feel so **** i swear to god. This could just be generalised anxiety disorder but I dont know and I just need.

thank you xx

My mind is numb. I feel nothing but sometimes pain. I don't feel emotions the way I used to be able to feel them. I have forgotten what happiness feels like, even normal emotions like depression. It feels like my mind hates me, it only reminds me of strange things I have done in the past, which makes me feel awful. I have a loving family and if I were to end my life, it would devastate my family. I am running out of mental strength and its just a constant battle that I lose. My not positive or negative but Im a REALIST. I logically can't see myself form getting better and Im finding it out hard to accept my position and mental state. Im a good person and have rarely done anything to upset the people that I love. I want to get a brain scan and I want to find out about more medications to treat my condition rather than anti-depressants.

Thank you

God bless

Sam

I'm currently 19. A few years ago, I experience a large amount of shame, guilt, trauma and embarrassment from this memory when I was 14 years old. The memory itself is a bit embarassing but when I experienced sudden shame, guilt, trauma and embarrassment, it was from the people who i told the memory to at school. So, I never thought of the memory itself but just an extreme reaction of what my friends thought of it at the time. Do guys suggest any self help books/tapes to help me cope?

I'm currently 19. A few years ago, I experience a large amount of shame, guilt, trauma and embarrassment from this memory when I was 14 years old. The memory itself is a bit embarassing but when I experienced sudden shame, guilt, trauma and embarrassment, it was from the people who i told the memory to at school. So, I never thought of the memory itself but just an extreme reaction of what my friends thought of it at the time. Do guys suggest any self help books/tapes to help me cope?

https://www.flickr.com/photos/146192995@N04/?

Here are my vids that Ive uploaded

https://hotornot.com/profile/0557995830

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCc9fHZ2KLJxpT5gJh...

so far, i haven't been able to sleep for 2 nights in a row. i've probably had like 4 hours sleep in total.

Around 6 months ago, it was the last day of school, and there was a ball where all the pupils were invited to. The ball was going fine, around 3 hours in everyone was starting to get a bit drunk, and there was a lot of people there. i was hanging out with my friend and his other female friend who i have never really spoken to before. She may of been a bit drunk but my friend and his female friend were talking and then i just remember her talking to me and saying "i can't believe we were never in a class together", "like do you even speak"?, these words kinda broke. I was always none to be very quiet and self consciousness, as i was kinda bullied for my personality and the way i looked. Anyway, today, i have just felt a sudden realisation of wanting to tell her, that its not like i chose not to speak but its because i have been made to feel so **** about myself and that I'm only just learning who am i now. I know this very random and i don't want her to think I'm over emotional or weird or anything, i just want to let her, then at the core of my personality and I'm a nice guy but i have just been a bit mentally damaged. Anyway, the last thing i want is to put her in an awkward position

and telling her to feel sorry for me, i don't want that..

what do you guys think i should do???

Thank you so much for answering.

I'm writing a critical appraisal on film director Quentin Tarratino... this is one of the paragraphs..

However, this argument links to post modernism, which was this development in late 20th century of media, arts and style that harkened back to earlier periods in cinema, which can result in a combination of different genres. This is perfectly summed up by Dylan Polan, who says post modernism is a “culture of surfaces”, where the content is “so intense that it substitutes for all concern with deep meaning” (Cavallero, JJ, 2011, pg 77). I think this means that films made in post modernism period were paying homage to stereotypes in old socialist culture., which can explain why there is’nt a great deal of depth behind the surface. This theory can relate to Tarrantino, especially in the film “Django Unchained”, where not only is there exaggerated violence but it involves a combination of genres, most notably its referred as a spaghetti western, which is a genre that has been present and popular throughout the 1960’s, and in 2013 Tarratino brought it back with hyper violence in “Django Unchained”, and gave it a more modernized look, especially with the music choice to back up what was happening on screen. Perhaps the violence in his films is just an exaggerated look at post modernism.

Thanks

i know from a technical standpoint marvel films are better, however, i just prefer dc because there much darker and haven't got that annoying humour that marvel has. also, is it me but are most marvel films nowadays feel the same in the way they are made, it just gets a bit repetitive...

i don't know, i really liked civil war but i also enjoyed batman vs superman. its just nice to see a much darker and realistic take on batman and superman.

what do y'all think??

this film got a lot of hate, i thought some of it was a bit unjust,

i liked the film but it could of been better

i heard that the ultimate edition is better..

what do y'all think