Tripp Me

Conformity,

botched surgery

on a chaotically beautiful mind.

stops its wandering

disables its wit

and sharp shame pangs

caused by a cruel throng

stab their way into thought

and force once unique abstract reasoning

into dull darkness

where its locked away

and withers with age

wanting light in forms of

intuition and uncommon understanding

and the longer it strains

towards its former self

only to starve

the more bleak

the future becomes

Oh, for the thrill of want

my suffering needs wait.

All of my thoughts carefully discarded,

replaced by abstract abysmal strain.

The eye wants this miss-perception

A self inflicted deception.

More time might do the trick,

but I'm all burnt out of second guesses.

Weary from restraining intuition

choking on every single bit of wit.

i walk each day detached, and delusional

don't be concerned my actions are usual

i live deep in my head with shadows and light

sometimes you can glimpse them in my wandering eyes

a daydreamers lament, so subtle and low

formed from the thoughts ripped out of the flow

and you wonder why i never have anything to say

these gently calm eyes,

are now hid behind a scornful facade.

their once beguiling smile

is unrecognizable now behind the hate

and i have felt no greater affliction

since the moment I troubled those beautiful wandering eyes

I've known from the first glimpse

I'd give my heart for their smile

and its brought us both nothing but pain

liquid lucid memories

repetition with no reason

melodic mayhem with no rhyme

I'll have an eye if i can take it

and no one needs to know why

life is better if you fake it

don't trust me I wouldn't lie

its starting to show change.....

and i can see

why I'm blind

deceiving thoughts

got me again

i want to feel green,

yellow yet blue.

green like the trees,

and so many plants.

ahh, to be green.

instead i feel white

blank and clean

almost profoundly stupid

like when my lines are empty

while writing to you

i want to live in black.

where no one can see.

all the colors mixed.

black calms me.

like kittens or my tank

my thoughts are usually red

with passionate anger

like when i have to use punctuation

but in the end who cares

im white

so blank

ahhh to be green....

slipping shifting shapes

contort they're way into my brain

fodder for a dark daydreamer's lament

whispered shadows

play across the screen like mind

forcing me to acknowledge fear

deception

caused by thoughts im not safe from

paining and straining my subconscious

forcing it to cope at night

with flying dreams

and an uncanny absence of nightmares

still i dream day and night

still i grit my teeth

with my eyes closed in silent anticipation

hey dude

don't make it bad

said where you goin

with that gun in yo hand

take a look at the new rising sun

and say "hey baby,

we don't have to breed"

its sunday morning you need

great golden exaggerations

got no sugar last night

and you're not hearing her faded line

and you're tired of her tryin to find your label

when your going north to chicago

to visit that god damn pusher man

to put that spike into your vein

stuck in a denial twist

wondering if we are gonna be friends

now your sitting at a bar

wondering why your so hollow

asking "why should i turn out the lights

when the musics over"

why darken your white room

with black curtains

and bring yourself face to face

with a rusty cage

the truth is i could care less

but you know you're right

creeping slowly below perception

leaving you to want and question

teaching you a subtle lesson

ill be your trusty smith and wesson

inside this dark psychiatrist's session

fueling all your hateful aggression

i leave you with this confession

i am self doubt

a needed kneaded eraser

for my drawing like life

why do the mistakes

seem to show through the beauty

always

always making me re draw

and re think

beautiful curves

and sharp dramatic lines

never seem to hide

my all consuming mistakes

so my much needed

kneaded eraser

makes every part i don't like

a memory

a lead smudge

on life's cluttered paper

faded lines

still seen by dead drunk eyes

conformity,

botched surgery

on a chaotically beautiful mind.

stops its wandering

disabling wit

and sharp shame pangs

cause by a cruel throng

stab their way into thought

and force once unique abstract reasoning

into dull darkness

where its locked away

and withers with age

wanting light in forms of

intuition and uncommon understanding

and the longer it strains

towards its former self

only to starve

the more bleak

the future becomes

conformity,

botched surgery

on a chaotically beautiful mind.

stops its wandering

disabling wit

and sharp shame pangs

cause by a cruel throng

stab their way into thought

and force once unique abstract reasoning

into dull darkness

where its locked away

and withers with age

wanting light in forms of

intuition and uncommon understanding

and the longer it strains

towards its former self

only to starve

the more bleak

the future becomes

i walk along in a total daze

my thoughts don't make sense

and it worries me that im losing

what was once a strong foothold on reality

so i stop and i sit

in reflective pools of thought

its dark with my eyes shut

which somehow surprises me

car headlights should so bright

as they dance their way across my eyelids

my feet dangle and i can feel the soft touch of wind

there should be many noises

but my mind ignores the existence of sound

right now my world is perennial

right now my seamless thoughts

seem to rule over my limited reality

im not safe from these thoughts

and they put me into a trance

forgetting where i am

im suddenly falling

and suddenly ear shattering noise

breaks my minds silence

car horns and headlights are my new life

and whether i slipped or jumped

is all up to the mortician and police

to decide

once again my stupid hands and silly mind

have found me with blank lines

white and clean the paper screams

write something!!

so again my flow is forced

by over thought nonsensical words

that seem good at the time

but when reread don't quite rhyme

and once again im forced to end

because of the pressure of the pen

and even though

ive butchered flow

and even when

my beginnings end

i give

welll i have the cam but i dont have the disk that the software for the cam is on...and i was wondering if there is a way to get the software without having the disk...its an ezonics cam...im not quite sure what model it is though

i sit in reflective silence

in reflective pools of thought

with stars above and mirrored below

pondering to edges and barriers of reason

once known but lost are barriers of reason

i have to know the limits

to make sure i dont pass them by

but here my world is perennial

here seamless imagination rules over reality

in my pools of thought

where im terrified from time to time

by the scope and dark shades of thinking

its funny to think that im not safe from my own thoughts

but its a horrible reality

reality

overrated

and necessary

best one gets 10...make it about how you think...or whatever

i want to feel green;

yellow yet blue.

green like the trees,

and so many plants.

ahh, to be green.

instead i feel white

blank and clean

almost stupid

like when my lines are empty

writing to you

i want to live in black.

where no one can see.

all the colors mixed.

black calms me.

like kittens, or my tank.

thoughts turn to red

and passionate anger

like when i have to use punctuation

but who cares

im white

so blank

ahhh to be green....

when all is lost and broken

when there are no words to be spoken

when you can not follow what you've chosen

don't you worry cause ill be there

with a grin thats sure to tear

made to leave you cold and bare

and while I laugh, smirk, and leer

I'll expose your inner fear

and so i creep below perception

leaving you to want and question

all your hopes and all your dreams

sometimes its easier it seems

to give it all up and let me in

I'm the darkness, I'm your friend

i sit in reflective silence

in reflective pools of thought

with stars above and mirrored below

pondering to edges and barriers of reason

once known but lost are barriers of reason

i have to know the limits

to make sure i dont pass them by

but here my world is perennial

here seamless imagination rules over reality

in my pools of thought

where im terrified from time to time

by the scope and dark shades of thinking

its funny to think that im not safe from my own thoughts

but its a horrible reality

reality

overrated

and necessary

ladies and gentlemen please gather round

the show is about to begin, the time has come right now

its time to divert your attention inward

lets see if we can find some pain

you sit right there and play your part

I’ll be the cloud that pours down rain

I cater to the lost, broken hearted fools

I’ll help you search the depths of thought

through those darkened pools…

make sure that your calm and quiet

or this next part might be a task

let your anger, love, and hatred run a riot

just don't hurt yourselves that’s all I ask

I am nothing but a friend

use me if you need

I'll help you find the means to your end

you choose the path, then I'll take the lead

don't shut me out

don't close the door

I'm trying to show you what life's about

something more than what is more

next time that your feeling cheerless

just drop on by

and I don’t think you’ll even hear this

but you are worth my time.