?

I just found out some great news, Conservatives!

It seems that the good folks in the grand ol' state of

Tennessee have elected a Republican Governor and

now have also managed to elect a Republican supermajority

in both chambers of the Legislature!

Now, we've known for years that the only thing holding this

country back is those damned "Lib-rulls", right? So now we

can look forward to Tennessee becoming a shining light for

the nation! A state that has consistently underperformed in

education and income and has been a veritable sponge for

Government funds (particularly in the eastern third of the

state where the Tennessee Valley Authority has swelled

the local economy), will now soar to the top of the country

in every category that counts, right? Tennessee will soon

be able to refuse any federal aid whatsoever now that the

GOP is in control!

What do you want to bet me that happens, Conservatives,

Republicans?

What do you want to bet that now that those pesky Democrats

are out of the way, the state will rise above the others and prove

the efficiency, the "rightness", of the GOP?

And can we also expect, now that "God's party" is in control,

that all natural disasters will cease to exist in Tennessee,

now that God may lay His hands on the state without dirtying

them on the nasty "Demoncrats"?

Think it'll happen?

Really?

On everything. No exemptions. All proceeds go straight to paying down the

deficit.

There has to be a reason this hasn't passed. I'm stupid, so enlighten me.

Why won't this work?

Since all us gun-wieldin', Christ-fearin' Conservative Republican believes in his

lilly-white heart of hearts that Obama MUST be an A-rab lovin'/xenophile/foreign-born

hater-of-America/socialist/Muzzlim, I DEMAND (in all caps, mind-you!) that

a record of his bowel movements be submitted for the world to see.

There is no way, no way possible that...that..."black man" can tell me what to do. He is in no way smarter than me, no-sir. He is in no way more successful than me.

There is no way a man who looks like him and has a name like Barack Hussein Obama can be American. He don't look like me. He can't be better'n me.

I am positive that his excrement will reveal that he eats aborted babies for breakfast.

When will his stool be made available?

...entire games are set up on principles of violence (m-u-r-d-e-r and/or assault and/or theft and/or vandalism, etc.) and it is perfectly acceptable, but we never see other crimes like r@pe and/or child abuse and/or spousal abuse?

What makes some crimes (even heinous ones) acceptable and others, not so? Why is it ok to see a man m-u-r-d-e-r a woman with any assortment of weaponry, but not okay to see him r@pe her?

(And please understand that I am not advocating the depiction of violence to women in any form in real life, video games, movies, television, print, etc; it is a terrible, terrible thing; I am simply curious as to why society has agreed it is okay to label certain crimes --despite their gruesomeness-- as acceptable forms of entertainment, but label arguably lesser ones as inappropriate).

(And I apologize for the unsual appearance of some words in my question, but it seems the Yahoo censor machine won't display my questions without these alterations),

The family and I are attending a Cirque Du Soleil performance. Should one dress up a little bit for Cirque, or is it a casual venue?

I attended a performance of Cirque du Soleil in Vegas several years ago, and because I was with my boss, I kind of dressed up a bit for it. There's no boss this time, though, and so I was wondering if, say, a pair of jeans, a short-sleeved collared shirt, and a pair of brown loafers would be appropriate.

Probably a silly question (wouldn't be my first, won't be my last).

:-)

I have a ten-year-old mattress that has finally gotten too soft to be comfortable.

I need a new mattress that is medium-firm (putting a piece of plywood under the old mattress no longer works; my back is starting to feel bad in the morning).

I have tried out a Sealy at a local store, and it felt really nice, but I don't want to rush out and plunk down $1200 or more on a new one without finding out which brands other folks like.

Which brand(s) have worked well for you, and why?

I've been married for just over twenty years. Early in our marriage my wife and I went through

a bad time, separated, and she ended up having a serious relationship with my best friend.

Once she and I reconciled, my best and friend and I have had no contact. Recently, she

expressed interest in calling him "just to catch up" (she found a photo on his Facebook

page in which she saw a gift she had bought for him way back then, and she thinks he

might have placed it there as a way to "say hi"). I know it's been a long time, but her interest

made me feel uncomfortable. Am I being unreasonable? Things are great between the

wife and I now. We have children, and my ex-best friend has also married and has children.

Am I being a doof, or should I be concerned? She tells me she won't call if I don't want her

to, but I don't want to forbid her to call if doing so is wrong. Help?