Butterfly madness

My ex and I have been having issues for 2 years. When we were friends and dating he did not act like a boyfriend. He did not act like a friend. He acted like an enemy. He called me names instead such as wh***, female dog and H**. People asked me why I still spoke to him and why I still dated him. My response was that I thought he was going to change since we're adults. I called him names back and even sent him 2 long text messages to cuss him out. I don't normally date a guy a year younger. I tried it with him for 2 years on and off. He was more imature than I thought. He gave a guy I didn't know my number. He was probably a friend or a relative of his. I don't know. The guy refused to give me his name. The conversation got very ugly. He called me names my ex called me. I defended myself by hanging up in his face, yelling at him and then blocked him. Before my ex blocked me which was the day after he broke up with me in February he called me names. So I cannot call or text him. The last time I got to talk to him over the phone it was on a different number. He told me not to call him again and hung up in my face. He told my friend yesterday that we had a falling out and he doesn't know if he wants to talk to me again. I am so angry and hurt at this whole situation that I want to call to give him a voicemail telling him how I feel so I won't feel hurt anymore. I wish I never met him. Will he receive the voicemail? Again I am blocked.

My friend tells me about his problems about men all the time. He would go online and meet men in person. I am a type of friend who gave him advice/my opinions about his man situations. When I use to tell him about guys I met in the passed he would just apologize.. 1 guy who he met put on Facebook threatening to kill him. That's what him and my other friend told me I guess he was so mad at his ex bf that he wanted me to talk to him over the phone. When I spoke to his ex on the phone my friend video tapped the phone call and told people I pranked call him. I was protecting my identity because I didn't want to be threatened or fear for my life. Since my ex hurted me, called me names, blocked me and had 1 of his friends or relatives to call me to call me names such as "pu**y a$$ female dog, pu**y a$$ H**, ect over the phone I was hurt by it. I was being harrassed by whoever that was. I didn't press charges because I didn't want my parents to be involved and yell at me because I don't tell them different things and who I'm with and stuff. I wanted my friend to step up for me by having a conversation with my ex and then tell him that I hope we can make peace with each other. Again my ex blocked me after calling me names. I am still hurt by that. I tried to step up for myself though. My friend didn't want to help me with that after I stepped up for him. So I told him not to tell me about his man problems and not to ask me for anything.

My family and I are traveling to Chicago this summer. I bring my portable charger everywhere such as school, malls, movie theaters, restaurants, ect. You name it. My portable charger is square and a little big. I use it so my phone doesn t die. i asked my dad about it. He thinks I can t bring it with me because someone might think it s a bomb or something when it s not. It s just a portable charger.

I am not a type of person who eats burgers. I haven t ate a burger in years. The 1st time I ate 1 I was like 8 when I use to stay with my grandparents. It came in the happy meals. I didn t like it. Ever since then I haven t had 1 since. I am a little fat and trying my best to lose weight but I am blessed that I am not over 200 ib. I never been 200 ib or over. I always been 100 something pounds. Everytime my family and I go to restaurants I would never ask for a burger. It would be sandwhiches, pizza, quesodilla or pasta. Every time I go to the doctors and look at my weight I would get a wake up call. Saying to myself "damn I m getting big" My friend agreed with my mom that pizza is much more fatning than burgers. I was trying to tell them as much as my parents and I use to eat which was pizza, Mcdonalds and Nations. Imagine eating burgers as much as you eat those kinds of foods. I know either way you would gain weight. I think if you eat burgers every week then you would be as big as 300 ib or over. When I ate pizza it was no more than 3 or 4 slices That s still a lot. I always thought eating burgers is the main food that causes duabetes. Am I wrong?

Can eating burgers cause diabetes more than any other food?

I had my bike since last February of 2018 I believe. It was fine until it started squeeking. I heard about using some kind of spray but the people who told me won't tell me the name of it or where to get it from. They would say they forgot or they just don't know. I haven't rode my bike since last month. I'm not riding it again untll I can fix the squeaking noice.

I decided to put gas in my car on my own for the very 1st time tomorrow. I normally depend on my mom to do it since I had a very awful experience with putting gas in my car. Back in 2017 I had my eyes dialated. My dad had me to put gas in the car after my eye apointment. At that time I only had my permit. I had no clue what I was doing. My mom and aunt thinks the gas tank or whetever was broken. Whatever I did gas went everywhere. incliding in my left eye. I had to go to the doctors. Ever since then I refused to put gas in my car. Months later I gotten my license. Since Saturday my mom has been in pain so she isn't driving for now. My doctor's apointment Thursday is like 10 minutes away. My apointment was supposed to be last week when I already had gas in my car but it was cancelled since my doctor for my lump wasn't going to be in that day. I watched a couple of videos about how to put gas in a car. Some people told me they think it is silly that I drive at all because I never put gas in my car. Well I have to go places like school and other places. I always tell them that I know some people who doesn't even drive at all. My nest friend and ex bf doesn't even have a license. 1 of them jave to ride a bike to work every day.

Yes I need to learn because it's very important but I wish I had someone to come with me so if gas goes eveywhere again I would have help.

I know it takes time to lose weight. I know a lot of people who are small. Everybody is different. My parents and I argue about weight a lot. I hate it when my mom conpares me to other people. She would say that my cousin and her parents are small. My 2 friends who lost weight over the years are small and my mom wants me to ask them how they lost weight. They use to be big years ago but they lost it. 1st of all my parents come home with cake almost every night. Not that I need ir. My dad comes home with soda sometimes. We just celebrated my auntie's birthday Saturday at a restaurant. My parents just bought 2 pizzas and soda 2 different days I am a little over weighted. I am around 180 something pounds. I wanted pasta today but my dad told me to buy a salad instead. Once again they had a cake. Just like I told my aunt 1 thing I do is wait until I am ready to lose weight. I can't do it if my family and I just ate at a restaurant. my parents eating cake and cookes after dinner almost every night, or if my parents buy pizza and soda sometimes. Know what I'm saying? Sojetines I do try to to lose weight by working out daily, eating oatmeal in the morning and eating salads gor lunch Just because I am not trying to lose weight now doesn't mean I won't next month, in a couple months or next year.

I have problems with a lot of people. All kind of ages. People my age, younger, a lot older, a little younger and a lot younger. I argue with my friends sometimes. I even argued with 1 of my friend's mom for talking about me from what I was told and she denied. We eventually talked it out. For a long time my friends and family told me to leave some people alone. I told them how my friend's parents talked about me according to my friend, students at school picked on me, people I thought were my friends but they talked behind my back, ect. I tried my best to ignore them but as time went on I decided to take things into my own hands. I called 1 girl I was friends with. she denied talking about me until I screen shot what my friend told me about her and sent it to her. She then admitted to it and apologized. I feel better after that. I spoke to another girl who I just became friends with again. We talked it out. I feel better now. So when things bother me I talk to people about it. 2 women who I went to school with I have no contact with them so their is nothing I can do about it. Now I understand why I was told to leave some people alone which is to prevent much bigger problems from starting. I just didn't want to keep thinking about things that happened years ago if that makes since. When I have problems with my parents I talk it out. Do you agree with me? What do you think I should do in the future?

I’ve been driving on my own since May of last year. I got my Drivers license November of 2017. It took a long time for my parents to allow me to drive on my own. People kept asking me if I gotten a car. For months I had to say “no” because my parents refused to allow me to drive on my own. Some how I was able to drive by myself without them in the car. I have a sticker on the back of my car that has the expiration date which is this year. How can I get a new sticker in the back of my car so I won’t get a ticket? 1 person told me I have to pay at a DMV. My boyfriend told me something about a smog and to go to a Smog shop. I’m confused. This is my very 1st time doing this.

For a long time (months) I went to McDonald's to eat. My mom would have me to go there for my little brother on Mondays. Tuesdays and Thursdays before his teacher comes for his behavior those days. When I buy his food I would eaither buy a salad on days I want to lose weight or sandwiches, fries and a drink. Sometimes with a cookie. I still work out sometimes. Everytime I buy my food they would literally smell like perfume. Yesterday I went to McDonald's. My cookies which were in a box smelled like lipstick. My soda had such a strong perfume oder I thought I was going to throw up. I was thinking about calling McDonald's to tell them about it or go to a different McDonald's. I remember when that 1st happened. I use to buy the breakfast. It had such a strong oder. My mom thought I was the one wearing it. Do people really take food like that back due to food smelling like perfume?

My boyfriend and I are back together. We didn't talk for several months. Maybe a year. Ever since we got back together he told me he takes a total of 5 classes and have 2 jobs. Months before we got back together he only went to school taking 4 classes. He wasn't working back then. Now that we're back together he's been busy. At least that's what he said. Like I told him before my friend takes the same amount of classes as him and work. She still spends time with her boyfriend. Her boyfriend doesn't even drive, have a job nor go to school. He takes bart, busses and catch rides to her house. Like I told my boyfriend I'm not saying I want to do that but ever since he went back to school we haven't been hanging out. Valentines Day is next week. We were supposed to see each other to trade Valentines day gifts Sunday but he said he hasn't had time to study and stuff. According to his college website he has a 4 day weekend next week which is after Valentine's day so I am hoping I can see him 1 of those 4 days. I only checked because I had a feeling he had 4 days off. No I wasn't trying to stock him. Lastly if we don't see each other after Valentine's day during his 4 day weekend then I'm not even going to contact him for a while. I'm not mad because of him beinging really busy but we should at least see each other once a month until school is over. I'm having so many problems with my eyes so I'm off until my my doctor says I can go back and of course until my eyes are better.

Yes I wash my hands after and wear gloves while I have her baths. Starting in high school back in 2014 or 2015 I washed my dog. I washed her in middle school too but at that time I didn’t have pink eyes. When I started washing my dog in high school in senior year that’s when I started getting them. The 1st time I had it my mom noticed my eyes or 1 of my eyes were red. She thought it was a pink eye but I didn’t think that until I seen discharge and stuff like that. I started taking her to shops to get washed and get her nails clipped but people won’t take her any more at Pets Smart and Pet Co. so I bought Shampoo a couple weeks ago. I haven’t washed her on my own since Senior year due to me getting pink eyes.

My boyfriend and I have been dating/friends on and off for 2 years. We just got back together a couple weeks ago. A lot of people told me that our relationship is not worth it. Although I truly agree I also believe in 1 last chance.He fu***d up for 2 years by calling me a B, Wh***, Ho*, not atractive and baby as in where is your bottle. I took that sh** for 2 years. But I didn't allow it either. We didn't talk for several months or maybe a year. On the morning of November 16, 2018 I texted him things I should've told him a long time ago. I told him I didn't forget the name calling for 2 years even when we 1st became friends/getting to know each other, that this has nothing to do with forgiving, that he needed to act like a 18- 21 year old man, that I didn't deserve that at all, I tried to be the best girlfriend/friend I could be, that I didn't want his apology. I'm with him today because he told me he will change. He made some improvement but not a lot. He bought me flowers yesterday but only because I refused to come over due to the fact he doesn't trust me with simple stuff like fixing things or picking him up in certain areas. I can talk to him with no problem over the phone, he apologizes after he call me names and sometimes he doesn't. The reason I want to break up with him now is because he told me I stunk and smell like weed. Now I don't want to come over and I don't want to see him for a while. He will move in the fall.

My cousin was with her boyfriend for a long long long time. On New years day her and my aunt called saying my cousin is 6 weeks pregnant with her very 1st child. I was shocked. I wasn't exspecting her to say that. The problem is she wants to do an abortion because she can't hold any food down and the guy she thinks is the father doesn't care what happens. The other problem is she claims it's not her boyfriend's baby. It's someone elses. The confusing part is she posted pictures of her and her boyfriend weeks and weeks ago on Snapchat but not recently. The last post she posted of them was July of 2017. The guy she thinks is the father have a child of his own. Makes no since right? My parents. Aunt and I feel that she should keep it because it's family. We have family members who are not around and doesn't bring there children around. It would be a blessing for it to be in my family. She also told me over the phone last night she is doing the abortion as soon as Tuesday. She called it a name (little ****) over the phone and is blaming it for not allowing her to eat. My mom and aunt told her she will regret doing the abortion. I tried telling her a list of foods she could try, I looked up foods she could try, I even offered her to stay over for a couple of days so my parents and I can help her the best way we can. If she has an abortion at least she knows we tried. Just like I told her she would have help from me, my parents, my aunt, my auncle, her grandma and her friends.

I see a lot of people with a Apple watches I didn’t know Samsung had a Smartwatch until the person who does my hair thought samsung had a watch. I have a Samsung phone. When i told her I notice the Apple Watch on her wrist I told her I didn’t think Samsung had a watch. Later on the day i looked it up. I watched videos about them. I ordered it online but since I still live with my parents and they know I want it for Christmas then I can’t open it until Christmas. Looking up the reviews before buying it. I tried to find videos of people talking on it while driving. I couldn’t. I think it would be nice to drive while talking on it so i wouldn’t have to use my phone while looking to see if cops are around. Do you have a Samsung watch? Do you ever talk on it while driving? I don’t know how that would work.

Earlier today I said on here that he would make plans with me and cancel. I wasn't able to say on my last story that he would also wait a couple hours before an event. A couple weeks ago he wanted to go to a rally an hour or 2 away from my house. Him and I been there only once. It was far. For months he put on Facebook about who to vote for like" Vote for Republicans" or say stuff like "wear red" .....ect. he put on Facebook that he wanted to go to a rally. I thought he would ask someone else to go with him. He said he was going but wasn't sure when. On Facebook I found out the rally was on a Sunday and the next day which was Monday. The crazy part was that I was absolutely free on that Sunday. I was finished with my homework. He asked me on that Monday a couple hours before an event. He knows I go to school. Plus I had tutoring on that Monday. I asked him why he would ask me so late. He said he thought about when he wanted to go. So as a result he got upset because I said no. He wanted both our friend and I to go. My friend had to work. I had a chapter to read and turing for my math homework that I gotten on that day. My math professor gives out homework every week. Either way like I said in my last story I won't be hanging out with him again. Not only he cancels at the last minute but he also ask me a few hours before an event. That wasn't the only time he ask me at the last minute.

I've been so busy lately that I wasn't able to do the midterm voting balet. I just finished it a few minutes ago. Today is Sunday November 4th 2018. The midterm election is Tuesday November 6th. I am planning to turn it in today. It's my very 1st time. Where do I turn it in? My friend told me I should turn it in at the community center by the high school I use to go to. My parents told me to turn it in in the mail box not far from my house.

What do you guys think?

Back in August I had to have a pap smear. I remember years ago when I had it it hurt the very 1st time. As time went on it wasn't that bad at all. Maybe because the doctors had conversations with me. So in Augest I was wondering why I was in pain. I was trying to relax as much as possible. When the doctor took the spectrum out blood was on it. I saw blood brgote she threw it away. Do you think the soectrum was too small? Also after that I had to do the pelvic exam. I wish my doctor did that 1st.

After high school I heard that the girl I use to be friends with, the one who doesn't like me anymore is dating my ex again. They broke up after him and I graduated. The last thing I heard was that they broke up. I had no idea they were back together. Today I found and chatted with him on FB messenger. The 1st thing I asked was if he remembers me. He said "yes" After that we talked about everything since we haven't heard from him since graduation July of 2015. I dated him back in 2012/2013 Sophomore year. Then we broke up. In senior year we became friends. That's when the girl I was friends with at the time dated him. She knew I dated him but as you can see she took him from me. Not trying to start drama. After graduation I didn't hear from him. I only heard from the girl. She use to call and text me about him. Saying she wanted him back., miss him, ect. She didn't contact me back ever again. I don't know why but she told 2 other girls I use to be friends with a lot of BS about me. We were never friends again. I found and contacted him not knowing they were back together. I told him about college and driving, just everything that's been going on in my life. He told me his stories. Then he told me he is back together with her. I told him I don't want to be friends and why. It's all because of her. I just told him that I hope they have a good life and this has nothingto do with him. He still want to be friends again. I have no attention being friends with him.

My mom is planning to take $300 out of my account every month for tutoring. She refuse to allow me to check my account which is not good so I normally ask her. She won't allow me to have a job and I am in school. She wants me to just focus on school. College books are expensive. I have math tutors who are exspensive so for a while she was paying the tutors. Ever since I heard about Samsung Watch I've been trying to save my money for it. I decided that if she will tale $300 out of my account every month then I will buy clothes, shoes, the watch that I want, ect at the begining or the 1st week of every month before she takes my money. Just like I told her I get hungry too. January is a new semester of college I have to pay for my books which are exspensive, school supplies and new clothes. My family told me to ask my parents for money. My mom will give me money every month which is much lesser than the $300 she will be taking from me for tutoring. I also told her not to take out money next semester unless I have a tutor/tutors for the classes I will be taking. I also forgot to mention that for Christmas even though it's too early to say this but I will have to buy my parents cheap things this year because I have to save my money. Not just for the watch but for places my friends wants to go to go to because they sometimes wants to go places. If I had a job then that would be something different. .