Mary

Okay, so my exhusband is the reason why so many dads are given a hard time in the courts. So we were divorced in the state that I live in, but he lives in a different state. Per our decree, he gets visitation whenever he gives "reasonable" notification, and every other Christmas. Child Support was order in 2008, however, as of right now he is over $16,000 behind. He had my children over the summer and once again there are many "issues."

1) my youngest lost considerable weight due to poor diet conditions (she has minor digestive issues and needs basically a healthy diet, veggies, high fiber, and limit the amounts of dairy). When given junk her digestive track gets off line and she stops eating because her tummy hurts. According to both of my children (who walked off the plane with Mt. Dew in their hands-given to them by their father) their food choices were a child's dream, but not very responsibile ones.

2) Although he can not afford to pay childsupport he found the money for plane tickets

3) the woman in his life (not married, and per children no intentions of it) insisting that she is their mom too..."If you call that (bad word) daddy you will call me mommy" --that man is my new husband that attends their soccer practices, parent teacher conferances, etc. and we (my husband nor I nor anyone else) ever said they couldn't/should call him anything but his first name...after several years they choose to call him daddy.

5) Their behavior was off the wall (and I kept getting..."Daddy lets me" and "Daddy and GF says I don't have to listen to you). ect.

6) My children (and their suit case of clothes) reaked to high heven of bad body oder, cigarette smoke, and god only knows what else. It worries me about the hygine of my children when they are down their.

7) He smokes in the house next to my children (one of whom has asthma)

8) They have back for almost a month and he's only called them once.

So my questions is this. I hate the conditions it seems that my children are in when they visit. He only actually takes them "some" summers as he calls off his holidays. He never pays for anything he's been court ordered to do (uninsured medical, child support, etc.). My children don't seem to mind going down there, but come back sick EVERY TIME they come back (twice have been hositalized upon return). I haven't actually asked the courts to stop him from being able to take them because it's unreasonable (due to distance) for short term visits and every year it seems to get a little better. Children need their father, but what can I do to make this situation better? I've talked till I'm blue about not smoking around the kids, about serving moderately healthy meals, about having a bed (even an airmattress) for them to sleep on. But all I'm doing is blowing hot air. Do I go back to the courts and ask for placement to be...what? I'd love for them to not be able to leave the state, but that's not possible. Any ideas would be helpful.

I am looking for ideas for having a "new family dance" song. This is neither of our first marriage and we both have kids from previous marriages. We would like to have a step/child dance immediately following our first dance, however, I'm coming up short on a song. Any suggestions?

First I know that induction isn't ideal, and shouldn't be done unless medically necessary, and is a harder labor (I've been induced twice before), but I'm looking for some advice here.

First, I live in a rural area I am 87 miles to hospital which part is on farm routes which means it can take upwards of two hours to get their. My second child dialated to 5 cm before being induced as I was dialating without noticable contractions.

I have fibromyalgia, which with my past pregnancies hadn't been a real issue. With this pregnancy, the almost daily migraines, unbareable pain, has literally put my life on hold. I am on the verge of losing my career as fibro is not considered a disability and not being able to work isn't a compensatable ailment. I make a decent living and losing my job is not an option, I refuse to be a bum living off the government.

I am currently 35 weeks pregnant. Unlike my past pregnancies, I haven't gained any weight (I've actually lost...BUT am overweight and DR is okay with it.) Every two weeks I tend to lose a pound or two. My pain is horrific. I'm sitting here on my lunch break unable to get up from my seat because the pain in my abdomin and back are too bad. I'm on pain meds but they don't work well. I've told my doctor about the pains and he gave me the meds and pretty much said deal.

I've seen a chriopractor that specializes in pregnant woman, but he made it worse. I do get some relief by sitting in the pool, but I can't do that 24x7, nor can I sleep in there as much as I'd like to sometimes.

Her head is already so low that it's dificult to sit up right, and the presure when I stand causes me to catch my breath from the pain.. I've been checked and am told I haven't dialated any.

I have two small children at home that need care. As much as this is taking out of me I am scared I won't recover quickly enough to take care of my unborn child. The father is in the picture, but because of the time I've had to take off he's had to work that much overtime to ensure bills, food, and such can be paid for. Last week he worked 84 hrs (12 hr days x 7 days a week). I thank goodness that's an option.

Are there any options for my family? I know many will say it's only 3 more weeks, but that three more weeks could mean the difference of having a job to come back to or not.

Okay, so I know this woman that I feel is abusing the whole divorce situation. She and her soon-to-be ex have been married for 9 years. She was on SSI, Medicaid, foodstamps, the whole shebang before they met (I'm still trying to figure out why he married her...but love is blind right?). Okay, so after marriage she lost many of the benefits (kept SSI but at a reduced rate) "can't" work (I'm not going to touch on my opinions of that with a ten yard pole) and he has supported her and her two children for the entire time. During the divorce proceedings he continued paying her rent, buying her groceries, paying all the bills, ect. He even went so far as to take her to her doctors appointments, even after she repeatedly canceled them five minutes before he was to be there (many times canceling his own appointments to take her).

I assume he's doing this to keep things civil as he's the one who asked for the divorce. He claims he's giving her time to adjust and prepare for not having him support her.

She fully expects him to continue paying for everything even after the divorce. Thinks the courts will since she's "so disabled" and has kids to take care of (they are now 19 & 16).

It's not like this guy is rich or anything. The only way he's been able to keep paying for her is to live with a buddy...can the courts really expect him to keep mouching off others to support her?

I have a friend in Midwestern Wisconsin who is trying to do a rough budget of building a home, however, can not find any resources on costs of drilling a well or putting in a septic. Any one out there have any clue?

Ok, so it's a long story so bear with me. I have/had a best friend who, for a while I was intimate with. We had a few issues, and went to platonic scenario, and things were going swimingly. Then I found out he was married. This came as a shock. I do not sleep with married men. None of our mutal friends knew he was married. So like any outraged female...that hasn't learned to keep her mouth shut...I confronted. He lied to my face. That night I told him that I knew...called him some pretty imaginative names...and he admitted his wrong doing. Now I care very deeply for this friend. I can't seem to shake that. Tonight he tells me he hasn't been happy for many years and stayed there for a variety reasons...sounded lame, I told him so. Then he talked about leaving his wife, as (his words not mine) he should have done years ago. I told him, that was fine but don't expect to come crawling back to me.

I have known this man for almost two years. I had some suspicions early on, but after the nightly late night talk sessions...seeing him out in town and never with a woman (and we live in a small town and run into each other semi often), I dismissed my gut...bad idea ladies...always listen to your instincts.

So I've been a royal ***** to him, called him every name you could possibly think of (and a few more in fact) and he wants to start over. Be friends...just friends. I love this man (not in-love, but love him nonetheless)

Everything in me says forgive, verify, and accept...but do I want a friend I can't trust? Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you!!

And please no smart alec replies...I've alreay said them all to myself.

OKAY...I have/had a friend with benefits. It was a mutal beneficial relationship with no strings. Well one time we must have not been all that careful because, wham bam I'm pregnant. I found out when the doc thought I was miscarring. I told my friend because there was a chance I wouldn't lose it, then the doc told me I did...(we're not even going to touch my emotional rollercoaster here), well, today I couldn't stop vomiting and so I went to the ER (it's Sunday, doc office not open), well guess what...I didn't lose it, the other doc was mistaken...now what? Do I tell him (although I did tell him I lost it) or do I sit tight, I'm not out of the woods yet, what? Some advice would be greatly appreciated. BTW was on an IUD when I became preggers, I decided to have it removed due to pregnancy, and there are a few other health issues...

Why if a girl is too "attainable" is she unattractive, and yet the B!@#H is the one that most tend to go for?

Ok, I suck at playing the dating game. I've known this man for over a year. I like him (god this sounds like high school), and apparently he liked me. I didn't find this out till I was dating someone else. When the guy I was dating dumped me, I didn't react. Several weeks later the guy I like and I were talking and the conversation turned very sexual (it was online and yes I do know this man in RT), now a week later he's barely talking to me. Was I too easy to show my feelings?