flossiedots

Kermit & Miss Piggy got married & Kermit wanted to add on to his lily pad. Now, Kermit needed money to undertake this project, so he went down to the bank to get a loan. There at the teller window was his old friend, Ms. Patricia Wack. "Hello, Patricia," said Kermit "I need a loan so I can add onto my lily pad." Well, Kermit, we can lend you the money, but we need some collateral. Do you have anything you can give us? Kermit went through his bag of possessions and came out with a little gold statue. "This is all I have," he said. "Well, I don't know," said Patricia. "Let me ask the president." So Patricia walked into the President's office and said, "Kermit the Frog needs a loan, but this is all he has as collateral," and she handed him the statue. The president looked at the statue and said, "It's a nick-nack, Patty Wack. Give the frog a loan."

Years ago, my Dad worked for Telstra. In the '80s they started to bring in rules about different sorts of discriminatory behaviour. One of the rules was that there would be no jokes of an offensive nature allowed & this included racially oriented jokes.

Now my Dad had a mate, we'll call him Paul, who LOVED to tell Irish jokes. The day wouldn't have been right for him without a "There were these 2 Irishmen, Pat & Mike" somewhere in it & the new rules really hurt him.

My Dad & Paul were at a Bible study class that same week when Paul turned to my Dad & said, "Peter, isn't it true that all the Hittites were wiped out before the New Testament was written?" My Dad said, yes,it is true. "So," says Paul, "if I tell Hittite jokes, no-one can get offended & I'm not breaking the rules?" That's right, my Dad told him.

So the next morning in the tea room, Paul says, "There were these 2 Hittites, Paddy & Mick..."

True story.

I'm trying to find a flair bartender in Adelaide, Aust. Are there any? I've tried all my contacts, Googling, phone books & other ways. We just don't seem to have any. If you know of one, please email via my avatar.

Thanks.

I always use it, but have come up with several instances lately wherein I have misspelt the word 2 different ways (I'm a lousy typist) & neither spelling has been picked up.

And why questions are often repeated, up to 6 times?

I was reading an American book & came across the term several times. Three of the characters were wearing soul patches on their faces.

They finally come out only to find it was a false alarm. The boy's mother has taught him to dance & there was a great scene at a night club during which the leading man danced swing with two girls.