Scott

I (23M) met a girl (20)that I got along really well with at a social event about a week and a half ago. We exchanged contact info and I contacted her a couple days later to ask to hang out. Unfortunately, she said she has finals until February 17th. The academic calendar over here is pretty different, so I understand that.

So I settled for text to keep up some form of contact rather than disappear for a couple weeks. I text her roughly every 3 nights (once had a 5 night gap though) and have a conversation while watching TV or working out. She always replies quickly to my messages and we have a nice, funny back and forth. If things like message size and response times matter, then we re equal on those, though I usually reply slower than she does.

I'm planning on texting her again in another few days and actually trying to get a day and time and what not to meet in-person, now that February 17th isn't so far away now. What I'm wondering is: do you think I've done the text game right or have I already potentially blown it? I m now wondering whether it might have been better to just have gone with the disappearing-reappearing act, after hearing you shouldn't text too often.

I (23M) met a girl (20)that I got along really well with at a social event about a week and a half ago. We exchanged contact info and I contacted her a couple days later to ask to hang out. Unfortunately, she said she has finals until February 17th. The academic calendar over here is pretty different, so I understand that.

So I settled for text to keep up some form of contact rather than disappear for a couple weeks. I text her roughly every 3 nights (once had a 5 night gap though) and have a conversation while watching TV or working out. She always replies quickly to my messages and we have a nice, funny back and forth. If things like message size and response times matter, then we re equal on those, though I usually reply slower than she does.

I'm planning on texting her again in another few days and actually trying to get a day and time and what not to meet in-person, now that February 17th isn't so far away now. What I'm wondering is: do you think I've done the text game right or have I already potentially blown it? I m now wondering whether it might have been better to just have gone with the disappearing-reappearing act, after hearing you shouldn't text too often.

Last night, I talked with my girlfriend on Skype very late at night at our usual time. Unfortunately, I was very, very tired for some reason, but still wanted to talk to her. However, during our talk, I looked like I was clearly in a bad mood (not smiling, not cheery, etc) and ended the Skype call pretty quickly, saying I was really tired. I collapsed on my bed soon after.

The next day, she sent me a message wondering why I was mad at her, saying she didn't anything wrong, so why was I mad? I replied saying I wasn't mad, just really really tired, and that probably put me in a bad mood. I apologized.

She replied, saying that she understood my reasons and that I should take care of myself more because of my sudden intense tiredness. However, she then said she was cancelling our date for tomorrow, saying she has to go visit her father and grandmother (mom is divorced and lives elsewhere).

I said okay, asked why, and asked if we could talk later tonight, since last night was a bit of a bust. She read, but didn't reply. However, she evidently had time to upload an (admittedly very well done) picture she drew up to Instagram. I didn't know what was up.

Several hours later, I sent another message asking if she was okay, if something happened, and that I was a bit worried. She replied saying "Sorry, I'll contact you later. Please leave me alone for a bit."

Is this a bad sign? Do you think she's still mad at me? I have very little experience with this type of stuff.

Last night, I talked with my girlfriend on Skype very late at night at our usual time. Unfortunately, I was very, very tired for some reason, but still wanted to talk to her. However, during our talk, I looked like I was clearly in a bad mood (not smiling and such) and ended the Skype call pretty quickly, saying I was really tired.

The next day, she sent me a message wondering why I was mad at her, saying she didn't anything wrong, so why was I mad? I replied saying I wasn't mad, just really really tired, and that probably put me in a bad mood. I apologized.

She replied, saying that she understood my reasons and that I should take care of myself more because of my sudden intense tiredness. However, she then said she was cancelling our date for tomorrow, saying she was instead visiting her father and grandmother (mom is divorced and lives elsewhere) instead.

I said okay, asked why, and asked if we could talk later tonight, since last night was a bit of a bust. She read, but didn't reply. However, she evidently had time to upload an (admittedly very well done) picture she drew up to Instagram. I didn't know what was up.

Several hours later, I sent another message asking if she was okay, if something happened, and that I was a bit worried. She replied saying "Sorry, I'll contact you later. Please leave me alone for a bit."

Is this a bad sign? Do you think she's still mad at me? I have very little experience with this type of stuff.

I met a girl recently though a penpal site, though turns out she lived in the same city as me. So we talked on the phone for a few times, then met in person. On the day we met, we went to a bar. As we left the bar tipsy, I held her hand and we hung out for a few hours after, doing drunken antics and constantly holding each others hands. By the end, she was letting me hold her in my arms. Keep in mind, this had never been expressly stated as being a date, just meeting up.

Next day, I called back and she said she had a wonderful time last night. The intimacy wasn't mentioned, but she said she had a wonderful time. We've talked twice since then (once on Sunday, once on Tuesday) and set up another meeting for Friday. I don't intend to talk to her on Wednesday or Thursday.

Thing is, when I call her, we wind up talking for around an hour each time. She seems to be totally engaged the whole time, laughing a lot and what not. It honestly doesn't feel like an hour at all.

But I'm concerned about the good old friend zone problem. Does she actually like me in "that way"? Am I calling too often and am I talking to her for too long?

I met a girl recently though a penpal site, though turns out she lived in the same city as me. So we talked on the phone for a few times, then met in person. On the day we met, we went to a bar. As we left the bar tipsy, I held her hand and we hung out for a few hours after, doing drunken antics and constantly holding each others hands. By the end, she was letting me hold her in my arms. Keep in mind, this had never been expressly stated as being a date, just meeting up.

Next day, I called back and she said she had a wonderful time last night. The intimacy wasn't mentioned, but she said she had a wonderful time. We've talked twice since then (once on Sunday, once on Tuesday) and set up another meeting for Friday. I don't intend to talk to her on Wednesday or Thursday.

Thing is, when I call her, we wind up talking for around an hour each time. She seems to be totally engaged the whole time, laughing and what not. It honestly doesn't feel like an hour at all.

But I'm concerned about the good old friend zone problem. Am I calling too often and am I talking to her for too long?

Here's a little timeline of what's going on with this girl.

Saturday: Have a date. Things go really well. She outright says she likes me, even initiating a couple times, such as asking me to kiss her as a reward for winning a silly game we were playing. She was overly excited at times. It was a great night. Kiss close.

Sunday: Send her a quick message saying I had fun and stuff. She replies and we have a short conversation. However, I accidentally fall asleep (which was for the best probably, since response times were slowly increasing).

Monday: Reply saying I fell asleep, and saying "we should hang out again sometime." Plan was for her to say yes, then I say a date and time. Nope - she reads it, but doesn't even bother replying.

Tuesday: She likes my new profile pic on Facebook and a new album of photos. But she still doesn't reply to my message from Monday.

Wednesday: She likes another new album of photos I upload (both from cities I recently visited over spring), but again, refuses to answer the damn message.

So, what's going on here? She's ignoring my message completely, but liking everything I post on Facebook. What's up with her and what should I do? I wanted to strike while the iron was hot.

Saturday: Go out with girl and hit it off really, really well. She seemed to really like me, even said so herself and initiated things a couple times (like asking me to kiss her as a reward for a silly game we played).

Sunday: I send a quick message saying I had fun and she reciprocates in kind. We have a short conversation, but I wind up falling asleep (exhausted), and leave her last message unreplied to.

Monday: Reply to her message after I get off work, saying I fell asleep and hinting we should hang out again sometime. She reads it, but doesn't reply.

Tuesday (today): She likes my new profile pic on Facebook this morning, then likes my new album of vacation photos this afternoon. She still hasn't responded to my message.

Wednesday: Still nothing

What should I do? I want to meet again next weekend, this weekend is sadly no good.

A. Call her tomorrow, asking her out and specifying a day?

B. Message her again tomorrow and ask

C. Wait longer. Either she's lost interest or expects me to wait her out.

D. Other

Saturday: Go out with girl and hit it off really, really well. She seemed to really like me, even said so herself and initiated things a couple times (like asking me to kiss her as a reward for a silly game we played).

Sunday: I send a quick message saying I had fun and she reciprocates in kind. We have a short conversation, but I wind up falling asleep (exhausted), and leave her last message unreplied to.

Monday: Reply to her message after I get off work, saying I fell asleep and hinting we should hang out again sometime. She reads it, but doesn't reply.

Tuesday (today): She likes my new profile pic on Facebook this morning, then likes my new album of vacation photos this afternoon. She still hasn't responded to my message.

What's going on here?

I went out with this girl two days ago and we wound up getting along really well. She even initiated things a few times (played a game, she won, she said her reward was my kiss).

I texted her yesterday saying I had a great time. We had a short conversation before I fell asleep and left her hanging unreplied to. What do I do from here?

A. Reply to her tonight and ask her on a second date in that same reply.

B. Reply tonight, end conversation. Wait two days to message her again, asking for second date.

C. Don't reply today. Wait until tomorrow to reply, and also ask her out.

Which one?

I went out with this girl two days ago and we wound up getting along really well. She even initiated things a few times (played a game, she won, she said her reward was my kiss).

I texted her yesterday saying I had a great time. We had a short conversation before I fell asleep and left her hanging unreplied to. What do I do from here?

A. Reply to her tonight and ask her on a second date in that same reply.

B. Reply tonight, end conversation. Wait two days to message her again, asking for second date.

C. Don't reply today. Wait until tomorrow to reply, and also ask her out.

Which one?

I'll summarize it quickly.

- match with girl on Tinder

- she messages me first immediately after the match, no hesitation

- we exchange contact info, conversation flows pretty smoothly until bedtime

- I message her the next day, she responds right away, we talk for about an hour

- send her a message again the next day, she replies right away again and we talk again

Should I message her again tonight? Or would that look clingy, desperate, or what have you?

For the record, I asked to hang out the night we matched, but she said she would need her work schedule first. We're still talking, so I guess it wasn't just an excuse.

I'm currently doing the JET Program in Japan at the moment. I've considered doing graduate school afterwards, either in Japan or in the US, in my home state of Arizona as I can't afford out-of-state tuition.

It's come to my attention that, according to Waseda University's website, tuition for a graduate degree from Waseda will be about $10,000 cheaper than one from Arizona State University. That's a pretty significant savings, especially since I'd have to buy a car again if I go back to the US vs it being unnecessary in Japan. I know rent is considerably higher in Tokyo, but Waseda has cheap student dorms you can stay at for the duration of your study, so high Tokyo apartment rents is a non-factor.

That said though, is graduate school in Japan actually worth it? A Masters from Waseda vs one from ASU - which one would go farther?

I'm currently doing the JET Program in Tottori Prefecture. I studied abroad before in Okayama for ten months and loved it. Some good times and bad times, but on balance it was a wonderful experience. I was seriously motivated to learn Japanese to fluency and really delve into Japanese culture afterward.

Sadly my motivation has gone to zero since coming to Tottori. This mainly has to do with the fact that so many Japanese people here seen to take pleasure at making fun of my accent, to my face. They exaggerate, I've listened to myself and I don't actually speak like that (though I do obviously have an accent), but they can't resist doing a stereotypical gaijin accent impersonation around me or when I talk.

It's not just kids, but plenty of adults seem to do it too. I can count the amount of times this happened in Okayama on one hand, as it so surprised me when it happened. Here, it's probably twice a week.

Don't get me wrong, I've met some nice and friendly people. But I had no idea Japanese people could be so rude. If I'm going to be made fun of for opening my mouth, I really don't want to speak this language.

Any advice at all? Motivational tips? It's all greatly appreciated.

Last night, I received a message from a friend. We met when we studied abroad together a couple years back. We hung out pretty regularly while studying abroad, though of course that ended when study abroad ended. We last physically saw each other about a year and a half ago, but we kept in contact since then once every couple weeks via text.

Last night, she sent me a message saying goodbye. I asked what the deal was, and she said she was committing suicide. Her boyfriend had broken up with her after a week of not communicating, and he officially called it off. I know she's recently moved and got a new job, and has had some trouble adjusting. So she seemed really attached to her boyfriend. But she had other friends nearby her (within an hour, could hang out every weekend) too - she was by no means alone. In any case, I told her to strongly reconsider, but she didn't reply.

I checked this morning and she had been active on Facebook an hour prior, so she was still hanging in there. But I checked again a bit later and her Facebook had been deleted. She also hasn't replied to my messages. I decided to send messages to her using any type of messaging service I knew, but so far no reply.

I'd like to think that she's just taking a break from the world, as she still had friends close by and stuff she could talk to. I'd like to think she hasn't actually gone through with it. Any help at all? The uncertainty is what's getting to me.

So here's the situation: I'm here teaching English in Japan on the JET Program. While here, I've managed to save up an incredible amount of money. However, my plans for after this teaching gig are still completely up in the air.

I've recently discovered that tuition for taking part in a Chinese learning program at universities in Taiwan is ridiculously cheap. I can bankroll a whole year's worth of tuition right now and have thousands left over. I've been to Taiwan before and loved it, have a history of getting along quite well with Chinese people (if exchange students are any indication), and I get to "extend", if you will, my little Asian adventure.

However, I have zero Chinese background, except for any kanji that cross over into Japanese. Should I go for it anyway? And how are opportunities to keep up my Japanese in Taiwan? This opportunity is very exciting, but also intimidating.

I have a 3.49 GPA overall. However, things dropped off on my very last semester. Here are my grades since transferring to my university.

Spring 2010: 3.33

Fall 2010: 3.43

Spring 2011: 3.33

Fall 2012: 4.00 (study abroad)

Spring 2012: 3.88 (study abroad, took classes in non-native language this time)

Fall 2012: 2.75

I only needed three classes to graduate, but took four to get full time status. I got a D in one of the classes, the online filler class thankfully. Not in my major or minor. Twin pressures of job hunting and reintegration after a year abroad did a number as well.

How are my chances of getting into grad school? Will they overlook this weak spot or are my chances sunk?

I'm 24 years old and I really don't know what I'm doing with my life. Currently, I'm on my first year of a teaching program in Japan, teaching English. The job is great and the pay is even better, with me regularly saving half of my salary each month no problem. The problem is it's contract and will be no good after three years. Permanent employment is impossible. Also, teaching English in Japan seems to be seen as a black hole on your resume by many American employers.

My major was Political Science, but that seems like it'll get me nowhere job-wise. I've considered going to graduate school, but not sure about the extra cost involved with that. I would love to be a university professor, but that job market is really overcrowded. Not to mention part-time only positions with no health benefits are the norm for new hires now. It seems like pursuing that dream would be futile, plus come at heavy costs in both money and time.

Does anyone have any advice? Honestly, if I didn't have this cushy contracted job, I have no idea what I'd be doing. I was working random part-time nonprofit positions before this, failing at my job and hating my life. My fear is I'll have to return to that before long.

I really like Japan, but it certainly seems that most Japanese don't like me. There are a number of factors that have led me to believe that the crazy right-wing nationalists that many people say represent a "small minority" of Japanese are not so few. On the contrary, it seems to me like they represent the majority. Stuff like:

- Shintaro Ishihara, openly racist and regular denier of the Rape of Nanking, was elected for multiple terms as Tokyo governor

- Toru Hashimoto, mayor of Osaka, goes around justifying Korean comfort women. Also elected by the people.

- The government of Japan is considering revising its apology over the comfort women issue, with elected leaders calling it a Korean lie. 59% of Japanese support the revision according to polls.

- Not only that, Shinzo Abe's government has done tons of other things to stoke nationalism, from visiting Yasukuni to appointing ultra-nationalist heads of the NHK to various other things.

- Eien no Zero, a heroic portrayer of kamikaze pilots based on a book by a nationalist Rape of Nanking denier is a box office success. The book is wildly successful as well.

- Black nationalist vans can go around Korean neighborhoods and to Korean embassies, call for their expulsion or even extermination, and nary a word is said in opposition.

It seems to me that most Japanese support the nationalists and racists. After all, they certainly keep electing them. Is this actually the case? Heck, I live in Japan and, even though I know it's equally bad of me to do so, I grow more weary of dealing with Japanese by the day, as it seems most them subscribe to, or are least sympathetic to, ideologies that are downright hostile to foreigners such as myself. They seem so "polite", but if they are regularly supporting these people, as it seems they are, that gives me pause.

I am currently on the JET Program being an ALT. I plan on continuing with JET until 2016. By then, I can save up a ton of money, pay off loans, and get some travel in. However, I'm now beginning to think of what I should do after JET. I was thinking of going to a Japanese grad school, such as Sophia University, and getting an MTESOL.

I like teaching, so that's reason #1. Reason #2 is even though my Bachelor's was in Political Science, my resume is now mostly geared to teaching English (three years with JET, plus one year as an assistant to an English professor when I studied abroad here a couple years ago). I might as well go with that. Reason #3 is Japanese grad school, particularly when you take stuff like the JASSO scholarship into account, is about the same cost as grad school back in my home state in America.

Is this a practical path? What are my chances of getting into grad school in the first place here? I had a 3.49 GPA back home, and lots of extracurricular activities involving interaction with exchange students (three different clubs I regularly attended), if it helps.