greeneyedgirl_

I recently got married Dec. 6, 2013.

I'm currently unemployed (I was laid off, and I haven't been able to get unemployment), I'm 21 years old, a student, and I am receiving financial aid.

Here lately, I've been getting SO much pressure from my husband. It's hard to tell him no, without feeling bad about it or hearing about it from him.

For example, "Hey, what haven't you changed your name yet?" he asks. When I told him the truth, "I just don't want to right now," he gets offended. He even got upset that I wanted to have separate bank accounts (even though we'd pay on bills together) and I wanted to keep my account at my original bank that I've had since I was 16.

Well, here lately he's been asking, "When are you getting your school refund back?" I told him, "Two weeks." Well, he said he needs to pay off some of his debts with that money that I get back.

Okay, this kind of took me back because:

A) I'm currently unemployed, he's bringing $400 home a week and never even lets me use any money for gas or even for a meal from McDonald's (I've never received money from him). I don't even know how I'm going to make a car payment next week, and he knows about all this.

B) I need to pay for my supplies. I'm a graphic art student which my supplies cost a lot ($600) and plus my textbooks ($200), and I'm only getting $1900 back in a refund.

Is it wrong for me to feel like I don't owe him refund money I receive from school? We were dating only 5 months before we got married, so I'm sure this is where SOME of my uncomfortability comes from. But a lot of it, is that he's the primary bread winner and I never receive anything from him. No financial help - he's on my phone bill and doesn't even pay the $120 for it.

What do I do?

My husband has a Match.com account. I had met him through an online dating site originally (one that was not Match.com), things clicked, we dated, got engaged, and now we're married. During our dating period, I did not know he had a Match.com account. In fact, I didn't know until one day out of curiosity I googled his name, and his Match.com profile came up with his name, career, his location, pictures, everything.

Now, I had deleted my dating profile off of the site we met off of whenever things got serious between my husband and I.

I did confront him about the profile. He said he no longer gets on Match.com, however, I do know he still gets the e-mail notifications (which he reads/opens). I suggested, "Well, if you no longer use it, why not delete it?"

His excuse is, he forgot his password. I was a little perplexed by this, because at almost every website there is a "Forgot Password" button that will e-mail you a link to reset your password, and I thought maybe from there he could delete it.

I backed down on the subject since I brought it up about two or three months ago. BUT it still bothers me that I see he's still getting e-mail notifications about it, and that it has not been deleted. I looked at the profile and it said it was active, but he hasn't been on in about 3 weeks. Again, I'm not a Match.com member so I can't contact him through it, but it does bother me.

Does anyone else see an issue with this, or is it just me thinking it's wrong for the account to still be active in to our marriage?

Also, if you are a Match.com member, is there a way he can delete his account? Or is he just bulls*iting me?

There have been a lot of questionable things since we got married, and where do you think I should take this from here with my husband? I've had numerous talks with him about other issues, not regarding the Match.com account. I had found out the whole time while we were dating, even in to marriage, he was trying to hit on/get with this girl then he turned around and denied it in my face after I had seen the whole conversation online. The next day he admitted it, but that was after me telling him I saw the whole entire conversation and read every single thing that was sent. Also, there's a female he talks to through his e-mail on chat that he's been trying to get with.

I've approached these issues with him, as I mentioned above. However, what is the most EFFECTIVE way to get him to understand I'm not putting up with it?

He tells me, "Oh, I love you, I'm not going to cheat on you, I want only you," but his actions are just VERY questionable. I do love my husband, but I am unhappy after only a MONTH of marriage.

I've been dating this man, who is 23 years old. I'm two years younger, at 21. Anyway, we both have been spending a lot of time together! I've seen him every day since we started going on dates, we've met each other's family already, and all that. He's the best, sweetest, most amazing guy I've met in a long time, and last night I decided to take the leap and just make love with him.

Well, I knew his mother and her fiance were staying at HIS house until their wedding. Keep in mind, he owns his own place - and we moved in to the bedroom to engage in intimate activity.

Well, about an hour in to sex, in barges his mother while I'm on top of him proceeding to carry on intercourse. Anyway, I'm immediately knocked off, and pushed under the covers. She closes the door real quick, once she noticed what was going on, and then proceeded to STAND OUTSIDE OF THE DOOR, knocking on it, and yelling at him to come out.

She then told him to leave his own house, and not come back.

Now, I understand it wasn't a smart idea for me to be engaging in intimacy with him (yes, I know it makes me look bad), while his parents were across the hall in another room, sleeping. BUT, at the same time, it is HIS house, and he's a grown adult.

Do you think his mother overreacted by yelling through the door and knocking on it, after she had already seen what was going on?

I am so grateful he respects his momma, that says A LOT about how he'll treat women, but he is a grown man. What was wrong with him partaking in love making with me?

And, is it wrong for her to push him out of HIS own house?

What do I say next time I see her, or if she talks to me ever again? :/ I really like him, and I regret that this decision may be what causes her to see me as a "tramp" or "floozy", but it's not like that. I really do care about him, I like him a lot, I can see myself with him in the future. But I'm afraid I've blown it with his mother.

I just recently was reading up on what a Spirit Guide was.

As I was reading, learning about all this for the first time, I began to feel a tingle down my spine.

I turn around to make sure it wasn't just from standing still, and walked around the house. I continued to feel this warm, tingle for almost 5 minutes, and it just suddenly went away. It was unlike anything I've ever felt before.

And then I tried to google what it feels like when your Spirit Guide touches you, however I couldn't get anything about feeling tingling down the spine.

I've been with the same guy (both emotionally, physcally, and mentally) since I was 17. I'm now 21, and he's 25.

My first question is, do you think people really change that much from 17 to 21? I mean, when I met him, I was niave, I'll admit - but the longer I'm with him, the more of an ***hole I see he is. It feels like an everyday struggle - but I do love him, and I'm trying to pursue having a family with him.

However, he just does things that I don't get. I feel like the adult here, and he's 25! He will spend thousands of dollars on action figures and video games (yet, when I brought up getting engaged once, he yelled at me that he didn't want to "invest" that time of money on a ring; he also said wifing me up is an "investment" that he isn't sure he wants to make - this comment kind of offended me because I'm a person, NOT an object).

Then, he's called me awful, horrible names in front of his own mother in drunken fits months ago, he's lied to me repeatedly, he never wants to take blame or responsibility to anything, and whenever I do get tired of him, and decide that I need time apart from him, he makes no effort to reach out to me, or be compassionate. Just shrugs and says "whatever," because he knows I'll come back around.

But the older I get, the more I see that this is not the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. Do I want to marry him? Yes, but not if he doesn't change. I was told at 25, a personality is set. Well, nothing has changed the 4 years we've been together, so do you think that his personality is set?

Secondly, he's selfish. Which makes no sense, because I'm not selfish nor was his family. He will tell me all day we're going on a date, and then show up 2 hours late. Once he realizes I'm upset (not angry, just crying/hurt), he'll call his man friend, and ask if he wants to go drink beer with him and eat pizza.

Okay ... today, I cancelled all my plans for him, sat around waiting for 3 hours and he was 3 hours late, and he doesn't get why I'm upset. I didn't go tend to what I wanted to do, because I was expecting to go on a date with him (which we hardly do anyway)! Then, instead of trying to console or make it up to me, he just shrugs it off, and goes to eat pizza and drink beer with his friend.

What the hell. I don't get it. I finally told him, "If you care about me as much as you say, if you love me, you'd of come and consoled me, you'd of tried to make the situation better. Not call up your male friend and ignore the fact that you've hurt me or upset me." This made no change in his behavior, and I told him, "If you pick spending time with your man friend right now over me, then I will not be here tomorrow for you. We'll be done." He let his friend take the phone and tell me I was a being a ***** and to leave my boyfriend alone.

I'm just so tired of this. It's ALL the time, and I want an outside opinion, you guys. Is it time to throw in the towel with this guy for good?

I do everything for him - I feed him, wash his laundry, spend the night at his house almost every night, spend enormous amounts of money on gifts (he's hard to impress), and I listen to him and support him. But I feel like I get nothing in return - is it awful to think that way? I feel emotionally unsatisfied.

I'm 20 years old, I'll be 21 this year.

I'm currently $20k in debt to student loans. I transferred in to a university from a community college, and I'm shy of being a sophomore, as far as credit hour stance goes.

I took a semester off from college to work and make some money to put back. In 3 months, I've put back almost $600. However, because I did not attend school this semester, student loans want me to start paying them back $93 starting in July 2013.

I have figured since I'm already in $20k of student loan debt, it is in my best interest to go back to community college and finish an associates degree and either pay for my Bachelor's out of pocket, or once I've paid off my loans I'm accruing now. Is this a smart move?

Also, I plan to start school in the summer over at the community college, and I want to use my saved up money. For three credit hours (1 class), it is $414. Do you think this is a smart idea to pay out of pocket, even if I'm only taking one class?

I was dating this man back in the end of Jan - beginning of Feb. and it never got too serious. We went on four dates, and everything seemed perfect. It seemed we'd be so great together.

A stranger even complimented us while we were walking saying we looked so happy together and congratulations.

But I didn't like that he didn't communicate effectively with me. He'd text me once a week. And we'd only have a date on Saturdays.

The fourth date we ended up sleeping together, and I left his house afterward (no cuddling). He texted me, making sure I got home okay, but the only reason I didn't stay over was because he said, "If you stay, you have to leave when I leave to go to work at 5am."

A culmination of these things - the lack of communication and sleeping together too soon - is why I broke it off with him, saying that I needed someone to talk to me more, and I'm huge on communication.

Well a month and a half later, almost two, I got a text from him apologizing, saying that I deserved to be treated better and that he was sorry. He said his life was just in a "rough" place.

I'm wondering ... what's this man's motive? Is he just hoping I'll jump back in his bed? Or do you think he could genuinely be apologetic?

I'm 21. The man I've been involved with for the past 4 years, is 25.

From the time I was 17 to present, we've been through SO much. So much that I probably shouldn't even be with him - he's cheated on me, lied to me multiple times, called me all kinds of names in front of his own mother, physically restrained me and yelled in my face, and goes out drinking while I wait at home for him.

We do not live together. However, as soon as I start apartment looking, he says: "Oh, you can come live with me at my house. You can keep your stuff there - but, you have to leave when I go to work."

..Okay, so I'm thinking: What?!

He has told me to my face before, when I asked why we aren't engaged yet: "Because I simply do not want to spend the money on buying you a ring! That's $3,000 I can put toward something else."

Alright, and money isn't an issue for this man ... he makes $72k a year, and doesn't have any bills. His mother pays for his cell phone, his car insurance, his housing, etc. He spends all his money on action figures and video games! His bedroom has a bunkbed, and he has posters all over his walls, covering them!

I just don't understand ... I do everything for this man: I take care of him when he's drunk, I spend the night with him, I support him, I've bought him Christmas gifts before and gotten NOTHING in return, I wake him up for work, I feed him, I wash his clothes for him sometimes ... I just don't get it.

He complained when I broke up with him once and went out on a date with another man that I was showing I couldn't be "faithful." I was on a date ... while we were broken up. And his mother even said, "Well, if you want her all to yourself, you should propose to her. That would be nice." He just rolled his eyes.

I don't get it - why is he this way? Is this a man that'll never commit?

I know I'm 21, but I've grown up with this kid, and I've just finished college and now I'm wanting to start a family with him. But ... how long do I have to keep waiting?

A lot of people are telling me he's a lost cause: his personality is set and he won't change.

But, what do I have to do to make him see I love him and want a life with him?

I just don't know what to do anymore.

It started a month ago.

The boy I had sex with had a uti.

But, I started itching, having swollen, painful labia and clit. It itches ALL the time and has a funny odor. Orange discharge - and just recently started bleeding at intervals. I'm on bc pills, and am no where near my period time.

It even hurts to have sex.

Attached is a photo:

http://tinypic.com/r/zus5c4/6

I've ruined way too many chances by hopping in to bed with a man (usually by the second date).

I've met a man who I've been on three different dates with, all which have been nice and he's been respectful and fun.

However, this last day, we started making out a little as soon as he dropped me off to my car. We sat in his car for about two hours just kissing and sucking face. :P

But as soon as I was about to get out of his car, he invited me over to his apartment for a movie night for our 4th date, which will be this Saturday. He said I drive him crazy and I flat out blurted out: "Just because I'm coming over, does not mean I will sleep with you. Got that straight?"

And he chuckled. But then he said, "No, promise me we will TRY not to sleep together."

I just replied, "No, we won't have sex."

But he said, "We won't try to."

So - is he expecting sex?

I really like him, and I don't want to tell him the reason I don't want to have sex with him is because I'm afraid he'll lose interest afterward like past experiences.

However, that is the reason. I want to wait til I know him better and our friendship blossom or a bond of trust develops.

How do I tell him no to sex or to avoid sex altogether when I'm on our date?

I've been talking to this guy I met online.

So far, we've been on three dates BUT my only issue is, he told me after our first date that he didn't like it when girls "blow up his phone." I kind of chuckled at this and just brushed it off. Because of that comment, I just decided not to text him first.

Anyway, we have a date once a week (on Saturdays). And he'll text me maybe ONCE the whole week to set up the place and time, then I won't hear from him at all after that if I try to carry on a conversation to see how his day is going, etc.

Does anyone else find this fishy? How can I get to know someone better, if he won't communicate with me, except for on our dates?

It makes me wonder if he has a girlfriend, or is just lookin' for a booty call.

He seems like a nice guy - but the whole not talking to each other hardly thing bothers me. We even live in the same city, and he only works 4am-3pm ... So, why can't we communicate a little more?

I've already asked him to text me just a little bit more frequently or call me. But STILL all I get is one text a week, making plans for our date and that's it. There is no long reply or details.

I feel like I shouldn't have to drag a 28 year old man in to having a conversation with me. Help. What do you think is going on?

My grandfather is endangering our home when he is there. He and his wife have always lived with my sister, my mother, and I.

He has been known to fall and cut himself (he free bleeds since he's on blood thinners) when no one is home.

However, his latest stint brought the whole family to concern. He went out to burn trash on an obviously windy day - it had been windy the WHOLE day. He ended up catching the yard on fire, to the point where it burned his tool shed (where kerosene bottles were sitting) and the underside of our home. Luckily I, a full time university student with two jobs, was home to grab the hose and progressively stop the fire. However, my thirteen year old sister was inside of the house while this was going on, hiding and scared.

She didn't know what to do in the situation and my grandfather didn't want to call the fire department because he "didn't want to get a ticket."

He also won't eat when he's at home by himself. It's putting stress and everyone - my mother and grandmother work full time, I go to school and work, and at thirteen my sister is unable to help him if he falls or sets another fire.

Is it time for a nursing home?

I was recently instructed to be on a no meat (due to iron), no dairy, and no soda diet due to kidney and bacterial infection problems by my doctor. My medicine I was prescribed also says no meat, no dairy.

What DO I eat then? I am a college student, so I've been able to eat whatever I wanted, up until now?

What can I get protein from? Can I drink soy milk with cereal?

Some help please or recipes or food items!

Okay, I have had three sex partners in the past two months.

In January, I went to the doctor - he never did a physical exam - but said I had a yeast infection. Got medicine for it, it cleared up, and went away.

Two weeks ago, after I've had sex with two new, different people, I start feeling symptoms of a UTI. So I start to take my metronidazole 500mg tablets (what I had been prescribed for, for my yeast infection), and ustell capsules again, thinking it would clear up and go away.

Well, it's been two weeks now, and last week my labia and clit area started itching. There are no bumps, no abnormal textures. However, my labia and the area around the clit and inside the lips, near my vaginal opening, is extremely swollen. It has looked swollen, red, hot to touch since last week.

I cannot even enjoy sex because I cannot get wet or climax from inter purse because just touching that area itches, or is painful.

I'm beginning to wonder if I may have caught an STD or a STI. One of my partners caught a UTI after he had sex with me.

What is going on? Do I need to see an OB/GYN doctor, or just go to a clinic?

I honestly think its because of all the issues we've been through since we've dated.

We've been together 2 and a half years. In this time, he's cheated on me three times, and keeps a girl on the side waiting for whenever I'm ready to leave him. I've left him twice the past year and he always gets drunk and begs me to come back.

I'm beginning to think all these underlying problems is subconsciously making me unattracted to him. We used to have hot, rabbit sex - but now, I just roll over and go to sleep. I feel like him touching me or even attempting to foreplay with me, makes me feel objectified and disgusting.

I have had to force myself to have sex with him because if he goes longer than four days without sex, he starts complaining. I've had to use lots of lube and always imagine I'm sleeping with someone else.

What do I do?

When I first started drinking, I would indulge in the Mike's Hard Lemonade. However, I separated off from cheap, flavored beer in to Vodka. My Vodka preference then shifted to liking Yeungling and tequila. However, last weekend I tried a Mike's again and I wanted to puke ... It tasted AWFUL and cheap. Just like sugared piss.

Alright, I am 21 years old.

Ever since about 19, I started having really bad UTIs, so bad to the point where it would be almost normal for me. I would treat it like a UTI (take the Uricalm, drink water, etc) and sometimes it would lead up in to a kidney infection, sometimes it would just go away. But then it'd be back two or three weeks later.

Anyway, here lately, whenever I have a UTI outbreak, it turns in to bacterial vaginosis. I understand BV is an infection, and it requires medicine (which I do take as prescribed) and is typically from sex. However, I'm wondering if my sex life is what is causing so many infections down there.

My partner recently got a UTI, and was concerned, so he went to go get STD tested. All the results came back negative. So, we both do not have any STDS. However, like I mentioned above, I'm wondering if our sex life is what is causing this to happen so frequently. Could it be so?

I'm also on birth control, so our sex is unprotected (we've been together for three years). Whenever we would wear condoms, I would get UTIs. Whenever we used lube, I would get UTIs (we had to switch over to a natural lube). And now, these BV infections are killing me - it makes me occassionally itch so bad and the discharge has a white, milky look to it along with a funky smell. There are even days when my vagina lips will swell up because of all the irritation and discharge and sex will hurt.

I have been to a doctor and he said it was yeast infections and BV - but this should not happen as often as it does. In the past month, this is my second BV/yeast infection!

Should I see a uriologist? What could be going on for this to happen so often?

Let me give you a little taste of what she does ...

Ever since I was 17, there has been a tracker on my phone. She will ping it, and repeatedly call me over 7 times and leave 5-6 voicemails telling me to "come home", etc. even at my age now.

This has led me to almost getting in my own phone contract with a different agency, because it is driving me crazy. If I go out with my friends on the town, I am constantly being harrassed by my own mother. I feel like the "tracker" is being taken for granted.

Then, she does not think that any man who will not come to our house on the first date, is worth dating.

I feel differently because I don't want anyone to meet my family one the first date, unless I'm 110% I like them, and it might actually go somewhere.

Then, she started crying when I mentioned moving out and took it offensively saying that I was trying to get away from her, which is partially true, but mostly for independence.

I don't want to be mean to my mother, because I love her. But at the same time, when I'm out somewhere, she'll even log on to the phone account and leave 5-6 voicemails on my friend's phones/even DATES phones to see where I'm at, what I'm doing, and I've already said something about it multiple times.

Do you think it's time to get my own phone plan?

I know she's having a hard time letting go (I'm her first child, and she got pregnant with me at 22 so I'm sure she doesn't want me to end up in the same situation) but it's putting tension on our relationship, as well as one with my grandparents because she drags them in to everything too.

My mother still lives with her parents, and I live at home. I mentioned moving out, and she started bawling saying that I must hate her or something, but it's not that .. It's just that the older I get, it seems like the harder she's trying to hold on, and it's ruining our relationship.

A psychic even told me out of the blue once to distance myself from her. She knew nothing about my mother nor did I mention her.

Let me give you a little taste of what she does ...

Ever since I was 17, there has been a tracker on my phone. She will ping it, and repeatedly call me over 7 times and leave 5-6 voicemails telling me to "come home", etc. even at my age now.

This has led me to almost getting in my own phone contract with a different agency, because it is driving me crazy. If I go out with my friends on the town, I am constantly being harrassed by my own mother. I feel like the "tracker" is being taken for granted.

Then, she does not think that any man who will not come to our house on the first date, is worth dating.

I feel differently because I don't want anyone to meet my family one the first date, unless I'm 110% I like them, and it might actually go somewhere.

Then, she started crying when I mentioned moving out and took it offensively saying that I was trying to get away from her, which is partially true, but mostly for independence.

I don't want to be mean to my mother, because I love her. But at the same time, when I'm out somewhere, she'll even log on to the phone account and leave 5-6 voicemails on my friend's phones/even DATES phones to see where I'm at, what I'm doing, and I've already said something about it multiple times.

Do you think it's time to get my own phone plan?

He is coming down to stay in a hotel on our second meeting. Our first meeting was everything I expected and more. The physical attraction is out-of-this world, and I feel like he could be a potential mate by his behaviors/mannerisms/beliefs/things se have talked.about.

We talked everyday for a month and a half on Skype, phone calls, text, and Facebook IM.

But for our second meeting, he's driving 2 hours to stay at a hotel nearby my home. I made it very clear I was uninterested in having sex with him just yet. He said he didn't mind if I didn't want to, but he just wanted to know and feel like how it was to wake up next to me.

Now, I know that he is a man, and I am sure he'll atleast try or anticipate having sex. But he said he would not stay in a hotel unless I atleast fall to sleep in the same bed with him.

To me, this sounds suspicious, but he very well could just be a lonely guy. He is already talking about our future together - but does this seem weird to anyone else? Give me opinions on what I should do here.