Brian

This question has two parts.

First, if for some biological reason your partner can't have kids, like infertility, hysterectomy, etc. would you still be willing to continue with a long-term relationship with that person?

Second, instead of a biological reason, your partner just refuses to ever have kids, would you still stay with them, despite having no kids in your future?

My own take: Despite the disappointment, I think the first problem could be worked around with a surrogate, donor, and/or adoption. However, deep down I want to be a parent, so if my partner won't compromise, I feel the second issue could be a dealbreaker for me.

What's your view on these issues?

Assuming you had to choose a 2nd best, but could go anywhere, in which country would you choose to live?

(I live in USA, but if I was forced to live somewhere else, I'd probably choose Canada, Australia, or UK.)

Aside from physical appearance, what quality, skill, or behavior that you possess is most appreciated by others?

It's totally open-ended... go!

1. Wealth

2. Reputation / Notoriety

3. Charm / Charisma

4. Physical Attractiveness

5. Intellect

Which would you choose as the most valuable "improvement" in this stage of your life and why?

(and yes, I understand that improving one of these can lift other qualities... that's part of the equation.)

I'm wondering if there would be a difference in the answers of men vs. women on this...

There is someone from my recent past (a coworker) who I'd like to reconnect with, now that I believe I have the means.

It would help me if I knew what her level of interest was, which might suggest how open she would be to having a relationship now, even though a few years have passed...

She was 17-18 at the time. Here are some of her behaviors around me:

1. In addition to smiling, whenever I made eye contact, she crossed her legs, while standing up, sort of a ballet pose one foot slightly in front of the other. It was like a reflex.

2. She was constantly staring at my eyes when I was nearby, whether I was making eye contact or not. She made no attempt to hide it... she seemed to be trying to read me and my every response. It was pretty intense.

3. Being a strikingly attractive blond, she tried the "ditsy blonde" routine only once. After she saw my disappointment, she was only competent and true to herself from then on, which I appreciated.

4. She confided in me a few telling pieces of info about herself, like her "I am a good girl" said with a sigh, like nobody seemed to recognize it and her "I sometimes have a problem saying no" with a sad face about an innocent workplace conversation with our boss (but it may have hinted something about her history with men).

5. Even though she was the same "rank" as me in our store and no less skilled than myself, she seemed to want instructions from me.

6. One day she was rather pissed about being required to wear a red Santa hat during the Xmas season. I let her finish her tirade, then responded... "well, I think it's cute" and I walked away. She proceeded to wear the hat without complaint into February, even though it looked strange to everyone else by then.

7. She kept up these patterns of behavior for about 8 months, until she had to move (college).

8. On our last day working together (I had no idea it was the last day at the time), she took great delight in posing and teasing me with a lacy white umbrella from the store's wedding section.

She never learned that I hadn't asked her out earlier because the timing was awful in my life. She also never learned that I had a brand new car coming (making sure it was the color of her eyes), ready to take her out to dinner, which arrived a few days after she disappeared.

So ladies, on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being mild schoolgirl crush and 10 being madly in love with me, how would you rate her interest in me?

Secondly, if you were her with those feelings, would you still want to hear from me (if only for closure and insight), if a few years had passed?

If there's a girl/woman that obviously has a huge crush on a guy and makes no attempt to hide it, how would he tell her that he's not interested in having a relationship with her, in the least hurtful way?

I keep running into this problem...

I don't want to pity-date them and then dump, and it's like no matter what I say, they feel like a failure, as though no good guy would resist them if they did all the right things...

What do I do or say to lessen the blow?

I inherited the European naturally curly hair gene from my mother.

It can be a mixed blessing.

According to family legend, my big blond curls got "ooo's" and "aww's" in public when I was a very small child. From age 7 to age 11, it slowly turned to the color brown.

In early school years, I was teased about it -> "you have curly girly hair!!" My mother assured me that I would benefit later in life.

When I was a high school senior, I thought I would just grow it out to see what happened. Eventually, at 10 inches high, it was a white guy version of an afro. Compared to the African-American version, it was bigger curls, therefore less dense, more soft, fluffy like a pillow.

I might have cut it sooner but something magical happened. Girls at school started regularly asking if they could "pet" it, as though it was expensive fur... I let them. How generous of me. (Maybe mother was right about the "benefits" after all).

Today, at a more manageable length, I am regularly asked "is that a perm?" When I say it's natural, they are baffled, then they get jealous.

Curly hair can be a pain at times...

Aside from female fascination, the only real benefit I've found is the ability to have a different hairstyle every day... depending on how I brush / comb it when it's wet. Even then, it has the habit of changing throughout the day with a mind of its own.

Please clue me in... why is my hair so interesting to some women?

Could you handle it or freak out?

Would it change your world view very much?

One also wonders how society at large would be affected. Would the paranoid people be listened to or would they be treated as a tin-foil hat laughing stock?

(This is just a hypothetical so you can go anywhere fun with the answers like "yes, please let it be Vulcans, not Klingons or Ferengi")

Get some milk ;)