harper

I'm 19 and seeing a guy (20) from my college for the past 2 months. We hang out a lot - he almost always initiates getting together, it often but not always leads to sex and sleepover. We laugh a lot and have a good time together. He has told me he's in love with me but only when he's been drunk so I don't take that seriously. But I do know he likes me and I definitely like him a lot. As far as labels, we are still in the "hanging out" stage, not officially dating. I'm not hooking up with anyone else and he says he is not, either.

He has never had a girlfriend but has definitely had flings and has experience with girls. I don't know if this is why he hasn't actually asked me to be his girlfriend (he just doesn't know how to have a girlfriend or "official" committed relationship), or if he is just using me until something better comes along. I'm really confused. We have talked about it a little and he has said that we will get to that point eventually. I do not want to bug him about it to the point that he gets turned off so I'm hoping someone out there has some good insight and advice.

I'm almost embarrassed to admit that I am having a tough time getting over my teenage daughter's recent break up with her boyfriend of 3 years. It was a very sweet relationship for most of the time they were together. He wasn't necessarily a member of our family, but we were very fond of him and very happy that her first serious boyfriend was someone who treated her so well. Toward the end of the relationship there were some rough patches, probably because they're teenagers and because he will be going away to college in the Fall. So, I was not surprised that it ended but very sad that it seemed to be on bad terms with my daughter obviously hurt. As I understand it, they have talked a bit to heal some of the bad feelings. But I am still sad...I realize that I am sad for me, not just my daughter. I'm going to miss this kid! Is this normal? Any advice for how to deal with this?

I suspect my daughter and her long-term boyfriend will be getting engaged soon. Although I am sure he is financially capable of buying a nice engagement ring for my daughter, I have a beautiful 2 carat diamond ring passed down from my mother that I would be thrilled for my daughter to have as an engagement ring. Should I have a private conversation with the boyfriend? My only hesitation is giving him the impression that he must use the family heirloom if he would rather pick out a ring on his own. Advice very much appreciated, especially from any males out there!

I am asking for any advice from and experieneced parent and/or someone around the same age who can relate to my daughter's point of view.

My 14 year old daughter and the boys she has been best friends with since elementary school are finally reaching that point where it is obvious they have feelings for eachother. They've both "dated" (which at this age mostly means texting or group parties and football games) other people but have always stayed close. Here's the thing. I can tell they really like eachother by the way they act when they are around eachother. I was concerned so I looked at some of her texts and they are talking about how they want to date, want to be eachothers "firsts" for everything even though they both agree they have to wait until they are older to have sex. They have told eachother I love you.

I know that kids feelings at this age can be very strong. I also know that they can be fickle. I am fine letting my daughter explore her feelings with this boys but how to I let her know that what he feelis today may not be as intense tomorrow? Not to mention the physical stuff. I know that kids this age kiss and make out. I can't see how they would have the opportunity for anything to go much further but I would like to somehow explain to her that she needs to take slow steps with the physical parts of relationships at this age. She is way to young for sex. I believe she realizes that. I'm just looking for the write words to talk to her without lecturing her about respecting herself and realizing that taking things very slow is the best way. Any good advice?

My mom and her friend took me and her friend's son to the the movies the other night. He and I are both 14. We've always kind of had a crush on eachother but it can be kind of awkward because our moms are such good friends. So, during the movie, he takes my hand and holds it. I look at him and say "what are you doing?" and he just looks at me and smiles. We held hands the whole movie. Then when it was over, we got up and went home. Nothing else. I'm confused? What does this mean?

This involves a 13 year old girl in our community and three 13 year old boys. Last weekend "Annie" attended a boy/girl party with several other school friends. She was seen going in and out of the woods with 3 different boys to make out. She had a sketchy reputation before the party. Now it is completely trashed. At 13, she has already set herself up to be remembered as the class slut. It bothers me as a mom because she is, even at 13, a kid. Kids make mistakes -- especially when it comes to boy/girl stuff. The boys will be teased a little, but its a sad reality that it is always the girls who suffer the most in terms of reputation bashing.

I know her mom. Not well, but I know her. Should I mention anything to her? On one hand, I would definitely want to know if it were my daughter in Annie's position. On the other, I do not want to come across as mettlesome or judgemental.

I am not making any excuses for the boys....their behavior was equally bad. But honestly I am concerned about this girl who obviously has some self esteem issues and mistakes this kind of attention for real affection.

I would like to have an honest answer. I know that teenagers are sexually active at a younger age than I was in the 1980's, but what exactly does that mean? When do they start thinking about sex vs. when do they actually start having sex?

If you suspect I am nervous parent of a teenager....you're right!