hunter d

Well, now that season 2011 has come to an end (all but the Four Nations) there is one question still burning in my mind. Who will fill the shoes of Darren Lockyer? Queensland and Australia captain. I have to say what I am hearing in the media is a little scary! Seems like every where I turn JT has his mouth wide open...flapping his gums..throwing his hat into the ring as Lockey's replacement! And, as a NQ Cowboys fan, I can only shudder @ the thought of that. Let's face facts here. Last time NQ came close to a premiership was in 2005. And ever since then, JT has been at the helm and we have had sh^t for seasons! Only this year, after naming Matt Scott as co-captain, did we have a somewhat successful year. I can not imagine JT trying to captain Queensland against NSW (especially w/their absolute hatred for what we have done to them the last 6yrs). He can't even captain his team! I am sorry! But if Mal chooses JT over Cameron Smith he is just asking to loose! Cameron Smith has WAY more experience then JT does! Cameron has captained Origin & has won! He has been there w/Melbourne for both of their Premierships! He was named co-captain of the Origin team this year. So, I wanted to ask and see what U guys thought. JT or Cameron? And y? And y not the other?

My husband has been on the receiving end of yet another raise in his CS. His income went up this financial year by about $10k. So, of course, as soon as the X-GF found that out..off to Domestic Relations she trotted! Anyways, we were looking @ the papers & noticed something odd. Last year, the cost to raise his kids (he has 3) was X amount. Now, looking @ the newest papers, it is almost $2k higher! WTH? U mean to tell me that in 1 fiscal year the cost of raising a child went up by $2k? Not hardly! Y is it that a woman can not work & not support her child financially & she is rewarded w/a raise in CS? Why is it when a father tries to get ahead..he is automatically yanked back down? Now. b4 any of U say that I am a "whatever" new wife..I was a single, working mother before I got married! I supported my kids financially! I didn't expect the taxpayers to do it for me! And I still work!

Anyways, y is it that the CS system is so unbalanced? We reward a person who is not doing what they need to b doing while punishing a person who is?

Some of you might have seen my recent question about step-parents. This is a new role for me to b in. My hubby & I have been together for 4yrs & I am still trying to "get it right" when it comes to my step-kids! I am "on track" w/2 of them (SS8 & SD4). But my oldest SS12...that is another matter entirely! I just can not "warm up" to this child. He is demanding. Verbally abusive to his father. And a master manipulator. I know it is horrible of me to say these things...but I can't help it! Here are some examples of his behavior:

-We drove down there to "assist" their mother w/taking them to the carnival (she REFUSED to allow us to take them ourselves & this was before we got visitation done thru the court). We went to the carnival..spent WAY too much money on them & when hubby told SS12 "no" about another ride..he started to get really nasty towards hubby. Called him a "cheap prick" & then turned to his mother to ask her for $$ 4 the ride. When she told him "no" (which I dont know why she told him no, she still had FREE vouchers for food, games & rides left!), he accepted that & did not say another word about it.

-He saw that his dad was online one night in a game that they both play (hubby got back into the game @ SS12's request) so he sent him a message (in chat for all to read) saying "Merry Christmas Scumbag! Hope you are enjoying your holiday!" Now, this message was sent AFTER the child being repeatedly told when we would be heading down there for a Christmas visit. And it was 2 days before we were due to leave tht this message was sent!

-His mother lost the internet & phone (due to not paying the bill). So SS12 calls my hubby & asks him if he will pay it (because w/out the internet he can't play his game). Hubby said no. That it was his mom's responsibility to pay the house bills. He pays CS for her to do that. SS12 got very upset & demanded that hubby pay the bill! "What are you gonna do w/that money anyways?"

-If we go anywhere outside of town...SS12 is demanding to know why we are not on our way down there (they live over 600 miles from us & it takes 10hrs to get there). We try and make it once a month down there. But he gets ignorant if we do not come down there on every holiday.

-Hubby is on a dirt bike trip right now. He has gone from our home into SA (we live in Queensland). & on his way back home, he has told the kids that he is going to stop for a visit. SS12 made a comment on hubby's FB page...saying "Y are you over there and not here?" (hubby has a SPOT tracker so we can see where he is). Now, SS12 was told the dates tht hubby thought he would b stopping. And they were almost a week later then the comment!

Now, I know that a lot of this behavior comes from his mother! She (his mom) does not like me or anything to do w/me! And, w/any chance she gets..she tells people her opinion of me (I know this bcuz she calls & talks to my MIL & SIL & rants on & on about me & hubby to them.) She puts these ideas into the kids heads (but swears she does not say anything bad about me or hubby to the kids)..but the only one it seems to stick in is SS12. And the things he says to hubby really hurts his feelings. It was not hubby's choice for them to move so far away..it was mom's. SS12 also thinks tht it is perfectly reasonable for us to pick up our lives & move there! WTH?? I am a mother of 3. And it would b a cold day in hell when I allow my children to speak to an adult in that way..let alone their own flesh & blood! My girls have a step-mother. So it mortifies them when SS12 pulls his crap! I just dont know what to do! I want to get close w/SS12..but I dont see it happening! But I do see me having enuff of his BS & telling him some hard truths tht he needs to see! Can anyone help? Should I totally ignore it? Should I "push" hubby to say something to his mother? Should I demand tht hubby correct & not allow SS12 to get away w/these things? Any advice would b greatly appreciated!

And P.S. don't tell me that this is not my place. SS12 will be in my home here shortly (FINALLY got visitation set up. Much to bio mom's dislike) & b around my children! I do not want this behavior to happen then! My girls love their step-dad like their bio-dad & I will not have 1 tainted child's view try to ruin that!

As both a biological mother & a step-mother, I have read & re-read questions & comments about the way biological mothers hate it when a step-mother "tries to take their place". "They did not give birth to this child..& they need to remember that". But here is where I come unglued: As a biological mother I want my kids to b loved and cared for where ever they are! Especially when they are w/family. And being w/their bio dad & their step-mother IS family. So y would I not wan this woman to treat my kids like her own? But yet, as a step-mother, I am constantly reminded that they are not my kids!! So, I should treat them differently then my own! If my daughter & her step-brother make a really great picture...I should only praise my child? If I am tucking in the kids @ bedtime...I should not tell my step-kids "good night" & "I love them"? I should just leave them out! If my Step-Son asks me to go to his soccer game..I should decline because he is not my kid? See where I am coming from? Kinda leaves step-parents in a "damd if you do... damd if you don't" situation. Because if a step-parent did treat their step-kids differently then their own...then they would catch hell for that (from bio parent). So, asking the parenting community...both steps & biological...what are your thoughts on how step-parents should be expected to behave? Or how U wish they would behave.

I noticed that there have been several restaurants, in the news lately, who have refused to allow children under the age of 5 in (of course, they are w/their parents). I was wondering how parents out there feel about this. I know (as a mother of 3) I do not see an issue w/it. Especially w/the trend of parents not having their children behave in a restaurant. Like it or not, these kids might b the "apple of your eye" but that does not mean tht they are the apples of everyone else! So, as parents, tell me what U guys think about this. Do U see an issue w/it? Or is it totally OK?

My niece is 2 1/2yrs old. She has a total disregard for what anyone tells her! She does not listen when her mom or dad tells her no. She does not listen when her Grandma & Granddad tell her no. She simply smiles and continues on w/whatever she is doing. And the screaming & crying! If she does get taken away from whatever she is being told to stop doing..OMG!! The world is ending! She screams & cries & has made herself sick! And, of course, all the above give right into her! But there is someone she listens to...Me! When I tell her NO she stops & there is no fuss or muss about it! No crying! No screaming! She stops & I show her something else to do. Now, there have been times when I have been around & her mom is telling her NO not to do something. And she simply continues on. Mom repeats over and over and over NO..but she does not listen! My husband has heard this and said to me to say something to my niece (knowing that she will listen). But this is my ?...I feel "bad" jumping in and telling my niece NO when it is not my place! I am not her mother! And, in my opinion, it is her mom & dad's place to get her to listen! So what would you do? Would you jump in & make her stop? Or would you simply sit there and let her continue on w/what she is doing? Or would U wait & c if she listens & if she does not (after a period of time) then would you jump in??

Call me a noob if you like but I am a little confused as to the what, where, when and why of the process of picking a player for the Dally M medal. How does a player 1st get chosen? What determines the votes (actions in the game)? How many points are given per game/per player? Is there a set number of contenders each year?

Thanks ahead of time for the answers guys!!

With Brent Tate's return in the next 2-3 weeks I was wondering if the Y!A Sports community thinks it will make any difference to the Cowboys? He has not gotten to play a game w/the team (hurt in the 4Nations Game pre season). Do you think it will be a good thing? A bad thing? Or really make no difference?

As both a mother and a step-mother I was wondering what some of you think about separate rules, regulations and routines for step-kids when they are in your home & you have your own kids. Do you enforce the rules and routines that your kids are used to? Or do you make separate rules and routines to accomadate your step-kids? Do you think that step-kids should follow the rules and routines of your home?

Now I ask this because I see (and hear) a lot of bio mothers say that when their kids are visiting their other parent...the step-parent should have no say in what that child does or what routines they have while there. When my kids visit their dad & step-mom I know that there are different rules and things there then there are in my home & that is fine w/me! I realize that that is not my home and things are done differently by different people! When my step-kids visit they follow the rules and regulations of my home. Because I do not think it is fair on my kids to have their routine disturbed any more then need be.

So what do you guys think? Should their be separate rules when step-kids visit? Or should they follow the routine of your house?

My SS12 had his tonsils taken out yesterday. My husband called to see how he was doing today (he calls them on their mother's cell phone). And, after a little chit-chat, my SS12 told his dad that they did not have the internet any more...because mom couldn't pay the phone bill. He then asked my husband (his dad) if he could send some money down to pay the bill. My SS12 then proceeded to tell his dad that the bill was over $400. My husband told SS12 no. Then SS12 started w/the whole "well U have a lot of money", "U are working all this overtime" & "U don't need all that money". Needless to say, he succeeded in making my husband feel bad...but did not succeed in getting the money! So now he can't sit on the computer and play WOW (neither can his mom for that matter).

Here is the thing..this woman has no issue w/asking (or better...demanding) more money from my husband. Seems like we are in court every other month w/her wanting to raise CS. Actually, we were just in there 2 months ago because she wanted more $$..and it remained the same! But I think it is sh^tty that she would put it on SS12 to ask for this money! Did she do it thinking it would work & my husband would send the money??

So, I am asking all the other parents out there...what would U have done? Would you have sent $400 so SS12 could have his internet (and so could mom) or not? I mean, this is not like water or food or shelter..it is the internet! And, b4 anyone says, my husband pays his CS every 2 weeks and there are NO arrears! Tell me what U would have done!

My SS12 just had his tonsils taken out a few days ago. My husband called today to see how he was doing. After a little bit of chit-chat my SS12 told my husband that they did not have the internet any more because mom couldn't pay the phone bill (husband calls the SK on their mom's cell). And then he asked if my husband could send them some money to pay the bill! My husband said no..& my SS12 started w/the whole "well U have a lot of money", "U are working overtime", "what else do you need that money for?", etc. Now, husband pays his CS every 2 weeks and is totally current on that (no arrears).

I just think it is really sh^tty of his X GF to have their oldest son ask for the money! Now, this is a woman who has NO ISSUE w/asking for other things! No problem taking my husband back to court to try and raise his CS whenever she wants to! Actually, she just tried to get it raised 2 months ago & it remained the same. She knew he would not do it if she asked..and then she would have to answer as to why she was not paying the bill. So she has my SS12 ask..thinking it would work!

Now my husband feels bad & wants to send her some money! This is not like electric or food or clothes or water. It is the internet! He understands how I feel. But he is upset by his son's reaction. And, btw, the bill is well over $400 & SS12 asked for $350.

If you were in our position, would you send the $350 or not. And, either way, what are some of your reasons?

Hubby & I have just found out that we are expecting our 1st child together & we are both over the moon! We have decided to wait until after my 1st trimester to tell the family (I am 7wks along). My daughters live w/us. So I doubt that we will be able to keep it from them...but we will sure try! We want to get all the family together for a BBQ..& tell them that way! But here is my dilemma...how do we tell my step-kids about the new baby? Here is a brief history...

-Bio mom & hubby have 3 kids together.

-Bio mom decided to move 10hrs away (w/the kids) & refuses to allow them to come up here & visit w/out her being invited (she wont even allow Grandparents to get them for a visit).

-She has said horribly nasty things about me & hubby to anyone who will listen.

-She constantly bad mouths me & hubby to kids.

-When we drive there to visit the kids she INSISTS on being invited to whatever we do (or the kids are not allowed to go) & then she makes snide comments to hubby about anything he does (but not loud enuff for kids to hear bcuz she tries to portray the "wonderful mommy who tries to get along w/everyone")

-Bio mom has made the comment to hubby that him and I should not have any kids together...because it will cheapen their kids together.

Now, we have a visit planned for my SS7 b-day in July. And then another towards the end of August (we drive there once a month to see them). Hubby thinks this is OUR news & bio mom has no business being present when we tell the kids. I agree that it is OUR news...but disagree on bio mom not being present. In my opinion, if she is there, and the kids see her initial reaction when she tries to say something negative about it...they will call her on it (most of the **** she pulls is behind the kids' backs or ours). So here is my ?.....how would U tell the step kids about their new sibling? Would U do it w/mom there or not?

Prime Minister Julia Gillard is now saying that she will cut parenting payments to teen mums who do not go back to school or get job training. She has stated that the lack of school/training leads to a lifetime of welfare payments. Is she serious? Teen mums are not as much of a drain on the system as older mothers are. How about cutting payments for single mothers who have HS diplomas/college degrees/job training who flatly REFUSE to go back to work? And use the excuse that it is their right to sit @ home 2 take care of their kids. Completely ignoring the fact that it is also their responsibility to FINANCIALLY support their kids! What are ur thoughts on this? Do U think that cutting payments for teen mums will make a dent in the welfare payouts? Or do U think that there should b cuts made for older mums who have the skills to work & simply refuse? What cuts would U make if U could?

As both a bio-mother and a step-mother I have seen a lot of other bio-moms go off their rocker when their child calls their step-mom "mom" or any variation of the name. Apparently, because they gave birth to that child, it is a title reserved for only bio-moms. Y is this? Are we, as mothers, really that scared that another person can take our place w/our children? As a bio-mom, my kids were given the choice to call their step-mom whatever they chose! And they chose to call her Momma T. Fine by me! But my step-kids are not allowed to call me ANYTHING w/the word "mom" in it! So I ask...are we as mothers really that insecure w/our children's ability to distinguish between bio-mom and step-mom? Do some mothers simply think because they gave birth to that child that they are entitled to that name? Is it such a crime for our children to have another person in their lives that loves them the same as we do? Y do some women go off their rocker when step-mom gets called mom (or any variation)? Let's see what the Y!A community has to say about this! :o)

http://au.news.yahoo.com/queensland/a/-/latest/903...

As U can see by this article, the detainees on Christmas Island have decided that they have had enough of being supported by the Australian Government. They have set fire to parts of the detention center. As far as I know, arson is a crime! These people, for whatever their lame reasons were, have now committed a crime against the very country they want to shelter them! In my opinion, they need to have their a$$es deported! People in the surrounding community DO NOT feel safe living in the homes that they have bought w/their hard earned money! These people want to seek :asylum" here in Australia to escape the violence in their homeland? But yet they bring the very violence they are claiming to b escaping! What is your opinion? Deport them immediately for their crime? Turn the other way & act like it didn't happen? This was not one or 2 people...but over 200!! And do not tell me about the "poor" conditions there on Christmas Island! These people left a lot worse in their own country! Give me your feedback Y!A!

I am currently living in Townsville, Queensland Australia & am dying for a Full Throttle Blue Demon! I was wondering if any in the Y!A community might know where I can get one here or where I can have them shipped from in the USA! And before any1 says to try USA Foods..been there...and they have NONE!

My brother has just broken the news to me that him & his wife are expecting their 1st child! And I am anything less then excited! His wife is an uneducated (didn't graduate from HS & has no GED) Military Mooch (my bro is in the US Army). They got married 6 months after their 1st date! She has tried everything to break the bond between me & my bro...to the extent of not giving me the hotel & wedding info when they got married (She did not tell me what hotel the guests were in & she waited till the last minute to tell me where the wedding was. We were flying in from Australia to the US). My brother has done 4 tours in Afghan and she has caused drama w/every tour. On this last one, he was coming home & divorcing her (because he caught her sending pics & **** to other guys). And now this! I know, as family, I should be happy for my brother but I just can't be! This baby is just another way for her to continue to get $$ & not have to work. She is not mature enough to pay the household bills while my bro was gone. How is she going to manage a house & a baby? And I have the fear that this baby is stopping my bro from divorcing her. So I was wondering...how can I tell my brother that I am happy for him when I am not? I have never lied to him about my feelings before (he knows exactly how I felt about her). That is our relationship. I really do want to be happy for him (not her) but I do not know how! Can someone give me some hints how to get happy about being an aunt? Thanks!

As the mother of 3, I often wonder where we went wrong as a society! When did it become OK for a woman to decide she was going to be a SAHSM (Stay At Home Single Mother) & we, as a society, would pick up the tab? A woman makes the conscious decision to have a child. She then makes the conscious decision to not work & stay @ home w/said child. And then she expects us, as the taxpayers, to pay for her decisions!! Why is she not being made to pull her own weight? After all, it was HER decision..not ours! She goes after the father for Child Support. Fine. But then the man is hit twice! His tax dollars go to her welfare & his CS goes as well! When did all this become OK? And what sh^ts me is SAHSMs tell working mothers that they are not good mothers! WTF? I am sorry! But as a single, working mother...I was a DAM good mother! I set the example for my kids that U need to get out in life & work for what U want! Unlike the example of a SAHSM! Who simply shows their kids that they will get whatever they want handed to them by every1 else! Can some1 out there please tell me when we, as a society, became accountable for the conscious decisions of an individual?? And is there anything U can think of that might remedy this situation?

I will try and keep this as short as possible! Here is some key info:

-I have 3 kids

-Hubby has 3 kids (from an X GF). He has never missed a CS payment over the last 3 almost 4yrs. His X will drag him in for reassessments whenever the mood strikes her (we have gone in every 3 months for the last year). It has gotten raised $25/fortnight (bi-weekly) for all her efforts.

-I get CS for my kids. Haven't touched the order 4 the last 9yrs. Except for the review every 3yrs.

Now, knowing all that...we just found out something. When hubby was dragged in 4 yet another CS reassessment, he was now allowed to claim his 3 step-daughters (caseworker claimed that the Equal Treatment principal had just came into effect)! The cost of raising them (step-kids) was subtracted from his original income. And then the new income amount was used to calculate his CS for his bio kids. Now. I am sure that a lot of u will have nasty things to say! "How this is unfair to his bio-kids!" "He should have 2 pay more for his bio-kids"! Etc! Etc! But let's b honest here. It is almost 2011. And there are more mixed families then their are "original 1s". So y shouldn't CS reflect that? Y is it such a bad thing that a man's step-children are not treated like 2nd class citizens to his bio-kids? Do U see this new principal as a small step forward for the step-family? Take it easy on me! :o)

Here is some info on the new principal (the Equal Treatment is #4):

http://www.fahcsia.gov.au/sa/childsupport/pubs/Pop...

How do I go about getting my emergency department records? I will need them for a trip to the US I am planning early next year! I don't know if I just walk in there & ask for them? Or is there a form I need to fill out? Will I get the originals or copies? I live in Townsville, Queensland.