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  • How can I relieve social anxiety?

    I am a 24 year old guy and I have had social anxiety for almost 10 years, and it is driving me almost insane. I am very sad and frustrated at myself for not being able to do things others do so easily, like making friends or being in a relationship. I cannot even talk to other people without feeling hopeless and inferior. Most of the time I just defeat myself before others have a chance to even evaluate me, I don't give them that chance. I have been thinking of suicide many times, but thoughts of my family prevent me from doing it. I basically stay in my room most of the time and talk to myself many times, making jokes out loud and laughing at them since I have no one else to talk to. That is pretty pathetic. The pain of it all is always there, I just can't stand it anymore. I am just so caught up in my own inabilities that I can't focus on my work or other people. Does someone have any advice to help me?

    3 AnswersMental Health9 years ago
  • Very alone in my life, due to social anxiety and inferiority complex!?

    I was wondering if someone can help me with my chronic problem. I feel so inferior to everyone else, that I think I don't deserve any happiness. I am subhuman because I can't speak to others due to my social anxiety, I feel tense and my speech becomes disjointed when I talk to people I don't know, and even with those I do know, I can't let go and enjoy. This is because I don't trust people, or what they are thinking. There are so many people in the world that are not genuine, they think something else and say something else. When people talk to me, they are probably thinking that I am a loser, or someone arrogant who does not talk. When I walk past someone from my class I sometimes look at my phone, sometimes somewhere else, but most of the time downwards. I think I am inferior, I can't say hello since I am not equal. I am inferior because of many reasons. I am 5'6'', tan skinned, with pimples, and slightly overweight. I have watched a lot of anime, sometimes more than once. I have never had a girlfriend, nor a true friend. I am 22 years old. Some things I like about myself are that I am intelligent (I am a sophomore in medical school), kind to others when they ask for help, never malicious to anyone, never manipulative, never 2 faced. I am inside what I am outside to people. I think it is far, far more important for me to improve as a human being than to become smarter and get better grades than others. But all of this is not what people value, as far as I can tell. They value someone who is confident in himself, someone with social skills (I do have social skills but they remain suppressed, as does my personality, due to my inferiority complex). I think about what I have missed in life, and what I continue to miss, and it kills me. I want to just shut myself in a room and play video games all day and night, since meeting people who are all better than me is just too damn painful and hopeless.

    6 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • I have social anxiety and a high degree of shyness towards anyone. How to relieve?

    Sometimes I wish to stay locked up in my apartment watching TV and movies for several days like I did in undergrad. I did not go out much, but now that I am in medical school, I have to go to class, and the library to study. But I can't talk to people. I feel so inferior to everyone. I don't consider myself a human like other humans, I am just not worth talking to or having any sort of relationship. I mean it is completely unthinkable for someone to actually like me, since I don't like myself. I have just a shred of confidence for daily sustenance, just to walk around and respond to what others say, or sometimes to start a conversation which is boring. I probably look like the most stuck up person on the planet, since I am so serious all the time and don't smile. But I am afraid to smile, afraid to open up to others. I see myself as a defense, a shield. Solitude is painful but not as painful as being hurt by someone you trust in. That just makes you feel like an idiot, a dog. I have never had real friends, nor a girlfriend. I only have my family to depend on, but they can't help me. All they tell me is to look at the positives, that I am brilliant, kind and fair to others, naive, caring for those I love. I started to exercise a few weeks ago everyday, but I have not felt much change in my attitude. I have been bullied a lot in my childhood, for about 2-3 years. I don't have a close relationship with my dad since he like to point out my flaws when he has some tension in his mind. When he is back to normal, I don't want to like him because it would just hurt to have relations. Why does everyone have something else on their mind, some motive, betrayal scheme, or undercurrent? I can't figure out how to help myself out of this vicious cycle.

    4 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • I am having real trouble with confidence, can someone plz help?

    I have a habit of comparing myself to others. It is like an immediate reflex, I start comparing anything: hair, clothes, shoes, face, body language, friends, happiness anything in front of me. And I win very few, but lose a lot of comparisons. That makes me immensely insecure in this sort of self torture. I know this is wrong to do, but I can't break this habit. I can't think of people as equal, since everyone had different circumstances and different social skills, outlooks, mindsets, how can we be equal? I feel inferior to so many people I meet, that is why I don't go out, talk to many people, or have friends. Having a girlfriend is unthinkable, not even impossible. I have never had one, nor held hands or any of that. All I have tried to do is break out of my shell and push my boundaries, because it is the unknown that is scaring me, I just need to break that unknown. But I feel scared of defeat and further loss of self-confidence, it is pretty fragile. Another main point is that I am not fake at all, and I don't know how to be fake. I am true to myself, my mind and outside are the same. I enjoy having funny conversations, but I am looking for depth in a real relationship.

    A few things about myself: I am 22, male, 5'6'' and I go to the gym to run almost everyday for 30 mins. I have always been a modest guy, I don't think highly of my endowments or anything like that. I guess I don't value my uniqueness. I am in medical school and going for my dreams, my career to become excellent. I have always tried my best, and when I set my mind at something, I get it done. But I have no courage to ask girls out, or have the confidence in myself. I have started to go to the gym as a new year's resolution, and seen a lot of difference in my attitude. But it is absolutely overwhelming to me when I meet other people, since I can't say hi, or smile. I remain serious, since I find it difficult to talk. I think people are thinking about how lame I am, or how boring, or how conceited. But I know I have a dynamic personality, I love to have fun. I was a hyperactive kid till 14, but then all this started and really made me cramp up into a shell. I don't know what is wrong with me, but it has really shut off all the doors in my life.

    8 AnswersSingles & Dating1 decade ago
  • Negative self image and poor self esteem, how to fix it?

    I am a 22 year old medical student. I am a person who thinks about life in depth, issues of how to live life, cultivate virtues, improve consistently. I firmly believe that everyone, including myself, should become a good human being, before becoming a good whatever else. That is why I have tried to always be compassionate, help others, share the joy and pain of others. I think that is my purpose in life, to give to others. I volunteered at an ER a few years ago for the summer, and found enlightenment. As you can tell, I think differently from most people. I have never manipulated anyone, nor had a grudge for anyone, nor embarrassed or offended anyone. I always forgive and forget any offense towards me. I know who I am, and I would never change what I am, my uniqueness. But I have a great concern that has completely shut all the doors in my life.

    My self esteem is fragile because subconsciously and directly I compare myself with others. In a way that is depreciating myself, I realize that. But I have found no way to change my attitude. I don't go out because I compare myself with others, and I really don't have what I think other people value. I am only 5'6'', I have had acne for years, I am slightly overweight, and when I talk to others I don't know how to small talk. I believe in having intelligent, witty and funny conversations. I believe in directly knowing someone else, their true self. I keep myself transparent, without a facade. I have never had a false sense of self, I kept it real. But I don't think that is how people work. Society enforces the establishment and maintenance of personality masks. I never felt that I belonged, and kept myself isolated from others through college (since age 18). I think I have lost a lot since then. Even before that, I have never had a true friend, had a girlfriend, a date or even holding hands or anything like that. I think it is completely unthinkable that a girl can actually be attracted to some aloof, cold- looking guy like me. The only reason I am like this is because I am sad and becoming frustrated from my loneliness. I don't smile much. I am not open with others, and it's much easier to disappear in the background. I am starting to feel that if I succeed at something, I fail at something else, it never ends. I don't go out, because I see people having fun and I know I can not have any fun, it feels like despair. Since I have to go to class, small groups, and the library to study, after 10 weeks of human interactions, I can't take it anymore. All the despair and pain comes out by crying, I cry for 20-25 minutes as if a member of my family died. It's loud, wet and frankly pathetic. I know exercise helps to build self esteem, but I don't want to go to the gym and have familiar faces looking at me. I also worry a lot about my future, my exams, and my thumbs have been scarred from constant rubbing, picking and scratching for years. Sometimes I like insomnia till 5 am, since in the morning I am exhausted, defeated and then a restful, passive, blank sleep begins with no dreams.

    3 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • Very shy person, not having much confidence to talk to people...?

    I am a shy guy, and for as long as I can remember I have always been shy. It is purely from lack of confidence around people. I lose confidence because I think people are judging me, and then I start to conform by making "small talk", the accepted vernacular. But that is not me, I am just trying to be someone else. When I do this, I screw up, since I can't talk straight, cause it feels like lying. My sentences have become disjointed and I can't confidently complete or start a conversation. I just can't be myself, since I think people like to put others down in their minds, by noticing some flaw, some problem, some inequality they can latch on. That is why I have never had a good friend, only few acquaintances. I am 22 right now, and this had being going on since 14. When I talk to my younger sister, I am very very open, and being myself. That is when I am happy, since I am myself. With anyone else, I have a stoic appearance, not wanting to smile much. I go to medical school where I think everyone acts like a snob and tries to be better than someone else. I know who I am, a smart, talented, and very personable, but I can't come out of this mindset, this entrapment. That just shuts off all the doors, everything becomes rigid and suffocating. What should I do?

    7 AnswersFriends1 decade ago
  • Academic anxiety is leaves me frustrated, sad, and finally tired. What can I do?

    Hi guys,

    I am a first year medical student right now. For as long as I can remember, I have gotten straight As all through my life. Come to think of it, since 8th grade or so I have never gotten semester grades less than As. This is not to brag of anything, but I feel like it was a hollow victory. I don't feel any better, since it took a lot out of my time, my life and joy. I have continued this in this half year of medical school so far, getting As in anatomy, biochemistry, genetics and so forth. This is true even though I only need 70% to pass. But I feel one thing: if I don't study around 18 hrs a day until the exam, I worry I will not be able to answer the questions. Even though so far I have been able to do so, I still feel that the exam will be very hard, and only manageable if I study at that level. And I do that, I have been studying for around 16-18 hours a day for many days now. I sacrificed so much of my sleep for this anxiety. I feel that if I don't study this much, I will fail, I won't do well. I take it very seriously. It really drains me everyday, I memorize each and every word from every lecture. My life has pretty much become going to lecture to meet my friends, going to library to study, eating in 10 mins, library, eating, home to study, 15 mins of music, study, sleep. And repeat the next day. How can I get out of this mess?

    2 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • I am very depressed about my body image, especially my height.?

    I'm a highly intelligent junior in college, and am accepted into medical school. I have had any success I have wanted to have, I just needed to try and I achieved it. But something like height is just out of the question. I have been 5'6'' since age 15, and now I am 20 yrs old. Because of this, I don't think I am attractive to girls, so I haven't tried to ask them out or talk to them. I also haven't made many long term friends, let alone make any short term ones, all because I hate my height. I wish I was at least 5'9'', because this body image thing has taken away most of my confidence in myself. Even short girls who are like 5'1'' like tall 6'0'' guys. I know that I am a good looking guy, but I don't take care of myself in terms of skin care or working out, just because even after doing all that, I don't think girls will like me because of my height. It doesn't even matter if I am articulate, caring, polite and funny, girls won't think of me as a potential mate. Is that true?

    4 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • Please give constructive, serious answers to this problem..?

    I just can't seem to dwell on the positive aspects of being me. I am an intelligent individual, recently accepted into medical school after 3 years in college, a 4.0 GPA, taking very hard courses and extracurriculars as well. Imagine a bunch of caverns underneath a ground on which I am standing. The ground was like quicksand before I got into medical school (I kept sinking into the caves, since I had nothing left), but after getting in, it feels like I am standing on wood. I will still fall in however. I don't like to talk to other people, because I just don't trust them. It is hard to make even an effort at a relationship, I always fear what others are thinking. I don't think any girl finds me attractive since I am short, serious, and can't seem to have fun. I feel defeat everywhere around me, as if nothing is gonna change. What is the point of even living when I am not happy, when I don't have any real friends, when I have not had a single relationship with any girl. I am too scared to approach girls, dress and act better since I think it won't have an effect. I can't stand being defeated after trying, I will only try when I am sure of a victory. I see any obstacle as a defeat unless I have achieved victory over it. But I just can't change these things, it seems hopeless. I can't stand losing, I want to win at all costs. As if my life has no meaning when I lose. It still doesn't have any real meaning, since I have wasted a prime time of my youth, and in medical school, even if I wanted to, I won't have time for a relationship or fun for that matter. I have always tried to distract myself with studying when I am thinking about my hollow life, so these are just hollow victories. I am very frustrated with my life, I wish I had no hope at all so I could die without any regrets of whether the future would be better.

    5 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • I think I am in love with this girl, but I am not sure?

    I have known a girl since high school from 10th grade onwards. I have rarely talked to her, but she has been in my classes from 10th to 12th grade math, and then she came to the same college as me. I have seen her around sometimes in college for 1.5 yrs now. I just can't take her out of my mind, I think about her everyday. I want to know her, and I have told my friends and sister about her. My sister thinks she isn't that pretty, but I think she is gorgeous. She holds a special place, I can never think penis-driven thoughts that every guy has when he sees a nice looking gal when seeing her. I have felt like this for 6 yrs now, but the problem is, she has had a boyfriend, the same one, for that time too. Even though it is a long distance relationship, they r probably pretty close I imagine. I tried to tell myself that this is just a crush or chronic attraction, but I think I will never get tired from thinking about her.

    6 AnswersSingles & Dating1 decade ago
  • I have no confidence to build a social life from scratch...?

    My social life is near zero, I have one real friend who I can't even fully trust. My academic life has become my only life, since I only want to succeed, achieve my career, and that equals winning. But I have have known for years now that this "win" is only 20% of what a life should be. I have been defeated at the other 80% of my life, which is what people call "having a life". Not only female "companionship", but other factors like a good family rapport, a friend network, other social circles, sports, hobbies, spiritual life, etc. most of which constitute having fun, are completely absent from my life. I believe that it is impossible to carve out some sort of life out of these things. I am too afraid to begin going out, having friends, opening up, talking to others openly, having confidence, because I am truly certain that anything that can go wrong will go wrong with all these starts, shattering the tiny fragments of confidence that allow me to continue my daily life in my depressed state, the thin ice. I hate myself for having such imperfections, basically not looking handsome, confident, alive, that people use to judge others. I am not even qualified to have any friends, or have a girlfriend, or be married, because of such imperfections which I can never change, but I find them horrible and unacceptable. It makes me rage with anger at times, usually it is a quiet anger, inside me for these things. I can never keep up with the standards of others, so why should I meet anyone else. It makes me furious, frustrated, disgusted with this world, with this society, with this life. And the worst part is, I will never be happy or even satisfied until I can accept myself, which is when others will accept me.

    1 AnswerMental Health1 decade ago
  • My confidence and image is constantly hindered by the world...?

    I feel like there is a sense of defeat everywhere I look. Anything I do has to turn that defeat, push against it, to make it victorious. The resistance involves mental struggle, and I feel as if pieces of my mind are being shredded while I am doing something new which involves confidence. I have developed myself academically to a somewhat high level: I am a 4.0 college student, premed, applying to med school right now. I know that I have potential to achieve what I want, that is why I constantly and rigorously challenge myself academically. Sleepless nights and long hours of study only make me sharper in mind and give me self-confidence. But this is absolutely meaningless when I think about the enormous task of actually "having a life". I have never gone out with a girl, or had any sort of relationship in my life. I don't have any real friends, because I feel closed and rigid when I meet someone. I feel that people are constantly judging me, hence, I feel absolutely disgusted and angry at my imperfections. I am an antisocial person out of necessity, and the only way to save the tiny fragments of confidence which I gain from my academic prowess is to withdraw from everyone. I look at the world as win or lose, I am too afraid to lose to try and win with such odds against me. I can predict that there will be sharp edges of social scorn piercing me if I were to open up, so its better to be self-defeated than by everyone else.

    1 AnswerMental Health1 decade ago
  • What is this song playing at 1:00 in episode 51 of Naruto?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pcntNJ5oE6E&feature...

    This link leads to a youtube video that has the music playing at 1:00. I really want to know what the name of this music is. I have looked in all the OST to no avail, I did not find the song. Please, if someone can tell me the song, I will greatly appreciate it.

    1 AnswerDrama1 decade ago
  • I have been utterly defeated, I don't care about living anymore...?

    I really don't care if I died right now, it would not matter in the least. I have no dreams for the future that really matter, because no matter how much I achieve, I have already lost. I am a straight A's student since 1st grade, applying to medical school, but all that is just 20% of what my life should be. Instead, it is my whole life. I take notes on all my textbooks, spend a lot of time studying even if I don't need to. I only do it because I don't want to think about anything else, everything else is a failure in my eyes. I have never really made any true friends since 4th grade, just acquaintances, I really don't trust anyone, they are always judging my appearance, 5'6'' height, Indian, acne. No one cares about talent, I have some I admit, and I don't really want to talk to anyone, I like being alone now. I am 20 years old, I have already lost so much in my life that it is impossible to get it all in the life ahead. My career and academic record is all just a facade to the endless pain and void, like a flimsy raft on an endless ocean. I have never had a girlfriend, and I don't want to ask a girl, she will only reject me and take away what little dignity to survive I have, which is only held by threads of rational intelligence. I don't want to do anything, my application, my studies are now also becoming half-hearted. I just want to stay at home and watch anime all day, stay in some other reality and not notice my own, it is too depressing to watch.

    9 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • I can't prioritize my life, and what real success is?

    I am 20 yrs old, male, never gone out, had a girlfriend. I like being alone, I can't trust people too much. They are probably thinking I am not fun to be around, a nerd, they all love to judge. I am trying to get into medical school, and so far I have never gotten a B+ in my entire life, always A's. But all this seems absolutely bullshit, it has no worth at all. I am only pursuing these grades to meet the godlike expectations of medical school admissions committee, they don't care about my sacrifice, courage, willpower, determination, and mental loss, emotional loss, the countless nights I spent studying all night for so many exams and projects. I am so afraid to fail at academics, even more than death by car running over me. As if my entire life is precariously balancing on a small table of books, and looking down is just nothing. No one even gives a damn about what I have accomplished, I only care for about 2 hours after my transcript comes, then it all useless. My plan is that after I get into med school, I will have 3 months in college to enjoy. But I don't know how to talk to women, go out, party, even have fun, even to smile. I hate feeling positive, cause I know something bad will happen very soon and just break it. Even after I become a doctor, I know what will happen, I will just get sued many times, will have a wife who divorces me, takes 1/2 my money, and I am bankrupt working at 7/11. So basically, everything worst that can happen will happen with me, my fight is to desperately try and change it, moderate it. But there are so many areas to change, I will fail no matter what.

    6 AnswersPsychology1 decade ago
  • I feel sad, angry and frustrated, completely worn down...please help?

    I work very hard, extremely hard, to get good grades, night fly by without sleep, days with meals that seem like wasting time away from studies, and information cramming into my brain over and over. Then, exhausted, I go to bed at around 9 am or so the next day, and sleep for 10 hours till 7 pm. Then, it starts all over again. I am a premed student studying for my genetics class and MCAT in summer, I am worn down right now. No matter how much work I put in, no body cares, there is no meaning to it. I have a 4.0 GPA, but it is useless, because I applied to a medical school program recently that only takes 12 people per year, and did not get it, even with all that and research work, and volunteering. I am just sick of impressing these admissions people, I resent them all. They have nothing better to do than propose extremely high standards, as if they are gods judging me into heaven. All my late nights for 2 years, my effort, my commitment, my sacrifice of having fun, all a big waste.

    6 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • Can someone please help me figure it all out?

    I am very sad, and I am constantly tensed, worried about my future. I cry uncontrollably once every 5 weeks, as if waves and waves of pain surge up and up in tears and gasps. It lasts for about half an hour. I have tried so hard to succeed: I am trying to become a doctor, I am studying pre-medicine, have a 4.0 GPA, I was involved in research and plenty of health care volunteering activities, as well as extracurriculars. I recently applied to a program that could have given me selection into medical school, but they did not pick me, even after the interview, only 12 people were to be selected. I am so sick and tired of proving myself to others, I have no life and no fun, I take everything negatively. As if everything is trying to defeat me, break me. I only want to give my life some meaning by having a career, a family in the future, but other than that, there is nothing to live for. Love, peace, and happiness are all cancelled for me, and I am too tired to even try for them.

    10 AnswersMental Health1 decade ago
  • What do you think about college professors if you are premed?

    I ******* hate my physics professors right now, and they are the only ones we can take, 628 people without any choice but to take those hard *** mutherfukers. All of us got raped on the first test, and then they made the next test easy. The average on the first exam was a 10.3/20, and the prof's say it is good. That is an F goddamit. The third test was again hard, and I don't know wtf the final is gonna be like. I liked physics so much, but these assholes make me hate it now.

    All of us premeds have to keep our grades up at A's, there is so much pressure and mental stress. And these fukers are just dragging you down. They are playing with my life, since my grades will determine me getting into a good medical school or not, and my future career. That is so unfair that just the professor you get determines your grade, not the class. The class might be easy, but if the professor is hard, then the class is hard. What a piece of cockadookee.

    2 AnswersHigher Education (University +)1 decade ago
  • How can I ask this girl out? She is on a whole different level...?

    I don't know if this is love or just plain infatuation, but I have liked this girl for 5 years. After she came to my college as a freshwoman (I am a sophomore) I have seen her facebook profile almost everyday, and know all her friends and her personality somewhat. I have not talked to her much in high school, but she was in my math class for 3 years. She has had a few bf's and seems to change them every few months. I think she is very beautiful, not the most, but who likes the most beautiful person ever right? She is very cute, very smart, and very athletic. I am like a nerd, don't go out much, basically serious, but I love to have fun, talk, make jokes and laugh a lot. MY main problem is that I am shy, at parties, and especially near girls. I just think I am not good enough many times. I really want to just tell her how I feel, at least I would have tried. All other girls I have ever liked have been only temporary infatuations, nothing more. But 5 years, I have fallen for her maybe.

    1 AnswerSingles & Dating1 decade ago
  • Please I am really frustrated with this, someone help...?

    Orgo 1, the hardest, most boring, irrelevant, confusing, detailed, frustrating, and draining class I have ever taken. My life has been ruined by this class (I can't enjoy life at all). I am taking Orgo 1, Physics 1, Bio 2, Chem 2 lab, Physics 1 lab, and Bio 2 lab all at the same time. It is crazy, and I have A's in all the courses except for Orgo man pisses me off. My 4.0 GPA, which I worked so hard to maintain, will be ruined by a B probably, I might get a B+, but not an A in Orgo. I am a premed and I hate this class, it is so useless. I love anything with numbers and math, and I love anything with anatomy and physiology. Also this semester, I had 2 exams on the same day TWICE (orgo and bio on the same day) omfg. And orgo was in the morning at 8. God all these things against me working to defeat and destroy me this semester. I am so frustrated. Orgo 2 will be even harder, a B in that will screw me even more. Once I am in med school, its all good, it's something I enjoy. Please advise.

    5 AnswersPsychology1 decade ago