Garden Girl

Looking for advise. I have 1 daughter age 16 and my partner has 2 sons age 9 and 14. We have been dating for 2 years and have recently decided to move into my home to help with finances. We both agreed not to parent each others children.

Our children are extremely different and have been raised differently and it is creating issues that we do not know how to resolve.

We have his kids every other weekend.

My Child

I have been very fortunate in that my daughter has always wanted to help in the household. My daughter cleans and cooks and takes care of many of our pets.

I have raised my daughter to be kind to others, even those that are different. Tolerance is important to us and we always go out of our way to help others in need (we donate food, toys, and time when we can). My daughter donates time at the school to help other kids. We go to counseling monthly together just because divorce is hard and we work through things. Been doing this for years .

His Kids

There is no nice way to say this but the kids are dirty. They do not bath regularly. They do not clean up and make some serious messes in the house. I will come home to food and wrappers all over the place....clothing left...toys and papers everywhere. The bathroom is horrendous. The older son who is high functioning autistic treats my daughter very poorly to the point that I have had to step in and put him in his place (nicely). They do not listen to their father and have really bad bouts of temper tantrums. The kids do nothing but cause problems, watch TV and play video games.

I have had conversations with my partner and he understands the issue but when he tries to intervene the kids do not want to come here and the ex-wife stirs the pot.

Is there a way to make this work? Has anyone gone through this experience?

Dating 1 year. We both have kids from prior marriages. We get a long very well and have a lot of things in common. We both have some control issues when it comes to how we handle money so I am moving slow (want to date a couple of more years before we live together).

We were at a zoo and he was treating me for everything since it was my birthday. I asked him at the end of the day (away from our kids) if it would be okay for me to purchase gifts for the kids to remember the day. He responded yes and we took the kids to the store and they had a blast. Afterwards, I said thank you for letting me do this it really made me feel good to see them have so much fun. His response, "It was fine by me because I let "you" do it, it was a control thing."

There was no laughing or kidding and it left me feeling a bit uncomfortable. I'm not looking to kick him to the curb, he is a sweet guy, I have just never heard anyone say something like this.

By the way, he is one of the most honest people I have ever encountered. Sometime painfully so (no holding back).

Am I on dangerous ground here?

I knew something was wrong over a year ago and after multi trips to the doctor they discovered that my blood sugar was too high. I would wake up in the mornings with occasional shakes so bad I could not hold a cup of coffee. Off and on over the year, I wake up and have blurry vision which after a while begins to improve (couple of hours). My doctor is not convinced it is sugar related since I wear glasses but I think it is too much of a coincidence. From onset of blurry to improved vision, the only thing I consume is coffee with a little low fat milk... Anyone ever experience this? I do not know my numbers yet because I am waiting on my insurance to approve my meter and strips. Hopefully this week.

My daughter had so many friends growing up. I always encouraged her because it is just the two of us and we have no other children in the family and extended family is much older and distant. My daughter went public that she is gay and most of her friends disappeared. There are no more best friends and she has been pairing up with other gay girls, which has been ending in heartbreak for her. We have been in counseling for 2 years trying to cope through the loneliness. Dad abandoned her about 5 years ago when our marriage broke up. My heart is breaking for her and I just don't know what to do or how to fix it. Has anyone ever encountered something like this and if you have, do you have any advise? Please do not recommend church because we are not big believers. We already do girls day out and shopping passes....we are planning a cruise for her 16th birthday (just the two of us).... none of it replaces the loneliness.

I bought my daughter a camera last year Nikon D300 and she is asking for a Fish Eye lense. I am finding Nikon lenses to be way out of my price range ($600-$900) and am looking for an off brand for about $300.

Realized when I started looking that I know absolutely nothing about cameras and after an hour of searching I am hoping someone can guide me!

Fish Eye Lense for a Nikon D300 - what type of lense can I look for? I saw some out there brands Rokinon and Bower but I do not understand what fits to what. I was hoping to find something that said "fits D300" but no luck.

Help. Please!

I need an outside opinion on what is happening in my love life. I met someone about 5 months ago. We both have busy schedules, children we are raising, and a mountain of bills to pay (we both are swinging homes alone). With that said, in the beginning, we would talk on the phone for hours....we could not wait to see each other...and we would drive 45 minutes to spend an hour of time together. here is what I am seeing now, phone calls are shortened on his part, text messages have decreased dramatically, no more 45 minute drives for an hour of time.... he tells his friends and family how great I am...but a big part of me is wondering...is he settling? What happen to that spark we had in the beginning? I have talked to him about it and he tells me he loves me. He said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Then the next moment he tells me he is happy we are apart because he likes his freedom. Part of me thinks he is scared...but then the other part thinks he is settling. Neither one of us wants to remarry or have more kids but I am looking for a life partner. I am getting older and I don't want to waste anymore time hanging onto someone who does not feel the same. How do I know?

I'm taking my first cruise this winter and I am so stressed out over what to wear. First, I am overweight which makes purchasing clothing no fun at all (not too bad though at a size 16). I wear business clothing all week for work and have nothing but casual clothing otherwise. The cruise type is free style but I hear so many thoughts about how people dress...that I am confused. I purchased a bathing suit and cover up, some shorts and tank tops...what else? Can someone who has been on a cruise, PLEASE give me an idea of what the dos and don'ts are?

Feeling very stupid at a meeting yesterday - how to decipher the average year using math:

Quantity Year

50 2007

100 2008

20 2009

10 2010

We have a problem with WIFI access in our home. We have bought several and did all the settings, restrictions, etc. we end up with half the speed on the internet. We finally gave up after a year and went back to hard wire (no joke we have about $500 in equipment!). Now, my daughter loves her IPOD and wants to connect via WIFI - what I was wondering is could I take the wire that comes out of our router and goes to her room and connect another router in her room that has WIFI so that she can use it for her IPOD but it doesn't hurt the speed of our computers? I personally think we have a cable internet issue (we have trouble with our TV's too but they just keep telling us no.) Any if putting on an addition router would work?

I have had tried a couple of different CISCO WIFI routers and each time the internet slows to a craw. We have 3 computers hooked up via hard wire and used the WIFI for the IPOD, occasional laptop, and XBOX. XBOX constantly dropped so we just hard wired that too. Once we switch the routers back to one with no WIFI the internet flies. We tried two different CISCO WIFI routers - same issues.

Only using the WIFI for small handheld items. Just don't understand why the problem.

Anyone have this issue? Is there an alternative to run the WIFI devices without substantially slowing down the speed for the internet?

We all know when we hold our babies for the first time all the wonderful things we want in life for them. No one looks at the child and thinks, I hope that they are gay. With that said, you know where I am going.

I thought for a while that my daughter might be gay. When she was 12, I caught her kissing a girl. I was devastated and went to two separate counselors who told me it was a trend -not to worry.

Still had a nagging feeling (you know...you just know). Now as a teenager, her friends have boyfriends and she did not. Finally she told me she has a girlfriend and had for a long while.

Okay, I just want my kid to be happy. I have accepted that this must just be the way it is and if it makes her happy, than it shall be.

So, the advise I am seeking it more what is right or wrong as a parent. I told my daughter that her girl friend could not sleep over because it was no different than me letting a boy sleep over. She was upset initially but than she accepted it. My daughter wants to hang out with this girl all the time and I keep thinking, by allowing this am I doing the right thing? If she did not tell me, I would have never known. I don't want to lose her trust but I also do not want to encourage something that I should not. My daughter is now in High School and said that some of the kids make fun of her because she is gay. I just am not sure by fully supporting her, if I am doing the right thing. It feels like I am because she seems happy and I know what is going on in her life.

By the way, we are both in counseling (divorced a couple of years ago from her absent dad) so she can discuss this with her counseling anytime she wants to (she doesn't want her to know). My counselor just asks me if it makes her happy and does it make me sad.

UGH. Please just looking for candid opinions from parents.

I've got so many things going wrong in my life all at the same time. Brother dying....Mother not speaking to me, things have gone bad with my spouse (not fixable), job is insane..... I'm in counseling but I just cannot go over the hurdle. Nothing seems fun....I just want to sleep. I need to break out of this feeling and I just cannot do it (don't suggest meds - I won't take any). I'm just looking to hear from folks who have gone through similar and how they found ways to do something...to get them motivated (just have this give up feeling all the time).

I've not felt well in over a year and the doctors have no idea what is wrong with me. Below is some info about me...anyone have any ideas or have ever experienced this?

Female 45

Middle Management Job

Works Full Time

Single Parent - Own Home

Care giver of blind parent

Always tired even after 12 hours of sleep

Cannot concentrate

Difficultly remember things

Moody - episodes of crying/outrage

Joints ache badly

Stomach hurts (comes and goes)

Gained about 40 pounds in just a few months! I think because I cannot exercise. As soon as I try to do yard work I feel exhausted.

Medical issues: arthritis in hip, neck, back, shoulder, hands. Doctors cannot confirm what is causing it. Had hundreds of tests including lime disease, diabetes, thyroid - everything is normal.

I am starting to miss work because some days I just cannot function. If I lose work, I will lose my home and not be able to care for my child or my mother. I really could use some advise...and advise on what to do.

BF is in a hurry to get married - we are looking at January. Lately, I've noticed that he does very little in our home (we live together). I've noticed some jealousy issues too (we actually had a week long argument over some guy I talked to in FB - i've known him for 40 years). I've been on vacation for a week....I have a very difficult job (I am actually looking for a new one) and was very upset yesterday thinking about going back to work today. Last night he exploded bc I left the bedroom (I could not sleep) and he went on and one about how i don't care about him anymore. I have child...I'm a single custody parent...I take care of an elderly parent...and now i have another person in my home to care for AND and aweful job. I am feeling very slighted and upset with these outbursts. I have so much to deal with on a daily basis and these constant stupid arguments have me fed up. He keeps telling me it is bc I fell out of love with him. I think it is his actions causing these issues (oh, yeah, he argues with my daughter too {age 13}.

I'm no kid and have no history of cheating. I had a relationship for 10 years, I was later married for 15 years, got a divorce about 2 years ago. This entire dating/relationship thing is new to me. I've been dating this guy for about a year now -living together for about 6 months. Suddenly he has been very moody....for the last month or so. Fighting over stupid things - like putting out the garbage. Yesterday, he was furious with me b/c I posted some photos of our pets on facebook for an old friend that I grew up with. This man is married...lives in another state...I have known him since childhood. Our Mom's were best friends for 50+ years. My boyfriend keeps saying that I am cheating on him and hiding things...not telling him the truth. I've never cheated on anyone in my life. I'm angry and confused. I keep telling him to knock it off...I told him he could talk to the guy I am friends with... I feel like throwing in the towel and giving up. Anyone ever go through this? I think this is crazy stuff.

Work for a school district and would like to add Paypal as an option to pay for school lunch program. Does anyone know if this is a safe method? Business office is worried about unauthorized access to the checking account.

I've been working in my field for almost 30 years. I need 5 more to lock in my pension. About a year ago I was assigned to a job at a remote location. My assignment was to go in and find and fix some of the departments financial problems. I discovered that the department had no supervision for ten years, this still has not been fixed. The people are strongly united, do not work, and each day is a battle of hiding work, fighting, crying, it is ridiculous. What I need to know is how do people cope with being in a highly charged environment everyday? I am not used to this environment and am finidng that the stress is now making me sick. I cannot quit my job - I have a home and family to take care of. I've talked to my bosses and they just keep telling me to hang in there because in the next couple of years they will be moving folks around. A couple of years is a long time to do this. I cannot relocate and I cannot switch jobs (there are none in my field locally right now). Any advice on how to keep going would be greatly appreciated.

My hound mix passed way last year so we adopted a another puppy hound mix from our local shelter (just turning 9 months now). I was told the dog would be around 20 pounds (same as the one I lost). The man of the house, Spanky, is an 8 pound chihuahua. Okay, here is the problem, Lilly (hound mix) is now 60 pounds at 9 months and relentless - she just wants to play and seems to have no idea that Spanky is trying to teach her manners (he has bit her numerous times and she treats it like more play). I've reached a point where I am very concerned about Spanky getting hurt so I keep them separated. Spanky goes to babysitters while I work and I pick him up at night and he stays with me - Lilly stays with my daughter in her room. When I called the vet her response was this is very concerning - it is a problem. Question I have is has anyone gone through this and can I hope that at some point I can trust to leave them together? I just feel badly for Spanky b/c he was here first and now he is away most of the time. I really do not want to get rid of the puppy b/c to be honest, she is otherwise a great dog and we love her.

Help! My Mother is blind and loves her SAP (Secondary Audio Progamming) she was receiving on her HD TV. One night it just stopped transmitting. Cablevision says it is the TV manufacturer and the TV Manufacturer says its Cable. I tried to get it to come up on my TV and I cannot get it either. I REALLY need some information. We tried all the setting menus and there is no MTS or SAP setting!! I understand that the Cablevision Box comes across in MONO and we need to access Analog if that helps. I REALLY NEED SOME HELP TO GET THIS GOING...I'VE SPENT ABOUT 3 WEEKS AND I CANNOT FIGURE IT OUT!

My boyfriend moved in with my daughter and I (daughter is 13). Things were great for the first few months but he has been acting odd recently. He gets extremely angry over strange things (like he suddenly hates the dog - get rid of it) and now he hates my daughters friends (does not want them here). Obviously my daughter is beginning to resent his presence. We had a long discussion and he tells me now that he is bipolar and refuses to get back on meds (I had no idea). My daughter is my priority, while I do love this man, I need to do what is right for her. Does anyone have any experience with bipolar that could let me know if this could really be the case? Other than this, we have not had any issues and he adamantly told me he loves us and does not want to move