hello

Hi, one of my advisors wrote me a scholarship recommendation. I asked him to write another one for another scholarship and he was glad to. However, I'm about to ask him to write more/reuse those recommendations for one or two MORE scholarships. Am I overdoing it? I'm a bit hesitant because I feel like a bother. I do plan on thanking him with a small gift, but I still feel bad... What should I do/should I ask others? I can ask others, but the recs would not be as good.

I'm 17 and in high school. These past few months I've been having trouble focusing or getting anything done, especially school work. I've also gotten extremely forgetful. I'm always misplacing things. When friends talk to me, I often find myself not paying attention. Even when I do pay attention, I easily forget what they said. I've had a pretty rough year---just a lot has been going on. Fortunately, I've grown to be really strong and optimistic.

The weird thing is that even though I'm having trouble remember events that occurred while I was awake, I've gotten much better and remembering my dreams.

Can anyone tell me if there's a correlation between trauma and forgetfulness, or link me to an article so I can read up on this topic? I am sure I do not have ADHD. I'd also appreciate advice on how to focus. I've tried everything. I've tried keeping my computer/phone off, writing to do lists, timing myself, and setting goals, but none of that worked. Thanks.

Long story short, we dated for a year and we had a great relationship. I never loved anyone more than I loved him and he claimed the same. He broke up with me out of the blue and I cried for 2 months. We see each other in class a lot but we never talk and he acts like he never knew me because we just ended so badly. We said the meanest and most vulgar things to each other. I'm not even sure if I miss him. I always think about him, but when I see him in class, I don't get the butterflies I used to get. When I found out he got a new girlfriend I didn't feel at all crushed or sad, but I wasn't happy for them either. For 2 weeks I kept cyberstalking him, but eventually I stopped because his personal life didn't interest me anymore. Love songs remind me of him, but they don't make me sad anymore. Old places remind me of the good times we had, but they don't make me sad either. I'm happy we happened and I never regretted the relationship because I learned a lot from it.

Anyway, I dream about my ex a lot, but none of the dreams are happy dreams. I keep dreaming that he wants me back, but I'm just really cold to him. In one dream, he bought me a sweater and I yelled at him for it because I didn't like it since another girl has the same sweater. Then, I was desperate to find a secluded area in the street so we could make out? I never remembered being so mean to him while we were dating. In another dream, we were back together but I cheated on him with someone else. In a third dream, we were back together but I ignored him a lot and flirted with other boys. I was never like this. I was extremely faithful and I never did anything to hurt him. I loved him for who he was, and not for kisses/sex.

What does all this mean? Why do I still think of him if I think nothing of him?

first 3 paragraphs describe how controlling he is. the paragraphs after is where the question starts:

When I was dating him (now he's my ex) he was the sweetest boy I ever met. He was the ideal boyfriend---BUT he was overprotecting, controlling, and insecure. He’d insist on taking me home everyday even though I told him it was unnecessary. He even said he’d leave me forever if he couldn’t walk me home. He said he was scared something bad would happen to me (I live in a ghetto neighborhood, but nothing ever happens while the sun is still out). He’d have to see me between every class period. He was very clingy and wanted to kiss me all the time! However, when I tell him I’m not in the mood for kissing, he understands and doesn’t force me but he does get very sad.

Now here’s the worst part: he gets crazy jealous and insecure when I make any contact with guys! He wouldn’t let me even say hi to my guy friends. He got extremely upset when I waved back when other guys said hi to me. He made me delete all my guy facebook friends (even the ones I don’t talk to). I couldn’t even HAND papers to guys in class. He insisted I just drop in on their desks instead of holding it out for them. Yes, I know outrageous! But at the time, I loved him enough to tolerate all of it. Other than the flaws I mentioned, he was a great boy friend so I held on.

We were both in 11th grade and when discussing what our lives would be like in the future, he insisted I find an online job or just not work at all. He said he’d manage to find enough money so that I wouldn’t have to work. He said he really didn’t want me to have male coworkers.

Anyway.. I could go on all day talking about how controlling and insecure he is but my question is did something traumatic have to have happened in his life for him to act controlling, overprotective and insecure?

I know he was once rejected by a girl he really liked and since then he’s classified her as a **** (even though she really isn’t). He told me he didn’t like her anymore because she’d go around giving casual hugs to various boys. Then he found me and he was very happy.

He’s the oldest of 4 children. He told me that his mom is two-faced and seems really nice but she’s not. He said she doesn’t care about him and only cares about his 2 baby siblings. She doesn’t plan on paying for his college tuition. She only plans on saving up for the 2 youngest children. But I know she cares about him! She’s always texting asking when he’s coming home or where he is. His mother is so sweet and always comes to watch his performances. Not sure why he feels so neglected.

Is he just a naturally controlling and insecure person or did his rejection and childhood contribute to his behavior, too? How can I help him? As much as I hate him for leaving me without telling me why and acting like a complete jerk after he left, I don’t want his next girlfriend to suffer what I went through. I also don’t want to tell him to seek professional help because he’s going to deny he needs help.

We're 17 and we were together for a year. It was a super happy relationship for the most part, but it ended abruptly because we argued too much. A few days after the breakup, he told me he broke up with me to get back with an ex. It hurt, but I suspect that it's a lie. It's been about 2-3 weeks and I'm a lot better now. At this point, it doesn't matter to me whether he's in a relationship with his ex or not. It just bugs me that he claims our whole relationship was a lie. He said I was just backup. (He only broke with his ex in the first place because she moved 800 miles away and her parents didn't approve of a long distance relationship.) I was definitely more than backup. I knew he truly loved me, but stopped loving me somewhere along the line.

He was a complete jerk to me after we broke up. He TEXTED a break up, refused to talk to me in person, and called me an ugly hoe and a lot of other awful things. I'm anything but a hoe. I wear extremely conservative clothing and I don't flirt around.

He used to use my school locker and we agreed that if all his things aren't out after 3 days, I'd dispose of it in the trash. After 3 days TONS of his stuff was still there but I wasn't mean enough to throw it out so I handed it to the lost and found. When he found out, he bitched at me for not telling his his stuff was still in there. Seriously...how could he not realize his jacket, textbooks, and notebooks were still in there? My mistake for being nice.

I tried at least twice to talk with him. I wanted to know what was the real reason for the breakup. He said it was my fault and refused to say more than just a plain sorry. I'm stubborn, but I'm reasonable so if I do something wrong, I'm willing to take the blame. I couldn't think of anything I did wrong.

Before he became a douche, he actually tried to be friendly saying we could still be friends but then I sent him a text with every little thing I hated about him and then he turned mean. I only sent that text because I was hurt and upset at the fact that he wasn't sorry. I didn't mean it.

I'm pretty much over him right now (it's been 2-3 weeks). We just ignore each other at the moment. But, I'm still sad that I lost a good friend. This was the same thing that happened to me with my first boyfriend (the boyfriend before the one I was talking about here). My first bf and I were best buddies and we fell in love and when we fell out, I lost my best friend. I don't want the same thing to happen with my latest ex. I miss texting until the morning with him, but I don't know if I should forgive him. Nobody has ever been that rude to me in my life. He still hasn't said sorry yet, but I have a feeling he will in a few weeks. I have too much pride to ever ask him if we can still be friends first. BUT if he asks, should I forgive him? I'll definitely wait a few more weeks (maybe months) until I'm sure I'm over him though. He was my best friend and the only person who genuinely understood me, but then again he deliberately hurt my feelings and a true friend wouldn't do that.

My goldfish was normal yesterday, but today it has like 2 little black spots right above its mouth. It kind of looks like nostrils. Is there something wrong with it? The other fish that it lives with are fine. What can i do to get those nostril things out?

seriously, i dont think it would effect the food chain, if all the people in the world were to kill them.