the_real_big_pappa

Hi there,

My girlfriend and I fell out with a friend of mine as he has been very cheeky in the past towards my girlfriend and our relationship. However I have since spoke to him and he has apologised, he hasn't apologised towards my girlfriend yet but I think he would if she gave him the chance.anyway it's his stag do this weekend and I'm thinking of going for one night of it.

Do you guys feel I should go? I know she doesn't want me to go but one of the reasons aswell as the above is that she wants me to help her do her uni report for it and tbh I don't really want to do it for her because I feel I'm being used. Any thoughts?

Hi there,

I have been going out with my gf for almost 4.5 years now and we've had a lot of ups and downs. This time however we have agreed to have a proper fresh start and so far things have been going well. However one of the things she wanted from me was to stop being friends with one of my mates. He is a marmite character so you either love him or hate him but I've known him for almost 10 years. She hates him because he is a bit of a womanizer and turns into an idiot when he's drunk but in general he is alright and very chatty/life and soul of the party type of character. I have agreed to stop going clubbing, drinking or generally chill with him because my girlfriend wants me to, but she wants me to completely cut ties with him. I personally believe that as long as I dont go drinking with him or clubbing etc then I wont get involved in any of his bad habits and can remain friends with him (maybe see him once every 2 months or so).

What would you do, would you ditch one of your mates who is generally a good guy when he is sober, for your girlfriend, or would you bite the bullet and ditch him as a friend completely because your gf believes you will end up in his company doing bad things if you remain friends with him. For the record I have now stopped drinking and going clubbing completely with all my friends as it was one of the clauses for us getting back together.

Thanks in advance for your responses.

I have been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4.5 years now and during that time its fair to say we've had many ups and downs. Some of it has been my fault where I have lied about things (not cheated btw) and other times its due to her insecurities and making accusations about me. Also there have been times where we feel as if we dont undestand each others points of view and this causes problems. We decided last week to give it one more go but as soon as we do we ended up in another arguement on Monday where she actually ended up hitting me (basically accusing me of cheating on her when we first got together 4.5 years ago). Im at my whits end now and she still wants to give it more chance but I feel like its just too stressful. On 1 hand i want to give it more shot because i love her but on the other hand the changes she wants me to make and the changes i need in her arent happening as fast as we need them to and as much as it pains me i feel like ending it. What would you do, would you just give it one more shot or just end it now seeing as after 4.5 years we still arent stable enough to be bf, gf due to there being hardly any trust in the relationship let alone engaged or married. And she pressures me to get engaged very soon, even though i feel as if our relationship isnt stable enough for this.

thanks for reading.

Hi there,

I ended up doing something stupid by writing stuff on an internet forum about my gf and some stuff i'd been up to before i met her and she ended up finding it. However she told me she only came across the forum because one of my so called mates stitched me up and told her about the web forum and the stuff i was posting. however i spoke to him and he says he didnt tell her and that she found out herself. i'm starting to get really frustrated and i dont know who to trust because she tells me he told her himself. who should i believe? after being with her for four years i accept some o the stuff i wrote was wrong but i dont know who to trust anymore...maybe i should just ditch the two of them and be done with it all!!

Any advice would be great, thanks.

She texted me saying "I dont want to celebrate valentines because I dont feel loved or special because you haven't proposed to me and wont propose to me on Valentines day". We've been going out nearly 4 years and there are still a couple of issues that are on my mind otherwise I would propose (i.e. her smoking and some slight trust issues). But what does she mean by her text, is she saying that I'm not right for her because why else would she say she doesnt feel loved?

Cheers,

Hi there,

My friend was stopped and searched randomly by the police at a music festival while he was in the venue and was found with drugs on him and charged. However, he wasn't told why he was being searched and wasn't told why he was randomly stopped either. Neither was he told to sign any written statement by the police and which they also let him go straight after the search and chucked him out the festival.

The police charge notice said that they searched him as he matched the identity of a pick-pocketer but I find this hard to believe since they would've said this at the time and they searched for drugs straight away as soon as they grabbed him.

Can this be deemed as an illegal stop and search? We were in a Scottish festival so I guess Scots Law would apply.

Cheers,

I was at a music festival with my mate in the UK and out of nowhere he got stopped by police for a random search. He was found with 2 rolled joints, an ecstasy pill and some weed(worth no more than £5). He got chucked out but did get told he may get fined. He is really worried and is thinking about getting a lawyer for the course case. However the main question is, do you believe he will end up with a criminal record? He thinks the criminal record will affect his job and trying to get a mortgage etc so does anyone out there have an answer?

Thanks.

My brother for almost the past 2 years has developed this mentality that everyone around him apart from his family is listening in on him and listening to his thoughts and that he is the centre of the universe basically. He thinks everyone is doing stuff just for him, e.g: He believes the commentators on TV are actually talking to him when they are commentating on the soccer/football. He thinks everytime he goes out that cars and people are set on the road just for him and tries to find patterns in that like all car registrations will begin with S. He doesnt like anyone going in his room anymore and I sneaked in the other day. I found a tin foil hat and today i noticed he has lined the radiator, his drawers and room door with foil; basically he thinks people out there are trying to do mind control and put thoughts in his head.

How the hell am I supposed to help him? He even says sometimes that he thinks he's going crazy but in general he actaully believes that this is all true so its hard to help him if he doesnt think theres a problem in how he is behaving. How do I help him, its really worrying and my parents already have enough stresses without this.

I'm so worried that one day I'll come home and he'll have just hanged himself or jumped infront of a train, its really really terifying.

Hey there, I've been goig out with my girlfriend for 2.5 years now and I want to just end it. Actually I've been trying to end it for over a year now without success. Basically here is why I want to dump her:

1: She is very controlling and paranoid. Doesnt let me go on facebook and even has control over my old facebook account which she hijacked and now wont give me it back.

2: She doesnt let me go out clubbing.

3: If i dont meet up with her she turns crazy and starts phoning me constantly like 100 times in half an hour and starts phoning my parents house constantly ( i currently live with my parents). And this is becoming very distressing for them.

4: She hates my big brother and has threatened to get him beaten up.

5: She has a history of suicidial tendencies whenver i have tried to break up with her.

6: She hates my best friends girlfriend, claiming she tried it on with me once.

7: She hates all my friends cos they're lads lads and like to take the piss out each other, including her when shes around.

8: She said she'd kill herself if I break up with her.

Thing is my parents dont know about her due to our religious backgrounds and so she said if i break up with her she'll tell them everything and more, including some lies. I think the best thing to do is tell the police and bring them with me when i go to break up with her and tell them what she plans to do to me and my family, what do you think?

Thanks.

btw, trolls are welcome if its a very funny comment.

My "girlfriend" is a psycho. She wont leave me alone even tho i told her we're over a million times. And then my older brother has turned psycho on me and keeps harrassing me, telling me that people on his work are picking on him and everyone is in on it, including my friends. Also he said he cant leave him job cos everyone in the UK is linked and he would get picked on no matter what company he joins.

Why do I have these psycho's in my life, how do i sort them out?

I have been in a long distance relationship with my gf for a while now and today I told her I'm going for a curry with my mates from work. She has recently been upset with me because I went to go watch footie with my mate the other day (only told her the night before that I was going), and she texted me this:

me: anyway thought I'd let you know that im going for a curry tonight with a few of my work mates, cool?

her: Oh thats why you txt today. no its not kl. but it doesnt matter wot i think or feel

me: what do you mean? i text you everyday unless we've had a major fight.

her: woteva.stop changin the subject. i said im not kl with you goin for a curry.

Could someone out there please tell me what her problem is? Btw I'm still going to go for a curry, i dont see why i shouldn't go just because she doesnt want me to.

Cheers!

Jag

hey there, I have trouble at work staying alert all day long. This includes almost dozing off in the afternoons especially between 2-4 and whenever I'm in meetings around that time I really struggle to keep my eyes open.

I tend to get around 7 hours sleep a night and I do tend to have a hectic schedule at home cos I do weightlifting, and I live on my own so I need to cook clean etc too which are tasks I cant eliminate.

Any idea's on how I can boost my energy levels for the afternoon?

Right I've been trying to dump my girlfriend for ages now for various reasons, and shes just not getting the message through to her dumb brain.

I told her i want to end it but shes not and as a result she wants to come visit me in london (she lives in glasgow btw). She says she will wait at the train station till i come get her or she will come and try and find me and if she gets lost then she doesnt care.

What the hell am i supposed to do?! I told her specifcially 10 million times, its over, dont come visit me, you have no permission to visit or stay with me and shes still coming down...i been going out with her for 2 years so i dont have it in me to start swearing at her and be abusive but i cant just let her roam the streets at night. what do i do!!!

please any quick answers would be great, shes coming down tonight!

Hey there, I've been trying to dump my girlfriend for lots of reasons but one main reason is that she's a different religion. How would you react if you told her you cant be with her and she came back with this reply:

"I dont care what your opinion or your families opinion is cos they're gona F**king change when I convert. Im gona be with you and thats F**king it. Deal with it."

Best answer gets points and a nice warm lovely hug, like the one you get from your mummy :)...actually scrap that, a hug for every answer!!

Hey there,

I work for a defence company as a systems engineer and I am now in a cross roads because my dad says he wants to run a family business which means i'd have to give this job up...I'm in 2 minds because on one hand the things i like about this job is:

- good career prospects

- its something related to my degree

- eventually i'll be able to move back home (although not sure when, as I currently work in England and all my family is in Glasgow)

Having said that, I'd like to be part of the family business because:

- better money if we get it running.

- i'd be close to my family, can move back in as I'm getting a bit home sick to be honest

- i get the feeling due to the current economic climate that my wages wont increase this year or even next year

I just dont know what to do man, what would you do if you were in my shoes. The main reason i want to stay is because I've worked hard for my degree and it would be a waste if i just chuck this career away. however, if i stick this job out, at least till i get chartered then i can come back to it, what you think? Apart from that, theres no other good reason to stay at this job as its a bit stressful and dont feel i save enough money from it anyway...and i miss my family

Cheers in advance for the replies...

My brother claims that whenever he is around or when he walks past a co-workers desk they always do a cough to themselves. He is starting to get paranoid and things its cause they are either racist or because they dont like him.

His reasons for this are because on his first day of work, he heard someone say a racist word - not directed towards him but just in general. Also he has had his car scratched at work in the works car park...

Do you believe he is being picked on or bullied at work? He has been there almost a year now and these are the only incidents that have took place - apart from that it seems ok. Also to note is that he is the only asian/coloured person there.

Hey there,

I've been trying to break up with my girlfriend for months now and she still doesnt get the hint! I told her several times that I want to end it and that its over and that I dont want to be with her anymore and she still doesnt just accept it and let me go - whats her problem man! Why she making my life so miserable and hard - I just want to be single.

I even swore at her and told her to leave me alone and she still doesnt. What should I do to finally get it across to her to tell her its over???

Best answer gets a milkshake with the flavour of their choice :) (please state flavour required with your response)

Cheers,

Jag

My manager has criticised a piece of work that I handed to him for review and now i feel really down but i down know how to sort it out. I know I should have provided better work but right now i feel like i cant even look him in the eye. How do i handle this situation, its making me feel really uncomfortable. Should I email a reply to him or talk to him face to face? His quote "time to start using the grey cells" has hit my confidence quite hard today and even more so seeing as its monday morning!

My girlfriend and I were arguing over our future because of our religous differences. I'm Sikh and shes says I cant marry her cos shes Muslim. But, she said she cant live without me and will kill herself rather than split up with me over it. Even though she said that she's still not willing to compromise or marry me unless I convert to Islam, cos she says she'll go to hell if she marries me if I stay Sikh.

Does her logic seem wierd, I think shes a bit wrong in the head and that I should tell her parents what shes saying, what do you think? Best answer bags the points and a free trip to Glasgow.

Hey there, I'm driving from Frimley to Gatwick airport for my flight at 19.40. How busy do you think the M25 will get and if I leave Frimley at 16.15ish, do you think thats enough time to get to Gatwick? (Check-in closes at 18.50)

If its too busy is it worth going down one of the back roads?

Cheers,

Jag