Devian Michaels

I've been describing myself as an FtM non-op genderqueer. However, I DO want surgery...part of the way. I just don't know where I could find information on whether I would be able to get the modifications to my specifics. Because I think of myself as a two-spirit (boy and girl), I wouldn't want to go through with total masculinization. However, I would like to get a hysterectomy and phalloplasty...but I would also like to keep my female genitals. Basically, in my head, I feel I should have been born intersexed. Because of my body structure, it's hard to hide certain things, like my hips and breasts. Is there any way I could get my hip bones shaved? I know I can get a breast reduction, but what is the smalles size they will go for a D chest? Where can I find answers to these questions, because most places I have looked refer to TOTAL masculinization of the female body, and that's not something I'm interested in.

Do you ever feel inadequate because of your lack of equipment when with a woman, or is that just me?

If you're attracted to men, what if he doesn't have a penis? Would you still date him as a gay man?

If you're attracted to the penis, would a false one suffice, or does it have to have all the natural, "normal" functions?

I'm asking as a pre-SRS trans man who happens to be gay and isn't considering full genital restructuring, as there are no viable sex options for me yet. Does your man HAVE to have a penis, or will a strap-on be good enough?

I'm pre-everything FtM and used to consider myself a cross-dresser. When I would cross-dress before, I used a condom filled with hair gel as a packy, but it was too soft and too long. How can I make a realistic-looking packy?

I'm still DEEEEEEEP in the closet due to religious family issues...but I read that FtMs should shave because the fine hairs on the face are more feminine, and it looks less feminine if they're shaved.

Here's the problem...HOLY HELL, IT BURNS!!!!! I've been slathering my face with moisturizer all night, and it won't go away. I know alcohol isn't the right stuff to use, but when I would shave my legs, lotion would help. Why isn't it helping on my face and what will?