Becka

In the last year and a half,since my youngest daughter turned 18, she has put tattoos nearly all over her body. She's also had several piercings. She has 14 ear piercings, 3 tongue piercings,belly button, a monroe, nose, lower lip, one tata, and of course the private area. She is obsessed with tanning as well; to the point where her friends and family are starting to make statements to her.

Now I've tried to educate her on too much tanning, I've tried to talk to her about how permanent all those tats are but she still insists on spending every last dime on all of it. She put her father's name on her back. Maybe I'm not up with the times but I've always assumed you didn't put a parents name on your body unless they were dead. She could have put daddy's girl or anything else but she has a huge tat of her dad's name. Is putting your dad's name on your body a normal thing now?

Her dad has two tats and I have one. It's not uncommon for my children to have tats. We have 5 children and 4 of them have art on them, just not all over their entire body. Is it that she, out of all of us, just more obsessed?

Is this normal or do I have something to worry about with her self esteem? She's a beautiful young lady and it's almost taking away from her beauty. Or is that just my opinion?

We have 5 children. Ages are 25,23,21,19,14. The oldest 3 moved out and on their own as soon as they turned 18 or 18 and gradutated high school. I'd always told them they could stay as long as they went to college. All three older ones have been really self reliant. They are hard workers & have never ask for money since they've moved out. They all do know that if they need us we will be there for them which includes them moving home if they would ever need to.

My question is, our 4th child in line who is 19, graduated in June of 2009, has no plans on going to college. She has been through about 15 jobs in the last 2 years. Her last few jobs that she's had lasted about a month or two. She moved out at the end of last summer but turned around and came back just two weeks later. And even though she was moved out, she was there every day and some nights. She doesn't pay any bills, hardly helps around the house, doesn't keep her room clean, comes and goes at her own convience, and when asked if she is saving money to move out causes an argument.

Her father and I get into arguments over her very often. I feel she needs to grow up, show responsibilty by keeping a job, informing me when she'll be gone all night or in late, help around the house, keep her room clean, & save money to move out on her own. She is a "Daddy's girl" and I feel he enables her, she does call him to let him know where she is or if she isn't coming home but then he never relays the messages to me.

I'm also starting to feel that she has no intention of moving out ever. It's kind of frustrating to me and also now her siblings are frustrated as well. Our 14 yr old is my step son. He only comes to visit on the weekends. I feel that it's time my husband and I have our time for us and we can't do that when we're still weaning one.

My question is..... What is normal? How long do children stay with their parents after High School if they don't attend college? Since my oldest ones wanted to move out I've never been in this situation.

We have 5 children. Ages are 25,23,21,19,14. The oldest 3 moved out and on their own as soon as they turned 18 or 18 and gradutated high school. I'd always told them they could stay as long as they went to college. All three older ones have been really self reliant. They are hard workers & have never ask for money since they've moved out. They all do know that if they need us we will be there for them which includes them moving home if they would ever need to.

My question is, our 4th child in line who is 19, graduated in June of 2009, has no plans on going to college. She has been through about 15 jobs in the last 2 years. Her last few jobs that she's had lasted about a month or two. She moved out at the end of last summer but turned around and came back just two weeks later. And even though she was moved out, she was there every day and some nights. She doesn't pay any bills, hardly helps around the house, doesn't keep her room clean, comes and goes at her own convience, and when asked if she is saving money to move out causes an argument.

Her father and I get into arguments over her very often. I feel she needs to grow up, show responsibilty by keeping a job, informing me when she'll be gone all night or in late, help around the house, keep her room clean, & save money to move out on her own. She is a "Daddy's girl" and I feel he enables her, she does call him to let him know where she is or if she isn't coming home but then he never relays the messages to me.

I'm also starting to feel that she has no intention of moving out ever. It's kind of frustrating to me and also now her siblings are frustrated as well. Our 14 yr old is my step son. He only comes to visit on the weekends. I feel that it's time my husband and I have our time for us and we can't do that when we're still weaning one.

My question is..... What is normal? How long do children stay with their parents after High School if they don't attend college? Since my oldest ones wanted to move out I've never been in this situation.

As much as I express my concern with my husband over his friendships with women, it makes no difference to him.

I don't mind him having female friends. But I have a comfort level. I don't want them calling him all day, I don't want them txting him all day, and I don't want them in his truck.

I've let him know my comfort level and he laughed at me. He says I'm jealous and that I don't trust him. ( I might not trust him but I'm not jealous)

Last weekend he was gone over night. He's left at 10am Sat and came home around 4pm Sunday. I looked at his phone and found that he'd txt her before me when he'd not seen me for two days.

I found this very upsetting. I want to be first! I want to be the one who he thinks of first. I don't think I'm over reacting am I?

When ever I ask him to tone it down or back away from his female friends he says that I'm over reacting and I have nothing to worry about. I try to explain that I don't have any male friends and If I did maybe he'd understand how I felt.

I don't have any male friends because I simply don't think I should. Friends that would not include my spouse? Who does that? Am I being stupid?

I've been though some very trying times with my hubby since last fall.

Without going into great detail I will say that he's displayed some characteristics of MLC.

I would haven't ever guessed that he was because he's 39 years old.

But during our recent discussion I asked him if he'd ever figured out why he felt the need to leave me and why he thought he'd done all the things he'd done to me. He told me that he thought he was going through "Sort of a mid life crises".

I've looked it up on the net and see where he actually displayed traits however, isn't he too young? Do you think someone told him this? Is it an excuse for his behavior and the things he said to me?

In the last two weeks I've noticed an excessive amount of hair loss when I comb out my hair in the morning.

What would cause it?

My Best Friend whom is my cousin had sex with my hubby.

I love them both so much that I don't know what I'd do without them in my life.

I'm hurt beyond belief... but I stayed with my husband because I know we can work past it.

(I think)...

My cousin (best friend too) wants to carry on a relationship with me. I too also but I'm still very upset and wonder how they could do it.

I'm really sad with and without them.

My husband is txting a girl every day. The txting is about 100 each day. When I first looked at the bill I asked him if he was cheating.

Then he has me meet her so I asked her too just to get a response and see her reaction.

What do you think I should do? Do you think he's cheating? Do you think it's healthy to start a friendship with a single woman at age 39.. She's only 36 and well, I'm 43... I'm really kind of tired hearing her name nearly every day....

Both swear that they are just friends. It so happens my husband finds her as his best friend. She is single and I tried to explain that I thought the txting was excessive and seemed to me that there was more than a friendship. I've met her boyfriend who is also the father of their child. I find him mentally abusive towards her. My husband says they talk about their relationships. When I asked him not to talk about ours he agreed. I told him that if he had any concerns he needed to be talking to me.

I don't want to push because if he is just having a friendship with her I don't want to be the one to ruin it. But, if they are having an affair I don't want to be stupid about it either.

I've looked at his phone, he erases all messages every day before I get home. He txts her as soon as he walks out the door in the morning,all day long, up until I walk in the door at night. He does txt her in front of me sometimes only because I insisted he stop hiding it. He did for a short time start laying his phone out where I could see it but now it's back in his pocket all the time.

How do I make it a point that I don't think it's healthy after I've already said it over and over. She's a nice girl but omg... I know women...

Back in October my husband met a girl at work. They began txting each other. When I asked him why the bill was so high and confronted him about the txting with this girl he said that she had family issues and they were just friends.

I want to believe him but I think the txting is excessive and has been this way for 6 months. I had asked him to slow it down with her and it did for about a month. Before confronting him again, my question to all of you is... What would YOU consider too much txt-ing between a married man and a single woman.

Do you think I have cause to think there is much more going on? Why or why not? I know, men can have female friends and I'm not a jealous person but I don't want to be an idiot either.

I've been with my husband for 12 years. We're an attactive looking couple. He's 39 and I'm 43. We work out every day and try to stay fit.( and yes guys even the kegals) Our sex life in the beginning was the best I'd had in my life. At age 31 he gave me my first orgasm.

We were married in 2000 and since then our sex life has gone down, down, down hill. When I noticed the decline and felt I needed to have more love making I would try many ways to get him in the mood. I'd tease, taunt, send nude pics for his eyes only, I'd kiss and touch him all day trying to lead up to the big bang... Endless times it ended up with him snoring next to me. Then I began to beg... and then I did a horrible thing by publicly humiliating him by saying things like "my sex life sucks or I never get it, what's it like now a days".

After feeling horrible by the way I was acting I just gave up. I just stoped all talk or action trying to get him interested in the idea. I hated the rejection so I went to the toy store and stocked up. That only helped for a short time. I NEED TO FEEL LOVED! I need the intimacy and the passion... I need skin on skin...

The older I get the more frustrated I feel. Going months on end sometimes a year without sex is wearing on me.

Yes, I'm more aggressive, yes I'm more in tune with my body, yes I'm open to all types of things in the bedroom.. We've talked about and even tried many many many things to keep it alive all of which he loves.. But it just doesn't happen that often. It's not an issue of * I'm not good or he's not good, or an issue of either one of us being satisfied fully when we do get together* When we are together, making love, it's explosive...

I've tried everything. Now when we talk about it, he says he gets more satisfaction out of life, he gets his highs off of everyday life and doesn't feel the need for sex.

I have never in my life heard that the wife is the one who wants it all the time and husband doesn't. Is this odd? Why is it happening? He's a vibrant barely 39 year old man that in the last 6 years has decided not to make love to his wife.

I'd like to hear from men who have stoped cheating on their wife. Ones that vowed to be faithful and have stayed faithful..

What made the change? Why did you cheat to begin with... I'd like to know all the reasons why men cheat..

I know why women cheat..... Please, only men respond... thanks..

Last November I suspected my husband was having an affair because I found out that he'd been txting a girl at work in the excess of 100 txt a day since October. On top of that, he just wasn't acting the same around me and we'd only made love 4 times in the entire year of 2008. Keep in mind, I'm an attractive woman and very sexual, I'm 43, I do everything possible I can to get him excited and I'm "just that good".. So, it's not for lack of me wanting it nor my ability.... He's 5 years younger and she's 2 years younger than him.

I confronted him about the txting and he denied any wrong doing and said they were just friends. I wasn't convinced but since I had no proof, and she told me the same thing when I called her I just let it go until I had concrete proof.

A month later he told me that he loved me but wasn't in love with me and suggested a seperation. We talked it out, he ended up staying and contengent we start marriage counseling ( my idea but he agreed)

We went through Christmas and started marriage counseling the first week of January.

It seemed to help on the surface of things, I seemed more at ease and less irritated by things that use to really bother me. Then the txting to her started again He now was going behind my back and calling her and txting her when we were home together but he would leave the room. I started writing down times when he'd leave the room or the house and then checked on line the next day and found hundreds of txt messaging all day long clear in to the night.

I confronted him again right before Valentines weekend, he said that she was having problems at home and she needed him to talk to because they were friends, he kept it from me because he thought I would be jealous. I told him he was a liar either way, keeping me from the truth makes me think that he's having an affair even more. I pushed more and more to the point he again said he was leaving me because he wasn't in love with me.

After a week of no sleep, no food, and the never ending crying, he told me he'd made a huge mistake. He promised he didn't feel sorry for me and that he in deed loved me and didn't want to leave. He said it took a brick hitting him in the face to realize what was right in front of him. Things were finally more wonderful than they'd been in years. We were drunk with love.. It was like a weight had been lifted off me. I really could feel his love and I know he felt bad about what he'd been doing. He admitted to having an emotional affair. He did ask the girl if she had feelings for him like he did her. She is madly in love with her babies father and will never leave him. So, my suspicions were correct even tho it was one sided.

Then one month later in March, after things were so wonderful for so long, I get a call from his cousin telling me that he knew my husband had slept with my cousin. It took me two weeks of planning and forcing of the truth. I won't go into detail of how I got them to break but it worked like a well oiled machine!

Turns out, they had sex twice.. (could be more, I'll never know.. ) Once was enough huh? First time in 2003 in my back yard when I was sleeping, second time on Dec 27 2008 in my own bed when I wasn't home.

Yes, I was devastated and crushed... Now it all seemed to make sense

There is soooo much more to this story but not enough time and I'm sure you all don't have the time to read it all.. Needless to say, I've decided to allow him to stay, decided to give our marriage another try, decided not to end the love of my life. It's been a little over 6 weeks since I found out the truth. The thoughts every minute of every day of them being together in my bed have subsided. When I'm away from him I am so mad and hate him for what he's done, when I'm near him I can't get enough of him and am soooo forgiving and sooo much in love.

I told him that I wanted to make it work, all the while not knowing if I really can. I've tried to talk about it all with him and he just wants to let it all go away so he just clams up. So now I'm here telling all of you my story... Asking you, Do you think he will do it again? Keep in mind, he's not the type... but then again, I never thought he'd ever lie to me either. After all the times I begged him for the truth he always told me he'd never slept with my cousin. He says he didn't tell me because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. I think the lies hurt more than anything. Six years I lived with a lie!

Can men who have cheated not ever do it again? I'd like to hear from those men please. I'd like to know why men do cheat. What are the reasons.... and what makes them realize they shouldn't again or do they never stop?