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HI- this sucks but my husband and I are getting separated. He egged me on to call the police on him while he was grappling with me over his phone. So, I fell into the trap and did. Now he is saying that he is the victim and that I am mentally unstable. I guess everyone at his work knows about this. He has been telling everyone about our fights, etc.

I am friends with one of his co-workers and she had tried to tell me before but I didn't really listen. If I go out to lunch with her tomorrow and tell her what really happened will it look like I am trying to sabotage his work and make me look even worse. I just don't want them to stand up for him/ be witnesses when they don't know the story at all.

Hi, I was wondering if I was to get a divorce (which I don't want to do) if my in-laws could possibly get custody of my son just because I don't have many friends? I take my son out all the time to baby time, park, zoo, etc. so it's not like he doesn't get to socialize. My mother in law keeps saying that I have depression (because I don't have many friends) and am emotionally abusive and have anger issues even though it's mostly true about my husband instead. Anyways, I am afriad that she will pull something and try and take custody of our son if the worst (a divorce) happens. Thanks so much!

Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me if you think this is abuse?

My husband started keeping all the money when I ran out on our honeymoon.I asked him to please give me some extra Euros so that I could go to the bathroom, get a soda, etc and he denied me that. This was the first time I didn't have money of my own. He then tells me that I am going to have to ask him for money for anything- even a bra and that "the spending spree is over" Then when I keep pushing him to put me on the account so that I can get a card and use the money, he explodes starts punching the back of the carseat- He was supposed to make a budget, but I still have to ask him to spend wnything and if I spend too much he wants to know why and a run down of all the items. We have an infant, but I offered to get a job in the wee hours of the morning- he told me not too, that he wouldn't be able to take care of the baby if he woke up.

He lies about the finances. He had a credit card charged and didn't tell me about it. He applied for a loan without telling me. He didn't take it, just applied. We decided that I didn't have enough money for clothes so I told him that I was going to buy material to make a dress and he asked me to "hold off" on that.

He does lots of other things too, like withhold sex, be late to everything, doesn't get me anniversary presents or Mother's day and then asks "what's wrong?" when he knows exactly whats wrong. But he says that I am the emotional abuser because I threaten to divorce him.

He leaves for trips and he knows that I need to talk to him because I am worried. And he'll shut off his phone so that I keep emailing hijm/ calling him.

He gets angry about everything and lately has been saying that he wants to kill himself. hen he left and shut off his phone and I had to track him down.

He tells me he doesn't want to be a father.

The therapist said to call 911 if he threatened to kill himself again. but i talked to some other ppeople and they said to give him the option of getting help or you were going to call 911. Well, when I said that he went crazy, smashed the phone threatened to call 911 on me carried our son out of the house and threatened to leave him on the pavement. He tells his family bad things about me, I found texts. then tells me that they just don;t like me- they all gang up on me and say things about how I am spending all his money, etc.

He told me that I couldn't go out of the house without the baby. That he couldn't watch him. First it was that he didn't have enough milk, then it was that the baby won't take it. Now it's that the baby is fussy. Or he just says that he doesn't want to. He makes me feel bad about leaving if I don't take the baby. And he knows that I can't go far with the baby. He never likes my friends and then he puts me down for not having any.

Anyways, is he depressed or abuseive or both? Thank you so much have a beautiful day:)

Basically, my husband is clincally depressed-he has been through it before- he was told by a LCSW 9 months ago that he is and again by our new therapist a few months back. He will not seek treatment. the therapist told me to call 911 and have him taken ot the hospital as that "is probably what he needs" He keeps threatening/telling me he wants to kill himself. So, anyways, I told him that he needs to get help or I was going to call. He said he would go to the doctor, but he refused his appt. today. He yells in front of our child and he is emotionally abusive to me.

So can I record him so that in a custody case I have evidence of his mental state and of his emotional abuse? The therapist said that he would already tell someone that he is depressed, but since he has no record of past treatment/hospitalizations, etc. I am afraid that he will get joint custody if we seperate. I want him to get help. But he won't and frankly he isn't capable of/nor should be around our son the way he is right now. Can I use voice recording because he's going to lie and tell them he is fine and he has vastly more resources for a lawyer than I do. I don't want him to never see his son- that is heartless- I just want him to be in a better frame of mind when he does. Thank you so much this is very difficult

Hi, My husband has depression. He was diagnosed last September about 8 months ago, but he refused to go back because he didn't want to take medication, etc. We started couples counseling, but of course that didn't help. NOw it has gotten worse. He has anger issues and keeps yelling in front of the baby, The therapist told me to call 911 if he keeps saying that he wants to kill himself, which he does. I told him that he needed to get help or I was going to call 911. He went crazy and smashed the phone told me I was the problem, etc. Very scary. I had to leave the house. He told me that he didn't want to be a father that he doesn't like being with the baby, etc. So, I have been caring for the baby non-stop because he can't and frankly, I don't feel safe leaving the baby with him. We keep fighting even though I try to control myself and be nice. If I try to talk about anything difficult, like money cause he is leaving soon for a job and has no money to get there, he starts yelling at me in front of the baby and the baby starts crying.

It's so awful. He has a doctor's appointment in six days. I asked him to go to his parents yesterday and he went and then called me begging to come back. I said yes, because he tells me that me wanting him gone is making him more depressed. But, he also blames me for everything, his depression, the reason why he yells is also because of something I said or did. I'm trying to just hold out for that doctor's appointment and then he is supposed to leave out of state after that. This morning he started yelling at me in front of the baby again and I kicked him out of bed and told him to go back to his parents. He refuses to leave. I am going to try and stay away form him as much as possible until he leaves. He wants to have all these people over that he goes to college with tonight and that I don't know very well. But I honestly do not feel like playing the good wife/host to a bunch of his would be friends, but I am afraid that he will blame me and say that I am the reason that he doesn't have any friends and the reason why he is depressed. I want to go somewhere else. SHould I just go and let him entertain by himself?

HI, everyone thanks for reading-

I just met my neighbor and she

A) attended the same college as me that is all the way across the country

B) studied the exact same subject which is a small academic subject

C) has a baby that was born on the same exact day month and year as mine (our first and only children for both of us)

D) the birthdate is also her fathers

I am kind of getting that uncanny feeling. Does this seem weird to you? Does it mean anything? Is it statistically significant? Also, her father is dieing and my father also died a few years ago when I was quite young, too.

My husband and our and I are traveling out of the continental US for his work this summer. He decides to go with no money, no place to stay, etc. So I start making plans and his gets angry with me. He tells his boss that he needs an advance " so that he can feed himself when he gets there" and he is staying at the YMCA and this is a professinonal man who makes a good salary and works for the government! Anyways he is intentionally being obstructionist by changing his start date with his boss after we had agreed on a date and then not telling me, booking travel back home on a different date than me so that I will have to spend the weekend alone with the baby and fly like twelve hours by ourselves. Even though we agreed on the travel dates and when we keep the rental until. I offer to leave for months or get a divorce, and he says no, i love you, i desperately want you to stay, etc. But, we also recently found out he is clinically depressed and not able to cope with anything so now I feel like I can't talk about anything difficult with him or do anything that might upset him in anyway.

My husband and I are traveling this summer with our son who will be a year old then. I meekly asserted that we should travel back together on the same plane, because whenever I suggest something to be with arrangements he thinks I am tryin to control the situation. Well, he ignored me and later that night made travel plans that would not include me and our son. We had went over the night previously how long we were going to be staying at our summer rental, etc. And I had even gotten a calendar pointed out the dates asked if this was ok, etc. So I say fine, me and our son can spend the last weekend there alone and fly like twelve hours by ourselves. Then he says, "well, I wanted to make it back for my ten year reunion." Now I feel like he is either using that as an excuse, cause the renuion is on the same date that he has to fly and I think he might miss it anyways or that he doesn't want anyone to see who he is married too. Needless to say, there have been many problems lately. Should it be an issue? Not that I would even want to go, but I'd like to at least be given the option. He actually has a few friends from highschool that he still sees. Thanks

MIL & husband driving me to destruction

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HI, I'm usually not that angry of a person, but my husband is a habitual liar and him and his family play games with me emotionally. Today he grabbed his phone real fast before I could use it. I thought he was looking at porn because I've found it on there before and he doesn't want to sleep with me for months at a time as he says that he doesn't feel the same since we had the baby nine months ago. Well, I grabbed the phone and took off and he chased me around the apartment complex. I thought it must be really hard core stuff.I drove down the street. There wasn't even any porn on there. It turned out that he had been texting his mother nasty things about me. How I was *****ing and moaning and how he would strangle me if I found a way to extend our taxes and use the money for somehting else. Needless to say there is a long back story. So, I told him that I couldn't find anything on the phone. I kept asking him what kind of porn it was, etc. And that I didn't care that he was looking that I just really didn't like being lied too, etc. And he made up this big lie. Then his mother turns up. He had called her when I left and told her to come over. Just like last time we had a fight. She lives forty five minutes away.

HIs family tried to ruin our wedding. They tried to ruin our honey moon. They *****ed out my mom in front of their whole family the day before our wedding. MIL and I went out to lunch while my husband was away on vacation. She said tath he was an internet pervert and had got this young girl to go out with him. (lie) That I was not educated enough nor did I make enough money to be with him. She told me that he wasn't emotionally capable of having a relationship. They meanwhile were telling him that I was emotionally unstable, etc. Just trying to break us up.

He promised me that they never talked about me. He lies about stuff all the time.Like credit cards and finances and just small things, too. I don't know what to do. OUr son is only nine months old. Should I leave him? He says that he doesn't mean to lie but that he can't stop that he can't control himself and that he can't stop calling his mother anytime anything goes wrong. He says that he will go to counseling on his own. (We have had a few marriage counseling sessions.) Please, I am in so much pain all the time. Not that I am perfect and do not get upset. Should I leave? He also does mean things like forget our anniversary even when I reminded him the day before and the day of when he didn't get me anything I told him that it hurt and he promised me something after he got home from work but he still didn't get me anything.

MIL & husband driving me to destruction

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HI, I'm usually not that angry of a person, but my husband is a habitual liar and him and his family play games with me emotionally. Today he grabbed his phone real fast before I could use it. I thought he was looking at porn because I've found it on there before and he doesn't want to sleep with me for months at a time as he says that he doesn't feel the same since we had the baby nine months ago. Well, I grabbed the phone and took off and he chased me around the apartment complex. I thought it must be really hard core stuff.I drove down the street. There wasn't even any porn on there. It turned out that he had been texting his mother nasty things about me. How I was *****ing and moaning and how he would strangle me if I found a way to extend our taxes and use the money for somehting else. Needless to say there is a long back story. So, I told him that I couldn't find anything on the phone. I kept asking him what kind of porn it was, etc. And that I didn't care that he was looking that I just really didn't like being lied too, etc. And he made up this big lie. Then his mother turns up. He had called her when I left and told her to come over. Just like last time we had a fight. She lives forty five minutes away.

HIs family tried to ruin our wedding. They tried to ruin our honey moon. They *****ed out my mom in front of their whole family the day before our wedding. MIL and I went out to lunch while my husband was away on vacation. She said tath he was an internet pervert and had got this young girl to go out with him. (lie) That I was not educated enough nor did I make enough money to be with him. She told me that he wasn't emotionally capable of having a relationship. They meanwhile were telling him that I was emotionally unstable, etc. Just trying to break us up.

He promised me that they never talked about me. He lies about stuff all the time.Like credit cards and finances and just small things, too. I don't know what to do. OUr son is only nine months old. Should I leave him? He says that he doesn't mean to lie but that he can't stop that he can't control himself and that he can't stop calling his mother anytime anything goes wrong. He says that he will go to counseling on his own. (We have had a few marriage counseling sessions.) Please, I am in so much pain all the time. Not that I am perfect and do not get upset. Should I leave? He also does mean things like forget our anniversary even when I reminded him the day before and the day of when he didn't get me anything I told him that it hurt and he promised me something after he got home from work but he still didn't get me anything.

HI, I have a beautiful baby son that is almost nine months old. I want to travel by air from the east to west coast, but daddy can't come. He has hardly ever been separated from him. Our son has not left home for more than a day trip with us since he was two months. Since this is my first child, does anyone had any experience or advice? Will he think we left permanently for this new, strange place and that daddy is gone? Thanks so much:)

My husband doesen;t respect me. There are too many things to list here, but just wothin the last week he has forgotten our anniversary even when I reminded him and asked him to get me something. Tonight I call to tell him I'm having a very long hard day and need him to hurry home. He decides to bring up a tough conversation about finances right then and give me an attitude and continues when we get home. The counselor we are seeing describes his behavior as passive aggressive. Anyways I really want a divorce. I don't like him anymore and we are never happy. He says he isn't happy either but he won't give me a divorce. He just shuts down and won't talk to me now. Well, I get pretty angry and I'm afraid that I am going to start doing things I regret, like saying mean things, etc. I think that he wants me to do that so that he can use it against me when we get a divorce. I think that he is going to try and sue for custody of our son. I'm so afraid that he might get it. And I'm really afraid for our son to have to go through a divorce. He is only a little baby now. But I know that it affects their entire life. Ugh. Any advice on what affects the child the most. Thank you

HI, My husband's family have been writing him terrible emails about me. I found them when he accidentally left it opened on the screen. He has lied about several things in the past year, imoprtant things like finances, etc. So, our relationship has been rocky and trust has been broken and we started talking about how he can change cause our counselor said that his behavior is passive agressive, etc. So I tell him that I now need complete honesty from him and that includes being able to look at his email because I am worried that he is carrying on terrible conversations behind my back. And I know that I wouldn't really want someone snoopng on me either, but I am his wife and mother of his child and this is only the first thing that I asked from him to prove that he is willing to change cause he says that he really wants too. Well, he says absolutely not and because I want a seperation that I am going to ruin our son's life, etc. but yet, he is willing to let me leave over not showing me his email. Isn't there something wrong here? Thanks and better days to you.

I was just wondering exactly that. Can either of us use our what we say in our marital counseling against each other during a divorce and custody proceddings? Thank you very much

Hi, My husband and I have been contemplating divorce. We argue alot and he has lied and our trust is not very strong anymore. Basically, there is not much love left and we have a very hard time aking desicions together. ANyways, his parents are always trying to say that I am mentally ill and emotinally abusive and lately he has been saying these things to me, too. The thing is is that he was diagnosed with depression but wont go back. Anyways he keeps doing things to hurt me, like lying about the finances and staying out late while I am with the baby twelve hours a day. He forgets Valentines Day and our anniversary, etc, Just really hurtful things. SO, I think that he really wants a divorce but is trying to build a case against me as an unfit parent. I am a recovering alcoholic but have been sober for four plus years. I do not have a history of mental illness. can he show that I am unfit?

Husband says that he doesn't want a divorce and that he loves me, but keeps doing really bad things to try and force me into being the bad guy and wanting a divorce. He keeps lying about the finances. I found two crdit cards that he lied and said he didn't have money charged on. Thousands of dollars was charged. He "forgot" Valentine's Day and yesterday was our first anniversary and he "forgot" to get me anything even though I reminded him the day before. He wants to take out a loan instead of going back to work over the summer so that he can take this class. He applied for the loan without telling me. I found the paperwork in the mail. It would cost us like 30,000 over the life of the loan. If he went back to work instead he would make more in three months than he does all year on his assistantship. When I finally said that I trusted his sister to watch our baby so that we could have a night out for the first time in over eight months, he said that he did not want to go and that he hadn't felt romantic since before the baby was born.

The worse thing is that I think he will try and take the baby. I found an email from his mom and she is trying to say that I am mentally ill and emotionally abusive. He turns around and repeats whatever they tell him to me. He also went to a counselor a few onths back and they told him that he was depressed and may have to go on medication unless he got better. He refused to go back but he keeps telling me that I need to go see a psychologist. I think he is trying to force me into getting a divorce so that he can say that it wasn't his fault and then try and take the baby. Please help

HI everyone, My little (should say big guy) is seven months and 20 pounds and tall! He is starting to roll and we have always co-slept. Should I push the bed up against the wall and get a bedrail on one side? Two bedrails? and if the top of the bed has pillows will that be enough? Also do you think it would be possible for him to sleep in atoddler bed so that we could still lay with him when he woke up in the night? thanks so much really appreciate it

My friend contacted me on facebook after I moved away for tow years and then moved back. She sent me a wedding invite. Said that she wanted me to come. I accepted but I have a six month old that fussy and did not do well on our trial run with leaving him with the grandparents. It's a week and a half to the wedding, but I only accepted a couple weeks ago. Can I cancel and send a good gift and be ok?

HI, ANOTHER marriage question: My husband is attending graduate school and teaches one class during the semester. He has to work tues-thursday part days and two hours on Friday. With Friday sat, sun and mon off. He does have to do homework and grading (which I help him with)We have a six month old baby and we both decided we don't want day care. I was going to start a paper route for a couple hours in the early mornings, but he was afraid that the baby would wake up and need me. So today I told him that I am tired of living in poverty( he only makes 15,000 a year) which may not be the right word maybe just living poor would be it and asked if he might consider getting a part time job. He exploded!! Acted like he was all pissed, threw clothes around said I was greedy and selfsih and a bad person. I threatened divorce like I always do when we fight cause whenever I bring up anything remotely difficult to discuss he goes off the handle. He said that there was no way he was going to get a part time job. He said that I really hurt him and that I am ungrateful. I mean we don't starve but we don't have enough money for all the things I would like to do. It's true I do want more money. He said that I am going to **** up our child for the rest of his life. Should I put my kid in day care and let him be raised by someone else for a very immpressionable time in his life or just live on the edge of poverty?

Hi, Asking this because like everyone else, I don't know what to do and I don't believe I know everything. Input is much appreciated. I keep catching my husband in lies. Unfortunately it has just been since we have gotten married and had a son. So after lying many times and getting caught this last time- He admits that he has a problem and is a pathological liar!

So, now I am with this guy that I may never be able to trust again. All my hopes for the future seem to fall into despair. And our son. Our son. Our beautiful son.

Should I just go on for years and hope he gets better if he goes to therapy? or cut my losses and leave? What would my son want?