whacked-out NOT emo chicka so ha

I walked into my boyfriends house and he was sitting on the couch holding a baby. I don't know who the baby belonged to. I asked to hold him, and when I had him in my arms something flew up next to me, like a door but it came from the floor, and cracked (I literally have no way to describe it other than cracked) the baby on the head just over the edge of my arm. Blood went everywhere and I wole up horrified and upset. What could this dream mean?

Okay, I've been on the pill for over a year, I get my period every month on a Sunday. This month, a week before the scheduled day, I noticed brown spotting, very light. This continued all week until Friday, where it turned dark brown and stained my underwear. Then, to my relief on the scheduled Sunday I bled bright red, but it's nowhere near as heavy as my normal periods. I filled up a tampon today, usually I go through two or three. Could this be implantation bleeding, or is the fact it turned red on the scheduled day mean I'm safe?

ok, i know like 100 girls have asked, but i really would like to know.

we've been going out for about a month and a half. but thats only technical. we've liked each other for about a year, so its a bit more serious. the day before valentines day we have the school dance and we're both going to go and have fun. but i know he's doing something for valentines day even though i asked him not to. he's really into gifts and he's always asking my friend for advice. she told him to do something homemade and he's hinted that it was difficult for him and i love him for all the thought he's put into this and i just want to do something really special. is that so wrong?

So by saying that, i'm not even going to look twice at all the people who say it's tradition to do nothing to get an easy two points.

I've never been one to follow tradition anyways.

so, here's the deal... he's a teenager, he's quiet, he's pretty on the romantic side, not really into sports, he lives with a bunch of younger brothers so i dont want to do anything that could get ruined cuz that would seriously bother him and defeat the purpose. We IM a lot.... uhmmmm.... i'm so stuck.

my hair is straight, but lately i've been curling it every morning and it looks loads better. everyone says so and thought it was natural, however it's a lot of work to curl my shoulder length hair every morning.

so what about a perm? will it fry my hair? is it easy? will i end up with a fro? if i brush my hair will it frizz out, like when i curl it and brush it out after school? has anyone gotten a perm, if so what did you think about it? did you like it? did you regret it? help me out here.

thanks a bunch in advance! =)

I believe I am uniquely qualified for the scholarship to *******. When I push myself to do something, I achieve it. I enjoy the feeling of having succeeded in something, and I take that determination into everything I do. I have been on highest honors since I started middle school, and I‘d like to continue that into high school.

I participate in school and city supported sports, such as cross country and softball. I play my best game, and I have great sportsmanship. I look forward to trying more sports as time goes on and continuing sports I enjoy.

I make an effort to help myself academically outside school requirements. Three years ago I was invited to take a test for John Hopkins talent search, I scored highly and well above my grade level. Later I entered a poem I had written into the PTA Reflections Program. I came in first for my division at my school. It was unexpected, but I was pleased.

I hope that I will be considered for a scholarship and look forward to the future, even if I am not accepted. My future is my own, and I intend to make the best of it.

grammar nuts, i never thought i'd ask for your help. any changes?

alright, if you think of a color wheel there are about 7 main colors that i can think of, and everything else just sort of blends inbetween them. red, yellow, blue, green, purple, black, and white.

colors like orange and pink certainly count, but i don't view as necessarily important, but i suppose that rules out green as well... hmmm.

well, anyway, i was thinking, there are those colors, but do more colors exist that we just cannot see? can you even imagine a different color? could there be a place that has different colors? and if there was, could we see them?

This question is almost entirely different, but difficult to explain,

say you look at the color green. you've called it green your whole life, and you were taught when you saw this color it was green, but what if you were actually seeing blue, but calling it green, so what if blue is green and green is blue? there's no way to prove it, since you cannot see something through someone elses eyes.

I don't know, just some stuff to ponder. =) enjoy, and please answer.

A boy and girl made an odd pair together. The girl was always laughing, her eyes sparkled when she smiled, and she couldn't’t keep a straight face for longer than a moment. The boy was entirely different. He was solemn faced, thoughtful, and hardly ever smiled, let alone laughed. The girl loved him. But she hated his sober attitude and found him to be unhappy, despite his apparent contentment. So she decided to brighten his world. In the last week of summer, she brought him blueberry picking. He was absolutely confused by her invitation, but complied. He found her somewhat magic and beautiful, though he’d never admit it.

She pulled him through the woods until their hands were purple with berries and scratched from the bushes. They sat to rest in a clearing. The clearing was filled with light that washed down through the green canopy of leaves above them. The girl laid down on her back and stared up at the light. Her eyes were closed and she seemed to bath in it’s beauty. The boy stared with some jealousy. He was beginning to realize that she had something he was missing. Finally the girl sat up and their eyes met. He opened his mouth, to ask a question, any question that could break this delicate silence he couldn’t grasp.

Before he could speak, there was a rustling sound behind them. A baby deer poked it’s small head through the bushes. It’s large eyes stared at them both. The boy glanced at the girl. Her eyes shone as she watched the deer move closer with curiosity. The boy didn’t feel magic touch him, he felt slightly fearful as the fawn came closer and closer. He moved to stand, but the girl leaned forward and rested her hand on his. He froze as she touched him, feeling a shadow of something he couldn’t quite describe, and relaxed.

The deer moved closer and closer. The girl, without moving her hand on his, sat on her knees and reached out with her spare hand. The boy sucked his breath in as her hand found the deer’s head. The deer, who had been staring at both of them fearfully, blinked and rubbed her head against the girl’s hand. The boy glanced over at the girl, who was completely lost in the moment. Time was frozen for her, why was he still moving? He reached out with his hand, desperate to touch what she felt. The moment was lost and the deer ran off, with it’s white tail up in the air. His hand was frozen in the air.

The girl looked over and met his eyes. She lifted her hand off his, stood up, and started walking. He scrambled up and followed her graceful figure, feeling upset. She cast a smile back at him and he felt slightly better immediately. The girl’s thoughts were sad. It should have worked, he should have felt the beauty and magic. He should have been completely overcome. What had she done wrong? Maybe it just wasn’t the moment. She would keep trying.

They reached the edge of the woods in silence. The boy longed to reach out and grab her hand, to feel the shadow of the moment she had created. But he feared she’d let go, feared she didn’t feel that together they could be magic, even if he couldn’t grasp it. His usually sad face took on an even sadder expression as they walked, and it was a few minutes before he realized he didn’t know where they were going.

The girl looked back at him, a new idea blossoming. He looked up hopefully at her, praying she would say something. She smiled a sly smile, and he felt suddenly uncomfortable. She was planning something. She stopped and waited for him to completely catch up to her. When he was next to him he looked over and opened his mouth to apologize for scaring the deer, to apologize for being him, to beg for her to say something. Before he could even utter a word she grabbed his hand and started running. The boy was forced to run with her and they flew down the dirt road hand in hand. The boy glanced down anxiously at the ground, fearful they would trip. The girl laughed as the wind took her hair off her back and he squeezed her hand and tried to keep up. It felt like hours before they slowed. The girl’s hair was windblown but somehow lovely. Her breathing was heavy, but her eyes were sparkling. The boy was so busy looking at her, he hadn’t even realized where she’d brought them.

It was a lake. The ground was raised and the water glittered past the edge. Trees with large umbrella branches covered the shore. He realized her hand was no longer in his and he looked around for the girl frantically. He heard her laughing somewhere behind him. He saw her shoes cast on the ground next to him, and she suddenly flew past him, grabbed a rope that was hanging a few feet away and flew off the ground.

He gasped as the sunlight shone through her hair and she laughed as her tee shirt rustled with the air the was moving past. Her legs grasped the rope tightly, but as she flew out, her hands let go and her legs spread out. She let out a quiet gasp as she fell and hit the water with a splash. His shoes were off and he was ready to jump when

you may say that it's a group of things working together. but what makes something alive? a robot is made of working parts, but what makes it different from a tree?what makes something live and grow? it's not particularly a religious question, I'm just questioning that fact that there may be something there slightly different that we have yet to imitate and recreate. is it possible? I'm not looking for the wondrous one word answer, god. I'm looking for something a little better thought out. not that god is a bad answer and it's fine to believe in that, but that's not quite my question. happy answering.

what makes a person beautiful?

no smart butt answers about perveted crap.

tell me what you think. don't worry about capitalizing the i's. i'll fix em later.

I wouldn't call your arms heaven

because although they cradle me, so soft, so loving

i remember those arms holding me while i cried

i remember you saying goodbye

I wouldn't call your eyes beautiful

because with pain they dull

but I remember those eyes laughing

and i remember those eyes lacking

I wouldn't call you mine

because in all honesty, i hold no bind.

i remember what it's like without you

I remember the tears you drew.

I wouldn't call your name out loud

because i fear I'd draw a crowd

I remember the humiliation

i remember the frustration

I wouldn't leave you with the chance

because you never escape my glance

I remember the longing

I remember belonging

I wouldn't call us together

because we never said forever

I remember hoping

I remember coping

I wouldn't say we have a future

because the days are becoming fewer

I remember time is changing

i remember life rearranging

*coughcough* uh, well....

I went to the halloween dance last night and i had the best night i'd had in a very long time. i was dressed up in a cute costume, all my friends were there, includung my long time crush who i've been trying to get over. we've been friends for 6 years. uh, the guy who i've been falling hard for doesn't go to dances, so i wasn't worried about heart break. i was just dancing, cameras were flashing, there would be a lot of blackmail from my teachers hanging on the wall on monday. but my friend, (who has a boyfriend that didn't show) asked me to tell her to dance with some random guy. i laughed, and pointed to a kid in the grade below us. he was with a friend, and both we actually pretty cute. AND they weren't there with anyone. when we went over to talk, a slow song came on. my friend asked one to dance, so i felt bad and asked the other boy. AFTER we started dancing i told him my name and he told me his was bryan. his eyes NEVER left mine for the whole song. he was polite and sweet. i was nervous and the song was LONG. we talked a little, but mostly just danced. yes, there are pictures.

we went off out separate ways and the next slow song, i asked my friend to dance. he said yes. i was shocked. we danced, (more photos) then he freaked when he found out there were pictures. he asked the teacher to delete it, but i said i wanted a copy and the teacher said okay. (btw, he was a bad dancer. his hands were balled up on my waist and he spun around and made me dizzy.) my friend was really starting to like the 7h grader, and was trying to figure out what to do. (her bf was going to be mad, but the teacher deleted the pics of her dancing with him) last slow song, they danced together again, and bryan's friend said he really liked me. i asked him to dance to the last song. again, really sweet. my friends got more pictures. at the end my friend told bryan i wanted his number, and instead of reeling it off in a stuc up way like a lot of boys at my school, he asked if i really wanted it, and helped me remember it paitently. (no paper!) i still know his number, and i'm tempted to call, but he's in the grade below me, which means i'll never see him, and he can't go to the semi with me. what do i do? have a boyfriend to see how it works? or do nothing? i don't know if i'll even recognize him without the afro he had on!

I'm so freaking confused. there's a guy i really like, and he knows it. i asked him to a dance, but he said he had to go to his mom's, (which he really did, i know because i snooped...) but last year when i didn't like him as much i asked him out and he said he had a girlfriend. well aparently he doesn't anymore. he's a flirt. he looks at me all the time and makes faces to make me smile. if you answered my last question yes, it's the same freaking guy. if you find issue with this get a life, but i've been talking to him more now and he asked if i had a myspace. i don't, but i told him i'd check it out. he said there was a song on his page, "I don't wanna miss a thing" by aerosmith. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vo_0UXRY_rY&NR=1

I couldn't see the page without being on his friend's list, so i looked up the song. if you listen, you'll see why i'm confused. I went into school on friday and he asked if i'd looked at his page and or gotten a myspace yet. i told him no, but i looked up the song on youtube. he smiled a little and asked me if i liked it. i said yes, but then his friend interferred and said what song. he blushed, and said nothing. My friends all say he's playing me, but why go to all this effort? i'm not undateable, i mean, i'm skinny, way too nice, fairly pretty, smart, i'm on cross country, i smile a lot and laugh loudly. does he like me or is he playing with me? if so why?

how would i be able to apply for a private high school? the one I'd like to go to is really top notch, and if i could get a scholarship to go there, i think it would really help with applying for collage later on. would i be able to get a sponsor? would i be able to apply for one? I'm an A student and I've participated in a program that's already tested me at a high school level. my reading level is above high school average. Is it possible?

there's probably a ton of mistakes

just let me know. =) thanks in advance for reading.

This little girl with her big sad eyes

looked up at me like she was going to cry

And asked me why her prince had never come

and i fought for a smile but out came a sigh

Her tears broke free and i reached out to catch some

My entire body grew numb

And she wrapped her arms around me

and our hearts became drums

That we could hear but we couldn't see

I smiled finally, knowing it was key

And said he could be on his way

she said that couldn't be

What more could i say?

that everything would be okay?

with so much time left to wait,

she was so eager for tomorrow, losing today

If i could relate

to this little girl of eight

when would my own prince come?

lost in fairytales that dreams create

I was sure that her own prince would come

to find the beauty this girl would become.

it was silly to believe that we needed a prince to survive

even if for a while it left us numb

I lifted her face up to mine, her eyes bright and alive

"Your prince will come, you have to believe,

but you have to search for him too, he won't just come to you"

She stared at me in disbelief.

I stood up, feelin as if i'd grew

i thought of all the things i knew

i touched the top of her head, the things i'd given few.

and off i went, ready to continue

with life

all right, well this is from a while ago, but I'm still curious. here's how it goes. . . .

I'm kneeling next to a brook, and the water is really clear, you can see all of the pebbles at the bottom, they are bray and black and brown and red, like i was really there. there are trees all around me. in the middle of the brook, there's a rock. and there was a girl on the rock, how looked a lot like me, except she help herself with a lot more confidence and was perfect in every way. the only similarities were our skin tones and eye color. she was wearing a dress that sparkled, and she smiled at me, but it was a smile that made me shiver but i couldn't look away. then she looked very sad, and i reached out, but she like, i can't find the word, eased? she practically became the water and slid into the brook. i looked over the edge and fell in the shallow water. then i laid on the bottom, and the water just hardly covered my nose, i could have sat up, it wasn't that i couldn't, but that i didn't want to. and the water felt really really good. I'm not suicidal or anything, but i think i drowned. then i woke up.

Okay so there's this guy, this special, perfect, funny, cute guy that i fell head over heels for. last year i kinda liked him, so i had a friend ask him out for me. he said *quote on quote* Yes, no, i mean, i have a girlfriend! And we still stayed kinda friends. He complements my earrings everyday and mentioned me to one of my friends this year. he spends social studies class raising his hand to ask questions then looking at me in this " See? I'm smart! i pay attention aren't i great look" which totally isn't necessary, he's amazing, And making faces and trying to get me to laugh. he smiles whenever i smile or laugh, and i love his smile. basically, i never meant to fall so deep. Today, i was dared to ask him out, and when a friend found out, she asked him to the dance for me. i knew what she was doing before she did it and i ran. He said he had to go to his mom's house that night. he seemed sorry, called his mom a b***... i've no idea but i plan on having one,

is he just trying to avoid me? first with a girlfriend i can't find and second with his mom? he sends sooo many signals though, and he's my dream guy. he smiled and waved when i saw him after my friend asked him. What do i do? Does he really like me? or is he just a total flirt? Save me before i fall with no one there to catch me.

--elena

I have a few, if you'd like to read and comment. please don't steal them. =)

#1

All the pieces fall to the floor

All the pieces shatter into more

How small the shards become

The life the shards come from

The quiet smashing no one hears

but so loudly reaches my ears

My eyes close

This is what i chose

I'll never make the same mistake

I wish that for everyone one's sake

No one will know

of the pain i would never show

and of the life i gave

but couldn't save

From

Falling

#2

How dare you pretend to forget who I am

Pretend not to know that my thoughts break through the dam

And leave me here with tears running down my face

You run even though I'm too tired to chase

You make people stop and watch my pain

They don't know every face through my tears looks the same

The lyrics are running through my head like tears themselves

My heart's fallen from it's shelf

It's as sad as a music box's tune

I pray it will all be over soon

How could you forget the time that passed us by

We laughed , we cried, we sighed

The time we spent together

You know we cared for each other

I think I'm done.

it's been months since we begun

I'm done with the fake smiles

If time were measured to fit how I'd feel I'd measure it in miles

I'm done with the emotionless wordplay

That just brings more pain than I can say

I'm done with the pain I relate to

And I'm sick of there being nothing I can do.

I'm done

And I don't think I'll be back for more of the same.

Because you don't care about my pain

You don't care if I'm lying here with tears staining the page

You don't care if you leave me here broken in my mind that traps me in it's cage

You don't care if I'm breathless with loss

My mind I cannot cross

Is just that you don't notice?

Or didn't I show this?

I think my heart is too afraid.

A heart so cold you've made

I think you're the one to blame

For everything that came

I think you lost me forever

I think you're anything but clever

I think I'm finally sure

I wont be back for any more

So these are my words

I hope they hurt like the swing of a sword

And this is where I leave it

As you sit and read it.

#3

I stand on the edge and look over

but is it really my fault that i got here?

just to look at the pain that they've caused me?

what if i'd assumed it would make sense if i saw it all in front of me?

I know i was wrong but did it make that little sense?

If everything's meant to be broken,

where do our hearts come in?

I can sit down and wrap my arms around me but i can't stop myself from falling apart.

I stare at the city below,

what if i fall?

Would i break?

obviously. But what if i don't want to?

I just want everything back

every bit of innocence

is that so much to ask?

but i'm stuck,

and i can't take the world that's over the edge.

So there they are.

Does it sound too forced? just doesn't sound right? what? plez help! =)

The running ink chases the words from the page

there goes another wasted day

the words you read just before they blur

And your voice, bringing pain that nothing can cure

if only these words would steal my voice

they'd tell you that i always had a choice

I wasted my days falling in pretend

i thought i was falling in love while the days would just blend

Those words would tell you of all the pain you put me through

but it doesn't matter because now you're apology is too far overdue

You'll be lucky if you ever hear from me again

The words you say are lost in the pouring rain

The day has come when you have said I love you

but I can't truthfully say i love you too.

Because,

I love you can't bring back the days

I love you means nothing today.