Anon

I’ve been single for 4 years, my last relationship failed because the trust disappeared. There has been people that have shown interest in me who are good men and do give me a reason not trust them, but I still find it hard to give them my full trust. So how do let myself trust again and let my wall down?

I’m the youngest adult in the family. Family visits consist of everyone screaming and arguing then acting like it never happened. Majority of my family members are females so you can only imagine the kind of criticism that brings. My personality - I’m not outgoing, loud, confrontational. I’m quiet. I chose to cut contact with my dad when I was a teen after years of abuse. My mother took most of the physical / emotional abuse when they were together. She suffers from depression/anxiety as a result of it. She would just pass me to someone else, mostly my grandma. The only people I felt close to is my grandma and one of my aunts who had passed away 2 years ago. They were bearable before but not since. Recently we went on a family trip which I forced myself to go in hopes that we can become closer. Consisted of them arguing, my mom staying in the hotel room because her anxiety, one of my aunts going to San Juan for the protests, and me hanging out at the beach alone majority of the time. I sucked it up. Once back, I asked my aunt a question because she was the one driving: “I left my keys at grandma’s house, I can take an Uber from her house so you don’t have to go out of your way if you want?” She flipped sh*t. Began screaming at me asking why I didn’t bring my keys with me.I blew up, started screaming at her and my mom ganged up on me. A lot of things were said. I know family should mean a lot but if there’s so much negative energy coming from them, is it wrong to cut them off?