Nicole

I guess you could say I've had my share of disorders. I was bulimic for 5 years, I had anorexic eating tendencies for over 8 years, I self harmed for around 6 years, I was sexually assaulted (no penetration involved) by a 22 year old floor RA at my best friends college when I was underage (17), and on top of that I have body dysmorphic disorder. Being around guys terrifies me for various reasons, mostly stemming from having my face/ arms/ ribs bruised by guys I've talked to in the past (actions occurring around alcohol use) and I've distanced myself from everyone (to clarify I don't hang around with people who drink anymore and I've cut my ties to alcohol lately.) I feel cold and dead all the time and even though people tell me I'm attractive and yada yada yada and that I'm thin, I see myself as this overweight ugly girl. I'm 19 years old, I'm a complete virgin (complete meaning I've never preformed sexual acts on a guy) and I've never had a boyfriend. After what happened, I won't let myself get close to a guy and I no longer believe in love. Also because of the body dysmorphic disorder I feel disgusting and ugly all the time and it's almost like I push guys away because I'm so negative about my appearance. I know it's an ongoing battle with myself but can anyone give me advice as to what I should do to beat this? I so desperately want to fall in love with someone but at the current moment I don't think mr. right exists and I've become super depressed over this. Please... help me :(

I'm planning on getting two swallows tattooed to mark two major achievements in my life. I've been debating on if I should get it done as a chest piece with one swallow on each of my collarbones and have them holding a banner that says "Take it easy" or get them done on my shoulder blade and have "Take it easy" written underneath them in a spiral. I currently have my hip and my ribcage done so what would be better to balance the other two? Chest piece or shoulder blade?

I recently worked at Walt Disney World as a college program cast member. I'm returning to Disney next summer. I was in food but I'm hoping to go as a character. I'm 5'2 and 130 lbs (planning on losing about 15 pounds before next summer). Do you think I could pass as an Alice face character? I'm planning on auditioning, but I just wanted to see what you guys thought.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/50919238@N08/48946253...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/50919238@N08/48946202...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/50919238@N08/48952143...

I'm really not tan usually, I'm quite white when it's not summer. Also I lost weight since these pictures were taken. Thanks for any and all advice :)

All I can remember is that I think it came out in 2005. A girl gets kidnapped and brought to this old house. She is locked in the attic and finds a phone hanging from the wall. She dials out and the call goes to a payphone which a guy answers. He then goes onto a cellphone and later a car phone and goes to find her and save her. Does anyone have any idea what movie this is? It's driving me crazy

haha I have heard some pretty good ones.. my personal favorite is that Monday is the favored day for self-destruction. Tell me something useless and random =)

Earlier today my back started hurting when I laughed or walked. Then like 3 hours later my lower right side started to cramp. It hurt when I walked or pushed down on it. Now my whole stomach is killing and I feel like I am going to throw up/ pass out. Does anyone have any idea what could be wrong?

I wanted to know how I can improve my look.

Also could you please rate me 1 out of 10.. thanks

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff200/nikkimari...

(senior picture)

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff200/nikkimari...

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff200/nikkimari...

http://i241.photobucket.com/albums/ff200/nikkimari...

(prom)

a few weeks ago I woke up and my lower back started to hurt. This week it has increase to a pain that throbs. It feels like a knife is stuck in my back. It hurts to walk, I tried to crack it but I can never crack that spot. What could be wrong and what should I do??

BTW I am 17

my mother got mad at me last week because I wouldn't go out to get her replacement Christmas tree bulbs ( I told her I was in the middle of a paper).yelled at me but then she was fine after that. Yesterday we went grocery shopping and I closed the trunk because it was snowing and she has some clothes that were going to my grandma's house for gifts in there. She came out and told me I was a retard and I need to use my head. She told me that I talk to my best friend too much and that I should just move in with her ( every other word was a swear word). I told her not to bring my friends into anything and that I was not a retard. She kept on yelling at me so I walked away. Do you think that this is normal.. I kinda think she is Bipolar. Should I say anything to her or just let it go.. we aren't talking but I don't really mind, at least I am not getting yelled at.. Any advice for me? Thanks in advance

Two years ago I had a lump under my right armpit. It was removed in December and they told me it was an infection in the lymph nodes (or something like that.) I noticed a few days ago that the lump is back. Should I go back to the doctors, or should I just leave it alone? I don't want to keep having surgery to remove it every time it appears. What should I do?

I am 16 years old and participate in cheer leading 5 days a week at my school. Since the 9th grade (now in 12th), I have had knee pain along with my knees cracking about 20 times a day or more. Lately it has gotten really bad, the point where I want to cry. My doctor said that my knee cap is not gliding on the "track" the way it should be and that I have more cartilage on one side of my knee then the other. He gave me a brace to wear and then just sent me off. The brace doesn't fit very well, there are gaps in it and when I wear it, my knee hurts so much worse. He wanted to try to push my knee to the other side, trying to correct it with the brace. The brace seems to hurt worse when I wear it and I am not sure what to do. Any suggestions would be amazing.!

I like this guy who is in my grade. He is adorable, sweet and nice. Yesterday we had senior night at the football game, and me being a senior cheerleader, we preformed on the field. I asked the guy I like if he was going to the game and he was like no, I am going to visit family. After I was done dancing at half time, I saw him and we talked. I told him that I was happy he was there and he said that he couldn't miss senior night. Later he came and sat in the section I cheer at. I don't know if he likes me or not. There is also another problem. This girl (a freshman) is in the same class that I have with him and she constantly goes to his table and leans over it ( it gets annoying because she wears short skirts and very low cut tops). Every time he asks the teacher for help, she is always by his side. I guess he likes it sometimes, but then other times he has a really annoyed look on his face. Everyone says that they are just friends but she is like all over him. And then at the game, she showed up and started talking to him. I am not sure if he likes her, or if he maybe likes me. Any help would be appreciated!! Thanks

I am taking an Ap Eco/Gov class and I have to read a book on a president after FDR. Who is an interesting president and can you recommend a good book on that person. Also can you tell me what makes this president so interesting. Thanks in advance

I am 16 years old. I don't normally eat/ drink full fat milk products. Last week I ate ice cream that was normal ( I normally eat lite). I got really sick afterwards ( diarrhea). Tonight I went out to dinner with my family and ate ziti, and once again I am sick. Why is it that full fat milk products make me sick where I can eat/drink fat free milk products??? Could I be lactose intolerant?

My face is round. I want something that looks like this

http://s175.photobucket.com/albums/w124/H0llyWoodH...

Would this look good or no? My hair is dark blonde. Sort of like this color http://www.colormarkpro.com/language_en/images/eye... maybe a little lighter. I want to highlight my hair, what color should the highlights be? Thanks for the answers.

I am leaving for Florida tomorrow night. We are staying at a Marriott hotel from Sunday till Thursday. And then we have reservations at the all star sports in Disney Thursday night and Friday night. We have a two day Disney ticket no park hopper and a one day water park ticket. What is the best time to go to the Disney park during the week. I think the best thing to do is go to the water park while we stay at the Marriott and use the extra magical hours with the Disney park tickets when we stay at the Disney hotel. We are going to the Magic Kingdom and to Epcot. What is the best place to eat in these parks and which is the best waterpark? Thanks. Also what is new at these parks, I went there about 3 years ago.

Around 2002 Toyota was going to make a car that would get around 104 mpg. It would have had the lowest exhaust emissions also. Why did Toyota not follow through on this idea? With rising gas prices, more people can't afford their cars. Also the oil companies are making tons of money and our economy is suffering because we all have to spend more at the pumps. Why doesn't car manufactures produce cars that get over 90 mpg, I am sure that we all wouldn't mind paying more for a car that will save us so much money in the long run.

Link to the site about the Toyota eco spirit

http://www.wanttoknow.info/carmileage

my brother has severe acne around his face. He has gone to a dermatologist and they gave him products that didn't work and that cost my mom $300. I was looking on the internet and came across exposed. Does it work?? Has anyone tried it and how did it work for you?

http://www.exposedskincare.com/

link to the site

two days ago, my wrist had throbbing pains where I had to stop what I was doing because it hurt so bad. Yesterday I noticed that I had pain (around a 4) when I pulled a folding chair out. Today it hurts just to dial numbers on my phone (around a 6), What could be wrong with my wrist?

What is he saying at 1:20- 1:27 seconds? I really need to know...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=09e0UkRH5D0&feature=rel...

Thanks in advance