Digityle

State of NC - wondering whether I should go formally drop charges or just not show up in court. Can I get in trouble for filing charges then not following through? Also curious as to whether there will be court costs for myself involved either way, thanks

was browsing thru yahoo personals and was amazed at the number of people who put pictures of themselves when they were kids. Do they not know anyone with a camera to take a recent pic? are they looking for a pedophile? If they want someone who doesn't care about looks, why put a pic up at all? any thoughts?

sorry for the length...

My ex and I were married for 10 years, together for 6. When I met her (my first REAL relationship) she was twice my age, she was disabled, fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disorder, many other serious illnesses, however it was in early stages and she was still very active and healthy.

Over the years as her conditions worsened, I dedicated myself more and more to the care of her, making sure she had everything she needed. It started small, doing the shopping because it hurt her to stand more than 10 minutes. Then doing things that she wanted but I didn’t agree with (driving 30 miles to see if her family is home -they don’t have a phone)

Around about year 7 I switched jobs, was offered more pay at another company so I quit the job I had for 2 years... then 2 months later I was laid off from my new job :P

I hunted for a couple of months, but (the few) times I would find an opening, she would have a problem with it (too far away, wrong hours, I could get robbed working at a gas station etc.) and eventually I got depressed and quit looking because I was usually last in line for a job that 200 people were more qualified to do.

She made it (seem) obvious to me that she didn’t want me to work, she wanted me to stay there and care for her. At the end I did practically everything, all the housework, cooking, shopping, fixing up the new house- sheet rock-painting-floors the whole works, all the packing and moving to a new house, while she sat at the new house and hung out with her family.

I allowed her to do everything she wanted to do, almost everything she did turned out to be a big mistake, and over 10 years she lost her respect and love for me... she has always left me (40+ times) , I have always been willing to try to work our marriage out no matter how bad things got. She has left me time and again rather than compromise on anything. Basically I just completely gave myself to her, I argued constantly with all the decisions she made but in the end she always won.

To sum it all up... has anyone else gotten hurt by allowing yourself not to matter? By falling in love with someone so much that you ceased to exist, that your only reason for living was to serve them? If so, how did you deal with it? I’m just lost right now... don’t know what to do with myself and all this free time and silence...