?

I rarely EVER cry ...

About or over anything

But right now i feel like bawling like a lil b__

My father just texted me this and i still laugh when i read it

Dad: i just had to pull over my semi ..i couldnt see and almost wrecked

Me: OMG why what happened you alright

Dad: i farted and it fogged my windows up ..i almost died

Me: o_O youre retarded

What's the point in following someone if you can't see ANY of their activity?

I do it whenever about 3 maybe 4 loads build up...because i usually do it on fridays

Laundry sucks

Like 3D doritos and crystal clear pepsi

Because you read a question that you have a really good answer too ....so you type it all in ...correcting misspelled words . ...going back and rechecking your lonnngggg asss answer and when you finally hit submit ...THE DAMN QUESTION HAS BEEN DELETED

.Ohio

1. Women are prohibited from wearing patent leather shoes in public.

(...so men cant see the reflection of under her skirt)

2.It is illegal to fish for whales on Sunday.

(Because, you know, Ohio's whale population is a thing that exists.)

3. It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

(Because that's something everyone has tried?)

4. The Ohio driver’s education manual states that you must honk the horn whenever you pass another car.

(So, is that why people are randomly honking at me when I drive?)

5. It is illegal for more than five women to live in a house.

(OK, now that one I sort of get...)

6. In Akron, posting signs at swimming pools is illegal.

7. In Akron, it is also illegal to display colored chickens for sale.

(...and what about white ones?)

8. In Bay Village, it is illegal to walk a cow down Lake Road.

(But, you know, all other roads are OK.)

9. In Bexley, the installation and usage of slot machines in outhouses is prohibited.

(...So does this mean someone attempted this?)

10. In Canton, if one loses their pet tiger, they must notify the authorities within one hour.

(...What exactly happened in Canton to make this a law?)

11. Anal sex is banned in cincinnati

( who is actually snitching on this)

I usually cook everyday about 6pm

Have you seen Joe Dirt 2

I shower everymorning but have a bubble bath every night

I have not drank in like a year in a half! Just because i have not had the want to