PurpleCrab

In more than ideal conditions.

For the generation of my grandparents what was socially the best was to make your family appear great with white lies. Honesty wasn't THAT popular. They'd rather people keep their mouth shut than expose whatever may shame them.

Then, for the generation of my parents, there was a time and place to tell everything (to, let's say, your best friend) and those circumstances were clearly defined. It was still considered normal to tell white lies socially. Bluntly honest people were considered socially unfit.

Nowadays, around where I live anyway, it seems to be more and more encouraged to not be able to tell a single lie, especially amongst the youngest. It is a trait that people seem to be proud of; and lots of young people just blurt out whatever they deem being the truth whenever they feel like saying it, to whoever they feel like saying. No matter whom it hurts, no matter if the truth is something very relative.

Now what do you think about this? Am I missing something?

For the generation of my grandparents what was socially the best was to make your family appear great with white lies. Honesty wasn't THAT popular. They'd rather people keep their mouth shut than expose whatever may shame them.

Then, for the generation of my parents, there was a time and place to tell everything (to, let's say, your best friend) and those circumstances were clearly defined. It was still considered normal to tell white lies socially. Bluntly honest people were considered socially unfit.

Nowadays, around where I live anyway, it seems to be more and more encouraged to not be able to tell a single lie, especially amongst the youngest. It is a trait that people seem to be proud of; and lots of young people just blurt out whatever they deem being the truth whenever they feel like saying it, to whoever they feel like saying. No matter whom it hurts, no matter if the truth is something very relative.

Now what do you think about this? Am I missing something?

No matter where I look I can only find 150$ priced sportswear (which is what I'd like... just about the third of that price) or woman's stockings, that would do the job for about 2 times and then their good for the trash. Yeah I've tried. They tear. I'm very active and rough with myself, and being gentler is out of the question.

I also need a good compression for a bad case of varicose and work that has me standing all day.

No matter where I look I can only find 150$ priced sportswear (which is what I'd like... just about the third of that price) or woman's stockings, that would do the job for about 2 times and then their good for the trash. Yeah I've tried. They tear. I'm very active and rough with myself, and being gentler is out of the question.

I also need a good compression for a bad case of varicose and work that has me standing all day.

No matter where I look I can only find 150$ priced sportswear (which is what I'd like... just about the third of that price) or woman's stockings, that would do the job for about 2 times and then their good for the trash. Yeah I've tried. They tear. I'm very active and rough with myself, and being gentler is out of the question.

I also need a good compression for a bad case of varicose and work that has me standing all day.

Have you ever asked yourself this question...? What was the smelly thing that made you ask yourself this?

Respectfully, please enlighten me.

So far almost everyone around me and on the internet is claiming high and loud that kids are expensive, it's even a well known reason for abortions it seems.

On the other hand, I know about the hospital fees in the states to give birth and so on, I know about school fees and, well, general healthcare.

I also know that if the parents buy everything brand new and spoil their kids with a thousand toys, a home teacher/nanny, if they send their kids to expensive daycare and basically feed them steak every night, now the almost incredible amounts of money they are said to cost make more sense.

My question is for more reasonable parents with average income (and talents for saving), how are kids that expensive? I'm that type of parent and however I turn my finances around I can't justify paying more than 150$ a month for my kids. We eat normally, do our stuff ourselves and my wife stays at home to raise them... so far so good, it never cost me even close to that amount for my daughter.

Which leaves me with that question (above).

She has a very special personality and is going through an hard time in her life as she has been trying to conceive and has just started on fertility treatments. All her friends are having kids around her, too, which adds to her frustration.

But my problem is that she is all emo/depressive about it. She complains constantly that her friends don't come over often enough to see her, she complains that she doesn't have the type of friend she wishes she had... she writes (bad) poetry on Facebook randomly about the world being soooo bad and sooo unfair. Also she desperately tries to persuade people around her to not have any more kids, else she'd be WAAYYY too sad.

In short, she's rather annoying with trying to guilt her friends.

I've been honest with her in the gentlest way I could, but it seems like she isn't the type to be able to understand my concerns; she turns it around like: So you don't like me anymore? or You don't want to see me anymore? I understand. or I can't help it that's who I am. Or the likes. At least we've made it clear that I am not, will never be and don't want to be the type of friend she seeks for herself. She complains that I don't let her express herself...

The point is, I don't have that many friends, and I like to work on the friendships I have. I like her availability, mainly, and her compassionate character. I'm seriously considering to remove her from Facebook (that I put up mainly for keeping in touch with family anyway), but I think such a gesture would just crash our friendship to no return.

Anybody else lived something similar? How did you solve the problem?

Thoughts/suggestions?

Parents only answer please :D

...when it's not needed at all?

For example, you walk and decide to randomly cross a street where there is no crosswalk. You look on both sides and it's a very calm street, except for one car coming your way. If the car didn't stop, you would have just moved on and crossed the street right after it, making the whole thing quick, simple and easy.

But..!

The car decided to slow down and stop just before you as a courtesy gesture. While it slows down and stops, you obviously wait there until it completely stops. Results; both you and the driver loose time over what meant to be a nice gesture.

I am a walker and it happens to me quite often. I find it quite annoying; why don't they just move on? If they really want to be nice, they could stop for walkers when it really makes a difference... like when the walker is stuck on one side unable to cross because nobody will stop to let them pass.

But maybe I'm just weird for thinking that way. Am I?

It's about a guy who had a tattoo business, whom I believed the lies of for about 4 years, working for him. I really believed in his ideals to the point I considered him a friend of mine, almost a father figure.

Long story short, he betrayed everyone in the end and I lost a lot in this story.

I hate the B*stard, but that doesn't really matter... what I need is to really forgive myself for falling for his lies. It's a huge failure to me and I have no clue how to even start that process.

Have you went through something similar? How did you personally forgive yourself?

It's about a guy who had a tattoo business, whom I believed the lies of for about 4 years, working for him. I really believed in his ideals to the point I considered him a friend of mine, almost a father figure.

Long story short, he betrayed everyone in the end and I lost a lot in this story.

I hate the B*stard, but that doesn't really matter... what I need is to really forgive myself for falling for his lies. It's a huge failure to me and I have no clue how to even start that process.

Have you went through something similar? How did you personally forgive yourself?

It's about a guy who had a tattoo business, whom I believed the lies of for about 4 years, working for him. I really believed in his ideals to the point I considered him a friend of mine, almost a father figure.

Long story short, he betrayed everyone in the end and I lost a lot in this story.

I hate the B*stard, but that doesn't really matter... what I need is to really forgive myself for falling for his lies. It's a huge failure to me and I have no clue how to even start that process.

Have you went through something similar? How did you personally forgive yourself?

In the hypothetical parallel world in which you would have been born as the other gender yet were still yourself (the same brain),

(therefore, you would have been born with transgenderism...)

...do you think that you would have simply accepted to live as (the other gender) normally, OR do you think you wouldn't be at ease and would try to have your body match your mind?

My reason for asking: people like this guy (see: http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind%E2%80%A6 ) seem to believe that people born with a mind-body mismatch should/could just accept the situation and live as the other gender. Most of the LGBT community would agree that's practically impossible, but I get the impression that most cisgendered people think this way... and I'm wondering if I'm right.

Hoping I'm wrong, though. But if I'm right, it would explain a lot of the discrimination.

In the hypothetical parallel world in which you would have been born as the other gender yet were still yourself (the same brain),

(therefore, you would have been born with transgenderism...)

...do you think that you would have simply accepted to live as (the other gender) normally, OR do you think you wouldn't be at ease and would try to have your body match your mind?

My reason for asking: people like this guy (see: http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Av... ) seem to believe that people born with a mind-body mismatch should/could just accept the situation and live as the other gender. Most of the LGBT community would agree that's practically impossible, but I get the impression that most cisgendered people think this way... and I'm wondering if I'm right.

Hoping I'm wrong, though. But if I'm right, it would explain a lot of the discrimination.

In the hypothetical parallel world in which you would have been born as the other gender yet were still yourself (the same brain),

(therefore, you would have been born with transgenderism...)

...do you think that you would have simply accepted to live as (the other gender) normally, OR do you think you wouldn't be at ease and would try to have your body match your mind?

My reason for asking: people like this guy (see: http://ca.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Av... ) seem to believe that people born with a mind-body mismatch should/could just accept the situation and live as the other gender. Most of the LGBT community would agree that's practically impossible, but I get the impression that most cisgendered people think this way... and I'm wondering if I'm right.

Hoping I'm wrong, though. But if I'm right, it would explain a lot of the discrimination.

I know it's a very broad question, but to make it somewhat more precise it would be like: What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of kids?

What about when there's a crying brat in the store?

What about when a relative gets a baby?

What about the idea of having kids yourself?

What about kids in the world?

...my reasons for asking is that heterosexual people's opinions on kids is quite often assumed to be that kids are great especially our own but they are expensive and tend to ruin your life if you have them while you're too young.

I find that LGBT most often double-think about our life choices and have properly ground opinions of our own.

That would be a good question for mtf transgender's spouses!

My wife is a mtf, but has remotely and very rarely a period when she feels more manly. It's the first time it happened really that strong since we've been together me and her and I feel rather helpless as how to deal with this, and how to satisfy her in those times.

Yes, we've talked about it.

Yes, I've tried playing, disguising as a girl, and being as feminine as I can and well it just doesn't work. I'm simply not a woman.

I'm a man born with transgenderism too but I never feel like the other gender so I can't really understand that.

In short, it feels like I'm in a gay relationship with a straight man right now and that's just awkward. Any suggestions?

...or to star a question?

A-You agree /disagree with the post

B-You find that it does/doesn't answer the question

C- Other (please do tell)