Euboea6969

This happened to me two nights ago.

She also tried to get me to come out of my room (it was a bit awkward) to hang out with them. That kind of pissed me off because of how oblivious it seemed, and I got a bit upset later over text - went a little overboard. She later told me it was to help me "get over her," and that she understood why I d be uncomfortable and thought that it could help me/make it less awkward. Like I actually think she was trying to be helpful, but still.

Recently, like 4 days, while talking to her for like an hour in private I had told her I still liked her, but wouldn t go back (largely because of certain thing that made me SUPER uncomfortable and because she made in no uncertain terms clear that she didn t want me back) and was moving on so that we could become close friends again. And it seemed on track for that to happen, until the other night

We were talking about something going on with me, and i asked if that s why she swiped and she it was to be polite. So I said that I do that too. And then she said "lol good to know you were just being polite". And I said, well that s not the only reason why. And she responded Uh ok?

She s kind of cute, and I ve had like a mini crush on her in the past. So I d be down to go on a date with her or and get to know her more.

I dated this person briefly in June, but we didn't think we had enough chemistry. Turns out I still had more interest in the idea of the relationship which I realized later, and had a bunch of unanswered questions about it. Forgot about the things I didn't like and only remembered the things I did.

Basically, after hanging out for like 8 hours, I convinced myself I still liked her. Told her, got shot down, which I expected.

Now, I'm trying to decide if I can go back to being friends with her (I told her I would), but I feel really awkward and ashamed about the whole thing. What should I do?

EDIT: I think i should mention, my feelings aren't actually that strong at all, I'm more just awkward and ashamed and afraid I won't not be awkward cause I'll always have those "what if" questions

Briefly went out with a girl in June, till we decided we had no chemistry and ended it. Realized I still kind of liked her a week ago and told her, but got rejected.

Not sure I want to be friends with her rn - the awkardness is worse than the rejection, which wasn't that bad.

How to girls usually take this?

We went out a few times in June, and then decided we didn't like each other that way. Not so sure anymore though.

I realized after hanging out with her for like 8 hours, that I was still kind of trying to impress her, unintentionally. That I was battering with her. That little things were making me kind of embarrassed. She's also kind of the type I generally find attractive.

I think the problem is that i have a hard time connecting on dates, and need to do it as friends. Like maybe we started too fast and should have just been hanging out.

TLDR: Not sure how to tell a girl I kind of like her, after earlier mutually agreeing that we weren't connecting.

Backstory: I had a crush on this girl i didn’t know very well for a year, and went out with her a few times in June but thought we had no chemistry/connection. That was mutual at the time.

Now though I just hung out with her alone for like 7-8 hours just talking (she’s in my friend group) and think I may still be a little attracted to her (she’s my type and checks off every type). I was joking around a lot and kind of flirting and I think it might have been for a bit of a reason. I was also thinking how I wished we were hanging out as more than just friends, in that moment.

Should I tell her this and say we can’t be friends right now because of it? I don’t believe in false friendship.

Recently went out with a girl (a friend actually) a couple times whom I’d liked for a long time because I liked a lot of things about her character, only for us to realize we didn’t connect emotionally and that while we had some fun there wasn’t romantic chemistry so we broke it off.

Thing is I was not myself during this time. Have ADHD (take antidepressants for it) and decided to go back on them right after first date. Caused intense levels of anxiety and gut pain which I attributed to feelings about her since I forgot they were early symptoms. Also since the meds hadn’t actually taken effect yet it was not easy to connect with her anyways. Which was wierd because we had definitely connected in the past.

This happens to me a lot on dates tbh (problems building chemistry), more so than when not dating, something we both mentioned as having a problem.

So I’m curious, would anyone be willing to give someone a second chance or change mind over chemistry.

TLDR. For certain reasons I’d be willing to give a second chance to someone I thought I had no chemistry with but am wondering if any women would feel the same from her position

This is something I’ve noticed in the past as a problem I have, and I’m curious if anyone else has noticed something similar.

I’ve just noticed that when I’m trying to gauge feelings and such or on a date I’m never gonna have that kind of connection. Ever. I’m just constantly over analyzing myself. The best first date - in this sense - that I went on was one where instantly decided there wouldn’t be a second and then had fun because I wasn’t thinking about it.

I’ve only had chemistry maybe once (maybe) and that was someone with BPD...

Was recently dating someone I d been into for a while, only to realize we didn t vibe that way after a few dates. So we ended things mutually.

Thing is, there were a lot of external factors that were affecting my mood and such (going back on antidepressants caused me horrible side affect anxiety) and I m also really bad at connecting romantically with people when I m dating - as opposed to when I’m just being friends (I overthink). I m only curious because she s extremely attractive, my type on paper, and we are friends in person (friend group). She also basically described me wen stating what her type is.

Anyways, does anyone have stories of situations like this where two people initially thought they weren t good for each other and much later caught feelings and got together?

Recently was in a situation, that could damage a future friendship. Said something wrong/misleading/insulting when ending a casual relationship, and offended this person. Apologized but not sure it was sufficient even tho she said we were cool. Her perception of me is definitely altered now, and I feel like she’s only saying that since we’re in the same friend group.

I’m planning to initiate (already did actually reach out) a conversation where I explain and apologize better, in an attempt to mend the relationship.

Is this the right idea?

Recently ended a budding casual thing (mutually), because feelings were not there on either side. I, however, was interested in continuing casually/fwb (didn't push it really much because I wanted to respect what she wanted) but she wasn’t.

In the process, I let on something that was in hind sight not the best thing to say, which she pointed out to me. I mentioned that on our last date I had been feeling only friend vibes and was planning to end things after, but that afterwards I went in for a kiss and was blown away because it was very different than earlier kisses with her and that that changed my mind enough to want to go out again ( I did as her out again. Obviously my decision was more complex than what I let on ). That was while I was talking about being friends with benefits.

We also had an awkward text conversation afterwards where I inadvertently pissed her off, which is when she told me about being angry at me (abou last paragraph).

While She later told me she's no longer upset about it - we're friends now and nominally on good terms, it’s pretty clear that I let on that I only really valued the physical aspect of that fling (while she clearly wanted to be friends) and that I hadn't really enjoyed getting to her know/hadn't cared to. Like only wanted her physically and not for her personality/who she is.

not sure what to do going forward though - I feel like maybe explaining what I actually meant could maybe friendship easier?

Recently ended a budding casual relationship (mutually), because feelings were not there on either side. I, however, was interested in continuing casually/fwb (didn't push it really much because I wanted to respect what she wanted) but she didn't.

In the process though, I let on something that was in hind sight not the best thing to say, and which she pointed out to me. I mentioned that on our last date I had been feeling only friend vibes and was planning to end things after, but that afterwards I went in for a kiss and was blown away because it was very different than earlier kisses with her and that that changed my mind enough to want to go out again (and I did as her out again. Obviously my decision to do so was more complex than what I let on in that statement, but its how I put it right then). That was while I was talking about being friends with benefits. She was somewhat offended by that, which I found out later on.

We also had an awkward text conversation afterwards where I inadvertently pissed her off, which is when she told me about being angry at me.

She later told me she's no longer upset about it - we're friends now (and were before) and nominally on good terms.

But did I objectify her or was this a little unreasonable?

I walked onto my college rowing team (so Im on the beginners crew for the fall season). However, in the last month since joining, I have found that there are other things on campus that I enjoy more; have not connected to the people on the team; and have found that its really time consuming in a way that I find almost debilitating towards those other things that I enjoy. So should I quit?