Richard G

I made no phone call, had not been out all day but suddenly a tazor light appeared on my bedroom window. I was watching tv while on be. I had a good idea what it was, and yes there was a police van and car parked at the bottom of my garden. Officers stood at each corner of garden - no knock on door etc. so I opened the window that kept glass between me and the man with the gun. We talked and tazor was turned off.

I am an epileptic, and had a brain operation for it, which involved leaving staples INSIDE my skull. I broke my cheek bone due to a fit, which needed a metal plate and I am inline for an operation where a device similar to a pacemaker is implanted and then goes to the brain with a wire. Is metal not a conductor? Hummm . . . .

Anyway I went to the front door and GENTLY opened the door. If I had briskly opened it then I would have thought that it might look aggressive, and they might have had reason to think a knife or even a gun was then going to be used - I could, in a way, understand if it was used in that situation. Slowly, while I stood behind the door I opened it. That meant my body was at an angle to the officer and mostly hidden. WITH NO WARNING AT ALL he fired it! No warning was given - but on those cop programmes on TV they ALWAYS are, and the police are soooo nice.

My top layer of clothing had just been pulled across my front, with no contact at all of metal to my flesh. I just closed ( or should that be slammed I wonder?) the door closed. I was FURIOUS so went up to my bedroom and drew up a might big overdose of insulin, simply in retaliation - NOT trying to commit suicide at all - however I did end up in a coma.

What I really would like to know - is what would have happened is GENTLY I had closed the door. I would have had plenty of time to close it slowly as they had not even stepped onto the grass, never mind done the 6 or 7 metre gap up to the house. Once the door was closed I would have got a cable with a plug on the end - I know I have one with bare wires at the other end. I could have plugged in the wire - socket turned off at the wall and wearing leather gloves I have then attached the two wire attached to the penetrating spike of the gun.

I would have LOVED to see what would happen when I then turned the plug on though. They gave me no warning so when I contacted the station and complaint I was told that they had been tested out on people with pace makers, and even if the heart missed a pace it would then get back to normal. The heart is a muscle which MOVES due to impulses. I am sure a brain would react differently, so could my brain have been damaged?

Thanks for reading, especially as I have been told that when most would explain with a sentence or two I would write a novel!

Richard

I know that the most common problem for men is premature ejaculation, but for me it seems to be the ABSOLUTE opposite. I know that this does have benefits, such as most of my ex girlfriends have not just had one or two orgasms every time, but multiple. One of them actually passed out as it got too much for her to cope with, but she then got her revenge.

The lady that I gave so much pleasure to that her mind just could not cope decided that she most definitely WOULD make me ejaculate. I was held down on the bed and "tortured" - but obviously in a fantastic way! - for about 45 minutes before she eventually let the intercourse start. That time I only JUST had entered her when I came.

Is there maybe something to do with my medications? I am both diabetic and epileptic, having had one brain operation for the epilepsy, and another one soon to be done. I am on and insulin pump and take four different anti-convulsants, along with things for my kidneys (not working properly due to diabetes) and my nerves, as in feeling hot or cold with fingers not emotional feelings, which again is due to the diabetes. I have also been DEAD twice due to the epilepsy and an EEG showed my brain is dying off faster than most peoples, and it is as if I am ten years ahead.

Is it likely that these things, or some of them, might be affecting my "normal male" reactions or is it just one of those hick-ups that humans have. As they say no human body is perfect and we all have a slight medical problem here or there!

Thanks a lot.

Richard

Thanks for reading this. First may I say that I have been, because of an incident in Hope Hospital, Manchester, I was referred to a nuero-psychiatris. At that time there were things, but nothing major. Passed me on to a nuero-psychologist, who saw me somewhere between 6 and 10 times - then said too much for her. So a specialist specialist was un-able to cope, now a specialist, specialist, specialist took over. She saw me twice and on second time said it was too much for her, gave me print outs of the net and discharged me! Story continues . .

About 14 mth ago I heard a knock at the door. Two plain clothed police officers were there, who told me wife and kids not coming back from "holiday" in Philippines. But that was not the start of my problems - as I had been "fired" about 4 years earlier for having an epileptic fit at work. I need NEVER have worked as have been DEAD twice, had half of one lung burnt away by chlorine and had a brain op to try to stop fits. Also fifty thousand injections for diabetes.

Due to brain op I have SEVERE memory probs - like could not remember sons name for 3 mths. But there are things that I simply CANNOT forget - like mum (teacher) leaves me & 2 sisters with dad (deputy head teacher). I am his football and trampolene, sleeping for 3 years with penknife under pillow - eventually using it. When drowned aged 15 in swimming baths (chlorine from) due to fit it was summer hols, but mum did not see me in ICU. Aged 24 had brain op - needed carer to look after me, but parents refused so ended up with girlfriend and her parents.

This just goes on and on - like when I got "fired" even though I have saved government quarter of a million pounds by working and not needing benefits, plus paid tax etc they REFUSED to give me income support, which they DO give to those who could always have worked! Father dies and leaves all to younger sister, even though she did nothing for him and I did some (I admit not as much as most kids would for their parents though!). Her guilty conscience then makes her accuse me of doing something, which later was proven to be nothing but lies and they reckon her guilty conscience playing on her.

Because of my parents splitting I had VOWED never to leave my children, but they were taken away from me. I have struggled all of my life and seriously do wonder why I should bother to carry on. I go to Manchester for my epilepsy, but one time walked in through the front door and went into a coma. That was due to my blood sugar going low. I have been barred from the local shopping centre, becuase when the sugar is low you either go very quiet, like I did in Manchester, or appear aggressive as I did then. The same happened in the back of an ambulance, so they called the police. A sergeant of the Lancashire Constabulary, from their Blackburn station, threw me into the back of the van saying "there is no camera in here, so you will have no proof". He bent my thumb all the way back - - and then further. If you are hypo you can hear and see, but cannot speak or even grunt. He turns to his colleagues saying "he's not responding". Then gets his baton out and rubs it up and down both shins so hard that my skin was removed - and I am now scarred. This was investigated and yet that barstool got away with it as I "must have scraped them on the back of the van".

Due to all of these hypo's I am now on an insulin pump. A cartridge holds 300 units, and currently am using 0.7 an hour plus the needed amount for each meal. I still have my insulin pens though, along with the needed cartridges for both the quick, but short acting humalog or the longer slower lantus. I wonder . . . along with maybe two of each sleeping tablet, leaving pump on normal dosage but giving a full cartridge of both humalog and lantus would all of this then stop? I have already been into the local two hospitals psychiatric INpatients twice, but both times those totally ignorant (as in inexperienced) staff said that nothing at all was wrong. So was a neuro-psychiatrist wrong with saying somethings? And then a specialist, specialist, specialist of a similar dept saying there was too much? Where do I go? What do I do? Oh and as well - I do not loose my "dead" skin, most loose more than a spoon full a day. I can peel mine off and make myself bleed. Did I even ask to be born?

Over the last five years things just seem to have got worse and worse. I know that there are plenty of others who are "out of work" or "struggling" etc etc, but things have literally just got one on top of another.

1. "Fired" for having epileptic fit.

2. Denied income support. I NEVER need to have worked as been dead twice, lost half lung and had brain op. but still have and paid taxes etc.

3. Father dies leaving all to younger sister. Been assessed by man used by courts after she said I raped her as child. He said it was just a story, as I KNEW, so she did not feel guilty keeping all.

4. Other house totally ruined (inc illegally re-wired), so now if sold not £30k in hand, but still owe bank £10k.

5. Wife just gone to Philippines for Xmas, 5 Dec to 24 Jan. 23 Jan police at door saying wife not coming home.

6. Now have £1000 per month less coming in, but just same amount going out. This is due to child tax credit and carers allowance being stopped by benefits department. Also council stopped £450/month rent for other house.

Since being told my wife not coming back I have started to look round. Have found in house card from W.I.S.H. Womens Institute (?) for Safe Housing. Not ONCE touched my wife, even to push her away, never mind hit or kick etc. Only EVER argued/shouted once - have disagreed, but not SHOUTED! When she came over her all that she had was a suitcase of clothing. I even had payed for her wage the last six months of her being in the Philippines, so that she could be with her daughter, who I adopted, until she left. I paid for that ticket. I then paid for both her parents to bring their grandchild, so that they could see where she was. Later I also paid for her mother again to come here, just after her dad had died. In December it cost £2200 to pay for the two children and her to get returns to the Philippines. If you weree to add all those tickets up then it accounts for ALL of the money that she has ever earned, and yet now she will be entitled to half of MY house etc.

I reckon that this might well have been a long-winded way of getting a British passport, by marrying me, and then hoping that I would be able to maintain her. I need NEVER have worked as I had, by the age of 25 (now 43) been dead twice, lost half of a lung due to it being burnt away by chlorine, and had a brain operation. I have saved the governments and country quarter of one million pounds by doing so, and yet they could not even afford £20 per week. I NEVER had been over-drawn before I got "fired" for having my fit at work, and yet now I am going to loose everything.

I honestly do wonder if life is REALLY worth it???

Thanks

My wife is from the Philippines - but so? Many folks here in UK turn their noses up at that, but why? Now I understand! It is not the wife, but the trouble the parents-in-law cause!

We were married and about five months Malou moved here, but on her own. I had accreped to her daughter, Xiana ( pronounced sharna ) coming a bit later, and when she came it was with Malous parents. That was to show to them where both of their off-spring would be. So many times you hear of "mother-in-law" situations that I wanted this to work! Did it? DID IT FoCK!!!!!

Me being wrong in ASKING for English food in England was wrong, and then being offered help, only being TOLD what to do was wrong? HUUMM!!!!!!

Later her dad offered help. That was when I was in the middle of doing something, but fine..... I accepted. But who was the boss??? Not me!!! I told Malou how I felt, but then when her parents left whose fault was it? Yep you got it..... MINE!!!!

Please help me now as her dad died, son was born and mum is here. I do not want to hurt my misses, but also REFUSE to be controlled by her mothers presence! I honestly would kick her backside into a blackhole for all she is worth - but could you maybe make that even better????

Please help!!!

Thanks