Lizzy

So I like this guy and I’m pretty sure he likes me too. I got his number about a week ago (from my smooth talking skills) and we text a lot. Actually everyday we talk on the phone for over an hour. I flirt and he I tries but not sure (he’s a cutie). Anyway I’m not sure if I should say I like him and ask for him to be my boy friend or wait some more. We have one class together and we talk after school lots so our friends don’t get mad at us for taking the other away. Technically we already went on a date to the cemetery that was close by but we have another thing next week. In a conversation I asked him out to eat and he said yes so we planned it out and that I think will be our first kinda real date. But should I ask him out before or after?

There is a music video and I forgot what the song is called. It was super upbeat and contagious. It was kinda like a zombie apocalypse but if you heard the song u would start to dance.

I don’t know y or how I can stop it. I love chocolate to much to give it up

So u know in movies and shows how teens are Moody and want to be alone? Ya well it’s usually the older teens, right? I’ve been thinking it’s more of the 11-12 year olds and around that age who are like that. Heck, I was like that then but not after 14-15. After that age I more of wanted people’s attention. I was told by my mom I would roll my eyes a lot when I was 12 and such sooooo. My opinion is the archetype of a teenager is maybe a bit off. Pls tell ur opinion bc this is gonna drive me insane.

Me: im sad, I don’t know y, I’m useless, pice of garbage, both my parents are diagnosed with depression, etc, etc...

My mind: u piece of ****, ur just looking for attention

Me: im really not, I just want to be left alone

My mind: ya right u whiny *****, u say that but then y do u isolated ur self in ur room, y do u like a guy u have only known for 3 weeks, y did u do that thing last week, y r u slowly trying to close off to ur family, y r u posting this after years of our debate.

I mean I guess it impacts how u live but y is it so constant in conversations?

When ever my mom is coming to pick me up or she’s at the door I know before she’s even knocking, calling, or was walking down the hall. Do any of u have this kind of super power ish radar with someone?

My parents divorced when I was 10 so I knew the basics of what was happening. My dad had anger issues, depression, and one other thing but I forgot the name (maybe ADD ) anyway my mom was cheating and left. He went through alot but was always trying to make my mom sound all bad and he was good. I believe him for awhile. Also through out all this my little sis and I where (are) living with with our parents half and half for each week. Later on I knew more and was more excepting of why my mom left (not the way how tho) as I grew older I would get into more fights with my dad. Since he shows love with physical touch like hugs I started to hate that and avoid him. I wanted to live with my mom but my biggest fear then was that he would kill himself, I still live half a week with each. What should I do, I can't really talk it out with him bc when I try it becomes a big deal and I cry. I also can't go to other people bc I don't trust many people in person and the ones I do I can't trust for these issues.

Since I was young at random points in my life I would get a felling like emptiness and static. Everything would seem to big or to small and I felt like the world was only static (like the old TVs when nothing was on but the tv made a weird sound). Anyway it was really scary but then it stopped for a few years until I started having similar dreams to that feeling. Alone, tightrope walking, answering 3 questions but if I got one wrong I would fall into the grey ish black static void. Is that a bad thing or should I brush it of ignoring it like I have this long?