Keith

I've been eating a lot more salads lately and decided I'd do a test on myself since my body reacts to most things differently. After over a week of eating something to the point were I'm nearly full, then eating a salad until I'm full, I've come to find that the salad was making me hungry again about ten minutes after. It never happened on days when I'd do the same thing without the salad. I'd stay very satisfied until after my scheduled dinner time. Even now, I've just eaten a salad and am starting to feel my stomach become far less full.

What's wrong with me?

To let you know right off the bat: I'm a philosophical thinker. I meditate a lot, try to think about things as rationally as possible, and hold any sign of emotion in while telling nothing but the truth; I'm also an admittedly silly jerk. I can't talk without making some reference that I find humorous, and that most others often find humorous as well.

Here's the story:

Since I am constantly joking about everything I thought my son's mother, who I keep in contact with as friends, would know and be used to this. Apparently - someone who's more serious than myself can't stand me when they're stressed. The conversation started off alright, I was mostly making her feel better about being stressed. I then decided to take the reigns and pull them tighter by making her laugh and enjoy the conversation; still good so far. This is the hard part: The conversation took a sudden turn towards awkwardness. She stated something that may or may not have been a joke and I was 'weirded' out by it. I implied nothing more than the fact that it was really awkward while laughing it off, and she then said that I'm always negative.

I have never in my life been called negative by anyone other than her. I'm not sure if she's not used to people constantly joking about everything, even the stuff that she knows I feel awkward about, or if she was just saying this out of stress; she tells me that she gets stressed when she talks to me 'cause she knows that I'm going to say something negative.

Example:

-She's starting to see someone else.

-I joke around by saying that he has the face of a guy that's going to have a receding hair-line.

-We laugh while she says that he won't.

-I keep along with the playfulness by chuckling and saying he will.

Through all of the laughing about it I missed the part where she had a sudden strike of stress, because that's something she stated she felt I was negative about nearing the dreadful ending of our conversation. I'm not seeing where I'm negative whatsoever, as everything I say we laugh and play around about. I've been called a lot of things throughout my life, mostly by jerks who I've never actually come in contact with, but negative isn't one of them - until now.

In a sudden state of emotional hurt, feeling that my heart had sunk into my stomach and began squeezing it, I burst out telling her how hurt I was by that statement. I couldn't help myself by being kind of a jerk during the sudden calamity, mostly because I haven't cried in (capitol/bold/underline/italicize) years (end c/b/u/i), and thus wasn't able to control my tone of voice. But, I couldn't stop myself from being so angry at her being able to be stressed while I was meant to say almost nothing - or robotic tells of the bull-crap everyone else feeds their friends throughout their "times of need". She now only wants to call me to let me know how our son is doing.

I just feel so justified. But the way she gets angry makes me feel like I was in the wrong, even though I've never had to question any decision I've ever made.How bad of a jerk was I? Did I have any right whatsoever to be angry that she would just be so offended by something she should recognize after years of knowing me? Or should I feed in to her emotional needs without saying anything? I won't go in details of everything that was said exactly, but this gist should give you a general idea.