Becka

So this is the first time I'm dealing with this kind of situation.. My boyfriend and I got back together about a month ago. We were on and off for a year before we got back together. We almost called it quits today and I was even packing all my things to move out; it seemed as though he wanted to give up on us because he thought we "fight every day" and I just didn't want to see him unhappy.. so I thought I would give him what he wanted. He didn't really try to keep me here.. in the past he had tried to get me to stay.. Even as I was packing and crying, he lacked any display of sadness... We talked and agreed that no one is perfect and that we would keep trying for us because we love each other. We both agreed we needed more "me time" apart from each other, which I figured would be something like picking up a hobby or hanging out with friends during the day.

I moved in with him as per his request, even though I have no friends or family in this town and am still seeking employment.. Things get pretty lonely.. Especially since he plays computer games 90% of the time he is home..

He asked me if I was going out tonight and said "Not like you would have any place to go" =/ I said no. He said "I am". I asked where he was going and he said he didn't know. I asked who he was going with and he said "people from work". Then said "Don't worry, they all have boyfriends". So they're all girls.. I asked when he made these plans, he said yesterday. Before we had the discussion about the "me time" situation.

I immediately felt hurt.. It made me think of an article I read that said "When part of a couple, one acts as a couple and considers the other partner before making plans". He didn't even invite me to go with him. In fact, he didn't want me to. He said it was his "me time".

I told him I viewed the "me time" differently, just like lunch alone with the opposite sex is different than dinner alone with the opposite sex. He said him going out tonight wasn't a big deal. I started packing again because it felt like our future is just doomed to disagreements and arguments (which is exactly what made him want to quit). He said he was tired of trying.. We talked some more before he left for work. Before he walked out the door said "I'll see you when I'm home from work. Or I won't. It's your choice." Completely void of any sense of caring... But he did come back in and kiss me on the cheek when he saw I was crying.. It hurt that it felt like he didn't care

I want to feel fine about him going out. I know we should be able to go out without each other. But I don't even have that option. He is just choosing to leave me at the apartment while he goes out having a good time with a bunch of other girls. I know a guy that I could join drinking with him and his friends tonight, but to me I feel like I would be doing something wrong to my relationship. It would just be an act of retaliation.

I'm wondering if I should just give up.... I feel as though I'm already losing him, even though he says he loves me...

Sorry so detailed. Does anyone have anything helpful they can tell me?

Should I ask him to go out another night since we were so close to breaking up today?