SoCal Dude

I recently rejoined eHarmony, and have been in touch with two women during the past two weeks:

Woman 1: Lives in same city that I do. We've already gone out twice, and are going out for a third date later this week.

Woman 2: Lives about 30-35 minutes away from me. She usually takes 2-3 days to respond to my messages, but she does respond. She was hoping to meet me in person for the first time later this week.

It's tough to compare the two, because I know Woman 1 far better than Woman 2. There are a few things "on the surface" that I like more about Woman 2 (two years younger than Woman 1, and a bit more attractive physically), but there's plenty I like about Woman 1, and could see us being in a long-term relationship too.

With all that said, what would be the best way to handle this?

In early 2010, I went on roughly 3 dates with a woman who is 3.5 months younger than me (for context, we both are 40 now).

After a few dates, I told her that I was no longer interested in dating her. Although I did not tell her this, she had some very unusual "quirks" that were a huge turnoff.

This is pretty important... About a year later, one of my friends, who studied psychology, told me that this woman's quirks could be indicative of either Asperger's or some other form of high functioning Autism Spectrum Disorder. For the sake of this question, let's assume that this "diagnosis" is correct, and that she is not suffering from any other type of disorder.

About a week ago, this woman sent me a "Friend Request" through Facebook. She has made a number of attempts to reach out to me since we stopped dating, but prior to this recent Facebook request, the most recent one was in Fall 2013. So this is the first time she has tried to contact me in about five years.

My feeling is that the best thing is to simply ignore the request, and not contact her. I'm still single myself, but if I were married or engaged, I would be more inclined to write back, and ask her kindly not to contact me anymore.

Do any of you feel that I should be taking a different approach? Also, if she were to try contacting me by phone or text (which she did in 2012 and 2013), should I respond?

My last serious girlfriend broke up with me about four months ago. I've gone on dates with a number of other women since the breakup, but none of those dates turned into steady relationships.

About a month ago, there was a week that I went on first dates with four different women. Since that time, I haven't made an effort to meet anyone new. I went on a fourth (and final) date with one of those four women this weekend, and she was the last of the four who I was still seeing.

So, I'm back to square one. I'm thinking that if I am going to reach out to my ex, this is probably the best time. I'm not seeing anyone else, and I'm not in touch with any potential dates. I also think that waiting until more than six months post-breakup is too long.

How best to reach out to her (phone vs. e-mail vs. text)? Any general thoughts on what to say? I'm not inclined to say "I want you back" immediately.

On the flip side, any arguments as to why I shouldn't reach out to her?

Started at 2 am Saturday, when I woke up with stomach cramps. Had those off and on for about another 2-3 hours.

Between roughly 6 am and 8 am, there were a few times when I felt nauseous for 1-2 minutes, but I never threw up. That was the end of the GI-tract symptoms.

Starting at around 9 am or so, I had the following symptoms - chills, fever, body aches, and fatigue. I was in bed for most of the rest of the day. Fever went as high as 102.2, but mostly was below 101.5.

By Sunday, chills were gone, body aches were minimal, temperature was below 100. Was still fatigued, but was able to get up and take care of stuff around the house.

What could this have been? Is there a chance that it could be something that is NOT contagious (something food-related)?

Suppose that two people go on a first date. After the date, the woman texts the man to say thank you for the date. The man texts back, says your welcome, and have a good week. There is no more communication between the two of them after that.

Or, is ghosting when someone sends a text message, with the expectation of a reply (asks a question, etc.), but gets no response at all.

Or would you also count people with whom you've only had other sex acts, such as oral sex or tit sex?

I definitely know that it is harder for a woman to get pregnant if she is obese, or even significantly overweight.

But when a woman is trying to conceive in her late 30s or even early 40s, would being even "slightly overweight" (let's say no more than 10-15 pounds bigger than she ideally should be) pose a problem?

My girlfriend turns 39 very soon. If we get married sometime in the next year, we plan on trying to conceive very soon afterwards. At her last checkup, her doctor told her that she's just a little overweight, and that she should try to lose about 10 pounds. My girlfriend is perfectly fine with the way she looks, and aside from those few extra pounds, her health is excellent. Also, I think she looks absolutely beautiful the way she is.

But for the sake of getting pregnant, are those few extra pounds going to pose a problem, given her age?

Recently, I've been in touch with two women I've met on Match.com. I'll call them W1 and W2.

I like both women, but personally, I think that W2 is a better match for me than W1.

Here's the problem... things are moving much faster with W1 than W2. I have not met W2 in person yet, and probably will not be able to meet her for another week. I have gone on one date with W1, and we are going on a second date tomorrow night.

Any suggestions on how best to manage this situation? I don't want things to go too fast with W1, but if she and I are a pretty good match, I don't want to let her go until W2 and I have had the chance to go out a few times and see where things stand between W2 and I.

I broke up with my last girlfriend a month ago. We haven't had any communication at all since the night we broke up.

We weren't at either of our homes when the breakup occurred, so we both have some stuff left at the other one's house.

None of my stuff that was left at her house is of any value. I definitely don't need any of that stuff back.

She does have about $40-$45 worth of stuff left at my house, but most of that is a $30 bottle of wine that she bought for us that we never opened. The only other items are a mug and a wine glass.

I think that it would be awkward to contact her about returning her stuff after over a month. But would any of you make an argument that I should give her those items back?

FYI - I personally have no interest to see her, so I'm definitely not looking to get back together with her.

If the two parents are married at the time of a child's birth, do both parents sign off on the birth certificate, which has the child's name? Or does only the mother sign off on the certificate?

Reason I ask - Can a married mother choose the baby's legal name, without her husband's consent?

By the time Valentine's Day rolls around, my current girlfriend and I will have been dating for about 7 weeks, so it's still a fairly new relationship.

Any suggestions on nice gifts to give her, that would be appropriate for how long we have been dating?

Just as FYI - both of us are in our mid- to late- 30s. Both of us have professional careers and make decent money ("upper 5-figures"), but neither of us earn enough money to buy anything crazy expensive.

Imagine this crazy scenario...

College football game. A DB intercepts a QB's tipped pass, and runs the ball in for a TD.

After crossing into the end zone, the ref signals TD. The DB pauses for a few seconds, and then punts the football into the stands in celebration of the TD.

The Wikipedia article on "touchdown celebrations" seems to indicate that a player can be penalized for excessive celebration, while not always being penalized for "unsportsmanlike conduct." It seems like, either way, the penalty would be the same (15 yards penalty at kickoff).

Can anyone explain what the proper penalty would be in this situation?

I went on a "first date" with a woman i met through one of the more popular on-line dating sites (Match, eHarmony, etc.) earlier this week.

It wasn't the best first date that I've been on by any means, but I liked her enough that I would have liked to go on a second date to see whether some chemistry may develop. My feeling is that first dates can be awkward, and I'm inclined to go on at least 1-2 more dates if there is some potential for a relationship.

I waited two days to contact her (via the e-mail system of the dating site) to see if she wanted to go out again. More than 3 days have passed, and she never responded.

To be fair, it sometimes took her about 2 days to respond to my messages before we went out, but never this long.

Is it rude for her to not respond at all? This woman is 34 and is a physician, so we're not talking about someone who is very young or uneducated.

I just joined Match.com a few days ago, and I am a paid subscriber with a "basic" plan.

Last night, I sent messages to 7 women. This was the first time I sent messages to anyone on that website.

I looked at my "Sent" folder this morning. There is a column that says "Read Notification." Under that column, it shows "Not Yet Read" next to 4 of the 7 women. Next to the other three, there is a date. None of those three wrote back to me.

I'm confused about what non-subscribers on Match.com can and cannot do.

Are the three people who have dates under "Read Notification" definitely paid subscribers? Can they write back if they want to?

Also, what is the "Guarantee they will read" option about? From what I understand, that's an extra $10 per month.

By "talk," I mean an actual verbal telephone conversation, rather than just texting.

Just a little background... Male in his late 30s, female in her mid 30s. Both have "professional" careers, and sometimes have to work late. Often, one or the other has another commitment during the evening (networking event, class at a gym, etc.). They have gone out three times so far.

By way of background... I met her through one of the better known dating sites (Match, eHarmony, etc.). We talked on the phone 2 or 3 times before we went out. It wasn't a "blind date," but we didn't get to know each other too much before going out.

How is the best (and most tactful) way to let her know that I don't want to go out again? I figure that it is best to keep it short and sweet, and that it is not necessary to go into detail.

I assume that e-mail is okay, seeing that we went out only once.

On a side note, would anyone make the argument that, seeing that we went on only one date, it is not necessary to contact her at all? It's been four days since we went out, and neither one of us have contacted each other.

Over the course of one year, which of these two would you much rather suffer from...

Choice 1 - A "common cold" 3 times within the year. The cold would have a variety of symptoms (sore throat, sneezing, congestion, coughing, etc.). The cold would last for a full week, and the symptoms would be bad enough at some point during that week that you would need to miss 1 or 2 days of work.

OR

Choice 2 - A "bad" heartburn roughly once every 3 weeks. By "bad" heartburn, I mean when the pain is on and off for several hours. The symptoms would not go away until you take several doses of a regular antacid (Tums, Rolaids, etc.) or until you take a stronger OTC medicine like Zantac or Pepcid. We'll also say that the heartburn is at night, and you lose at least a few hours of sleep.

Suppose two people (both in their 30s) meet, and they start going out on some dates.

Let's say that after about 2 or 3 dates, both people like each other enough that they enjoy each other's company, but there still isn't a romantic "spark" between the two of them yet. But they still like each other enough that they want to go out at least a few more times to see if anything develops.

At what point (in other words, after how many dates) should the couple just give up if a romantic connection hasn't developed yet?