**That Cool Kid**

Don't jump the gun and say I'm suffering depression, if I was I would naturally consult someone right away.

However, what do you like to do to cheer yourself up, primarily when suffering the blues in relation to something with LBGTQ.

Is there a song you listen to? Some quotes you revise? A hobby you participate in? A friend you talk to? What do you do?

Yes, I am feeling a little down atm - no real reason, just generally being in the closet and waiting for the moment to arrive to emerge/ proof enough to convince me that I'm heading in the right direction and not convincing myself in a placebo-like chain-reaction of curiosity and experimentation.

Any advice on tackling the blues (or just a general word of support for everyone here) would be golden.

We love you trolls. If it weren't for you and your fellow homophobes in the world's governments, churches and society, we would all be happilly married and living very ordinary but generally more happy lives. I guess it's a good thing, coz you know, you're protecting the world from being overly exposed to gay love, such that everyone discovers how brilliant it is and we die out for not populating too much - or that we all die of aids, or that God gets angry for letting us marry, or that everyone starts singing songs about rainbows, lollypops, etc...

Thank you.

Let us all share our love toward these fantastic people for their work in creating a better, more peaceful world.

Let us instead of proving how wrong the trolls are and getting into a fight or wasting our time; express our deep affection for them and let them know that we welcome them into our community - after all, the world's biggest homophobes are - deep down - the biggest homosexuals.

<3

I'm just curious, and a little bored. I hate feeling so inquisitive, I don't mean to intrude :S I only want to have a bit of fun.

1. First, do you identify as any particular gender?

2. Where do you believe you lie in terms of homosexuality (if you were to place it on a scale, say 0 being totally straight and 10 being entirely gay.

3. Do you think of yourself as being feminine or butch?

4. Do you have any preference over feminine or butch people? (if bi, give answer for both genders).

5. Finally, in a relationship, do you prefer to take a dominating or submissive role?

This is the realm of abandoning such "black and white" labels of gay or not, so feel free to elaborate on where you lie in a spectrum for each answer :)

Myself:

1. Male

2. 7 (though I find myself becoming progressively more gay than straight - might be a "coming out" thing)

3. Feminine (not nearly to the extent of your typical "hollywood-goss gay"

4. Hard to say.

Guys: In terms of appearance I prefer butch-androgynous, but in terms of personality, I prefer feminine or androgynous - I just hate the male mindset.

Girls: In terms of appearance, definitely feminine. In terms of personality, probably androgynous - overly feminine is annoying and overly masculine blurs into the male mindset again.

5. I definitely prefertaking a submissive role.

In case you missed the sarcastic tone of ecstasy in my "question", I am yet another poor child confused about their sexuality. I'm not asking you to tell me what I like, I can decide that for myself. I'll take whatever positive or offensive answers you give me with a grain of salt, but this is a place where I can remain anonymous and vent my frustration with a false sense of hope that I will receive an answer other than what I assume I will receive.

Here's my situation (not exactly uncommon among those popping into the LGBT section):

I have a girlfriend whom I have been dating for the past 2 years (our anniversary was yesterday, oddly enough). As with any relationship, things started of pretty fiery for the first month, but then things died exponentially. I still love her with all my heart, but in an entirely emotional way; not sexually.

I've explained how I feel to her before, perhaps only a few months after we started dating. We came to the conclusion that I was asexual, as I was not particularly interested in sex with her, nor any other woman. I immediately dismissed the possibility that I was attracted to men.

Why did I assume that I was not gay? To tell the truth, I was homophobic until I was about 15. I was raised a Catholic, though loosely (Dad is atheist and mum may be agnostic), so I ended up coming up with my own custom-built religion, being agnostic and even atheist from time to time, but never considering that I may have been attracted to other guys. However, looking back now I can see that I was actually attracted to a number of guys, even when I was attending a heavily religious private school. Still, I remained homophobic and just dismissed these feelings as admiration.

At about the age of 15, a close friend of mine opened up to me that he was bisexual, this came unexpectedly to me and I forced myself to alter my perception of the LGBT community, learning very quickly to empathize with them and not judge them.

I could continue, but it's all the same - ignoring my "true feelings" (omg I sound like I'm overemphasizing by using that term, lol).

Of course, two years ago, I began dating this girl who had been a close friend of mine since we were 11. She had been through the break-up of an engagement and was generally looking very sad. I felt I needed to comfort her and over the course of a few months I felt the urge to ask her out.

I've explained what has happened since we started dating.

So far things sound moderately normal (at least in my mind, but I've been proven completely wrong before). However, now that I've been trying to comfort myself as I'm stressing during my final year of school, I've tried to understand who I really am and what I really want in life. I've realized that I am feeling an emotional connection to a good friend of mine (I have no idea of his sexuality, bu I assume he's just a friendly hetero; by friendly I don't mean "friendly", lol :P), as well as a sexual attraction to other guys, though I'm trying to dismiss that for the sake of my relationship with my girlfriend. Not only that, but I've realized (I know this sounds stupid, some of you might think "why would you have not realized that yet?") just how unattractive I find the opposite sex (I find myself wanting to shudder from time to time when I hear straight guys talking about women in grotesque ways). I have had intercourse with my girlfriend before, but I ignored my dissatisfaction of her body (not on a personal level, but a gener-level), but ultimately I find it unsatisfying (and very hard to reach orgasm). I'm certain that I'm exaggerating; I don't believe that 100% homosexual or 100% heterosexual people are very common, and I am somewhat attracted to the opposite sex and my girlfriend, but mostly I just like their face for being "pretty". Even breasts are more attractive to me on an aesthetic level (if that makes sense), rather than a sexual one. I absolutely hate using the words "hot" or "sexy" when talking about a woman, perhaps that is because I honestly do not feel that way towards them. I can not honestly say the same about men, because I guess I'm still somewhat in the denial stage (though perhaps only one step from the door to freedom, whatever that may be).

I've elaborated enough. Tell me to dump her, tell me to seek counseling, consider bisexuality, whatever - I just felt the need to vent.

Thank you for putting up with so many of these topics LGBT!

:)

I feel I need to elaborate on a little of my life story in order to get my point across - I'm feeling a rather confused at the moment (Typical of most of the topics posted here, I know. Please bear with me).

I am straight and have been born a male, but for most of my life I have "dreamed" of being female (but not nearly to the same degree as your classic transsexual - Hopefully you understand there is a grey area in gender identity). Even before I started school, I would enjoy playing with the dress-up clothes from the girls section of my preschool. I would often fantasize about being somehow changed into a female even at such a young age, so it is clearly non-sexual.

I have always been quiet and withdrawn, having few friends and remaining mostly solitary in my younger life. As I made friends, I struggled to relate to other males and instead made strong friendships with girls at school. I was often teased for being gay, due to my less than masculine behavior.

For most of my life, I have blamed this on my intelligence - thinking I was just a typical antisocial geek.

I have had some fairly dramatic points in this more feminine side of my life. I remember on a number of occasions bawling my eyes out to God to somehow allow me to open my eyes and have me wake up in another body. On other times, I have even gone to such lengths as attempting to cause harm to my genetalia, such as tugging or even thinking about the implications of using a knife.

However, I knew my behaviour was entirley wrong, and tried to hide it as best as I could - I am the eldest child and grandchild in my family, so I have felt a great deal of responsibility as the first-born male.

Then things started to become mixed up. In my younger years of high-school, I tried to fit in to the male crowd at a new school (Though, being a particularly conservative private school, I think I can understand why I found it easier). However, I did feel rather masculine during this time - perhaps the most I have in my entire life. Perhaps this was my male hormones? I was indeed 13 at the time.

Then in my second year of high-school (Oh God, I am elaborating...) I changed schools, to be reunited with my female friends I had made in Primary School (I believe you would call it Elementary School in the USA). I was very excited to be with them again, but over time, they began to split into their own peer-groups, though we would remain close. I began to have feelings for one of the girls and eventually found my way into a male peer-group.

Again, I felt rather masculine and happy to be hiding that "gay" side of myself. I became homophobic (regrettably) and settled down into a more masculine mindset, much like I have today.

However, these feminine fantasies continued to occur. I denied such a side of me existed and marginalized. However, I would occasionally cross-dress in private to relieve myself of anxiety, with an occasional degree of eroticism (though not nearly enough for me to consider it a fetish).

This has occurred the last few years up until recently. Though the group of friends I hang around aren't qcompletelynliest of men (Some would call us the "video game nerds"), even when it comes to games (at this point only the geekiest of you may be able to follow), I have a less : I love vibrant, imaginative games such as Super Mario and The Legend of Zelda, and find grungy blood-and-guts games such as Halo and Gears of War to be entirely unappealing.

Another possibly significant point in my life is the time at which one of my closest male friends tells me he is bisexual. I greatly admire this guy and never thought twice about his sexuality, nor anyone elses for that matter. Because of this, I completley changed my outlook on the gay community and became more understanding - even begining to question my own sexuality (Though I have been led to believe that this is fairly normal amoung adolescents). I became slightly confused as to why I was fantisising about becoming female, being submissive, and even occasionally fantisising about relations with other men, although unnatracted to the male physique. I ultimatley concluded that I am heterosexual and blamed these feelings on puberty.

Further touching on the aspect of sexuality, one of my long-time female friends openly admitted herself to be bisexual some time later.

A little over 18 months ago, I began dating this girl and genuinely feel that I am in love with her, and I am rather certain the feeling is entirely mutual. I have always had a very low sex-drive, and instead offer romantic gestures such as cuddling and close contact, but with little sexual desire (Though she has complained on numerous occasions that she is unhappy with my sex-drive). I feel entirely unnatracted to other men, although that submissive fantasy still manages to pop into my mind every so often, but I fight it away out of devotion to my partner.

Now we're approaching the curr