Nova

My family is a twin factory the females are highly likely to have twins on my moms side of the fam. I have a beautiful 3 year old and recently found out I am pregnant and am now 8 wks 5 days. I feel so sick and extremely tired. I am goig in for an ultrasound the 13. I wasn't this sick with my daughter and I no every pregnancy is diff. but smells are abundant and vomit likely, I can hardly eat I am not hungry as well.I am on calcuim Iron and prenatels by direction of my obg. I am drinking lots af water and some ginger ale and crackers of sorts. I would like a baby but how hard is it with two at a time, Diapers have to be a $$$. I wasnt expecting to get pregnant I was on the pill and my hubby is 54 i am 22. How did you handle more than one beautiful bundle at one time?

I found out I am pregnant, 8wks 6days. I have been sick so much, I had a cold then the flew. I am not hungry but eat a bite at a time utherwise I throw up. I have major headaches. I have a three year old daughter and it was an easy pregnancy besides her trying to come out earlie.Even though I have lost 6lb. in 2 wks I still feel like my stomach is pooching out there. I have talked to my obg and we are doing an ultrasound the 13. I am sooo tired I could sleep all day and night. Everything reeks, even the air outside- has the world turned in to an armpitt.. I am wiried I am carying twins it runs in the family and I am next-we will find out at the ultrasound. How could I be showing already and why am I so whiped?

Sullen girl

Sullen girl, sullen girl,

hide yourself from this world.

Your cry's will be hushed and wiped away like dust.

You are you and I am I, wishing that the pain would die.

She takes in so much violence,

forced to remain in silence.

Mommy's there, but does she care?

No, she is very much naive.

She has announced she will never believe.

Then were may I ask does she turn?

To the blade they say, let her soul burn.

Sullen girl, sullen girl,

hide yourself from this world.

Don't let anyone know, the black blood cloth flow.

You are you and I am I,

I believe the pain must die.

All the lies and outcry's concealed,

the wounds produced can no longer be healed.

She sits in a dark room,

Images flashing threw her mind.

These images she must bind.

To truth she is a slave, and for that will take it to the grave.

Yes she is a sullen girl,

Living in a hate filled world.

You are you and I am I.

A sharpened blade couldn't make you cry.

Black blood spilled shall hide the lie.

So dark and cute,

a sad fall that made us meet.

So full of life,

So tender a sound.

I fed you and watered you,

Hope to make you grow.

The expansion of caring,

The family you had lost.

Fallen like a leaf,

hidden in disbelief.

Poor sweet baby Dove

Wilted in a window of sun..

Now you are none.

The wind so still

love so stong

trees so calm

yearning heavy

dust settles

heavy breathing

frost standing night

deep stroke of a caress

air a hugh of rain

preasured kisses

The waves break

only a little pain.

Every second I look at a glass of wine,

I think about you every time.

Your drunken, staggering, bouts.

My love having many years of doubts.

Even though I left I somehow always come back.

But your sitting there with another 12 pack.

You promise every time that you will change,

but you still hit me if I am in range.

You say your sorry and that you will quit,

I shouldn't have believed you again one bit.

I cant help house all your drunken friends,

Are relationship has a scar that will never mend.

You were the only one for me when I met you.

You have changed so much, from when you use to say that too.

I am leaving now never to come back,

you wont ever see me again after I pack.

I am saying my good buys now,

Because I cant face you somehow..

The love that is bound up inside,

will be spread out forever in time.

It will not be released in one desperat cry.

I will release it west across the plains,

I will send it threw the drought with the rain.

It will be died down by a summers storm,

but by the time my love reaches him it will be torn.

But he will pick it up with a gentle hand,

then we will finally be together in the same land.

He will always bring my love back from the dirt,

but I will again be always hurt.

I lived a life of loneliness and fear,

then I found one I thought was near.

I could talk and he understand,

He was inevitably there for me.

But I could not see,

I told him of my desperate struggles for life.

For once I thought someone might really care,

I wish I could fully poor my feelings out to him.

But I didn't want a raging flood,

I didn't want to weigh him down.

My deep feelings of depression,

I new could be hard for anyone to bear.

He said he was there if I needed to talk,

but I began to have second thoughts.

What if he changed his view of me?

Am I crazy do I need to live behind bars?

I didn't want him to change,

to think anything less or anything more.

About me and my desperate struggle for life.

I am just myself I cannot change,

I do try with the small things.

But something always stands in the way.

Oh how in my desperation,

I just wish I could let all my desperation's spill out.

But I no It could never be this way..

My brothers a monster

Moms in the car,

dads left in the truck.

I hide behind an old garbage can.

he glares and drules,

which i thought was normal,

Not this time.

he lunges, i scream.

moms in the front seat,

praying we all live.

Dad drives by couple times,

almost teasing to not be in fear.

my brother still comes at me.

I run, but not fast enough.

hegrabss my arm, the struggle.

my arm is dripping in his hands.

he devours it and comes again,

blood thirsty,he wont come to his sensess.

I try to compromise.

helicopters fly overhead,

threatening to kill my attacker and brother,

they shoot,, he falls.

I do cpr he gasps,

then he grabs me.

hes himself again.

You were my eyes when I couldn't see,

you were my wings when I wanted to be free.

You were my friend when I was all by myself,

you didn't read my cover, then put me back on the shelf.

Where would I be if I didn't have you,

And how could I breath without loving you.

I made you promises that I promise I will always keep,

Maybe are love is Only a dream in this endless sleep.

I'll hope in that one day you'll be mine,

and il keep on look in, for the answers Iv got to find.

and ill say.

Where would I be if I didn't have you,

and how could I breath without loving you.

loving you,

loving you.

The love I'd had, the life i'd lost.

The pains of death and the fear of another life lost,

I never felt the pain I never cried a tear.

I held his hand and he just seemed to disappear,

Death never scares me.

It's just the family crying that I am afraid of,

He use to tell me no one cared.

He said he was all I would ever have,

I tried to stay out of his way.

That's all he ever wanted,

I lived a life of abuse and neglect.

If it all wasn't just right,

he told me in an abusive fight.

I would struggle but it didn't help,

he would just beat me worse.

I couldn't stand the blood, bruises, nor his painful curse,

but it is all over now and he is gone.

Now I have to sit and family's to his family's sobs,

when they never new how he really was.

I was also told it was my fault,

and it was just because.

Snowflake the edges as sharp as a knife,

The shape of a shredder.

The beauty as clear crystal.

The intelligence of a designer is magnifical,

The power of his beauteous thoughts are complex.

The inter-woven threads of tiny crystals bound together by hate and perfect harmony.

Distinctive distinguished raticle shapes respecting patterns of atoms forming new lives.

New worlds of hypothesis in flattening desertification elements of death bowed to life.

The prosperity of inhuman acts.

The hindrance of screams,

one breath refined the accident.

One trucks endless passage of crossfire.

One soul was lost in the crusade ring.

Insubordination to the realization of the violations.

Violations were succeeded by the belts,

pains were met by the impact of glass sheets.

Some secret word is flared out of tender lips of a passenger.

The totalizing of the carpet is gone in a flint.

Brake's scream, glass scatter mettle melts.

God will only define the pleasures of life..

It's like a bubble,

Heavy on my head.

No color just blurry figures,

they bounce towards me.

I try to run , but I can not move.

They go threw me like I am invisible.

Just bouncing and rolling into the distance.

I cant leave it's like an ongoing annoyance.

It just wont stop,wont stop.

In to the depths

My mind is like a cluttered bar.

The many glasses of beer rid me of all the small pains.

The cheap shots of vodka and whiskey are there to drown out the more compicated problems of life.

The old western love song playing on the juke box sings a song of sadness and sorrow.

The five angry men fighting in the corner represents my confusion and rage.

The smoke filled room hides the faces of all the pain filled memories.

The slut sitting at the bar brings back thoughts of drunken desperation.

The maried bussines man sitting beside her has fillings of emptyness he hopes she can fulfill.

He keeps my secrets and hides them well.

The bum sitting at the oposite side of the bar is knowledgeable of the world and its many lies.

He trusts no one and is hardened to life, trying to drink himself to truth..

I have love love poems to. just bored I guess so I write

my daughter 2 at the time told me rara- meaning grandma, touched her pp and stuck a plastick screwdriver in her butt. I took her to the docter asap and they called the police- sent me to cares app. who took pictures and videod her without me there. cares app. said there was a possibility of this hapening. i took her to a play therapist who said a 2 year old couldnt just come up with this he's positive it happened. no one in the family believes my daughter, my dad said he'd make sure im the black sheep of the family. I told my mom she couldnt be around my daughter anymore, she still confronts me in stores and such. my daughter is 3 now and the therapist said will hopefully forget. the detective gave my mom a lie detector test and she passed, i couldnt believe it!! my dad although was in the navy and said in the past the auful things they did to them but they were tought to pass a lie detector test. the police arent going to do anything since she passed unless another victem comes foreword. I can hardly believe she did this i have two brothers as well she never molested us, I thought I could trust her. I never thought this would happen to my daughter. My mother had sex with her own brothers as a child, or so she claims. I was molested by a family friend and raped. I didnt leave my daughter with babysitters exept my parents. how can she actualy pass this thing, how can they let her get away with this, my daughter had so many details she was shaking scared at 2 when she told me.. how is this possible..ahhhhh

production. I am feeding her rice and drained hamburger. she has been to the vet due to fever and infection. She doesnt want to stay with her pupps but she keeps carying them to me, I have been feeding them liquid puppy formula. how do i help her to produce more milk and take more of an interest in her pupps