Just a soldier

Fragmented skies

offer momentary glimpses

of twilights beauty.

A soft streak

of brilliant white

the red pulsating

of ariel traffic.

A chilled wind

whispers on skin

of coming changes.

To Whom it my concern;

I apologize for my leave of absence. I've been... caged by wooden pillars, enshrouded in a cave of green that has changed over time to so many colors of death and decay. The man of the mountain my jailer though I was the only man on that mountain.

I suppose I was on some foolish errand. Chasing a dream, and for a short time... not hiding from nightmares. Dreams however, are like hope... They are for the weak who can not, or will not face the truth. I was weak and yes, I was scared. I see and feel the truth now. Deep within my bones, with every movement... On charts and in this building where people come for no reason but to die.

I can not be a burden any longer, not upon such kind strangers, some who would grow close if I allowed. To what end besides... my own.

Winter is whispered upon the wind... I had hoped to wait until spring, but I have one more dream to chase. One question I must have an answer to. In those brown eyes, I saw something, I have to see if it was real. I said once... it'll be a bear.

This is my final chapter, my final page. So... to whom it may concern... thank you for your kindness, your compassion and your... your gift of hope to a weak man.

Before the sun comes up

I'll be touching down,

in the land of sun and fun.

A journeys end,

where life began.

In the back woods,

of what was once

a small farm town.

Crushing out another cigarette,

I'm reminded...

nothing last forever.

and just like that rolled tobacco,

dreams burned away,

before I was ready to go.

but that's the way off goodbye.

People all around me,

lovin, laughin, and carryin on.

Going to see friends and family

while I'm just goin cause I'm gone.

They gave me 10 weeks,

to make my peace,

But how do you find,

What you never had?

So I made up my mind,

and I gave back 9,

cause I aint dying in bed.

Soldiers are made for war,

and it all I was ever good for.

but this time...

there can be no victory...

win or lose it'll be the end of me...

I'm just a soldier...

and soldiers fight,

But I wanted to say good bye...

before my flight.

To those I've come to know... this is good bye. The bone cancer wins. I got one fight left, and those who know me best and remember a few of my poems about a pair of big brown eyes, know what I'm about. Thank you for everything

You speak to her like that again

and I'll choke you with your own IV.

The words spoken in anger,

from a man at deaths door...

To a man on deaths bed.

All over a stupid light...

That didn't get answered fast enough.

The bed ridden felt the world owed him,

God save the soul who did not cater.

The rest of the day,

Neither man spoke to the other...

Though nurses whispered about the confrontation.

"About time someone stood up to him...

Wish I could have seen it...

You should have seen how mad Mr. _________ got,

when mr. Tanner spoke to Jessica like that.

Hours later,

To the cadence of

Beep...

Beep...

Beep...

A strange gasp

rasp

of a breath...

Mr. Tanner passed...

Guilts a horrible friend.

Death lay upon a slab of concrete.

Brown with decay,

speckled with yellow, orange, red...

Fading life.

Saw horses held the skeletal remains of a dream.

The wooden bones of a hope

turned failure.

A single enclosure standing strong

against the coming winter.

140 square feet of pride,

the only sign of existence left.

A bricked chimney

Lifeless...

And a hammer

Tacked gently,

lovingly,

upon the wall...

Under a plaque the read

Peace.

Auburn hair,

Big green eyes.

She wore a yellow short sleeve shirt,

And it was cold out side.

"Evenin Jessica, what are you doin here?"

She smiled that smile,

Like when I complimented her perfume.

"I saw you were running low...

Thought I'd save you the walk"

I offered a smile of my own,

Flicking ashes into the tray.

"That's mighty nice of you,

How much do I owe?"

She smiled again and shook her head,

Wrapping her arms across herself,

As the wind picked up.

I was quick to unzip my light jacket,

Setting it over her shoulders.

Her hand lifted to touch my own.

Taking the last drag,

The smoke was crushed

"I thought you had today off"

The doors opened as we stepped on the sensor.

"I do"

We walked down the hall way

Dodging nurses,

CNA's

And doctors.

"What brought you in tonight then?"

She smiled that smile again,

but offered no answer.

There's no accounting for women...

"Good morning Sir!"

To much perk was met wth a lift of a coffee cup.

"Morning Audrey"

Beep...

The weather channel showed rain.

Vitals were checked with the speed and aptitude of experince.

"Jessica tells me your not taking your medication...

It's there to help you...

Why don't you use is?"

Beep...

"Doesn't hurt to bad,"

"Don't lie to me Mr. __________"

His responce was only a sip of coffee.

Thankfuly she pushed no further.

"When's your wife coming to visit?"

Beep...

"Soon as I find one I reckon"

"Oh... no girl friend either?"

"No ma'am"

20 questions began,

About family,

Lack of relationship...

And before long she knew

Whatever she asked about.

She settled at the foot of his bed

While he positioned himself to get up.

"I reckon it's time for another cup...

Probably a smoke to"

"Mr. _________ is there..."

"No ma'am, I'll be auight"

Beep...

"You sure are a stubborn one"

Beep...

The Alabama game was almost over,

And for a moment his thumb hovered,

Just above the button that would bring a respite...

And a short period of delirium.

Blue eyes closed as he breathed in,

And for a moment he was else where.

Brown speckled, multicolored leaves cascaded to earth.

A crisp bite upon the evening air.

Hammer hanging from a nail,

In the only enclosed room on a concrete slab.

A small fire cracked in the brick made fire place.

Coffee brewed,

Set on a stone at its edge.

And a cigarette burning between fingers

"Excuse me...

I need to take your vitals again"

Another deep breath,

But the smell was replaced by something more feminine.

Something sweeter.

"Is that sunflower Jessica?"

Beep...

"Yes, do you like it?"

Tips of fingers trailed over a scar as she moved the sleeve.

Tracing a diffrent path as they lowered.

"Yes ma'am, it's one of my favorites"

She smiled again,

A single finger twirling auburn hair.

"How are we doing tonight sir?"

His gaze lifted to see a white lab coat

Stethescope and his chart.

Beep...

Beep...

"How come your not taking you meds?"

Beep...

White walls and a pale blue curtain.

College football on a small tv built some time in the mid 90's.

Beep...

No sense getting use to them.

"It doesn't hurt that bad"

Beep..

Liar.

"Is there anything I can get for you?"

Pastel designs fit well with the rounded collar.

Apparently she got a deal on the internet

"No ma'am, but I'll be going out for a smoke shortly"

"Alright, my name is Jessica, if you need anything let me know."

He gave a nod in responce before she turned to leave.

Beep...

"Jessica, that yellow looks nice...

Kinda brings out the green in your eyes"

Beep...

She stopped,

one hand on the door as she look back

" You really think so? "

" Yes ma'am "

She smiled again

Opening her mouth as if to speak.

And stopped as the man on the other side of the curtain

Complained about wanting more pain meds.

Beep...

Beep...

Beep.........

To Whom it my concern;

I apologize for my leave of absence. I've been... caged by wooden pillars, enshrouded in a cave of green that has changed over time to so many colors of death and decay. The man of the mountain my jailer though I was the only man on that mountain.

I suppose I was on some foolish errand. Chasing a dream, and for a short time... not hiding from nightmares. Dreams however, are like hope... They are for the weak who can not, or will not face the truth. I was weak and yes, I was scared. I see and feel the truth now. Deep within my bones, with every movement... On charts and in this building where people come for no reason but to die.

I can not be a burden any longer, not upon such kind strangers, some who would grow close if I allowed. To what end besides... my own.

Winter is whispered upon the wind... I had hoped to wait until spring, but I have one more dream to chase. One question I must have an answer to. In those brown eyes, I saw something, I have to see if it was real. I said once... it'll be a bear.

This is my final chapter, my final page. So... to whom it may concern... thank you for your kindness, your compassion and your... your gift of hope to a weak man.

Sincerely

Jack Hammer

Hola Martillo

Hello Jack.

It is time then?

Yeah... its time.

Hmmm... Martillo, why do people lie?

What do you mean?

When we were young... they say, you can do it.

Dreams come true if you work hard.

There is a way if you try...

To give hope Jack.

Hope... Martillo, hope is for the weak who can not face the truth.

Hmm

So it is time then?

Yeah Jack... its time...

Martillo... maybe hammer swing one more time, for old time sake.

Yeah Jack, Hammer will swing one more time...

The hammer draws back

TAT!!!

The End

Hammer swings.

Whack whack!

Another board put to place,

frames and things.

Who needs a nail...

gun?

Using hands makes it real,

makes it more...

personal.

Hammer swings

WHACK!

Adios

Y

Descance en paz.

El martillo

Wild Cats!

Go two

go two!

Man on man

wait for the snap

and bust through.

Titans clash

Line backers blow past

knock the running back

on his...

it's a

Quarter back sack!

Wait no

Fumble!!!

Blue Ball

tch!

The match flares

blue eyes,

stairs

with the smoke.

A momentary glow

illuminates mouth

and nose.

Blackened

by the cup of a hand.

Guess it's time

to get up.

The whistle blew,

shoot for two,

suck in

lift up

now Slam!

Rotate

and pass guard

bull dog

use the forearm

to cross face

and gain space.

Arm behind the neck

crank it

make 'em breathe sweat

Pinned!

Point blue.

A lost soul,

Lay shattered,

Its pieces,

Cold,

Upon the ground.

Driving on,

The soldier gathers,

Though some peaces,

Never to be found.

From its fragments,

The soldier builds,

Trapped,

In a demonic maze

With hands shaking,

Heart tattered,

His mind clouded,

By darkened haze.

He is wounded,

Weak,

And hungry

Not wishing,

To stay,

Lost inside this land

then along there came a stranger.

A small shard,

Of his soul,

Within their hand.

Kneeling there,

Aside the soldier

They show to him a light.

With compassion,

The stranger lends him strength.

With empathy,

Help him fight.

Though the battle will not soon be over

The stranger and soldier take the stand.

Then along there comes another

and takes the soldiers hand.

They watched him come and go,

as he slowly marched past their rows.

and offered a greeting

to the ones he was closest too.

He knew their names

but they'd never ask his

though he came here time and again

just to sit and talk

to a man he once knew.

But those souls never judged

even at those times he came undone

as they bore silent witness

to what grown men don't do,

it would always start

and end the same

with the flicker of a flame

and the soft glow

of cigarette.

staring like he was lost

whispering softly Go with God.

he'd quickly turn

and walk away

but this time it didn't feel like

a temporary thing

--------------

I was thinking something along the lines of graveyard as the title, I don't know

He stood in the doorway,

of an empty home

filled with the comforts

of a house

running down

the mental list

of the tools and gear he had to take

and the things

he'd miss the most

Softly smiling

he turned the lock

and left the

key in the knob.

This place was what

dreams are for.

but he didn't have dreams

anymore.

he gave a nod

got in his jeep

backed out of the drive

but as he started to leave,

he stopped

and waved goodbye

to the things

dreams

are made of