Squirrel

Who is the support act for the Stereophonics when they play at the Odyssey in Belfast on 27th November 2007.

I know The Enemy are supporting them on some of their mainland tours but not sure bout Belfast.

Thanks

:) xx

He says he can get me eight legs of venison for £80. Is that too dear?

(two deer.........)

Please star if this raises a chuckle :) xx

Fall Out Boy's track 'This ain't a scene, its an arms race'?

My little boy keeps singing I'm an evil man and I'm also into cats!!!! Am quite sure this is not the correct words and would be grateful to anyone who can help.

Thanks :) xx

are discussing their sexual performance. The French Man says 'I am such a great lover, I kiss my wife from her head to her toes and she jumps six feet of the bed'. The Italian Man says 'That is nothing my friend, I am such a great lover, I kiss my wife from her head to her toes and she jumps twelve feet of the bed', the Irish Man shakes his head and says 'Boys, thats nothing, I get into bed, make love to the missus, jump up and clean my c**k on the curtains, and she hits the roof!'

P.s I'm Irish so no offence meant to fellow irish folk :) xx

Guy comes home from work, and feeling quite horny decides to seduce his wife. He sidles up to her and gently kisses her neck, but fails to get a response. He starts to nibble on her ear - again failing in his bid to get a positive response.

In a desperate bid to win the affections of his wife, he whispers in her darling 'Darling, I've got a surprise for you. I've bought some olympic condoms - and tonight - just for you - I'm going for the gold'.

His wife throws him a look of disgust and answers 'Why don't you go for the silver and come second for a change!!!!!'

Little guy picks himself up and big thug whacks him across the back and says thats a karate chop from Japan. Little guy gets up, goes out the door, comes back in and beats hell out of big thug. Little guy turns to barman and says when that b*****d comes round tell him thats a f***ing crowbar from B&Q!

Using Famvir and Flucloxacillin cos Zovirax (Aciclovir) doesn't help. Going out on Fri nite (really really really special occasion) but look like the elephant man :( Any ideas on how to get swelling down asap? All help gratefully received as I'm desperate. Thanks in anticipation