Natasha Vanessa

just regular episodes from rugrats. l want "angelica the divine, tommy's first birthday, beauty contest, officer chuckie, baseball, real or robots, special delivery" etc

l don't want the movies like "all grown up, the rugrats movie" etc. Those r movies. l just want a dvd that show a bunch of episodes that were on tv.

thanx!

l was playing around. l saw sumthing cool online & l clicked "add to cart". So l tried it, l filled out the info. Then it asked me for credit card info. l laughed. l closed my eyes & typed a random credit card #/security code #/expiration date,etc. l don't have a real credit card. BUT IT WORKED!!! My package is coming tuesday! lt sent me a receipt & everything. The item l 'ordered' is kinda big.

l was just playin around & experimenting. lt was my 1st time. l didn't think it'll work. l feel really guilty now. The item has a "no refund" policy. So l can't return it & go. +, it's from a totally different place.

Luckily in my email profile l didn't type anything true about me. My email has the wrong country, address, code, b-date, age, 1st/middle/last name, etc. The name l have on yahoo is wrong too. l never type the correct info about me, that wud b stupid. So that was smart that l made up random wrong info about me. Even the description of me is wrong. l do that in case sum 1 gets mad & find me.

l live alone. So hopefully no 1 can track me down. l feel sooo bad. l will NEVER do it again. No more playing around. Even tho the item was really cool, l regret it. Next time "l'm looking, not touching" [l mean, not ordering]. l just wanted 2 c wat wud happen. l didn't google credit card info either. + l closed my eyes wen l typed the info.

l won't do it again. l can't believe how easy it is 2 order sumthing!! l'm usually very careful of the internet but being silly is now serious. lt's my 1st & last time doing it!

Oh, my dog!! <=0

A week ago l had a really bad dream. Wen l woke up my hand was squeezing my neck very hard. & now my neck hurts. l'v done stuff like that wen l was younger. l don't trust myself in my own sleep. l'm afraid 2 go 2 bed. My dreams r 1 of the biggest fears l have. l don't know wat l'm doing wen l'm sleeping. All l know is my hands r around my neck wen l wake up so l must have done sumthing while l was sleeping. l'm trying 2 do everything 2 stop my bad dreams but it never works. But l keep trying. l tried 2 sleep w/ my parents so they can stop me in case l do sumthing bad in my sleep but l end up hurting them. Like kicking & hitting them. So that didn't work. l'm seeing a therapist 2 help me w/ my dreams.

Wen l was really young l had a dream that a dentist accidentally dropped a long metal pick in my throat & l choked 2 death. Ever since it's been 1 of the reasons why l hate going there. But l'm going 2 the dentist pretty soon & l'm nervous.

l have a lot of weird fears like, falling, height, getting beat up, throwing up, scary movies, under water mammals, trains, air plains, sky scrapers, bugs, huge animals, being chased & other weird crap like that. But l'm more afraid of my dreams than any of those. l'd rather throw up or b chased than have a bad dream or even any dream. l hate my dreams.

l hate sleeping, l'm afraid. l don't feel safe wen l have extremely bad dreams. My dreams r so graphic, bloody & weird. l'm not evil so why do l have these dreams?! How do l control wat l do in my sleep & how 2 stop bad dreams? l'm trying everything 2 help. l'm scared of dreaming.

tell good &/or bad experiences

ln 10th grade l dreamed that l was getting hung by my best friends & worst enemies. & they wrapped wires around me.

While l was sleeping, l took the string of the window blinds & tried 2 hang myself. l twisted the string, wrapped it around my neck so my neck can't get out & pulled it hard. Wen l pulled it the blinds went up. l also took the wire from my stuffed animal & tightly wrapped it around my right ankle. l woke up. lt happened quickly but it hurt. Wen l woke up, every single liquid in my body came out. My nose was bleeding, l wet the bed [eeww!!] & every other type of liquid [if U know wat l mean] came out. lt was sick. l was breathing very hard, kicking & sweating a lot. l broke the blinds & tore it down. lt scared me. l thought "god, l can't even trust myself in my own sleep!"

2 weeks later l went to the hospital for sumthing else. l did the same thing only l used a bed sheet. The nurses came in & woke up. This time my nose was bleeding a lot more. Wen they woke me up l fought every 1. l was still half asleep. l kicked them, punched them & tried 2 grab them. My neck makes a snapping sound cuz l hung & tried 2 strangle myself. My doctor said l wud have died 1/2-3 seconds later if l didn't wake up. She said l was very, very lucky. Wen ever l'm stressed my neck makes a snapping sound more. lt sounds like breaking a small stick only w/ a lower sound. lt hurts

but as l got older it got a little better. lt also dislocates a little but it gets back to normal in a second. But it's so weird!

l'm 20 now, it's been about 5 yrs now since l did that. l'm just afraid l'll do it again. l'v always had unusually bad violent dreams. Ever since l was a toddler. My doctor said it's unusual to have that bad of dreams that young. They don't know why. l was diagnose w/ Post Traumatic Stress Disorder specifically cuz of my dreams. l have that disorder from separate reasons too. l tried/try everything to stop bad dreams. l do everything my therapist tells me to do. They say they don't know wat to do anymore. l'v been to a lot of therapists, they all say the same. l'm always trying to find out wat bad habits l'm doing to trigger the dreams. l found some bad habits & changed them but my dreams never changed. No matter wat l do it never changes. But l'm still trying to find ways to stop my bad dreams.

l never remember my good dreams, the only reason why l know l had a good dream is cuz l wake up peaceful & happy. l'm very calm the rest of the day. l have a soft voice & everything. But that only happens every few months. The good dreams r very short tho. l timed myself once. l always know wat time l go to bed & wen l wake up. So wen l wake up early l count how many hrs l slept. l usually sleep only 2 hrs wen l have a good dream. The only other time l wake up is wen l'm sick but l usually wake up a few hrs later if l'm sick. So l know wen l had a good dream.

l don't know why l hung/strangled myself in my own sleep. l don't trust myself around strings, sharp things, window blinds & anything else that l cud hurt myself in my sleep.

l hate going to bed cuz l know l'll have a bad dream. lt's the worst time of the day. l feel like l need to prepare myself just to go to bed. l say "k, relax. Listen to music, turn on the lights, no scary movies/shows & think funny & happy thought." god, l feel like l'm getting ready for surgery, l'm so nervous! l watch cartoons to keep [or recreate] sum innocence cuz l know each nite l'm losing a little in my sleep.

Why do l do stuff in my sleep?

I HATE SLEEPING!!!!!!!!!

On friday l got really sick. l was @ a school. Here's wat happened>

- fainted [never fainted b 4]

- tired

- whitish,grayish,paleish, yellowish,clearish colored skin

- bad head ache

- very dizzy

- sweating more than l ever had

- violent shaking 20min. after sweating

- really hi fever

- fast,deep,irregular breathing

- weak

- cudn't move

- numb body

- stiff

- sleepy

- stomach ache

- cramps

- vomiting [once]

- coughing

- very tight jaw

- diariah [yuk]

- cud only whisper a little

- fuzzy vision

- cudn't see past 20-30 feet

l saw everything/every 1 clearly only once. Then after that, every 1 looked like black fuzzy shaking shadows. The nurse held my held still & loudly slowly told me to look in her eyes. & to keep looking in her eyes. l looked in her eyes once then l cudn't anymore after. But l tried to. Then l feel asleep. She said "We keep losing her." 1 teacher saw me & tried to help. Then she saw 2 girls to get the nurse. She told them to hurry. Wen the nurse came she said "So what's goin on? Oh my god! What's wrong?! What's happenin?!" The nurse told me to look in her eyes. She checked my pulse. She said "K. She's breathing but hmmm." l wud tried to sleep but they wud keep waking me up. The nurse called another staff to bring a wheel chair. Wen he came he said "whoa!!!" l quickly got into the chair. She said "Good. That's good she got in right away." But l felt the same l just wanted to go home. My mom was called to pick me up. She dozn't live very close so it took a while. The nurse said "lf she doesn't get here pretty soon, we're calling the ambulance." Finally she came, l weakly pointed out her car so they'll know where to go. l got in the car. l naturally get car sick [always have] so that didn't help. Wen l got home l started to violently shake & breathing really hard. l went to the bath room. Then got out & l layed on the couch l was still shaking & breathing hard. My mom gave me 3 blankets & cooked soup. l ate the soup. She called the doctors but the doctor didn't answer. She called again but they still wudn't answer. She was going to call the ambulance but l felt better. Then she called the doctor again, this time they answered. My medical insurance was dropped so they said they cudn't help. Life is a hustle, people shud always be able to get medical insurance so l can get help. People shudn't have to pay or work a lot to get help! Just sayin. Sorry, anyway later l felt better. No 1 know why/how l got so sick. l have never fainted or turned that color before in my life. l only had a head ache 3 times in my life. [food poisoning, asthma attack & wat just happened on friday.]

ls my body shutting down? Thanks for being patient enough to read this long 'book'. [Sheewff!!]

l'm not talking about the little round pellets that looks like a ball. l'm talking about the pellets that r pointed & lokk like real bullets. l know if u use the small round pellets, it's not deadly. But wat about pointed head pellets?

Wat if l burn lots of charcoal in a really small place [bathroom/closet] w/ a grill or sumthing? How long wud it take 2 die from that?

Wat if l burn lots of charcoal in a really small place [bathroom/closet] w/ a grill or sumthing? How long wud it take 2 die from that?

Wat if l burn lots of charcoal in a really small place [bathroom/closet] w/ a grill or sumthing? How long wud it take 2 die from that?

2 die if l start car, attach a hose from car tail pipe 2 a large suitcase & put suitcase in car. l'll shut doors/windows [open 1 window a little 4 hose], close rest of windows, go inside suitcase & zip it shut [w/ end of hose in suitcase]. How long wud it take 2 die from that?

2 die if l start car, attach a hose from car tail pipe 2 a large suitcase & put suitcase in car. l'll shut doors/windows [open 1 window a little 4 hose], close rest of windows, go inside suitcase & zip it shut [w/ end of hose in suitcase]. How long wud it take 2 die from that?

2 die if l start car, attach a hose from car tail pipe 2 a large suitcase & put suitcase in car. l'll shut doors/windows [open 1 window a little 4 hose], close rest of windows, go inside suitcase & zip it shut [w/ end of hose in suitcase]. How long wud it take 2 die from that?

l think the 2004 honda pilot has a catalytic converter in it. Can it still make co? & can it still b deadly?

l think the 2004 honda pilot has a catalytic converter in it. Can it still make co? & can it still b deadly?

l have 2 vacuum hoses, tape & a big storage tub w/ lid.

- l attach the hoses 2 car tail pipes [car has 2 tail pipes]

- attach the ends of the hoses in 2 the tub

- put the tub in the car

- get in car

- close doors/windows

- start car

- climb in tub

- close lid

How long wud it take 2 die from that?