Sian

I have suffered a long time with depression, PTSD and an on/off eating disorder. Well, I have been in treatment for all of this on and off for about 8 years now. At the moment I am seeing a CPN and am on a waiting list to see a psychotherapist. The thing is that I won't even get seen by them until after christmas, which will be for an assesment to see if they think it is the right help for me. In the meantime I will be lucky if I get to see my CPN more than once between now and then as she is going on holiday.

Now, I have already been turned down once for psychoterhapy as they thought I was at too high risk given my self harm. They were concerned that I would be triggered by the therapy to hurt myself more. Well, we are trying again and things are looking more hopeful. The problem is that I have started self harming more often again and I am having thoughts of suicide every day. I don't want to act on these thoughts. What can I do to stay safe for a few months til I am in therapy?

I suffered with both anorexia and bulimia when I was younger, though thankfully I avoided hospitalization. Since I was about 19 I have had on/off problems with food and weight but have always managed to avoid a relapse. I have a big problem at the moments though. There are ways that I am thinking and acting which are the same as when I was ill before. I feel sick when I eat, I feel fat even though I know I am far from it. I have started counting calories again and being sick every day. I don't want to end up going down this road again. I have told my dr what is going on but there is a long wait til I can see someone due to waiting lists. So I was hoping there would be maybe someone else who has been through this and has some tips on avoiding a relapse?