Trouble_Is_My_Name

First of all, I've done a ton of research about all the risks of irritation, fading, yellowing, and all of that. I only want to know about reputable artist that can and well do white tattoos, that you know about, first hand. I live in Kansas but I am certainly willing to travel to get the best tattoo. Money is not an issue. Thanks!

I have a few problems I'm stuck on and would really like to catch some zzz's. Can you help me?

1)Find the area of the smaller segment whose chord is 8" long in a circle with an 8" radius

2)Find the area of the larger segment whose chord is 8" long in a circle with an 8" radius. (Hint: A chord divides a circle into two segments. In problem 1, you found the area of the smaller segment.)

3)A segment of a circle has a 120 arc and a chord of 8in. Find the area of the segment.

My mother & I pierced the upper part of my ear (cartilage) over Christmas vacation (approx. Jan 3rd or so) ourselves with a sterile kit. It is a little farther in than typical, purely by accident. It is still painful when it gets brushed or caught in my hair. I can't sleep on that side very well. Is it possible that there is nerve damage or is this normal? Thank you for your time!

(No offense meant to any of the mentioned demographics!!)

A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to see some pitiful yankee queer.

The bartender looks up and says, "You ain't from around here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?"

The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."

The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"

The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks, "A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"

The guy says nervously, "I mount animals."

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

"An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce beautiful children beyond compare.

With that as his mission he began to search for the perfect woman.

Shortly thereafter he met a redneck who had three stunning ,gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the redneck and asked for permission to marry one of them.

The redneck simply replied, "They're lookin' to get married, so you came to the right place. Look 'em over and pick the one you want."

The man dated the first daughter. The next day the redneck asked for the man's opinion.

"Well," said the man, "she's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly notice...pigeon-toed."

The redneck nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls; so the man went out with the second daughter.

The next day, the redneck again asked how things went.

"Well,"the man replied, "she's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell...cross-eyed."

The redneck nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be better. So he did.

The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's perfect, just perfect. She's the one I want to marry."

So they were wed right away. Months later the baby was born. When the man visited the nursery he was horrified: the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his father-in-law and asked how such a thing could happen considering the beauty of the parents.

"Well," explained the redneck... "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could hardly tell... pregnant when you met her."

A football coach of an all redneck team walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "Four?"

"Four?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.

At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

Two rednecks walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. And, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the rednecks looks at her and says, 'Can ya swallow!?'

The woman shakes her head no.

Then he asks, 'Can ya breathe!?'

The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The redneck walks over to the woman, lifts up her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the Hillbilly walks slowly back to his table.

His partner says, 'Ya know, I'd heard of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver' but I ain't never seen nobody do it!'

Ms. Brooks was having trouble with one of her first-grade pupils. "Johnny,what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough, so she took Johnny to the principal's office. The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

He started by asking Johnny some simple arithmetic. "What is three times three?" "Nine, Sir." "How much is nine times six?" "Fifty-four." And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade student should know. The principal looked at Ms. Brooks and said, "I think Johnny can go to third grade! He seems smart enough."

Ms. Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Johnny both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Johnny, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am"

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" "Pockets!"

"OK,what does a dog do that a man steps into?" "Pants."

"What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" "Coconut."

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny was taking charge. "Bubblegum!"

"What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" "Shake hands, Ma'am."

"Now for some 'Who am I' sort of questions, OK? First one: You stick your pole inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do." Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!"

"OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding Ring!"

"I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good." "Nose."

"Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver." "Arrow."

"Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot of heat and excitement?" "Firetruck,Ma'am!"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

I want to give my boyfriend a c.d. for Valentine's Day, but I'm not sure that i have enough songs. I know I want (in no particular order) :

'Something in your Mouth' by Nickelback

'Bad Girlfriend' by Theory of a Dead Man

'Animals' by Nickelback

'Addicted' by Saving Abel

'Dirty Little Girl' by Burn Halo

'Crazy B**** ' by Buckcherry

Can you suggest or recommend similar songs? Please and thank you! :)

I want to give my boyfriend a c.d. for Valentine's Day, but I'm not sure that i have enough songs. I know I want (in no particular order) :

'Something in your Mouth' by Nickelback

'Bad Girlfriend' by Theory of a Dead Man

'Animals' by Nickelback

'Addicted' by Saving Abel

'Dirty Little Girl' by Burn Halo

'Crazy B**** ' (Is that the right title? Also, who is it by?)

Can you suggest or recommend similar songs? Please and thank you! :)

There's this old pirate who has a wooden left leg, a hook for a right hand, and an eye patch. One day he was walking through the park, a little boy sees him, and is soo excited that there is a real pirate that he runs up to him. When he gets up to the pirate, he sees the wooden leg, hook, and eye patch, and begins to have second thoughts. So he asks the pirate, "Mister, what happened to your leg?" The old pirate replies, "I got it blown off by a cannon when we was fighting with the others." The boy, not quite satisfied, asks "Well what did you do to your hand?" "I got it cut clean off in a sword fight." The boy, who by now is quite awed, has one more question, "What happened to your eye?" "One day I was looking up at the sky when the captain's parrot flew right over and sh*t right in my eye." The boy is caught off guard by this answer, so he says, "That happened to my sister, that doesn't make you go blind!" "Well, you see son, that was the first day I got my hook..." :P

Would you believe me if I told you I was a pathological liar?!?

I've never heard this saying before, I came up with it on my own...sorry if you've seen other versions! :P

I met a guy through an interstate exchange. We hung out and texted a lot while he was here. 1 night he told me that he liked me and I said that I liked him 2. The next day he hung out and flirted with another girl. I was upset, but I decided that we could still be friends. The day they left, he was still hanging out with the other girl, but we texted a little. For several days we just texted a little, but one day after a lull, he asked me out. I thought he was joking, so at first I blew him off. When he asked again, I said yes. Now he keeps asking what we'll do when he comes; telling me that he luvs me; and most of his texts sound like he just wants to sleep with me. I asked him if that was all he wanted but he said no. It won't hurt my feelings if he does, but does he really just want to hook up? If so, why doesn't he get a girl up there that he will see more? Or am I just reading him wrong? It would be very easy for him to get a girl, so is he just playing games?

I live in a small Eastern Kansas town, population 514.

Businesses we have include:

bar

gas station

mechanic

post office

bank

two churches

liquor store

hair dresser

public/high school

catholic grade school

park

car wash

we also have a developed housing community (other wisely known as Snob Hill, lol)

Our Claim to Fame:

The Chicken House, which is a home style eatery that is famous for its (brace yourselves!) ... fried chicken.

Please list the population, businesses, claim to fame, and anything else you think is interesting about your small town.