Mustard Hotdogs

I lost my job about 6 months back and had to move in with my mom. My sister and her son come over every Sunday for lunch and its so annoying I wish they would just get a life. Worst of all they expect me to just break up my routine for that hour.

Anyway, before they got there i was playing Call of Duty and i had it paused. My stupid little brat of a nephew decided to try his luck at the game and got me killed. I was so mad i just hit him in the gut. My sister of course took his side from the start, but it really hurt me that my mom didn't even try to hear my side of the story.

This was last week, and now she is telling me that if i don't find a job in 2 months she is kicking me out. This is such crap I was her son way before he was her grandson. How do I get her to see that maybe he should respect his elders and ask before he starts messing with peoples stuff.

PS, my sister told her ex husband and now i have to lay low in town.

Long story short i was in the recovery room at the hospital after my wife gave birth. I was a little bit flustered because she was being such a baby about the hole thing. Well another couple was also in the recovery room, and there baby was laying next to mine. I picked up the wrong baby, and after i noticed what i had done they had picked up mine and left.

I was way to embarrassed to say anything so i just took there baby home with us. I figured it wouldn't really matter, but that was 3 months ago and this baby and me have no bond. My wife seems to like it so I don't have much of a choice. My friend tells me i can blame the entire mess on the hospital, so im thinking about trying to do that. Could i get in trouble for this?