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Based on what he has told me he has stage 4 non-small cell lung cancer. He has been through some treatment which was some type of targeted light therapy but since then they have discovered new cancer in one of his kidneys. based on my research the outcome is not good. our children are 2 1/2 and 4 and have no idea what is going on which i think is best since they are too young to understand. I am consumed with the worry of how this will effect them. Are there any right answers here. It is very sad to think that my girls will lose their daddy at such a young age and my heart breaks for them. I just need some opinions on how to handle this situation and eventually having to explain death to my preschoolers... not just death but that daddy wont be physically there anymore.

I filed for divorce 3 weeks ago and I know this divorce is not going to go smoothly as he has said he was going to fight me on everything. He is only going to prolong the inevitable. I know that legally we are still married and therefore he is my husband however I am emotionally past ready to relieve him of that title. In conversation i find it easier to say "my ex" instead of "soon to be ex" because i know it wont be anytime soon. I was wondering if there were others out there who stopped "being married" once the papers were filed or if you waited till it was official to make it known.

I just filed for divorce 2 weeks ago. We have 2 small children both girls ages 3 years and 1 1/2 years old. I have always done all the work involved with raising our children and he has been more of a play dad when he felt like it. most of his time was spent in front of the TV or computer anyways and the children would basically have to jump in front of him to get any attention. He has never watched the youngest for more than a few hours at a time and even then i fear they were not properly supervised. I would never have left them but I was working a part time job (something he was against and very resentful of even though he could not keep a job long enough for us to be financially stable) and i preferred to have my mother watch them while i worked but he was against that too and dont even talk about putting them in day care! I was fighting an uphill battle every place i turned and had to gain some independence from his controlling and abusive behavior. He is a narcissist in every sense of the word and I was threatened on many occasions about how if I divorced him he would take the kids, i would never see them again. I had my life threatened he said he would have people beet me up. occasional physical violence but mostly verbal and always hurtful and I would always try to calm him down because i feared what he said he would do - well I got out it is an even longer story but I am living with my parents with my daughters and he is living with is mother now too because he is not working and can not support himself let alone a family! Anyways I ran with my kids 2 weeks ago on september 11th. I have allowed him to speak to our children every night on the phone because i feel that it is in our kids best interest to be in contact with their father. He asked for a continuance for our first court hearing so I have not recieved any court orders as to parenting time. It has been agreed to by our lawyers that he will get the visitation as stated in the guidelines which is every other weekend and one day a week - however he told me that if i was not willing to work with him on seeing his children more often then he was going to go for more and he thinks 2 weeks on and 2 weeks off would be a good idea! or even alternating weeks! Am I hearing this correctly? How in the world can this be healthy and in the best interest of our children? Its not it is in the best interest of the narcissist himself their father. Ant to tell you the truth if he were not living with his mother I would not have agreed to as much as I did. As i fear that his anger and lack of patience with our kids will be an issue once we go to court. I know its going to piss him off because I asked my lawyer to see about making him take anger management classes but i know that he needs them...

Is it possible that a judge might possibly grant this type of alternating weeks schedule? My girls are so young and need stability and i just do not see that coming from their father.

There is a long history of verbal abuse sometimes getting physical. He will break things when he is mad and has no regard for our children seeing him when he gets this way. I have given him 5 years of my life we have been married for 4 and have a 3 year old and an 18 month old both little girls. I do not want them growing up thinking that this type of relationship is ever ok and i have given him many chances to clean up his act. when he got the divorce papers he seriously did not expect it and now he is trying everything in the world to talk me out of it before we go to court on wednesday. I took the kids and we are living with my parents. I am happier and my children are happy i have been letting them talk to their dad each night before bed but now i dread it every time because he always turns it on me and uses the phone as a soap box to tell me this is not what he wants and that he wants to work it out and when i tell him i am not interested he gets so mad and starts the yelling and name calling that i am trying so desperately to get away from all over again so i hang up and put the girls to bed then feal bad because they did not get to talk to their dad. I am struggling with even continuing to have those calls so he can talk to the kids just because i do not want to hear it anymore. He threatens to come take the kids. Many arguments turned into fights over what would happen to the children if i did leave him- he says he would have the girls because without him i am unfit. he has threatened to have people he knows falsify a drug test to make it look like i was using (he is the one with a history of opiate dependancy) I have never had a drug problem, never even smoked weed, I take care of my childrens needs day in and day out he would not know any of their clothing sizes or shoe sizes if he were asked nor what to feed them and has never given a bath and only changed a handful of diapers in the last 3 years. I have felt like a single mother for so long already because i have not had the support from him. I am done with being mistreated and his mother starts on me about how i need to give our family a chance and he is willing to go to counseling so why would i want to tear my family apart without even trying. I feel like i have done all i can do and cannot see him changing and if he does it would only be long enough for him to get what he wants then it would be back to his usual controlling and insulting uncaring ways. How do i get it across to them that i am not doing this to hurt anybody but to protect our children from this cycle of abuse. He does not see himself as an abuser and has no accountability everything is always someone elses fault.

First of all let me say that I am going to go to counceling I am also not willing to choose my partners needs over my children.

My husband has been very critical and controlling and we got into an argument over me planning to meet my sister so she could see my girls ages 1 and 3 he got furious that I was" making plans without him" and literally got in my face I walked away and grabbed my phone because he started talking about taking the girls and I would never see them again and other crap like that he tried to grab the phone from me then grabbed my arms and pushed me backwards. I was ready to call the police but he told me his lawyer friend said I would go to jail as well and the girls would be given to my mother in law so I hung up. I talked him down and was able to continue with my plans. After I met with my sister I was not sure if Iwanted to go home so I called the local police station and they logged what happened and advised me to find a safe place to stay so i called the women's shelter and they told me. they had a spot and to come on in so I did. My husband and his mother kept texting and calling wanting to talk to the girls and know where we were but I only responded that we were safe by text I did not trust myself to actually talk. Now we are trying to work on the problem but I keep getting told I was immature and childish for not calling or saying where I was and how would I feel if he did the same thing to me. His mother also wants to know if since he has never directly hurt our children then what business did I have in taking them when I could have just left by myself!!! I can not tell him where I was because then if I ever had to leave again he would know where to look. Things have calmed downsince and he said he wants counciling how much should I trust that he will stop the abusive behavior towards me?

We have been having serious problems. He is verbally and emotionally abusive and I am in the process of trying to figure out how to get away without things getting violent. I do not use drugs or even drink but he still says that if I go for full custody he will demand a drug test and have the results doctored so that I wont be able too have my kids or see them. Is this possible if he knows people? He is the one with history of a drug problem. He says he will do anything to have me declared an unfit mother but he does nothing to help me with the kids who are now 3 and 15 months. He has never bathed them doesn't change them or feed them. He would be lost without me if he had the kids by himself and I worry that he wouldn't have the patience for them either. Can he "fix" this situation to lock me out of my children's lives or is he trying to scare and control me more than he already is?

We have been having serious problems. He is verbally and emotionally abusive and I am in the process of trying to figure out how to get away without things getting violent. I do not use drugs or even drink but he still says that if I go for full custody he will demand a drug test and have the results doctored so that I wont be able too have my kids or see them. Is this possible if he knows people? He is the one with history of a drug problem. He says he will do anything to have me declared an unfit mother but he does nothing to help me with the kids who are now 3 and 15 months. He has never bathed them doesn't change them or feed them. He would be lost without me if he had the kids by himself and I worry that he wouldn't have the patience for them either. Can he "fix" this situation to lock me out of my children's lives or is he trying to scare and control me more than he already is?

I can honestly tell when my daughter has a dirty diaper because i will smell buttered popcorn. It is not just me, my husband, mother and sister in law have noticed it as well. Can anyone tell me why this is? I have a 2 year old and never noticed that with her. . .

Maybe something to do with the fat content? With my first daughter i nursed 10 minutes on one side then let her finish on the other. This time around I just nurse on one side until she pulls away ( if she acts hungry i offer the other side but that rarely happens) so she may be getting a better "dose" of hind milk ??? What are your thoughts?

I gave birth to my daughter on February 24th 2011 i was induced due to high blood pressure issues at 38 weeks 1 day. I was already 2 cm dilated 60% effaced so there was no need for a cervical ripener - i was started on pitocin close to 2:00 am and progressed nicely 13 hours later i was ready to push had about 5 contractions with the nurse practicing and then waited for the dr. where i delivered within 2 contractions- so all in all it was a wonderful labor and delivery I did receive the epidural after they broke my water about 6 hours into my labor and it caused itching so they gave me nubaine for that. this is all some background to offer in case it has something to do with the reason why my feet would be so swollen. . .

My feet have been swollen since about 2 weeks before delivery but it got worse after delivery and has not eased up since. I asked my dr. about it last monday and he said it was normal and should go away within a week so i will be calling back tomorrow to let them know. they are so swollen that the skin is tight and shiny almost up to my knees and not only that but it is painful - it feels like a bruise is covering my entire feet and it is affecting my range of motion i am unable to point my toes and putting shoes on is avoided at all costs because it hurts to walk even once i finely get them on! HAS ANYONE ELSE HAD THIS ISSUE!? i am at a loss here. . . help please!

I am being induced in about 6 hours! 38 weeks pregnant today but the induction is a little early due to the fact that my blood pressure is really really high 170's /90's its not considered an emergency because there is no protein in my urine so they are not too worried about preeclampsia but i have constant headache and pretty bad pitting edema as well so they decided that it was best to induce - i was induced with my first child 19 months ago due to preeclampsia and i was not dilated/efaced/soft at all and it took 57 hours on pitocin to finally deliver her! so i am excited at the possibility of a quicker labor!

my question is what are your birth stories were you induced were you already dilated? I am just trying to bide my time as i am so excited i know i should get some sleep but that is easier said than done.

I am going to be induced tomorrow at 38 weeks anyway because i have had blood pressure issues and it has gotten pretty bad- they are concerned about preeclampsia. I would much rather start having contractions on my own and perhaps avoid the use of pitocin ( i was induced with my daughter at 36 1/2 weeks due to preeclampsia and it was horrible. I am hoping that since i am further along that maybe it might work. I had an ultrasound today and they estimate the baby is 8 pounds 10 ounces already so size is not going to be a problem i just hope her lungs are ready but she has to come out regardless my bp is running in the 160's/100's and i have had a pretty bad headache all day that wont go away.

I know there is a lot of controversy over the use of castor oil to induce labor have any of you tried it? did it work? if you do not approve of it please do not be nasty in your answer.

I have been sore at my inner thighs for several days now what i would describe as if you had ridden a horse all day and now this morning my very very low back at my tail bone is hurting- I have had pretty bad back pain for several months now but this is new and i am hoping that my little girl is engaging as i am having issues with my blood pressure and will probably be induced after my next OB appointment on tuesday to prevent it turning into full blown preeclampsia which i had with my first born. I have also been able to feel her head sometimes causing shooting pains "down there" which i am assuming is her hear right up against my cervix but i am not sure if that means she is engaged or not???? also i am carrying extra amniotic fluid so i worry about a cord prolapse if my water breaks on its own if she is not engaged. . . does anyone have any experience with either of these issues?

I have been sore at my inner thighs for several days now what i would describe as if you had ridden a horse all day and now this morning my very very low back at my tail bone is hurting- I have had pretty bad back pain for several months now but this is new and i am hoping that my little girl is engaging as i am having issues with my blood pressure and will probably be induced after my next OB appointment on tuesday to prevent it turning into full blown preeclampsia which i had with my first born. I have also been able to feel her head sometimes causing shooting pains "down there" which i am assuming is her hear right up against my cervix but i am not sure if that means she is engaged or not???? also i am carrying extra amniotic fluid so i worry about a cord prolapse if my water breaks on its own if she is not engaged. . . does anyone have any experience with either of these issues?

I am 37 1/2 weeks pregnant. I have had back pain throughout most of this pregnancy but now that it is accompanied with the crampy feeling like i am getting ready to start my period i am not sure if it is the normal back pain or maybe back labor- It is pretty constant and i can not find a comfortable position anywhere! How much longer should i expect it to last before i start to experience real labor?

i feel like i am getting ready to start my period - is this any indication that real contractions that will bring on labor will come soon?

i feel like i am getting ready to start my period. are these cramps the beginning of contractions that will bring on labor?

i am 37 weeks pregnant and have a Dr. appointment tomorrow so i will be asking about it then but i wanted some insight from mothers who had maybe been through this before. I have had lots of braxton hicks during this pregnancy (my second) but the last few days i have noticed that i can have them as often as every 15 minutes or so off and on throughout the day (nothing to get excited about I know) but my question is pertaining to the pain - i could be in the middle of a pretty strong braxton hicks contraction or so i think where it is not painful only uncomfortable but have to stand up from a sitting position ( i have an 18 month old and sometimes have to move quickly LOL) when i do stand up in the middle of the braxton hicks it can be downright painful- does that mean that it is actually a real contraction? I was induced with my daughter so it is hard for me to go by past experience as i never had contractions until i was put on pitocin - personal experiences on going into labor and such are also welcome! thank you- I am hoping to go into labor soon as i will be induced in a week due to high blood pressure if i do not go on my own before then thanks

what is your opinion? The fear of shoulder dystocia is based on the prediction that the baby is big close to the 90th percentile.

OK long story but i'll try to make it short- I passed my glucose test at 28 weeks then a few weeks ago when i was 33 weeks i had a lot of glucose in my urine and they drew labs- no one called me back so i called and the nurse said that everything looked normal. At my next appointment the Dr. told me that there was something in the blood work that indicated that i have some type of carbohydrate intolerance?? and referred me to a diabetic counselor to start monitoring my blood sugar and learn how to change my diet- I have been monitoring my blood sugar for about a week now and except for 2 times when my blood sugar got up to 140 (probably due to my coke-a-cola addiction) they have all been under the goal of below 120 for 2 hours after a meal and below 95 when i wake up in the morning ( my average is exactly 100 ) which i think is quite good and doubt that i have gestational diabetes at all

my question is for those of you with experience in GD would be does it look as though i do have a problem with my blood sugar i honestly believe that i had too many honey nut cherrios before my appointment when i was spilling glucose in my urine.

also at what point do dr.s want to give you insulin if you have gestational diabetes

what were your blood sugar levels like

I delivered my first child vaginally after being induced due to my blood pressure (preeclampsia) at one day shy of 37 weeks she weighted 7 pounds 5 ounces.

18 months later i am 35 weeks pregnant with my second daughter at 34 weeks she was measuring 6 pounds 4 ounces which is the 84th percentile and her abdomen was measuring larger at the 97th percentile. I have had some blood pressure issues this time as well so they already told me that they would induce at 38 weeks to prevent preeclampsia from setting in due to my history and that is fine with me. but at the last dr. appointment my dr was saying that he was concerned about the baby being to big and wanting to do a c-section due to the risk of shoulder dystocia- i told him that i would not want to have the c-section but if it is for the health of my child we will discuss that at a later time. He told me that the plan of action would be to have another growth scan done at 37 weeks and then go from there- if the baby was close to 9 pounds he is thinking c-section but if it does not look that big then i can try for a vaginal birth via induction at 38 weeks- needless to say i am praying i go into labor on my own before then.

i would like to here others experiences with this situation and any info on shoulder dystocia would be appreciated- do you have experience with a dr. wanting to push a c-section- i am sure that he is trying to scare me into just doing the c-section however i have an 18 month old and then having a newborn to take care of is going to be hard enough let alone if i am healing from a major abdominal surgery hopped up on pain killers and not able to lift anything! what should i do???