Beatrice

We’ve been engaged for a long time now but I refuse to marry him, he’s an alcoholic and drinks heavily and sometimes gets behind the wheel while intoxicated. He’s a liability and I refuse to be a part of any of it. Today he made me so mad I asked him to move out his drinking is priority he wakes up and his goal for the day is to get loaded before noon it’s gotten to the point where I need to hide his keys and wallet so he has no access to more alcohol the liquor store refuses to sell to him when he’s loaded. I’ve had to call 911 when he wouldn’t wake up I thought he had a heart attack after they released him from the hospital I was there to pick him up he chewed me out for calling 911 saying he didn’t have the money to pay for the ER or ambulance. The neighbors have helped me get him into the house when he arrives in an Uber and passes out In the street I can’t carry him and have no way of moving him. I can not imagine doing this into my 60’s I don’t have the strength or the energy. He has no where to go I own the home we are living in but he has no goals other than where and how to get another drink. 

My husbands mother was just diagnosed and I completely understand how his friends don’t want to approach him but the thing is she was in a nursing home and they didn’t allow us to visit for at least a month she was admitted and diagnosed five days ago. I understand and am not offended no one knows how it spreads so when we go visit and they don’t hug you or show the emotion  you expect I understand not to sure if he does 

My son just said it's a waste to have such a big home for three people. I bought a home so he can have his own room sure we have a lots of empty space but I got tired of renting and paper thin walls and landlords.

Had dinner with another dept a few girls pointed out the gorgeous earrings they had received from the head of their department upon reaching their 10yr when I mentioned it to my boss a finance executive he said he didn't do that. I was shocked. im approaching my 10yr and feel like I'm not valuade like other employees. I'm his assistant my job revolves upon keeping this executive together for ten years. The company makes billions and it goes beyond an anniversary gift, he's overlooked decent raises and created a bonus program where I was docked my full potential bonus even after a great review when I mentioned I was being singled out that since he rolled out the program and he said yes I guess sometimes you are. I wouldn't mind taking the bad with the good but it's mostly bad.