LadyLuck

Two of my best friends have decided on a destination wedding in October. It's pretty pricey. Because they have chosen to do the ceremony in the middle of the week, there is no way my husband (who was invited) can go. I'm balking at the price tag to even go part of the time. I just keep thinking what all else I could spend that much money on. I'm certain our other best friend will in no way be able to afford to go, as she is barely scraping by as it is.

My question is how to politely broach the subject with the bride-to-be. I know she won't be mad or anything, but I honestly want her input on whether or not I should attend/how important it is to her. But I don't know how best to bring it up. Should it just be me and her? Us and the groom too (I introduced them and am close to both)? Should I bring our other best friend who I know is having financial trouble? Do I just say, "Hey, I need to talk about this," or is there a more tactful way.

I know how sensitive I was - and many brides are - about their wedding, so I don't want to sound as though I am mad or upset or sad or anything other than honestly wanting her input.

I kind of hate it. Particularly the way "My Activities" is today. I want to see when questions I've answered have been resolved, and I can't. I want to go back and look at other poster's answers, and it's incredibly difficult to navigate now. Is there are place on Y!A to comment or complain or something?

I'm asking this out of sheer curiosity.

What's too much for you? If you're married to someone, where is the line? If he cheats on you, do you burn his things and never look back? Or do you cry and eat ice cream and get counseling and try to work it out? What about chatting with someone online? Do you end it or get all his passwords and put a keystroke monitor on his computer? What if he lies? Can you deal with lies about money but not about other women? What if it's a lie about one of your children?

Obviously, you can never truly know how you would react to, say, infidelity until you've actually been in that situation. But there are so many women on here saying "He lied!" or "He was texting another girl! Should I leave him?" Also, the rules are definitely different once you're actually married versus just engaged or just together. I'm just wondering where everyone stands on these things.

And I'm asking this in weddings because I like the people in weddings, and in my experience, a lot of the people over in marriage and divorce seem kind of insane.

I'm just curious because we've recently had a lot of students from Kuwait frequent my place of work. Most of them dress like normal Americans, but one sometimes wears what I think is some type of turban. It looks like this: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_QfVWU-2pVL4/SFg0orEL_3I/...

It is white and long down the sides and back and appears to have some kind of black rope or crown around the top. I'm wondering what this is called, how common it is, and if it has any significance as far as social standing?

Thank you!

My fiance and I both love both of these songs. We're perfectly happy dancing to either, but we're having a hard time picking one over the other. So I'd like to do a little survey and see which one you all like more for a first dance.

1. "Would You Go With Me?" by Josh Turner http://www.vevo.com/watch/josh-turner/would-you-go...

2. "Honey Bee" by Blake Shelton http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xZjosn2u1gA

Our venue is requiring that we get event liability insurance for our wedding. Getting it online is $100-$150 cheaper than the quotes from local insurance agencies. I'm a little worried that the online companies aren't reliable, though. I'm not terribly worried that anything is going to happen that would cause us to use the insurance, but you never know. Does anyone have any experience with online event insurance?

Our venue is requiring that we get event liability insurance for our wedding. Getting it online is $100-$150 cheaper than the quotes from local insurance agencies. I'm a little worried that the online companies aren't reliable, though. I'm not terribly worried that anything is going to happen that would cause us to use the insurance, but you never know. Does anyone have any experience with online event insurance?

So we're finalizing our guest list, and I'm really not sure about the etiquette of inviting coworkers/employees. I am now the general manager where I work. We have about 16 workers total. The owner is coming to my wedding. I am definitely inviting the 2 others who are in management positions/at the same level as I am. We've all known each other and worked together for years and are friends outside of work.

I'm wondering what the etiquette is about inviting those whom I directly supervise. Two of my employees were friendly with my fiance in college. They weren't very close, but we like them, and I would like to invite them. I like the rest of the people I supervise, but we aren't close at all. We can only afford a limited number of guests, so I really don't want to take up spots for people I'm not at all close to.

Is it an all-or-nothing kind of thing? I can't invite 2 employees and leave the rest out, can I? That just seems wrong. But I'm also afraid they'll all be offended if I don't invite them. On the flip side, I don't want to invite people who don't want to come but feel they have to because I'm their boss.

I'd really appreciate your opinions.

My maid/matron of honor was married when I asked her to fill the position. By the time of the wedding, she will be divorced.

Neither of us really cares what she's called in the program, but I'm curious as to what the "proper" title would be for a divorcee?

No one really likes my fiance's brother in law. They live across the country, he hardly knows my fiance. My fiance is 13 years younger than his sister and BIL. The BIL likes to butt in where he isn't wanted. After we got engaged, he messaged my fiance and told him to call it off, even though he had never met me. When they visit during the holidays, he takes over the living room playing video games while everyone else is working on dinner and cleaning and watching his kids.

Anyway, I really want my reception to be open. I want anyone who wants to toast or give a speech to be able to. He's the only one I see as a potential problem. I really don't want him to be able to speak because it's entirely possible he will say something incredibly offensive to us and the rest of our guests. My fiance completely agrees with me on this, but we don't know what to do or if there is anything we can do.

I have to invite him. His daughters are our flower girls, and his whole family is traveling literally across the country to attend our wedding.

Is there anything I can do short of saying, "You. You aren't allowed to talk."?

My fiance and I would rather be married by a friend than a stranger, so we want our friend to get ordained online.

The state code says: 36-3-301. Persons who may solemnize marriages.

(a) (1) All regular ministers, preachers, pastors, priests, rabbis and other spiritual leaders of every religious belief, more than eighteen (18) years of age, having the care of souls

It's the "care of souls" part that is concerning us. Does he actually have to have some form of congregation? I called the county clerk's office. They're kind of clueless in general, but they said they needed no documentation whatsoever that our officiant is really a minister.

People talk on here about having a friend get ordained often, so I'm looking for some educated advice. I just don't want to do this and find out in 10 years that our marriage isn't valid.

The link to the whole section of the state code is: http://tennessee.gov/tccy/tnchild/36/36-3-301.htm

My good friend has an interview for Veterinary school at the University of Tennessee next week. I'm wondering if anyone has any experience in this. If so, could you recall some of the questions you were asked. She's studied questions on blogs and such, but she just wants to be as prepared as possible.

I have a friend who is 25 and has been married for 10 years. Her relationship with her husband has always been awful, even before they were married. He has always lied to her and treated her very disrespectfully... not abusive, but he constantly makes fun of her and puts her down when she's happy, etc. Their sex life has never been regular; for the last year or so it's nonexistent. The last few years, she has been very drawn to other men and has acted on these attractions but never gone so far as intercourse. Her husband knows she's drawn to other men but doesn't know the extent, and she knows he's lied to her, but she probably doesn't know the extent of that either.

Recently, she seems to have realized she needs a divorce. She got papers. They fought about it. He doesn't fight for her or their marriage. He just says things like "we don't act like just friends." He agreed to sign them, but now she doesn't want to file them because "he cried, and I hate to see him cry." She has some serious attachment issues. She is incapable of letting someone go from her life. She wants a divorce but still wants to talk to him everyday and "be best friends." He's said he won't talk to her after a divorce.

My question (and I apologize for the length) is, how do I support her? It's taken 10 years to get to this point. I think this is a very unhealthy relationship and want my friend to find someone who she loves madly, someone who treats her how she deserves. She's never had that because this guy was her first and only relationship. For 10 years, I've tried everything (along with our other best friend). I've tried to just say supportive cliches. I've tried to tell her how I really think. I've played devil's advocate. I've tried to sugarcoat everything but still get the message across. She is still dragging her feet and still stuck in this sad marriage. When she told me she didn't think she could file papers because he cried, I responded by saying "I understand it's sad, but is that really enough to stop you from filing?" That made her pretty mad.

I know our friendship will survive this, and I really just want her to be happy. It's been 10 years of misery (and she really has been miserable though she doesn't seem to remember it that way) already, but she's incapable of letting go. "She loves him" and says she doesn't want to lose him from her life even though she's not in love with him. How do I be a good friend and support her while helping her get out of this and finally find happiness?

PS They've tried counseling to no avail. They have no children and very few assets to divide.

I'm planning my wedding for July. My fiance and I have no idea how to register for our wedding, particularly as far as letting people know about it. I'm not going to make a wedding website, and our wedding is going to be pretty low-key and DIY. Do I include a list of places we're registered in the invitations? If not, how do I let people know? Also, we already live together and have most of the household stuff that you usually register for. The only things we need would be pretty expensive like a kitchen island or maybe an actual silver set. I could use more shelves, but I feel like I shouldn't register for lumber.... Any advice would be greatly appreciated as I'm truly at a loss.

My fiance says he wants books for his upcoming birthday (as if we don't have enough already), but I'm having trouble coming up with anything I really think he'll like. He loves Nietzsche, Derrida, Neil Gaiman, Jasper Fforde, mythology, The Dark Towers, Bernard Cornwell. He's currently reading all of the James Bond books. Last year, I got him the Dictionary of Made-Up Languages.

He's 21 and a psychology student who works in a mental health unit in a hospital.

Any help would be greatly appreciated.